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Missing Danielle Parents Allegedly Swingers
Larry King Live ^ | Brenda & Damon Van Dam

Posted on 02/11/2002 5:06:42 PM PST by Petronski

Larry asked them about it just now on Larry King Live (2-11-2), and they refused to deny it.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: libertarians
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1 posted on 02/11/2002 5:06:43 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
I'm a little unclear about what is meant by 'swingers." Are they talking about wife swapping?

King says it was all over 'swinger' chat rooms and had bubbled up into local press...Bizarre.

2 posted on 02/11/2002 5:08:14 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
Wow... I had heard that 1940s music was making a comeback... oh... never mind... btw, who's Danielle????
3 posted on 02/11/2002 5:09:12 PM PST by Chad Fairbanks
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To: Chad Fairbanks
The little girl missing in California. Larry King just confronted them about whether one can have an alternate lifestyle and still be good parents.

Like I said, it was bizarre, and I wanted to know if anyone else has information about this.

4 posted on 02/11/2002 5:10:22 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
Their sexual tastes may not be mine; but my question is this

"The wife claimed to have come home at 2:30am from a night of partying. The alarm was then 'on' and the back door was open. They did not think anything of that, they shut the back door, and the daughter's door. Then they ordered pizza. What pizza place either delivers, or is open at 3am?

5 posted on 02/11/2002 5:10:35 PM PST by Hodar
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To: Petronski
Does this mean the husband might have been in the closet watching ? Did a partner take a detour to the childs room for some perveted sex while parents were too stoned ?
6 posted on 02/11/2002 5:10:45 PM PST by VRWC_minion
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To: Petronski
Whose Danielle? And why do you watch Larry King instead of O'Reilly?
7 posted on 02/11/2002 5:10:55 PM PST by Rodney King
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To: VRWC_minion
What a scummy lifestyle to lead, especially with three young children in the family.
8 posted on 02/11/2002 5:11:55 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
She said that she brought people back to the house from a bar at 2:30 a.m. And her husband has said that he was asleep by 10:00. Too many weird things here. The wife goes to a bar without her husband present. She brings people back from the bar into her home. At 2:30 a.m. While her husband and her children are asleep. Ew....
9 posted on 02/11/2002 5:12:38 PM PST by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: Rodney King
I turned to CNN to find out about this Double alert, and heard King ask them if they were swingers...
10 posted on 02/11/2002 5:13:04 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
On Gibson's show on FOX tonight, the reporter was skating around this issue, saying that the parents marriage was now an issue, but she refused to comment further until FOX had confirmed what she wouldn't say. Didn't sound good.
11 posted on 02/11/2002 5:13:23 PM PST by mewzilla
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To: Petronski
Ok... hadn't heard about this... hope the kid is ok - when momma brings home strangers from a bar while hubby is asleep, ya DO gotta wonder what kind of parents they are...
12 posted on 02/11/2002 5:14:05 PM PST by Chad Fairbanks
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To: mewzilla
Is it too wild or unfairly wild to expect that the police might be picking suspects from among their, uh, liaisons-swappees-whatever?
13 posted on 02/11/2002 5:14:55 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
I wonder if this exposed their daughter to her assailant.
14 posted on 02/11/2002 5:15:23 PM PST by NC_Libertarian
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To: grlfrnd
My first wife was an alcholic. This kind of behavior would not have been unusual for her. (If she didn't crash her car first)
15 posted on 02/11/2002 5:15:32 PM PST by VRWC_minion
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To: Petronski
I had also heard that the suspect neighbor was at the bar where Mom was, and they danced together the night Danielle disappeared. These are weird people. Danielle was never safe.
16 posted on 02/11/2002 5:16:48 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: NC_Libertarian
It would be better if they had been tied to a millstone and thrown into the see, I think, than for them to have brought their child's assailant into their home for the sake of some quickie swinging tryst.

God help that little girl.

