Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Mother, Can You Spare a Room?
The Wall Street Journal ^ | May 3, 2013 | KIRSTEN GRIND

Posted on 05/05/2013 1:47:55 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican

As Rachel Zahn's three children were growing up, she liked to warn them, half jokingly, not to overstay their welcome. "Checkout time at this hotel is age 18," the 56-year-old nonprofit director would tell them.

It hasn't worked out that way. A year and a half ago, Ms. Zahn's oldest son, Sam, 25, asked if he could move back to the family's home in Solana Beach, Calif.—near San Diego—with his girlfriend in tow. He wanted to save money when attending graduate school while his girlfriend worked full-time.

Ms. Zahn and her husband agreed. Sam and his girlfriend moved into his old bedroom.

"We made that decision to let him save money," Ms. Zahn says. "The cost of living in San Diego is crazy."

The Zahns are hardly alone. As an expected 1.8 million college graduates descend on the real world this month and next, many of them will move back in with their parents. The trend is keeping the graduates from assuming responsibility for their own finances.

Parents, meanwhile, are finding themselves stuck caring for children, sometimes for much longer than they planned, with no exit plan in sight—often damaging their own financial health and retirement savings.

Financial advisers say hosting an adult age child back at home can cost between $8,000 a year to $18,000 a year, depending on how much parents are shelling out for extras like travel and entertainment.

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-63 next last

1 posted on 05/05/2013 1:47:55 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

2 posted on 05/05/2013 1:53:51 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

A bed, maybe, but “travel and entertainment”??? These people must be wearing tee shirts with “Door Mat” on them.


3 posted on 05/05/2013 1:54:02 PM PDT by txrefugee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Sam Zahn?


4 posted on 05/05/2013 1:56:32 PM PDT by hiho hiho
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
"...depending on how much parents are shelling out for extras like travel and entertainment."

How about zero? The economy is terrible, the cost of living is through the roof and it is completely understandable that these days that people won't be able to be self-sufficient the day they get out of college.

But the idea of parents paying for things like travel and entertainment is beyond ridiculous. If I found myself in such a situation I'd be grateful to be given a place to stay (I'd also expect to pay rent along with doing whatever chores I was responsible for while living at home before). I can't imagine expecting to be entertained at parents expense.

5 posted on 05/05/2013 1:56:37 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Gone Galt, 11/07/12----No king but Christ! Don't tread on me!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: txrefugee

That was exactly my thought. Lend you something I already have and am not using so you can get a leg up, assuming you have a plan and a timeline, sure. Buy you stuff (even food), like you’re still my minor child? Not so much.


6 posted on 05/05/2013 1:57:06 PM PDT by Still Thinking (Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
It hasn't worked out that way. A year and a half ago, Ms. Zahn's oldest son, Sam, 25, asked if he could move back to the family's home in Solana Beach, Calif.—near San Diego—with his girlfriend in tow. He wanted to save money when attending graduate school while his girlfriend worked full-time.

Not only no but **** NO!

You can live in amoral sin on your own dime sonny boy.

I will not sanction your sin with my willing acceptance and financial support.

7 posted on 05/05/2013 1:57:14 PM PDT by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminishes the human spirit.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pontiac

A boyfriend or girlfriend living in my house?
No way in hell.


8 posted on 05/05/2013 2:00:38 PM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Any adult child of mine would find a home with us - under certain conditions.

Must be working and contributing to the household expenses (he or she can work at Burger King until the “right” job comes along, too), or is ill or has sustained injuries and needs help.

No live-in “friends,” either!


9 posted on 05/05/2013 2:02:45 PM PDT by GSD Lover
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
I have two adult children living at home, one moved back in because she simply could not afford to go it alone...she was "borrowing" a $100.00 a month just to eat, the other is about to turn 22...

Both work and both pay rent and do chores and most DEFINITELY are not allowed to have the opposite sex living here or even staying the night...

10 posted on 05/05/2013 2:03:32 PM PDT by Popman (Godlessness is always the first step to the concentration camp.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
There should not be any "shelling out" or "extras".

Unemployment/underemployment is understandable but it needs to be taken seriously. If you are living in your parents' home at 25+ then it should be expected that every minute is spent job searching,working part time, and studying in preparation for the next degree.
11 posted on 05/05/2013 2:03:51 PM PDT by Wanderer99
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Maybe have the son move back in. But also girlfriend? No way.


12 posted on 05/05/2013 2:04:06 PM PDT by apocalypto
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
I'm 28 and the only reason I rent a room in my parents' house is so that I can save up the $40,000 for a post bac and the $200,000 for medical school. Suffice to say it is an investment on their part.

