Posted on 12/04/2014 11:42:28 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
[full title] Look at the Tea Party: Some of the angriest, most hateful people on earth, and theyre backed by what they think is Scripture
Forgiveness has become a pursuit more important to me than almost anything. Because as I said in an old book, its not my strong suit. I always joke that I wasnt one of those Christians who was heavily into forgiveness that I was the other kind; that I was reform. But its so awful to be a person who doesnt forgive; in my experience the willingness to change down deep always comes from the pain of not changing.
About 20 years ago, when my son started school, I realized I was holding grudges and resentment, sometimes against the other mothers. They might be too thin, or they might flaunt their wealth, or flaunt that their child was already reading in first grade. It took a lot of work to stick with the unpacking of the resentment to realize that it was always about self-loathing most of these people in the trajectory of the drones I fired were pretty innocent bystanders. The lack of forgiveness had to do with really bad old feelings I had about myself. The [others] were just conveniently annoying. They might say something really stupid about me or my son, and I would seize on it a like a dog with a bone throw it over my shoulder and chase it and fling it over the other side of the room and chase it down. It wouldnt have affected me if there hadnt been that age-old contempt a lot of us can still find in ourselves. The mix of self-contempt and grandiosity.
So I began a tradition, at that point, of examining these resentments I had so much trouble letting go of. Sometimes its just a bad day. In some ways, I had a bad 20s, because I was still drinking and not really able to do the kind of psychic and spiritual and psychological work of looking through the mess, to find what Id been lugging around in my backpack for years. I started the tradition at about 40, of being watchful instead of reactive.
I really believe that earth is forgiveness school I really believe thats why they brought us here, and then left us without any owners manual. I think were here to learn forgiveness. For me, it all begins with the hardest work of all, of being so crazily imperfect, and so sensitive and thin-skinned, and looking the way I look instead of like Cate Blanchett, which is disappointing. And all of the things we internalize in our younger years that other people might have said or hinted or even bullied us for.
To forgive someone is the hardest work we do. Ive had to be disciplined about it. I always say Im so disciplined in my writing because very strict discipline is the only way Ive found any freedom as an artist. Like meditation or in my spiritual journey, or exercise hiking you never want to do any hard work you just want to watch MSNBC and eat miniature Kit-Kats. Believe me, thats what Id prefer to do. Or maybe try to catch up with old issues of the New Yorker. But in my work, I hold an imaginary pop gun to my head, and I sit down and my butt stays in the chair no matter what.
Not forgiving makes you toxic. And then you really have very little to offer your family or the world or your audience, because youre faking it.
The victory in [my new book] Small Victories is forgiveness its the hardest thing we do. Half of the stories, which took so long for me to write and get right, are about that predicament of that clenched, clutched feeling when we dont forgive. And then that miracle of grace, like a spiritual WD-40, that gets into the very stuck, grinding places inside of us. Ive had to forgive both of my parents for very major injuries. Through the years, and even since theyve been dead just because someone dies doesnt mean theyre off the hook. You carry it inside because theres an injury inside. My son and I wrote a book together called Some Assembly Required, and he said something in there: If someone forgives you, they have found the willingness to feel awful again, and to re-experience the injury you did to them. And then to find something greater than themselves that lets them say Goodbye, lets be done. And I hear your apology, your contrition, and I forgive you. That to me is so amazing. Maybe the most amazing thing is when somebody forgives me for a serious injury Ive done them.
All wisdom traditions have at their root three basic ideas: To take care of the poor, to cultivate a sense of presence or union with a power much greater than ourselves, and to soften the heart. In the fullness of those traditions as opposed to the fundamentalist version of those traditions you dont hit back. For me as a Christian, the two main things are youre supposed to let go and let God, and youre supposed to turn the other cheek. Those two things are like my two worst realms. People are always saying, Let go and let God and I just want to stab them. People say, We just need to forgive and forget. As if they had.
