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Whiskey Drinkers Are about to get a Crash Course in Capitalism
Townhall.com ^ | June 27, 2014 | Michael Schaus

Posted on 06/27/2014 5:26:55 PM PDT by Kaslin

Hunt down your favorite label of rye, and keep an extra bottle in your cabinet. Due to market forces beyond our control, the great whiskey drought of the 2010’s will soon be upon us. I know what you’re thinking: Is this how the apocalypse arrives? Peter Venkman probably articulated the magnitude of this news better than anyone:

Biblical Proportions

But… There is some good that will come from all this. If you happen to know a hipster liberal who looks down their nose at you, because they’re too busy sipping some obscure brand of whiskey, you might be able to conduct a little impromptu economics lesson. You might even be able to convince them that free markets are not about big-business or big profits (well… not entirely), they’re just democracy in action.

So next time you’re out at the bar, or tipping back a Templeton Old Fashioned with your Don Drapper wannabe liberal buddy (doesn’t he know Don’s a registered Republican?), whip out the headline conversation starter: “This stuff might be hard to get soon…”

Don’t get discouraged when they initially blame George Bush. It’s just a knee jerk reaction, because they assume what follows will be a rant against Democrat policies, or “big-government”. So now is when you get to surprise them by simply taking a sip of your drink, and casually blaming “big business”.

Such an utterance could yield a variety of reactions: They might quizzically raise an eyebrow, they might simply nod in smug approval of your words, or they might break out into a spontaneous Occupy Wall Street rally. Regardless of their reaction, this is exactly when you want to explain why the big-bad-businesses are about to take whiskey away from the proletariat. (Yeah… You can use that. They’ll love it.)

See, whiskey isn’t exactly a “liquid commodity”. Wait… We should start that over: Whiskey takes a while to distil. And by “a while”, we’re talking 5-20 years when you consider the aging process. As a result, “whiskey reserves” can’t exactly be increased overnight. So when distillers began the process of barreling what we are drinking today (several years ago), fickle consumers were ditching the wonderful world of rye. Cranberry and vodka, appletinis, and dirty martinis were the major focus for the average bar-goer. As a result, producers of bourbon didn’t anticipate the most recent boom to their popularity. Demand has outpaced supply by 2 to one.

In the short term, this might be bad news for consumers. Prices could go up and certain handcrafted labels will probably be harder to find. But in the long run, this will be good for the industry and the consumer. Eventually, supply will increase, demand will decrease, and the market will be flooded with whiskey. (Not as delicious as it sounds.)

Ok… Get ready. This is where you have to win over your liberal friend:

When the drought corrects itself (several years from now) things may get tough for distillers. Prices for some labels will plunge, and competition among the many brands will become cutthroat. Only the best, most loved, most widely enjoyed whiskeys will emerge from this boom and bust cycle unscathed and healthy. Which is why free markets are so democratic in nature. (Careful. At this point, their head could explode.) Democracy, after all, is simply the will of the masses; and what’s more democratic than consumers being provided with the products and services that they enjoy and demand? It’s not about “corporate Darwinism”, or “creative destruction”… It’s about businesses only surviving by giving “the people” what they want at a price they are willing to pay. Essentially, capitalism was built for the huddled masses… Not the elites.

If you have properly conveyed this message to your Manhattan-sipping liberal, one of two things will likely happen next: Either they will immediately get on their smartphone and download the unabridged version of Atlas Shrugged, or (more likely) they will roll their eyes and mutter something about “the man” rigging the system. But, hey… At least you tried.

Now, I’m serious: Go buy your whiskey; because things are going to get dry out there.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: chat
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1 posted on 06/27/2014 5:26:55 PM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

2 posted on 06/27/2014 5:31:28 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy ("Harvey Dent, can we trust him?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBsdV--kLoQ)
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To: Kaslin

Or someone will come up with a process for express whiskey. Aged 12 weeks, tastes like 12 years.


3 posted on 06/27/2014 5:31:38 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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To: Kaslin

Try this.

4 posted on 06/27/2014 5:31:46 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

The Japanese and Koreans have been doing that for years.


