Posted on 01/18/2013 2:05:46 PM PST by NYer
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.
Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.
Suzanne Venker’s article, “The War on Men,” which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.
“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.
She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.
“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.
As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”
“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”
“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”
“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”
A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.
Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.
“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.
Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.
The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.
It's worth taking a drink in front of them just to be sure.
RC that pic does NOT represent the feminist woman at all!
Nope sorry! Not in the least.
Try something with a little more diesel in it.
It's a societal characteristic. Victims get a pass on doing anything for themselves. If a person can't actually achieve public Victimhood, he can try to pick up the vibe by feeling really, really bad for victims and supporting hugs and handouts to victims.
I like to say, "I'm not a victim: I'm a perpetrator!" which is a way of saying, "I'm the subject of my sentences, not the object."
Given today’s society ... unless both partners believe in traditional values the odds for a lasting marriage are pretty dim
The fact is, our culture promotes having fun and easy sex. I waited to get married for a lot longer than my parents did because, frankly it was fun. I have friends who are still single, they just keeping hanging out with younger girls. By late 20s, most girls are ready to settle down. It used to be early 20s or earlier.
Why would most guys be encouraged to settle down when they can live single, get girls, and have a good time? It is a cultural change, and not one that has been good for our nation.
Rush is in the running for “Maybe the common element in all your failed relationships is YOU.” Him and Taylor Swift ;-).
Then the long courtship full of hand holding and brief, discreet kisses. The thrill of praying beside her at Mass, knowing that their souls were uniting, knowing that the reined passions would be released on the wedding night, when they, like two deer maddened by love, would dance in the holy forest under skies crammed with singing stars. A great joy was hidden in their longing. He and Carol discussed it often, murmuring consolations and reminders, waiting together for the sacrament, as love deepened and deepened until it seemed there was no bottom to the reservoir. When the reservoir fountained at last, there was no holding it back; it became a river, became a flood, then spilled into the oceanic cosmos of supernatural love, natural and supernatural flowing together in potent-fertile joy. They drowned in it and were born.http://www.fightingirishthomas.com/2012/02/parable-of-prodigal-papa-michael-d.html
How poor were the tumbled metaphors with which he had sought to express something that was—was everything: the mystery of love. The dance of love. The sea of love. The kingdom of love. The night Jacob was conceived, the night Andrew came into existence. The countless tender moments.
The fire that burned but did not consume, two small flames that filled the whole realm of their covenant, uniting into a single flame that was greater than the sum of its provinces. They had no need for lands, or money, or power. Their bed was consecrated and joy filled; its four posts were the quadrants of the world’s compass, their quilted blankets a domain spreading from horizon to horizon.
Prayer was the atmosphere of their kingdom. Their children were conceived in prayer and born in prayer. Carol had died praying, held in his arms and enfolded in his prayers. Birth and death had been suffused with grace. And because that was true, Alex now reminded himself, even the darkness was enfolded, even the loss and the abandonment, and the falling through the ice of the solid world into the desolation beneath (pgs. 291, 292). --Michael D. O'Brien, The Father's Tale
> “I see this turning into the friday night fight thread.”
Oh, I hope so. My evening is going to be a little dull otherwise.
The feminists will probably show up later in the wee hours of the morning after they come home from their date while hubby’s was out of town...lol
Or, from MY perspective (nearly wiped out financially by my drug-addled ex):
“Why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage?”
*SMIRK* :)
“she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married”
Subculture? It is THE CULTURE.
Men risk far too much (as you describe); if you ever want to talk a guy out of marriage, simply ask a man how he’ll feel ten years down the road when his kids are sleeping in the house he used to live in, with some strange guy sleeping in the bed he used to sleep in.
I’m married more than fifteen years, but she’s a foreigner from a traditional background.
I cannot understand multiple marriages. Heck, your just asking for trouble and lose another house. Happy New year to you chick.....GG
They should change the name of this website to “Free Republic of Women-Haters, Except for Our Much Younger Second Filipino Wives.”
You have touched on the crux of the problem - premarital sex. This is yet another testimony to the collapse of western culture.
“The decks are all stacked against men”
Legalized affirmative action makes this more than just an opinion; it is government policy.
“Not enough people seem willing to admit that there is plenty of blame to go around on ALL sides, and that we should try to come together.”
When women oppose against affirmative action, that MIGHT happen; don’t hold your breath.
“I think people would rather be victims.”
The men aren’t complaining; they sometimes have to defend their bachelorhood against social/family pressures, but I assure you they are quite content to let the culture that marginalized them go the way of the dodo. I’m not surprised at the number of American men I know who are much more open to marrying foreign women; the American women can boil & seethe at the new crop of mestizos running around.
whoever said it, its worth a laugh....GG
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”
I saw that on a T-shirt at a flea market: “Why get married? Find a nasty b!tch and buy her a house.”
“Count the men, then count the white men.”
Then count the straight men and whatcha got ?
“I wonder how women would feel about investing their hearts and identity in becoming wives and mothers under the conditions that American men face today, to casually have her children and home taken from her at his whim, with the support of the state, while she has to pay for the privilege.”
Well said.
“Why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage?”
That’s great!
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