17 posted on 02/11/2002 5:17:01 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
whoops: see=sea (shoulda typed ocean...)
18 posted on 02/11/2002 5:18:33 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Petronski
Wasn't the mom at the same bar as the suspect at one point that evening? Maybe I misunderstood this. Someone please correct me if I'm mistaken. If true, I thought that that was very weird.
19 posted on 02/11/2002 5:19:05 PM PST by mewzilla
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To: Petronski
Fox news reported tonight that they were alleged swingers. If this is true, the types of people that get involved with this type of lifestyle are unsavory. Their little girl was just like a sitting duck.
20 posted on 02/11/2002 5:21:19 PM PST by MsLady
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To: Petronski
Maybe I'm turning liberal or something, but it seems a little cruel that their sexual habits are becoming fair game for the whole damn world while they are also having to deal with a missing and possible dead child.
21 posted on 02/11/2002 5:22:31 PM PST by murdoog
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That changed once Shep came on.
22 posted on 02/11/2002 5:23:06 PM PST by MsLady
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To: MsLady
I think it's a valid question to ask if the little girl might have been part of some of the "swinging" arrangements, too. The neighbor reportedly had child porn when they searched his house. The neighbor was reportedly friends with the family, and supposedly danced with the girl's mother during the bar crawling event that night. Who else that the parents brought in to their house might have wanted the daughter instead of the mother? Sick.
23 posted on 02/11/2002 5:24:21 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: ValerieUSA
I've been wondering if the guy stole her keys at the bar, and got into the house at some point, maybe leaving out the sliding glass door if someone woke up or was coming home through the front door. Just a thought.
24 posted on 02/11/2002 5:24:54 PM PST by Canticle_of_Deborah
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To: murdoog
I disagree, Murdoog. If they're not cautious about the people they have their "sex habits" with, they put these wee ones at risk.
25 posted on 02/11/2002 5:25:54 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: murdoog
It's not so much there lifestyle as it is the type of people that get involved with it. What do you think the likelihood of them getting involved with a major pervert would be? Say compared to the average committed married couple?
26 posted on 02/11/2002 5:26:21 PM PST by MsLady
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To: mewzilla
From the San Diego Union Tribune:

Parents becoming focus of public's interest in case
By Bruce Lieberman and Preston Turegano
February 9, 2002

All week, media across the nation buzzed about the abduction of a child from her bedroom in northern San Diego.

Danielle van Dam is still missing, but by yesterday the public's attention was shifting to the girl's parents, as accusations and talk-radio diatribes threatened to drown out news of the investigation.

The founder of a group that posted a $10,000 reward for Danielle's safe return suggested the police investigate her family. Radio talk-show conversations questioned the lifestyle of Brenda and Damon van Dam; television and newspaper reporters began asking them about it.

The Internet has been teeming with messages about Danielle and her parents. While some come to the van Dams' defense, the bulk are angry with the parents, and many of the messages are mean-spirited. They address everything from rumors of the parents' lifestyle to their statements that they didn't check on their children after a door was found open at night.

The van Dams, who discovered their 7-year-old daughter missing from her bed a week ago today, became household names almost overnight as they made the rounds of national television shows, pleading for Danielle's return.

They have used the reach of the Internet to ask for help in finding her. A Web site set up by neighbors provides a downloadable poster of the child and asks viewers to distribute it as widely as possible.

The shift in the response to the van Dams ? from sympathetic to nasty ? was swift as the couple tried in vain to keep the focus on the search for their daughter.

A family spokeswoman said the van Dams would not comment yesterday about the flurry of allegations.

One of the most outspoken critics was Douglas Pierce, who only days before posted a $10,000 reward for Danielle's return. Pierce, who describes his group, the Millennium Children's Fund, as a nonprofit advocacy group for abused children, said he was disturbed by what he saw during his eight hours in the van Dam home Wednesday.

He felt the parents lacked emotion, and said he was put off by what he described as their repeated rehearsals before facing the media.

The van Dams and several advisers plan what the parents say and how they look on television and in newspapers, Pierce said. "They were talking about their makeup and how they look in the camera," he added.

Pierce said the van Dams' two sons, 5 and 10, should be taken from the home while police search for Danielle.

Although he found no evidence to believe the van Dams are tied directly to their daughter's disappearance, Pierce said he decided to ask for outside protection for the children after observing the family, its public-relations team and a journal entry by Danielle that he said suggested conflict with her father.

Pierce said he was shocked when Brenda van Dam showed him Danielle's journal. " 'Daddy, please forgive me,' " Pierce said one entry read. " 'Daddy please love me. Danielle.' "

"After my personal observation, I'm asking for a wake-up call from the San Diego Police Department to investigate the family," Pierce said.

Pierce's comments enraged the van Dams.

"Douglas Pierce is some kind of freak who came into our house," Damon van Dam told a Los Angeles radio station Thursday. He called Pierce "evil."

"He is trying to start trouble for us," Brenda van Dam said. "We did not invite him into our house."

A few days ago, the van Dams began to get questions on television about their private life. Delicate questions became pointed yesterday when San Diego radio talk-show host Rick Roberts criticized the van Dams on the air for "not being honest" about "what really occurred" the night their daughter disappeared.

Roberts told his listeners that a "reliable" source "high in law enforcement" said the van Dams have engaged in "lots of wife-swapping." Saying he believes the source, Roberts reported activity by the van Dams on the night of Feb. 1 dramatically different from their description to the news media.

