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The Tedious, Tiresome Mendacity of Obama and the Gun Banners
Original Material | 7/24/2016 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 07/24/2016 8:04:18 AM PDT by Lazamataz

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To: Tax-chick
n your climatic paragraph, where you’ve linked the reports of various recent mass shootings, I think you need a stronger applause-line than, “Obama goes to guns.” “Goes” is a lousy verb.

Actually, this is a particular phrase where I would invoke Author's Privilege. I like this phrase. It has cadence. Goes/Guns. I feel it is one of the standout phrases. If you were the editor and I was the website author, I'd overrule you on this one, or attempt to. :)

61 posted on 07/24/2016 2:58:43 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Lazamataz

Okay. It does have alliteration.


62 posted on 07/24/2016 2:59:21 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("How sad for civilization." ~ hal ogen)
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To: Tax-chick
You are far above average. You are interesting!

Fine, but am I *sexy*?

63 posted on 07/24/2016 2:59:38 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Lazamataz

And now I’m going to the pool.


64 posted on 07/24/2016 3:00:51 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("How sad for civilization." ~ hal ogen)
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To: Lazamataz

I’m the wrong person to ask about that.


65 posted on 07/24/2016 3:01:13 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("How sad for civilization." ~ hal ogen)
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To: Tax-chick
The sentences tend to be very convoluted, and you’ve gone overboard with the adverbs.

In retrospect, you are right. I need to structure up sentence my tighten.

66 posted on 07/24/2016 3:02:00 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Tax-chick

Proper answer: “If one considers intelligence a turn on, sure.”

I can give you some smooth-lessons in exchange for your grammar and composition help. :)


67 posted on 07/24/2016 3:03:40 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Tax-chick

PS: I joke around a lot, but I sincerely appreciate your no-holds-barred honest assessments. It surely shall improve me, as an author.


68 posted on 07/24/2016 3:10:31 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Lazamataz
Hi, Mr. Mataz. We always enjoy your posts here at the Lab. Since you are soliciting feedback on your writing, we offer some corrections & suggestions to increase your essay's persuasiveness.

P1 – Dylann Roof (may his name be obliterated from all history) (not Dillon Root) (Dillon Root played football for Fresno State.)

P2 – whose anger (not who's anger); compliant . . . (not complaint) press

P3 – sequence . . . has become (not have); nature . . . ID . . . discovery . . . have (not has)

P4 – NYT . . . fall (not fell) firmly; gun-ban camp (hyphenated adjective); Better: NYT . . . they unsurprisingly are firmly (they were never pro-2A; no event or rhetoric pushed them off a perch to fall into a camp of different opinion)

P5 – motives (not inspirations; motive implies criminality; inspiration implies virtue); . . . blames guns (not goes to guns)

P6 – without mentioning the murderers' motives (not "with no mention to the motivations"; call murder out for what it is)

P8 – completely illegally (not "in a completely illegal fashion")

P10 – Einstein famously defined insanity as repeating (not doing) the same experiment but expecting different results. (Other, clinical definitions exist.) The Lab is on a mission to expunge "do" – the lamest, laziest, least descriptive transitive verb – from English.

P11 – repeatedly (not over and over)

Separately, your nick spelled backward is zatamazal = Zat A. Mazal ~ Crude, incorrect, but effective Yiddish for Oy! My bad luck!

Please add me to your ping list, but not yet to your Rage Monkey ping list. Our deep rage reservoir is forming a meniscus here.

69 posted on 07/24/2016 3:25:51 PM PDT by goldbux (When you're odd the odds are with you.)
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To: goldbux; Tax-chick

YOU GUYS ROCK

Before I take editorials public, out to the conservative media, I intend to vet them here....

So people — PEOPLE LIKE YOU — who know far more about proper English than I do, can review them.

THANK YOU BOTH


70 posted on 07/24/2016 3:28:45 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: Lazamataz; ActresponsiblyinVA

“Band guns”

“I remember this one time in Band Camp....”

Somehow we must find the strength to stop guns from banding together and killing people. The first step is to pass a new law forbidding more than two guns in one place at one time. Don’t talk to me about the right to assemble peacefully, when have guns ever assembled for peaceful purposes? I tell you these gun bands must not be allowed to roam all over this country wreaking havoc and reeking of Haddock. Next thing you know they will get together with the Roses and we’ll all be Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door or somewhere much worse. No American should be shot dead while smelling a rose. Vote for George Clinton to stop gun band violence.


71 posted on 07/24/2016 3:36:35 PM PDT by RipSawyer (Racism is racism, regardless of the race of the racist.)
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To: Lazamataz; Tax-chick

Glad to help.


72 posted on 07/24/2016 4:10:42 PM PDT by goldbux (When you're odd the odds are with you.)
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To: Lazamataz

bkmk


73 posted on 07/24/2016 4:52:23 PM PDT by sauropod (Beware the fury of a patient man. I've lost my patience!)
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To: Lazamataz

You’re always welcome to my advice, which you are free to take or leave. Also, you’re much more fun than most people.


74 posted on 07/24/2016 5:26:04 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("How sad for civilization." ~ hal ogen)
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To: Tax-chick

I take a lot of your suggestions. I shall rewrite and repost on this thread for further suggestions...


75 posted on 07/24/2016 5:47:32 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Islamics kill people because they are sick of being called violent! They are tired of Islamophobia!)
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To: skimbell

“The GG’s are nothing if not persistent, and that is exactly what we need. Every week we should have pro 2A representatives/senators introducing pro gun legislation.”

I concur. Anyone representing conservatives should not only be “busy defending our rights”, they should get busy RESTORING our rights.


76 posted on 07/24/2016 7:05:24 PM PDT by Blue Collar Christian (Broom Hillary MUST be stopped.)
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To: Lazamataz

“Gun control” is just a dog whistle. It makes the right people jump the right way at suitable times. Notice that the Left never actually does anything about it when they can; ever since the federal AWB fiasco, it’s only brought up to rally the troops and demonize the opposition.

They don’t want gun control.
They want votes.


77 posted on 07/24/2016 7:43:33 PM PDT by ctdonath2 ("If anyone will not listen to your words, shake the dust from your feet and leave them." - Jesus)
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To: Lazamataz
I remember this one time in Band Camp ____________________________________ LOL! Would you please add me to this ping list? ☺
78 posted on 07/25/2016 3:13:26 AM PDT by proud American in Canada (God bless the United States of America)
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To: Haiku Guy

That’s a great idea! Two votes for the price of one, so to speak.

One of the things I’ve been wanting to do is go to a shooting range. It seems like it would be a lot of fun.


79 posted on 07/25/2016 3:22:29 AM PDT by proud American in Canada (God bless the United States of America)
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To: Lazamataz; Tax-chick

You do not suck!

This was a very insightful editorial that you should submit, with TC’s edits, to USA Today or some other mass market outlet...it needs to be seen, because it is absolutely true.


80 posted on 07/25/2016 3:29:15 AM PDT by proud American in Canada (God bless the United States of America)
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