5 posted on 06/27/2014 5:32:30 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.)
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To: Kaslin
Peter Venkman?

6 posted on 06/27/2014 5:34:02 PM PDT by Repeal The 17th (We have met the enemy and he is us.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Pappy Van Winkle is the ultimate bourbon.


7 posted on 06/27/2014 5:35:05 PM PDT by SVTCobra03 (You can never have enough friends, horsepower or ammunition.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

You’re in Tennessee and you don’t brew your own or know a moonshiner?


8 posted on 06/27/2014 5:35:56 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Obama - The Scandal a Week President.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I have.

My current favorite is Elijah Craig.

Best bourbon I have ever had.


9 posted on 06/27/2014 5:37:40 PM PDT by sauropod (Fat Bottomed Girl: "What difference, at this point, does it make?")
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To: Kaslin

COSTCO has the best prices in the US; even beats the Military PX and Class VI prices.


10 posted on 06/27/2014 5:38:27 PM PDT by Jumper
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To: Kaslin

Rye has very low yields per pound of grain in a run. Tastes excellent, but not commercially feasible for the big guys.

If you don’t count the craft distillers, there are only 13 major distilleries in the US producing 350 labels of whiskey.

China is fueling the new demand. They finally discovered bourbon, and are now the world’s leading consumer.


11 posted on 06/27/2014 5:38:56 PM PDT by datura (We have a 2 party system. Conservatives vs Uniparty)
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To: Kaslin
Whiskey takes a while to distil. And by “a while”, we’re talking 5-20 years when you consider the aging process.

It only takes a while to distill if you consider the aging process. Acquiring a taste for the stuff right out of the still- that also may take 5-20 years, making it a wash.

Mr. niteowl77

12 posted on 06/27/2014 5:42:03 PM PDT by niteowl77 (The five stages of Progressive persuasion: lecture, nudge, shove, arrest, liquidate.)
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To: Kaslin

Ohhhh.....but us bourbon preppers saw this coming. While you were tucking away shotgun shells and that Marie Osmond freeze dried food, I was putting cases and cases of bourbon away. I put enough away that if I cut back to one bottle a day, it would last for....let’s see......carry the five.....I before E except after C.......well....a long time. And, of course, you know what goes perfect with bourbon? That’s right! Cheez Whiz! I’ve got cases of that, too.
But, I am not without heart. If you run out of bourbon, just send me a private e-mail here on Free Republic, and I’ll send you......A PHOTO OF ME DRINKING BOUBON! I’ll share my last bean with you, but the bourbon is MINE!!!


13 posted on 06/27/2014 5:46:12 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Jumper

That’s because Costco earns 95% of its profit from its membership fee. Merchandise pricing is near cost.


14 posted on 06/27/2014 5:50:35 PM PDT by Sgt_Schultze (A half-truth is a complete lie)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
Or someone will come up with a process for express whiskey. Aged 12 weeks, tastes like 12 years.

I have tasted it's counterpart. Aged 12 years, tasted like 12 days.

15 posted on 06/27/2014 5:50:42 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: Kaslin

On the good side, there will soon be more Irish whiskey available. There are currently only 4 distilleries that have been in business long enough to market Irish whiskey, but 3 more have opened since 2012, and a fourth is opening this year. Since Irish whiskey must be aged at least 3 years, there should be some new brands on the shelf starting next year.


16 posted on 06/27/2014 5:51:24 PM PDT by Hugin
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To: Kaslin

I’ve been noticing my Canadian Whiskeys haven’t been on sale for the last couple of months.


17 posted on 06/27/2014 5:53:11 PM PDT by stevio (God, guns, guts.)
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To: blueunicorn6

Now That’s a funny post!


18 posted on 06/27/2014 5:55:14 PM PDT by spankalib ("I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.")
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To: Kaslin

Whisky Galore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-rkvIEERSA


19 posted on 06/27/2014 5:55:39 PM PDT by Bobalu (What cannot be programmed cannot be physics)
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To: Hugin

Powers is plenty good and very reasonably priced.


20 posted on 06/27/2014 5:56:58 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Obama - The Scandal a Week President.)
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