Roberts repeated his source's allegations for four hours, interrupted mainly by callers angry at the van Dams.

During a break in his 3-to-7 p.m. show on KFMB-AM 760 titled "The Court of Public Opinion," Roberts told The San Diego Union-Tribune he decided to go public with what his source told him because the van Dams' two young sons remain at home and "may be exposed to the couple's lifestyle."

When asked if he thought his comments were slanderous or unethical, Roberts said: "No, not at all. This is not a court of law. It's a court of public opinion. If anyone thinks they're slanderous, they can subpoena me."

Roberts said he told his program director he intended to disclose the source's information and that the director did not object.

Ed Trimble, president and chief operating officer of KFMB-TV and radio, could not be reached for comment after the show.

27 posted on 02/11/2002 5:27:20 PM PST by Petronski
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To: golitely
Very sick. It's one thing if you want to live that type of lifestyle. But, if you have kids, your just asking for real trouble.
28 posted on 02/11/2002 5:28:46 PM PST by MsLady
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To: murdoog
Maybe I'm turning liberal or something, but it seems a little cruel that their sexual habits are becoming fair game for the whole damn world while they are also having to deal with a missing and possible dead child.

Perhaps, unless their sexual habits endangered their daughter.

29 posted on 02/11/2002 5:29:29 PM PST by NC_Libertarian
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To: murdoog
Danielle Missing.Com

Missing Girl's Family Offers $25,000 Reward - No Sign Of Danielle, No Arrests

This story has links to earlier ones, including one for Feb 9:

Police: Westerfield Had Child Porn

Westerfield is the neighbor possible-suspect in the girl's disappearance.

My bet is the parents private lives had nothing to do with this.

30 posted on 02/11/2002 5:29:51 PM PST by Shermy
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To: Petronski
Any husband who swaps his wife around (whether it's his idea or hers, whether she agrees or not) does not have the depth of emotional attachment I would expect from a good parent. These people are starting to seem very creepy.
31 posted on 02/11/2002 5:30:27 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Hodar
I saw her in an earlier interview. She said it was leftover pizza. Just remembering from my party days ( I outgrew them ) that bringing the gang to your place for an "afters" continuation of the festivities for only half an hour seems odd.
32 posted on 02/11/2002 5:31:06 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: Hodar
Ok, it's even more peculiar than that.

One of the people the mother was at the bar with was a neighbor. The neighbor also accompanied the mother back to her house.

After everyone left, the neighbor loaded up in a motor home and spent the weekend driving first out to the desert, then to the beach, then back to the desert.

The neighbor's house was searched shortly after he arrived back home, and unspecified amounts of child pornography were removed.

The police have taken his motor home to search for DNA evidence that the girl may have been inside it, and have searched areas of the desert and beach where he claims to have spent the weekend.

Now, I'm not saying it's not plausible, because obviously this guy did it, but I find it strange that a guy who says he needed to get away for the weekend and be alone would spend the whole night before he left, drinking in a bar and following his neighbor home for continued partying after the bar closed. It seems strange.

The mother has taken and passed a polygraph. The police will not comment on the father or the neighbor taking one, which makes me think that they probably haven't, or the results weren't squeaky clean. Applying Occam's Razor makes me tend to believe the father and this neighbor are somehow involved.

33 posted on 02/11/2002 5:32:03 PM PST by JavaTheHutt
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To: Petronski
When someone says their child went missing during the night, I think to myself, "What is wrong with this picture?"

My children's windows were shut and the doors locked. There wouldn't have been a chance for anyone to get at them without my wife and I knowing. I considered that to be my responsibility!

What is it with these people that their children can be taken without them having the slightest idea until the next morning? I felt the same way about those folks in Colorado. That little blond beauty pagent kid. I can't help but feel this folks should never have had children and that their surviving kids should be removed from their homes.

If this latest couple aren't involved, I feel that their actions most certainly contributed.

Can't help but almost wonder if someone might have thought that it would be best for the kid if they removed her from the house.

What kind of person brings this type of activity into the home of young children?

34 posted on 02/11/2002 5:33:54 PM PST by DoughtyOne
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To: Shermy
I'm not so sure. Westerfield was also seen dancing with the girl's mother at the bar. Since the family appears to be fudging on their stories, can we believe them when they say they hardly knew Westerfield? He was a neighbor, and he was dancing with the mother at a bar the night the child disappeared. For that matter, remember Susan Smith: can we even be sure (lie detector tests aside) that the parents don't know what happened?
35 posted on 02/11/2002 5:34:15 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: Petronski
I hate to go on looks, but, one of my first impressions about the van dam woman, was she had a hard cold look to her. Wonder if she has a drinking problem?
36 posted on 02/11/2002 5:34:20 PM PST by MsLady
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To: murdoog
It's not cruel. They claimed they were asleep when the abduction took place. The father noticed the intruder warning on the alarm system but paid no attention, apparently occupied. The allegations are, and they're not denying, that they were instead in their locked garage, smoking pot, engaged in "wife-swapping" behavior at the time of the alleged abduction.

