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Irish Quotes; Happy St. Patricks Day
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Posted on 03/17/2002 6:40:17 AM PST by jmp702

Irish Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing I ever do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get. - George Bernard Shaw

The intellect of man is forced to choose Perfection of the life, or of the work. - W.B. Yeats

He who can does. He who cannot, teaches. - George Bernard Shaw

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

Alcohol is a very necessary article... It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning. - George Bernard Shaw

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde

The artist, like the God of the creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails. - James Joyce

[Dancing is] a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. - George Bernard Shaw

I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. - George Bernard Shaw

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde

Every man desires to live long; but no man would be old. - Jonathan Swift

When one has reached 81... one likes to sit back and let the world turn by itself, without trying to push it. - Sean O'Casey

A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde

In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs. - John Pentland Mahaffy


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: ireland; quotes; stpatricksday
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
1 posted on 03/17/2002 6:40:17 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
BUMP :>
2 posted on 03/17/2002 6:42:20 AM PST by KantianBurke
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To: jmp702
An Irishman is NEVER drunk, so long as he can reach down, grab a blade of grass, and not fall off the face of the Earth.

My Irish uncle drowned when he fell into a vat of whiskey. We tried to save him, but he resisted valiantly.

An Irishman always ends a letter with: "I would have enclosed a five-pound note, but I'd already sealed the envelope."

3 posted on 03/17/2002 6:47:34 AM PST by Henchster
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To: jmp702
I heard a song performed yesterday, but cannot find the lyrics. It was a classic, hysterical song. The title is "Stick to the ____" - where the blank is a word that I can't spell, but phonetically sounds like Cri-ther (long I)

The last verse includes the following line: "...there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky..." and the refrain goes like this: "so stick to the [Cryther], the best thing in nature, for drowning your sorrows and rasing your joys..."

If you or anyone lurking has ever heard the song I'd appreciate some more information so I can find the lyrics on the net....thanks.

4 posted on 03/17/2002 6:51:36 AM PST by Abundy
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To: jmp702
A few quotes from one of my favorite Irishmen...

"Republicans believe every day is 4th of July, but Democrats believe every day is April 15."

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

"I used to say that politics is the second oldest profession, and I have come to know that it bears a gross similarity to the first."


5 posted on 03/17/2002 6:52:54 AM PST by Joe 6-pack
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To: Henchster
Excellent!

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for... old Irish proverb

6 posted on 03/17/2002 6:54:01 AM PST by jmp702
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To: Joe 6-pack
Bump
7 posted on 03/17/2002 6:55:37 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
May God in His wisdom
And infinite love
Look down on you always,
From Heaven above.
May He send you good fortune,
Contentment and peace.
And may all your blessings
Forever increase.

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY to all.

8 posted on 03/17/2002 7:05:00 AM PST by nicmarlo
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To: jmp702
Irish toast:

May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're gone...

9 posted on 03/17/2002 7:06:26 AM PST by LadyDoc
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To: jmp702
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

Boy did a lot of people come to mind.

10 posted on 03/17/2002 7:09:07 AM PST by Semper Paratus
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To: all

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.



There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who lived on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she'd never benzene


There once was a young man of Trinity
Who found y^e root infinity.
But y^e digits
Gave him infinite fidgits,
So he dropped math and took up divinity.



 

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.


A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed


Lordy, Please Don't Ye Smite 'em
'Cause I Smiles When I Sight 'em
I Laugh At The Gimerick
When I Reads A Limerick
I Only Cuss Because I Knows I Cain't Write 'em


11 posted on 03/17/2002 7:15:17 AM PST by jmp702
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To: slane;happygal;Benson_Carter;Colosis;jla;Bold Fenian;Dan from Michigan;incorrigible
IRISH bump
12 posted on 03/17/2002 7:20:59 AM PST by constitutiongirl
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To: jmp702
"All snakes wishing to remain in Ireland, raise your right hand." — Attributed to St. Patrick
13 posted on 03/17/2002 7:22:55 AM PST by Doctor Stochastic
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To: jmp702
So let me see if I have this right. St. Patrick's Day is a holiday for a man who was not named Patrick, who was not born in Ireland, who did not drive the snakes out of Ireland, who did not bring Catholicism to Ireland, and who was not born on March 17th. Does it have a purpose other than an excuse for excessive drinking?
14 posted on 03/17/2002 7:25:08 AM PST by Non-Sequitur
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To: Non-Sequitur
an excuse for excessive drinking?