If you are an adult living 'at home' then there should be no fun whatsoever.
13 posted on 05/05/2013 2:07:45 PM PDT by Wanderer99
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
shelling out for extras like travel and entertainment.

LOL...T&E!....not even a tax write off for these idiot parents

14 posted on 05/05/2013 2:07:45 PM PDT by Popman (Godlessness is always the first step to the concentration camp.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Popman
An acquaintance of mine recently moved back into his parents home (he is 23). He pays rent, which for some reason he thinks entitles him to do whatever the hell he feels like (as in, "I pay rent which makes you my landlord, hence you cannot tell me anything.")

He constantly whines that "he's an adult" and his parents "have no right to pry into the life of another adult." The fact that he lives in their house doesn't seem to factor into his foolish thinking. Never mind members of the opposite sex staying the night, they've told him that he is not to date while living in their home, because dating should only be to lead to marriage, and a chump living in his parents attic obviously isn't in a position to drop down on one knee.

There is a such a sense of entitlement among younger people these days...It makes me worry about how America is going to defend itself with so many weak-kneed, gutless adult-babies.

15 posted on 05/05/2013 2:14:22 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Gone Galt, 11/07/12----No king but Christ! Don't tread on me!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Oh, what a blessing it has been for me and Mrs. Repeal for the last two years.

After struggling though some financial and job misfortunes,
our middle child, his wife, and their two kids moved in with us.

They have gotten back on their feet and will soon be moving out on their own.

These last two years of watching my grand kids grow up has been marvelous.

I would not have traded it for anything in the world.


16 posted on 05/05/2013 2:14:34 PM PDT by Repeal The 17th (We have met the enemy and he is us.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Wanderer99

I’m 29 and I’ve been living on my own since 18. I have a few childhood friends who still lives at home with their parents. I blame their parents because they are enabling them to stay at home. My parents never made it comfortable for me and my two brothers so we all left home as soon as we turned 18.


17 posted on 05/05/2013 2:14:41 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
He wanted to save money when attending graduate school while his girlfriend worked full-time.

And how much additional debt is he racking up to pay for grad school? How many more years will he be unable to support himself because he is paying off student loans? No mention of what he's studying, but if he can't get a job with a 4 year degree, will his outlook be better with a Masters or PHD? But since mom is a "nonprofit director" she probably shares the liberal fetish for higher eduction, regardless of the cost and benefits thereof.

18 posted on 05/05/2013 2:16:48 PM PDT by Hugin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hugin

He can still work while attending graduate school. He just doesn’t want to work.


19 posted on 05/05/2013 2:18:08 PM PDT by AppyPappy (You never see a massacre at a gun show.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd
There is a such a sense of entitlement among younger people these days...It makes me worry about how America is going to defend itself with so many weak-kneed, gutless adult-babies.

I see the same thing among my acquanitances/friends. Personally, I think Baby Boomers need to toughen up when it comes to parenting their (adult!) children.

20 posted on 05/05/2013 2:19:07 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd
There is a such a sense of entitlement among younger people these days.

O' yes there is...My 22 year will once in awhile think along these terms..."I pay rent so you can't tell me what to do or I don't need to do anything around the house"

My response...get over yourself and there is the door...Love you, good luck...I will help you pack...

21 posted on 05/05/2013 2:20:39 PM PDT by Popman (Godlessness is always the first step to the concentration camp.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Heh, would anybody on here find it funny if I said my mom moved in with me for a few months? How often do you hear about that happening?

As to the subject of the story, is anyone besides me wondering if these kids futures would’ve turned out differently if they understood that there would no longer be any free rides after they hit eighteen?


22 posted on 05/05/2013 2:20:41 PM PDT by RWB Patriot ("My ability is a value that must be purchased and I don't recognize anyone's need as a claim on me.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd; MinorityRepublican; All

When my younger son who was dyslexic and had dropped out of school turned 18, I told him that his older brother who was in the military said when his friends mustered out and went back home, they were paying $200 a month for room and board (1991). My son said, “OK, I’ll move out.” He and 4 friends rented a 4 story run down town house for $350 a month. He met his future wife there, and he is now married with two children and doing reasonably well financially, and is happy with his life.


23 posted on 05/05/2013 2:24:24 PM PDT by gleeaikin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: RWB Patriot
Heh, would anybody on here find it funny if I said my mom moved in with me for a few months?

Yeah, but you owe it to your mom (or dad). That's just paying back a small part of what they gave you. Well, maybe not everyone (there are some awful parents out there), but most.