Indeed, as someone asked, what pizza place delivers at 3AM?

Yes, the mother and the "suspect" neighbor were at the same bar/club that evening and reportedly danced together. There's an allegation that she "entertained" in the parking lot before returning home and that he had offered to host one of their adult parties at his home. There's another allegation that police took large amounts of child pornography from his residence.

37 posted on 02/11/2002 5:35:13 PM PST by newzjunkey
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To: Petronski
This just goes to show...Honestly, who amongst is a pure. I mean, there are things in my past that if became public knowledge, would be embarrassing. If it has nothing to do with the little girl's disappearance, than why bring it up. I just want to know why are they on Larry King? How could this possibly help them?
38 posted on 02/11/2002 5:36:30 PM PST by Hildy
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Comment #39 Removed by Moderator

To: JavaTheHutt
The father looked very sincere to me, not Ramseyesque at all. But who knows. thanks for the info on the neighbor... maybe he was there, and just grabbed the kid? Is the open sliding door story just an unrelated fact that makes a break-in sound plausible, or an attempted coverup?
40 posted on 02/11/2002 5:39:55 PM PST by Shermy
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To: DoughtyOne
I can't help but feel this folks should never have had children and that their surviving kids should be removed from their homes.

God help little Danielle, and God help her two brothers too.

41 posted on 02/11/2002 5:40:26 PM PST by Petronski
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To: JavaTheHutt
The father looked very sincere to me, not Ramseyesque at all. But who knows. thanks for the info on the neighbor... maybe he was there, and just grabbed the kid? Is the open sliding door story just an unrelated fact that makes a break-in sound plausible, or an attempted coverup?
42 posted on 02/11/2002 5:40:33 PM PST by Shermy
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To: Hildy
If it has nothing to do with the little girl's disappearance, than why bring it up.

That's a big if.

43 posted on 02/11/2002 5:41:59 PM PST by Petronski
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To: Hildy
If this is correct about their lifestyle, then they endangered their child by the unsavory types they brought home. What's the likelihood that a swinger couple would bring home a pervert or two during their little romps? Knowingly or unknowingly? They obiviously were more concerned about their own sexual wants, then they were about their kids saftey and welfare.
44 posted on 02/11/2002 5:43:05 PM PST by MsLady
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To: golitely
If they're not cautious about the people they have their "sex habits" with, they put these wee ones at risk.

An article I saw reported that the mom brought some people home who she met at the bar, but that they stayed about 15 minutes. But they were in the house for that 15 minutes.

And the kicker is that ma and pa didn't check on the daughter from the time the husband went to bed (10 p.m.) until 9:30 a.m. the next day when a neighbor kid came over to play. This in spite of having at least one door opened while the alarm system was on.

This just gets curiouser and curiouser. Bring some barflies home and they stay 15 minutes?

And the neighbor under suspicion says he danced with the mom at the bar. She says she doesn't remember that.

Wow!

45 posted on 02/11/2002 5:43:06 PM PST by Ole Okie
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To: MsLady
My first impression of Mrs. Van Dam....Susan Smith!
46 posted on 02/11/2002 5:43:25 PM PST by mystery-ak
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To: JavaTheHutt
Didn't Susan Smith (who drowned her children) take and pass a lie detector test, too? It was several years ago, so my memory might be in error.
47 posted on 02/11/2002 5:43:27 PM PST by MizSterious
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To: murdoog
Maybe I'm turning liberal or something, but it seems a little cruel that their sexual habits are becoming fair game for the whole damn world while they are also having to deal with a missing and possible dead child.

What is the likelihood that the little girl would be missing if her parents weren't into "swinging" or some other "alternate life style"? What is the likelihood that the little girl would be missing if her parents had spent the evening at home and tucked her in? It's not a matter of "sexual habits", it's a matter of parental responsibility.

48 posted on 02/11/2002 5:44:08 PM PST by jackbill
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To: Petronski
God help that little girl.

It's a long shot but what if the little girl woke up and saw her mommy making out with some stranger and freaked out and fled this mess?

49 posted on 02/11/2002 5:45:11 PM PST by tubebender
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To: jackbill
Her Father was home all evening. Is that an indictment on ALL Fathers? Come on..crap happens.
50 posted on 02/11/2002 5:45:56 PM PST by Hildy
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