Who needs an excuse?

15 posted on 03/17/2002 7:35:34 AM PST by Steve0113
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To: jmp702
10-22...did some more searching and found what I was looking for...
16 posted on 03/17/2002 7:36:54 AM PST by Abundy
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To: Abundy
Post it up!
17 posted on 03/17/2002 7:38:43 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
The Humors of Whiskey

Let your quacks and newspapers be cuttin' their capers
And curing the Vapours, the Scratch and the Gout.
With their medical potions, their pills and their lotions,
Upholdin' their notions, they're mighty put out.
Who can tell the true physic of all things pathetic
And pitch to the Devil Cramp, Colic and Spleen?
Oh you'll find them I think if you take a big drink
With your mouth to the brink of a jug of Poteen.

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys.
Oh what botherations no bolt to the nation
Can bring consolation like Poteen me boys.

No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
Or ladies pathetic can bring such a bloom
As the sweet, by the powers to the garden of flowers
Never brought it own powers such a darlin' perfume.
And this liquid's so rare if you're willin' to share
To be takin' your hair when its grizzled and dead.
Oh the Sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
So strong it'll shake all the hairs from your head.

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys.
Oh since its perfection no doctor's direction
Can cleanse the complexion like Poteen me boys.

As a child in my cradle the nurse from her ladle
Was swillin' her mouth with a notion of ``Pep''
When a drop from her bottle fell into me throttle.
I capered and scrambled right out of her lap.
On the floor I lay crawlin' and screamin' and bawlin'
Till Father and Mother soon came to the fore.
Conceived I lay dying, all wailing and crying
They found I was only a-cryin' for more.

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys.
Oh Lord how I'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
Could only be suckled on Poteen me boys.

Through youthful digressions and times of depression
My childhood impression still clung to me mind.
In school and in college the basis of knowledge
I never could gulp 'till with whiskey combined.
Now as older I'm growin', time's ever bestowin'
On Erin's potation a flavour so fine
And how e're they may lecture on Jove and his nectar
Itself is the only true liquid divine.

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys.
Oh Lord it's the right thing for courtin' and fightin'
There's nowt so exciting as Poteen me boys.

Come guess me this riddle what beats pipes and fiddle
What's hotter than mustard and wilder than cream?
What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
Smoother than honey and stronger than steam?
What'll make the dumb talk, what'll make the lame walk
The elixir of life and philosopher's stone?
And what helped Mr. Brunell to dig the Thames tunnel
Wasn't it Poteen me boys from old Innishowen.

Then stick to the Cratur the best thing in nature
For sinkin' your sorrows and raisin' your joys.
Oh Lord knows I wonder if lightning and thunder
Was made from the plunder of Poteen me boys!

Let philosophers dabble in science and babble
‘Bout Oxy-gin, Hydro-gin, Nitro-gin’s fame
For their gin, to my thinking, is not worth the drinking
Their labour’s all lost and their learning a drame
They may prate by the score of their elements four
That all things earth, fire, air and water must be
For their rules I don’t care, for in Ireland I’ll swear
By St. Pat there’ a fifth and that’s whiskey, machree!

You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
For liquid cosmetic, you can’t beat the drop
With a glow to your cheek, it will maker your heart leap
It’ll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob

At the mouth your would drool, be reduced to a fool
You’d kick up your heels and you’d peel to the buff
Then ‘tis he’d be pathetic while you’d be athletic
If only you’d take a few drops of the stuff

So stick to the cratur, the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
For there’s nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
It soon separates all the men from the boys

18 posted on 03/17/2002 7:42:37 AM PST by Abundy
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To: jmp702
"poteen" is pronounced "paw-CHEEN"
19 posted on 03/17/2002 7:43:37 AM PST by Abundy
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To: Abundy
"poteen" is pronounced "paw-CHEEN"

Caught it. Listened to the wav. Thanks

20 posted on 03/17/2002 7:52:03 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
The .wav doesn't do it justice...there's a local Irish band that does this song without instrumental accompaniment (can't spell acapella). The lead singer does the verses and the band harmonizes with him on the refrain...brings tears to your eyes. I'm trying to convince them to put it on their next CD...

If you've seen the movie Gettysburg then you've seen them. They did all the Irish music and appear briefly in the movie...

