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Meanwhile in San Francisco...

Scene: Marriage License counter, City Clerk’s office.

“Next.”

“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”

“Names?”

“Tim and Jim Jones.”

“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”

“Yes, we’re brothers.”

“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”

“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

“Incest?” We are not gay.”

“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”

“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.
Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve
been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you
can get married to a woman.”

“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I
have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a
woman. I want to marry Jim.”

“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us
just because we are not gay?”

“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”

“Names?”

“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”

“Who wants to marry whom?”

“We all want to marry each other.”

“But there are four of you!”

“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert,
Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves
June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that
we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that
it’s just for couples.”

“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the
constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a
marriage license!”

“All right, all right. Next.”

“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”

“In what names?”

“David Deets.”

“And the other man?”

“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”

“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”

“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to
marry the other me. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”

“That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”

18 posted on 07/01/2013 6:04:12 AM PDT by Heartlander (Practice makes perfect if you mess up a few letters)
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To: Heartlander

Since drawing the line at one man, one woman, was deemed discriminatory and bigoted,

drawing the line at two people is no less so.


28 posted on 07/01/2013 6:23:54 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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