Man chops off his own penis after girlfriend told him he was no good in bed

Metro [UK] ^ | 23 Oct 2014 | Richard Hartley-Parkinson

[Slings and Arrows]

A jilted lover has chopped off his own penis after he was dumped by his girlfriend.

Oliver Ilic, 22, was told that he was no good in bed so it is claimed he mutilated himself then threw the remains in the bin.

He is alleged to have told doctors that he had a small appendage and cited that as the reason why his girlfriend was no use to him.

Ilic contacted emergency services when he could not stop the bleeding and was taken to hospital in the east Macedonian town town of Kocani.

Police searched his house and discovered the severed organ in a bin after it had been cut off with a single swipe from a razor blade which was also lying in the bin.

Doctors were initially unable to re-attach his penis but he was then transferred to the capital, Skopje, where it was reunited with his body following five hours of surgery.

However they said it was still too early to know if the operation would be a success and if it would ever function properly again.

Recently a 40-year-old Macedonian man chopped off his own penis then flushed it down the toilet.

[Slings and Arrows]

No Molon Labe for him!

[Yes, I know that was Leonidas of Sparta.]

[Slings and Arrows]

http://starman-soul-saver.blogspot.com/2010/12/elephant-trunk-for-penis.html

I’d post it here, but I think I’ve pressed my luck enough for one night.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Oh, man...

Yeah, I was wondering if the AM was pining for the fjords. They always kill our best off-color threads. :-P

[tumblindice]

I would be willing to bet every Krugerrand I own (if I owned any) that not a single male freeper has ever said to his significant other, in any way, shape or form,
“Start calling my meter long, King Kong dong: ‘Bushmaster’ ... or off it comes!”

[Darksheare]

Just wrong in every way.
Seriously, that’s like demolishing your house to improve a doorway.

[RichInOC]

Okay, I thought this was going to involve a date at the movies and eating his girlfriend’s Cracker Jack.

[Slings and Arrows]

Tell me about it! I don’t even bother posting bestiality stories any more.

[Veggie Todd]

Will this hurt? No, you’ll just feel a little prick.

[Slings and Arrows]

Hmmm...that works too.

[fieldmarshaldj]

That’s depressing.

[Slings and Arrows]

http://instantrimshot.com/

[Slings and Arrows]

Be strong.

[fieldmarshaldj]

I mean, with all the stories that get posted about Democrats on FR, what’s another one about a little prick ?

[Veggie Todd]

Rimshot? Well, without Mr. Johnson, that’s about all he can do now, right?

[Slings and Arrows]

Something tells me that Stubby ain’t exactly a long-term thinker.

[Slings and Arrows]

Is Robert Reich back in the news?

[Veggie Todd]

Gloom, despair, agony on me ....

Well, Hee Haw to you to! LOL

[Slings and Arrows]

Response self-censored, but involved liquor.

[hosepipe]

No doubt about it....... that really don’t suck... WAIT!..

[fieldmarshaldj]

No, it seems my search for him has come up short.