21 posted on 03/17/2002 8:04:48 AM PST by Abundy
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To: jmp702
Shanty Irish
22 posted on 03/17/2002 8:07:31 AM PST by Abundy
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To: jmp702
"God invented whisky to prevent the Irish from ruling the world." -anon
23 posted on 03/17/2002 8:10:55 AM PST by Poincare
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To: constitutiongirl;Happygal
A SONG FOR IRELAND

Walking all the day, near tall towers
where falcons build their nests
Siver winged they fly,
they know the call of freedom in their breasts
Saw Black Head against the sky
with twisted rocks that run down to the sea
Living on your western shore,
saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic sea
and sang a song for Ireland

Talking all the day with true friends
who try to make you stay
Telling jokes and news,
singing songs to pass the night away
Watched the Galway salmon run
like silver dancing darting in the sun
Living on your western shore
saw summer sunsets, asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic sea
and sang a song for Ireland

Drinking all the day in old pubs
where fiddlers love to play
Someone touched the bow,
he played a reel
it seemed so fine and gay
Stood on Dingle beach
and cast in wild foam we found Atlantic bass
Living on your western shore,
saw summer sunsets asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic sea
and sang a song for Ireland

Dreaming in the night I saw a land
where no man had to fight
Waking in your dawn
I saw you crying in the morning light
Lying where the falcons fly,
they twist and turn all in you e'er blue sky
Living on your western shore,
saw summer sunsets asked for more
I stood by your Atlantic sea
and sang a song for Ireland


24 posted on 03/17/2002 8:44:20 AM PST by jla
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To: Non-Sequitur
Does it have a purpose other than an excuse for excessive drinking?

Works for me.

25 posted on 03/17/2002 8:50:01 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets
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To: constitutiongirl; happyGal; Norn Iron
"If you're lucky enough to be Irish, you're lucky enough."
-- From an older gentleman with a thick Caven accent at the NYC St. Patrick's Day parade
26 posted on 03/17/2002 8:59:18 AM PST by Incorrigible
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To: jmp702
Here’s to temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with— And me not there at all!

An Irishman is never drunk as long as He can hold onto one blade of grass and not Fall off the face of the earth.

There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish And those who wish they were.

An Irishman's Philosophy:
There are only two things to worry about:
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about:
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die, there are two things to worry about:
Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven, then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands
with all your friends, then you won't have time to worry!

27 posted on 03/17/2002 9:03:06 AM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: jmp702
Happy St. Pat's to ye! Lovely limericks!

28 posted on 03/17/2002 9:04:58 AM PST by Libertina
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To: Dan from Michigan
But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with all your friends, then you won't have time to worry!

LOL

29 posted on 03/17/2002 9:17:27 AM PST by jmp702
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To: Libertina
And the same to ye!
30 posted on 03/17/2002 9:18:39 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jla
It's too sad.
31 posted on 03/17/2002 9:26:23 AM PST by Happygal
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To: Happygal
Wearing of the Green midi

Harper's Frolic midi

32 posted on 03/17/2002 9:34:20 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702; happygal; dubyaismypresident; dan from michigan
My favorite bit is this one I heard in a pub:

A gentlemen was telling the story of how his grandfather was always telling him that when a man died, he was suspended by his heels over a barrel. In the barrel was all the whiskey that the man had spilt over his lifetime. When the man was lowered into the barrel, if he drowned he went to hell.

So the moral of the story is:

Never spill more than your soul is worth!

(shrug) I always liked it! LOL

33 posted on 03/17/2002 9:40:07 AM PST by RikaStrom
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To: RikaStrom
LOL. Alchohol abuse.
34 posted on 03/17/2002 9:42:42 AM PST by Dan from Michigan
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To: RikaStrom
Happy


35 posted on 03/17/2002 9:49:25 AM PST by jmp702
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To: Steve0113
Right you are, who needs an excuse to drink......Yesterday, my hubby, who is half Irish, made the rounds of our local stores, in search of various Irish brews...he takes great delight in finding the ones he already loves, and enjoys finding new ones...most of the time he finds these in larger stores, where long lines are routine...

However, there is one convenience store and gas station near us, where the owner for some reason, likes to stock many different premium beers, which one may not find in the usual places...now this, being a convenience store, is where folks run into for a six pack of the local swill, or a gallon of milk...most people run in and run out quickly....

But my hubby spend quite some time there, picking out lots and lots of different wonderful Irish brews...by the time he was done, they had to get a box, for him to fill up, so that he could get to the checkout line...

