Would it still be a hate crime?
“New, from Demco: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime!
“We’ve all been there, something bad happens and mean Republicans, pro-lifers, the NRA gun nuts or homophobic haters point out that it was perpetrated by minorities, homosexuals, transgender persons, or one of those wonderful Muslims.
“What is a progressive to do?
“Why, with new I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime you can push their tiresome, boring rants far, far away!
“Just apply I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime to your rectum like so and it’s patented politically correct recipe strongly attracts the skin of you scalp ...” (Voice now muffled) “... and now you’ll have no problem realizing who is really responsible for whatever goes wrong!”
(fast speaking voice)
“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime has no known side effects you cannot blame on bad people. If you start to feel uncomfortable simply apply more I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime and discomfort will fade. Reports of users disappearing up their own asses are muckraking rumors spread by crypto-fascists,who are you going to believe anyway?”
(muffled announcer voice again)
“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hate Crime, available on school campuses and from druggist nation wide!”