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Argentina’s Javier Mascherano says he tore his anus playing against the Netherlands
O Canada.com ^ | July 11, 2014 | Ishmael N. Daro

Posted on 07/11/2014 9:08:00 AM PDT by Loyalist

Javier Mascherano’s game-saving slide tackle in Wednesday’s World Cup semifinal match came at a heavy price.

The Argentine player, who likely suffered a concussion earlier in the game, says he later tore his anus when he stopped Netherlands forward Arjen Robben’s attack late in extra time.

He shared the unfortunate news in a post-match press conference.

A rough translation of his remarks: “I do not want to be rude … I tore the anus that play. That’s why I felt so much pain””

It’s not clear whether Mascherano can (or should) play in Sunday’s final against Germany, but his stellar performance against the Dutch did not go unnoticed. The Guardian’s Michael Cox hailed the Barcelona midfielder as the “man of the match by some distance,” although the official honour went to the Argentine goalkeeper Sergio Romero for his superb performance during the penalty shootout that secured Argentina’s win.

(Excerpt) Read more at o.canada.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: anus; argentina; napl; worldcup
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To: Loyalist

Well in general it’s the coach who tears you a new ahole. Unfortunately they took that literally at Penn State.


21 posted on 07/11/2014 9:31:49 AM PDT by jwalsh07
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To: Loyalist

That’s not a headline you read every day.


22 posted on 07/11/2014 9:31:50 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Moonman62

LOL!


23 posted on 07/11/2014 9:31:56 AM PDT by SgtHooper (This is not my tag!)
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To: Loyalist

Don’t say ‘anus’. Say ‘rectum’ . . . ‘Rectum’ . . .


24 posted on 07/11/2014 9:33:21 AM PDT by Hoodat (Proverbs 29:2)
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To: Hoodat

“Rectum?”

Darned near killed him! LOL


25 posted on 07/11/2014 9:37:29 AM PDT by headsonpikes (Mass murder and cannibalism are the twin sacraments of socialism - "Who-whom?"-Lenin)
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To: immadashell

No comment! Click on my name.


26 posted on 07/11/2014 9:37:40 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: Loyalist

1st response; Exactly how does one tear ones own anus during a soccer game? 2nd response: I don’t really wanna know. 3rd response; Your Obamacare style policy is most likely to call the incident “A Pre-existing Condition. Not Covered.


27 posted on 07/11/2014 9:37:43 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: stevio

And the whole world needed to know this because? Good grief.


28 posted on 07/11/2014 9:41:19 AM PDT by Grams A (The Sun will rise in the East in the morning and God is still on his throne.)
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To: Loyalist

Excuse me, what???


29 posted on 07/11/2014 9:44:16 AM PDT by siamesecats (God closes one door, and opens another, to protect us.)
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To: Loyalist

If it’s an anal fissure, he is in severe pain. They make hemorrhoids feel like you’re being tickled.


30 posted on 07/11/2014 9:47:17 AM PDT by dainbramaged (Get out of my country now)
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To: twhitak
There are worse ways to have your anus torn.

Please don't tell me about any ways that would be better, okay?

31 posted on 07/11/2014 9:49:30 AM PDT by Quality_Not_Quantity (Liars use facts when the truth doesn't suit their purposes.)
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To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra
No comment! Click on my name.

Very deep anal-ysis!

32 posted on 07/11/2014 9:52:21 AM PDT by immadashell (The inmates are running the asylum.)
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To: Loyalist
How many Brazilian players have this injury after the butt-whupping Germany gave them?
33 posted on 07/11/2014 9:52:32 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (The IRS: either criminally irresponsible in backup procedures or criminally responsible of coverup.)
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To: Loyalist

Oh nos not Uranus!


34 posted on 07/11/2014 9:54:34 AM PDT by Empireoftheatom48 (God help the Republic but will he?)
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To: Loyalist

I think this proves soccer is a sissy sport, for sure.

And, we all know he tore his anus in another way...

That’s what the World Cup is all about.


35 posted on 07/11/2014 9:56:51 AM PDT by ifinnegan
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To: hal ogen

36 posted on 07/11/2014 9:58:35 AM PDT by Red Badger (I've posted a total of 2,759 threads and 85,158 replies...............)
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To: Loyalist

So in other words the Netherlands team tore him a new assh...no, I’m not going to go there.


37 posted on 07/11/2014 9:59:03 AM PDT by DoodleDawg
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To: hal ogen

38 posted on 07/11/2014 9:59:47 AM PDT by Red Badger (I've posted a total of 2,759 threads and 85,158 replies...............)
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To: Loyalist
"Argentina’s Javier Mascherano says he tore his anus playing against the Netherlands"

No worries! We have lots of replacements running around in DC.

39 posted on 07/11/2014 10:01:49 AM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: Loyalist

DOCTOR: “Mr. Mascherano, you have a torn anus.”

MR. MASCHERANO: “But I’m not homosexual. How did I tear my anus?”

DOCTOR: “Yes. I’m sure you’re not.”


40 posted on 07/11/2014 10:06:21 AM PDT by rlmorel ("A nation, despicable by it"s weakness, forfeits even the privilege of being neutral." A. Hamilton)
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