Now there was only one checkout line, and when they got to my husbands puchases, this was going to be quite a long production....my hubby says, he could hear the customers in line behind him, sighing and moaning....then one guy in the line shouts out to my husband, in a rather sly, but good natured way,"Are you thirsty?"

Well, that broke the tension and everyone had a good laugh, including my husband...my hubby laughed because he knew these folks may have thought he was having a St Pattys day party, and that he was stocking up for lots of folks...Truth be told, there is just him and me here, and yes, we will finish off all that brew, thank you very much....

Happy St Pattys day to one and all...good drinking to ya....

36 posted on 03/17/2002 10:01:38 AM PST by andysandmikesmom
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To: jmp702
"Patrick was a hard-bitten man who did not find his life's purpose till his life was half over. He had a temper that could flare dangerously when he perceived an injustice -- not against himself but against another, particularly against someone defenseless. But he had the cheerfulness and good humor that humble people often have. He enjoyed this world and its variety of human beings -- and he didn't take himself too seriously. He was, in spirit, an Irishman."
-- Thomas Cahill, How the Irish Saved Civilization
37 posted on 03/17/2002 10:08:12 AM PST by browardchad
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To: All
Out of curiosity...who was Saint Patty?
And when was she beatified?

Anyway...Happy Saint Paddy's Day.

38 posted on 03/17/2002 10:11:36 AM PST by jla
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To: browardchad
Beautifully written
39 posted on 03/17/2002 10:21:10 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jla
Saint Patrick

A Blessing from Saint Patrick


May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His
hand.

saintptr.jpg (21197 bytes)

clovebar2.gif (7634 bytes)

St. Patrick was a Christian missionary given major credit for the conversion of Ireland from paganism. So many legends surround his life that the truth is not easily found.

St. Patrick was born the son of a Christian in what is now britain. As a teen Patrick was kidnapped by an Irish raiding party and forced into slavery. After six years he escaped and made his way back home. Soon after, Patrick received a divine call in a dream to return to Ireland as a Christian missionary. After being ordained as a priest, he traveled to Ireland to spend the rest of his life converting pagans, founding churches, and ordaining clergymen. It is agreed that St. Patrick was the leader in the Christianization of pagan Ireland.

St. Patrick became a hero in Ireland, so much so that there are no fewer than 60 churches and cathedrals named for him in Ireland alone. Perhaps the most famous of these is the giant St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin, the grounds of which bear the mark of the site on which St. Patrick baptized his converts.

clovebar2.gif (7634 bytes)


May St. Patrick guard you wherever
you go and guide you in
whatever you do--and may his loving
protection be a blessing to you always.
(Irish Blessing)

stpatback.gif (2408 bytes)

40 posted on 03/17/2002 10:42:43 AM PST by jmp702
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To: jmp702
BUMP for later reading!
41 posted on 03/17/2002 10:47:00 AM PST by mtngrl@vrwc
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To: jmp702
Irish Quotes and Proverbs
42 posted on 03/17/2002 10:48:56 AM PST by Pistias
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To: jla
I usually use the Irish-correct...St. Padraig.
43 posted on 03/17/2002 10:58:55 AM PST by constitutiongirl
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To: constitutiongirl
I understand. *S*
(I was just being a little sarcastic in my previous post.)
44 posted on 03/17/2002 11:09:32 AM PST by jla
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To: jla
To be correct, Lá Feile Padraig.
45 posted on 03/17/2002 1:44:23 PM PST by Happygal
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To: andysandmikesmom
Happy St Pattys day to one and all...good drinking to ya....

And the rest of the day to yerself, lass...

46 posted on 03/17/2002 4:31:58 PM PST by Steve0113
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To: Incorrigible; constitutiongirl; HappyGal
Have you listened to Bertie Ahern's speech at North Western University on March 12. It's 35 minutes loooong but there are a few typical Bertie Bloomers

Patten Permission [on policing]

to diverse our continent from the Arctic to the Mediterranean without having to change currency.

47 posted on 03/19/2002 10:55:33 AM PST by Norn Iron
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To: Norn Iron
I try my best to avoid Bertie speeches at the best of times! *L*
48 posted on 03/19/2002 10:59:51 AM PST by Happygal
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To: Texasproud
Whooooooo Hoooooo !!! HEY !!!.....................FYI !
49 posted on 03/19/2002 11:02:19 AM PST by Squantos
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To: Norn Iron
Bonny Kellswater - Lyrics and Midi
50 posted on 03/19/2002 11:05:55 AM PST by Norn Iron
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