24 posted on 05/05/2013 2:26:10 PM PDT by Hugin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

It’s obama’s folking fault


25 posted on 05/05/2013 2:29:08 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RWB Patriot

My mother lived with me and my wife for over two years.
It was a blessing to have her with us.
She currently lives with my brother.
She will be 93 in June.


26 posted on 05/05/2013 2:29:41 PM PDT by Repeal The 17th (We have met the enemy and he is us.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: CaptainK

really, what a freaking idiot. He can move in but not the girl. And that is all, he can pay his own gas, insurance clothes, cleaning, car payment. He is welcome to eat what is around, but cannot order anything from the grocery store.


27 posted on 05/05/2013 2:30:57 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Maybe the parents are to blame? Anybody feel the parents did an inadequate job of explaining how to, and the many benefits of, living independently?

At any rate, the girl friend should go. The parents are just enablers.


28 posted on 05/05/2013 2:31:59 PM PDT by upchuck (To the faceless, jack-booted government bureaucrat who just scanned this post: SCREW YOU!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Only one of the girls has ever moved back in and that was after 8 years in the Navy, she stayed about 2 months until she found a job. Second oldest lives in Wyoming and here and her husband are doing fine. The Youngest is headed to BYU for her Masters this fall but she never had time to come home. She was on Mission with the church.


29 posted on 05/05/2013 2:33:02 PM PDT by Dusty Road
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
When I was in my 20s, I moved out and my parents were upset. In those days, until the girls married, they lived with the parents.

It was different for boys, but my brother continued to live with my parents. He didn't leave home until he married — at age 50.

30 posted on 05/05/2013 2:37:32 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Pontiac
Not only no but **** NO!

I'll bet way more than half the parents of adult children in this country would consider that mean-spirited and judgmental. Which explains why we won't have a country much longer.

31 posted on 05/05/2013 2:39:09 PM PDT by madprof98
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Wanderer99

Just what kind of judgement is that? Saving for medical school. Don’t you understand nobama care is here? You’d do better to drive a cab.


32 posted on 05/05/2013 2:51:29 PM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

You can’t stop loving your kids and wanting them safe and sound. Libby moved back in with us for a year and a half, although she is adult and had a pretty good job. The expensive DC area and a long commute just wore her down. She paid $500/month rent for a bedroom, bath and sitting room in our basement. She just moved herself to Savannah with a better job, in a you-haul truck trailing her car. I returned all her rent money as a surprise gift to start her saving/investment practices. No harm, no foul.

TC


33 posted on 05/05/2013 2:59:32 PM PDT by Pentagon Leatherneck
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: RWB Patriot

As to the subject of the story, is anyone besides me wondering if these kids futures would’ve turned out differently if they understood that there would no longer be any free rides after they hit eighteen?
____________________

I agree with you. We have a couple that are our friends. Their younger son has lived with them off and on for 7 years. He’s now 25. The mother would pay the son’s car loan and not tell her husband, slip him extra money and all this while the kid was working.

My thought is, if you can afford your car and you have a job, maybe you need a cheaper car. The first time he moved out on his own, he called his mom the 2nd day he was in his apartment and asked her “how come there’s no cable, no sports channel, etc.” When told he had to call and have those services turned on and pay for them, he said “I think I have to move back home.” She let him and paid for him breaking his lease to move home.

Now that he’s got a very good job, he’s still at home because she wants him to get a house but only on the “good part of town” where his parents live. Well we can’t even afford a home there and we make more than their son so how long will that take? The older brother also just moved home with his wife and 2 kids for the same reason. They sold their house and want to live on the “good side of town”.
*shaking my head*


34 posted on 05/05/2013 3:04:11 PM PDT by leapfrog0202 ("the American presidency is not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery" Sarah Palin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: hal ogen
Just what kind of judgement is that? Saving for medical school. Don’t you understand nobama care is here? You’d do better to drive a cab.

LOL that's EXACTLY why I'm saving up BEFORE going into the program. By the time Obamacare is done, doctors will make crap money and high school dropouts will get kickbacks from the unions.

But...I'm not doing this for money or personal gain in this world. Doing it to build up treasure in heaven where it really counts.
35 posted on 05/05/2013 3:04:59 PM PDT by Wanderer99
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: CaptainK

I would allow it depending on the circumstances as long as there were separate bedrooms.


