Posted on 03/27/2016 2:22:46 PM PDT by Kaslin
The National Enquirer should retract their outlandish story that Sen. Ted Cruz had affairs with five women outside the bonds of his holy matrimony.
After this incredible and scandalous story broke, I was personally so outraged and disgusted that I did just like a candidate would do and hired a very expensive and classy research firm to do a poll.
It was time to make America not just great again, but time for all Americans to know: Was Ted great in bed?
The nationwide survey showed that the truth is much more shocking even than the allegation that Ted had five lovers.
Tragically, pollsters could not find one woman in the United States, Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, the U.S. Virgin Islands or American Samoa who wants to have sex with Ted Cruz.
Even the high-priced D.C. call girl alluded to in the Enquirer story immediately gave up sex, fired her answering service and sued her madam for creating a hostile work environment just for sending her out Cruising. “I thought my booker said Tom Cruise!” Mistress X told a source. “Imagine my horror when a man opened the door dressed as an apostle!”
(Excerpt) Read more at nydailynews.com ...
Only if the rats dress up like a judge though.
THAT was my reaction, too!
I was like that too, until I remembered Anthony Wiener, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Gary Heart.....
Cruz was confident this would never become public because no woman would ever admit to it and no one would ever believe it if they did.
So true. Henry Kissinger had a ton of women chasing him around back in the day. Not exactly the image of a handsome stud!
I thought the same thing about Trump, but it’s amazing what billions od dollars will get you.
The unasked question is “How big are they? (Cruz’s hands)
All the #cubanmistresscrisis memes you need to see in one place:
http://heavy.com/news/2016/03/ted-cruz-sex-scandal-katrina-pierson-donald-trump-best-funny-memes/3/
Linda has not talked to Amanda Carter
See response #25. This guy was a worldwide babe hound in his time. Ol’ Henry said the truth.
Obviously, Heidi had sexual relations with him, at least twice, so perhaps there ARE women out there who also would.
Control the players via blackmail.
Long time history of being used to control politicians, traitors etc.
Very revealing election this time.
Enough said.
An egomaniac versus a megalomaniac who are prolly both suffering from satyriasis which prolly ain’t suffering but as the only two left we have to suffer them.
Who to vote for?
Ted “dipstick” Cruz?
OR
Donald “dipschtick” Trump?
I prolly hadn’t lose any sleep over it and trust my voting machine will make the right choice.
She’s a lefty!
Maybe they were paid by the CIA to get some leverage?
Based on his new hires and some of his opinions lately, it sure seems so.
I suggested ugly Ted needed to use drugs to get these 5 women, and a wacko went bezerk. He is an ugly dude, I don’t see women voluntarily hooking up with him except his wife.
keyboard spew alert
Restrooms??? I had heard about the closet but not the bathroom. Yeewww....
Bunt of course they aren’t trying to be the next Valerie Jarrett
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