Who here has served on jury duty and has a good excuse to get off?

me ^ | Feb. 6, 2002 | me

[screed]

I was called to appear for a civil trial where these parents were being sued because a third party (one of the neighbor kids) shot the plaintiffs kid in the eye with a BB gun while at the defendents home.

I'm an opinionated hardline right-winger. All I did was give them my honest opinions regarding accepting personal responsibility, trial lawyers in general and how our constitutional rights are more endangered by the Judicial branch of government than any other source of hostility toward the constitution, including the Democrat party.

[strela]

I've been summoned 5 times but never made it past voir dire. I've been excused by the defense 4 times. I would like to serve on at least one jury just to see what it is like, but no luck yet.

Must be the suit and tie ...

[spunkets]

"Any good one liners?"

Consider it's your own ass in the fire.

[Newbomb Turk]

(prospective juror) Your honor I can't possibly miss two weeks of work.

(Judge) Can't they do without you at work for 2 weeks?

(Juror) Yes they can, but I sure don't want them to find that out.

[speekinout]

We also have a "one day or one trial" jury system. Furthermore, 85% of all trials last for less than one day. And if you show up for service, you won't be called again for another 3 years at a minimum.
It's painless, and it does encourage more people to serve. I went. I didn't get picked for any trial, and I was dismissed by 1 pm.
I would have been happy to actually serve on a jury; our system depends on having competent jurors. We all know what happens when the jury pool is limited to people with an agenda. One of the reasons that none of the clintoon criminals were ever tried is because they would have to be tried in a DC court where the available jurors are known to have an agenda that doesn't include seeing justice done.

[Dinsdale]

As an engineer, I hope your employee got a job for more money working for your competition, and took all your 'trade secrets' with him. You should be ashamed of yourself. Check his non-disclosure/non-compete. I always sign 'Don't Agree' and have never been caught.

Does your hair have points?

[SAMWolf]

Tell them you're a firm believer in Jury Nullification.

[stlrocket]

Don't send in an excuse - just send in this picture!

Explain that you are in the middle of an "Hands on Training" course which just can't be interrupted! (New type of keyboard!)

EVEN THEY WILL EXCUSE YOU!

[Dick Bachert]

Sorry, pal -- no help from here.

Because folks like us find ways to weasel out of this VITAL aspect of citizenship, juries today are composed largely of morons, government employees, government school teachers and the unemployed.

Picture YOURSELF in the dock facing 6 or 12 people not smart enough to know how to get out of jury duty!

DO IT! If nothing else, it'll be a real eye-opener as to how the system REALLY works -- and it'll scare hell out of you.

[dogbyte12]

My biggest problem with jury duty is the waste of time aspect of it. They are so slow to actually do anything, that I feel my time would be better spent doing something else.

I have never even gotten on a trial the three times I got called up, 2 times never even getting into a court room, the third time, the jury was selected before my number came up.

What ticked me off was all the times I was called in in the morning, sat for 2 hours, was told to take a 2-3 hour lunch, return and then sat for another hour or 2 and dismissed home. I wanted to be on a jury then, I don't now.

Ideally, they should run the system more efficiently. I don't know if anybody else shares this sentiment, but sitting around for a week staring at a 13" tv mounted into the ceiling showing day time soaps is not my idea of civic duty.

[2Fro]

I have served several times and rather enjoyed most of it. Last time was as an alternate juror for a gang murder a couple of years ago. About four days a week for six weeks. Some disgustingly untruthful and unsavory witnesses. Learned lotsa new language. We learned it was a re-trial, after a hung jury in the first trial. Defendant was found innocent, mostly because of weak prosecution case and lousy presentation.

My wife was a prospective juror a few years ago in a grisly civil case involving a bomb that severely deformed an innocent bystander. She could not stand the plaintiff's attorney. She wanted not to serve but had insufficently legal cause to be excused. So she glared constantly at the plaintiff's attorney, and nodded agreement with the comments by the defendant's attorney. She was the third one excused without cause by the paintiff's attorney. In turn, she smiled at him constantly when leaving the courtroom.

[Nachum]

Exactly. They have done the same to me already.

[Jean S]

Where does it say the state has the power to forcibly "draft" citizens to serve?

It doesn't. I consider it a privilege to take advantage of the rights given to me by the U.S. Constitution. Obviously, you do not.

[FR_addict]

It is if you are self-employed or looking for a job. I would have loved to serve when I had a job with a large company.

[Capriole]

I have an excuse that's foolproof. I wish, however, that I didn't have to be truthful and use it, because I'd like to serve on a jury!

My excuse is this: when they ask if anyone among the jury pool has had a run-in with law enforcement, I have to admit truthfully to the judge that my ex is the subject of a federal investigation that makes what Ken Starr did look like a traffic stop, and that I have had the pleasure of entertaining the FBI and officers from the Inspector General while they interrogated me about criminal activities my ex engaged in years after we parted. I've also had the joy of hearing them subtly suggest that they'd nail me on obstruction charges if I didn't tell them a lot of stuff I had no way of knowing. This usually gets me excused.

Life in Washington--it's never boring.

[Jean S]

My husband and I are self-employed. We have a very small business - carpentry contracting. We pay for our own health insurance, we pay double for social security, we have no sick pay, no vacation pay, no pension.

We would gladly serve on a jury and lose the income.

[OldEagle]

The USA Trial-by-Jury system is unique in the free world. Just think of it. Your future is decided by twelve people who were too stupid to get out of jury duty.

[2Fro]

You over-estimate the value of my stupidity!

[Dale 1]

I’ve served on a grand jury and as a regularly jurist. I listened to several folks trying to get out of doing their duty. In both cases I noticed that judges seem to be insensitive to lame excuses. If you really want to get out of serving, just show-up drunk or on drugs.

Why not just do you civic duty instead? I have wonderful memories of my attendance with the grand jury and as a jury member. You will too!