The more public I am, the more people I talk to, the more I realize that Id been comparing my insides to peoples outsides. And peoples insides are all the same amount of screwed-up-idness People are very hurt, theyre very scared for their families, theyre keening deep down for what happened to them as children. Sometimes with truly awful families, sometimes with a culture that only values beauty or fitting in and a meritocracy. And people who were shunned by their families because of fundamentalism or because of who they loved. I find out everybodys in the same boat. And writings my way of figuring things out. People feel troubled and sad and overwhelmed by the amount of pain theyre carrying. Look at the Tea Party, for instance some of the angriest, most hateful people on earth, and theyre backed by what they think is the Scripture. The Scripture is 180 degrees away from that.
The other night I did a big event, and someone asked what I hope people there left with. And I said, I hope people realize that were infinitely more similar, more alike, than we are different that were all angry, no matter how sweet or Buddhist or Christian or tender-hearted we appear. Were all angry. And weve got to deal with it at some point. And dealing with the grief and the anger and the lack of forgiveness is the way home.
A tradition of that is something Ive been able to pass on to my son. Hes grown up with a mother whos willing to be contrite, to get to the bottom of things and to see that sometime its me who Ive been mad at. The tradition of letting your children watch you ask for forgiveness is beautiful.
Well lets see, this pretty much places her right along side John McCain, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and the whole GOPe doesn’t it.
I was just wondering whom we’re “angry” at and “hateful” towards,
besides politicians who seek to control everything about our lives and livelihoods.
Why do you keep reading Salon articles ? It cannot be good for you.
I thought the Left regards the Tea Party as irrelevant to politics like they do Sarah Palin! Yet they continue to live rent-free in the demented, twisted, and tortured minds of collectivists 24/7.
After the Tea Party started looting and burning buildings we lost all credibility....oh wait.
Thank you for posting this. I want to read what the scuttle-but is, even if it doesn’t conform to my point of view.
It’s out there folks. Deal with it.
I didn’t realize that a group called Taxed Enough Already is a religious group. This author is an ostrich with her head firmly planted in the sand.
[Somehow I missed the humor in her piece. I guess she saves it for her speaking tour gigs.]
“.....Anne Lamott does communicate her faith; in her books and in person, she lifts, comforts, and inspires, all the while keeping us laughing.”....
http://barclayagency.com/lamott.html
Let’s see....I’m betting her son is homosexual and she hasn’t seen his father in years.
Now that’s funny!
Some people celebrate their own neuroses as if it were an accomplishment.
I have an "owner's manual"at my house, I read it every day. Too bad that the author doesn't have one. They are available for free from the Gideons.
This is who every liberal is. A vicious, lying thug who will destroy you any way they can.
What she needs is Jesus. We cannot forgive others and ourselves without knowing in our bones that He has forgiven us. He died for us. Without the peace of God’s love she will always flounder. She is not alone.
Members of the Tea Party are not perfect they are human. We all sin, none are perfect. True Tea Party Patriots are defenders and fighters for freedom. She does not see what she does not want to see.
Sometimes we write people off too easily, while there is life there is a hope to know God. She may be on that journey, pray for her.
“most hateful people on earth”
Funny, not as hateful as ISIS. No dead bodies lying around. No arson like Ferguson.
I have to see progressives up close - it’s sort of an anthropology itch. There are so many over educated mental midgets lecturing and teaching. I picture them engaged in heavy thought at small dinner parties, where they discuss people they don’t know but righteously tear them apart and everyone at the table nods in agreement. Just so weird, so small minded, so angry. Progressives have honed the politics of personal destruction and they always have it at the ready.
SELF ABSORBED INDEED!
Her diatribe contains:
10 “Me”’s
43 “I”’s
15 “My”’s
1 “Myself”’s
I don’t know a single person who spews such cloying, insincere, headache-inducing BS - not one.
To the writer’s point that we are alike deep down. No we are not.
But do you forgive yourself for having read it?
You know, that whole screwedupidness inside thingy?
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