36 posted on 05/05/2013 3:09:35 PM PDT by Mom MD (A million people attended Obamas inauguration. 14 of them actually missed work)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

My adult daughter, her husband and their brand-new (10 days old) baby live with us. He was laid off and then let go a week before they were married, totally unexpected. He found a job fairly soon, but as an apprentice and at less than half the pay he had been getting. They were doing okay, but could not get out of the pretty bad area of town they were in, and their savings was eaten up after he lost his job. My husband and I actually asked them to move in with us, to give them time to save money for a down payment on a home. They may be here for another 2 or 3 years, but we are fine with that. Honestly, I feel blessed to have them here.


37 posted on 05/05/2013 3:23:30 PM PDT by twyn1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Wanderer99

Good on you! Study and/or work will keep my kids at home. Good kids deserve support. (Besides, your kids are going to pick out your old folks home.)


38 posted on 05/05/2013 3:31:38 PM PDT by outofsalt ("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Repeal The 17th

We had a similar experience when our daughter and her two toddlers moved in while her husband was overseas. It was beyond price to have that much grand kid time.


39 posted on 05/05/2013 3:36:50 PM PDT by Argus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

He may be paying rent, but he sure isn’t paying anywhere near what he would pay in the real world or he’d have a place of his own. A stipend is not rent, and the parents are not landlords.


40 posted on 05/05/2013 3:55:08 PM PDT by FrdmLvr (culture, language, borders)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: txrefugee
$8k $18 k PER YEAR what the hell are these people smoking. As for idiot Sam. Want a live in girlfriend, get a job to support that lifestyle.

I always told girlfriends don/t expect to be moving in to my place. First I would never live with a woman that I wasn't required to live with by law or contract. Second my mother wouldn't let me live with a woman I wasn't married to. NOW these idiots are letting their deadbeat son AND his girlfriend move into their home.

I wonder what nonprofit she works for. If I knew I would eliminate any potential donations, I wouldn't want to subsidize stupid. AND HE IS THE DIRECTOR.

41 posted on 05/05/2013 4:02:43 PM PDT by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

However, this works both ways. This relationship often evolves into their children working as servants, cooks, a laundry service, drivers and house cleaners for their parents, thus either saving their parents a lot of money, or facing great difficulty getting to medical appointments, eating poor quality microwave food, living in filth and squalor, etc.

Having adult children living with their parents may effectively extend the lives of their parents by decades.

If the children have employment beyond this, it still costs them years of not being married or having children, but gives them an opportunity to erase college debts, and save up money on the chance that they will be able to afford marriage and children, which fewer and fewer are able to afford these days.


42 posted on 05/05/2013 4:12:54 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Popman

Also, it’s not as safe for young women (young men too now days) to live alone. People are getting crazy.


43 posted on 05/05/2013 4:29:43 PM PDT by donna (Pray for revival.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

‘It makes me worry about how America is going to defend itself with so many weak-kneed, gutless adult-babies.’

The homosexuals will protect us. They and their significant others.


44 posted on 05/05/2013 4:34:12 PM PDT by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: yefragetuwrabrumuy
"This relationship often evolves into their children working as servants, cooks, a laundry service, drivers and house cleaners for their parents."

As it should be, to a certain degree.

45 posted on 05/05/2013 4:36:53 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Gone Galt, 11/07/12----No king but Christ! Don't tread on me!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican

Where is it written I must take in my kids’ bedmates?


46 posted on 05/05/2013 4:40:45 PM PDT by bgill (The problem is...no one is watching the Watch List!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MinorityRepublican
The cost of living in San Diego is crazy

Dear Ms Zahn: buy a map, lay it out on the table and look at it with your son. You will see that the USA is a very big place and 98% of it is cheaper to live in than San Diego. Empty the nest and atop indulging your overgrown baby.

47 posted on 05/05/2013 4:52:03 PM PDT by relictele
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: relictele

Atop -> stop


48 posted on 05/05/2013 4:53:35 PM PDT by relictele
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: txrefugee

A bed, maybe, but “travel and entertainment”???

Methinks that “availability” , willingness, mindset, whatever you want to call it on the part of the parents, explains it all.


49 posted on 05/05/2013 5:16:47 PM PDT by handmade
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Repeal The 17th

“These last two years of watching my grand kids grow up has been marvelous.”

Yea, there are two sides to it. I’m (we’re) glad you guys enjoyed it so much and your grandkids will always treasure their time really getting to know you guys. Congrats.

Regardless of what others say, I have that dream too. Of course I’d expect junior to work and be married (if he brings a babe in)...but with little ones, it would be great.


50 posted on 05/05/2013 5:30:37 PM PDT by BobL (Look up "CSCOPE" if you want to see something really scary)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-63 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson