Skip to comments.Sex, Equality, And Kidding Ourselves (Should Men put their foot down and say enough is enough??)
Posted on 04/17/2002 1:58:35 PM PDT by M 91 u2 K
Men of today's older generation grew up in the chivalric miasma of their time, which held that women were morally superior to men, and that civilized men protected women against any available vicissitude. A corollary was that women needed protecting. So common has this understanding been throughout history that one may suspect it of being based in ancient instinct: In a less hospitable world, if men didn't protect women, something disagreeable would eat them, and then there would be no more people. So men did. And do.
Instincts have consequences, particularly when the circumstances requiring them cease to exist.
Because women were until recently subordinate, and in large part played the role of gentility assigned to them, men didn't recognize that they could be dangerous, selfish, or sometimes outright vipers. They were no worse than men, but neither were they better. Men believed, as did women, that women were tender creatures, caring, kind, and suited to be mothers. Males deferred to women in many things, which didn't matter because the things women wanted were not important.
When women came into a degree of power, it turned out that they were as immoral, or amoral, as men, probably more self-centered, and out for what they could get. Not all were, of course, as neither were all men, but suddenly this became the central current. This too followed lines of instinctual plausibility: Women took care of children and themselves, and men took care of women. It made sense that they should be self-centered.
These newly empowered women knew, as women have always known, how to wield charm, and they quickly learned to enjoy power. The men of the old school didn't notice in time. They deferred, and they were blind-sided. They gave gentlemanly agreement to one-sided laws hostile to men.
Political deference became a pattern. It remains a pattern. It probably springs in part from the male's instinctive recognition that, by giving women what they want, he gets laid. Between individuals this worked tolerably well, but less so when applied to abstract groups.
When women said they wanted protection against dead-beat dads, the old school fell for it. They were attuned to saving maidens and the sheltering from life's storms of white Christian motherhood. "Dead-beat dads" was of course that sure-fire political winner -- an alliterative slogan of few words that embodied a conclusion but no analysis. So sure were men that women were the kinder gentler sex that they never bothered to look at the statistics on abuse of children, or the track records of the sexes in raising children.
The romantic elderly male believed -- believes -- that women were the natural proprietors of the young. This led to laws virtually denying a divorced father's interest in his children, though not the requirement that he pay for their upkeep. The pattern holds today. Male judges in family law defer to women, almost any women no matter how unfit, and female judges side with their own. The demonstrable fact that women can and do abuse and neglect children, that a female executive clawing her way up the hierarchy may have the maternal instincts of a rattlesnake, that children need their fathers -- all of this has been forgotten.
The reflexive deference continued. Feminists wanted congress to pass a vast program of funding for every left-wing cause that incited enthusiasm in the sterile nests of NOW. They called it the Violence Against Women Act, and men deferentially gave it to them. Of course to vote against it, no matter what it actually said -- and almost no one knew -- would have been to seem to favor violence against women. A law to exterminate orphans, if called the Domestic Violence Prevention Act, would pass without demur.
There followed yet more male deference to female desires. When women wanted to go into the military to have babies, or a Soldier Experience, men couldn't bring themselves to say no.
When the women couldn't perform as soldiers, men graciously lowered standards so they could appear to. It was the equivalent of helping a woman over a log in the park, the legal and institutional parallel of murmuring, "Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing."
On and on it went. The aggregate effect has been that women have gained real power, while (or by) managing in large part to continue to exact deference and, crucially, to avoid the accountability that should come with power. A minor example is women who want the preferential treatment that women now enjoy, and yet expect men to pay for their dates. In today's circumstances, this is simple parasitism.
Today men are accountable for their behavior. Women are not. The lack of accountability, seldom clearly recognized, is the bedrock of much of today's feminist misbehavior, influence, and politics. Its pervasiveness is worth pondering.
A man who sires children and leaves is called a dead-beat dad, and persecuted. A woman who has seven children out of wedlock and no capacity to raise them is not a criminal, but a victim. He is accountable for his misbehavior, but she is not for hers. It is often thus.
Consider the female Army officer who complained that morning runs were demeaning to women. A man who thus sniveled would be disciplined, ridiculed, and perhaps thumped. Yet the Army fell over itself to apologize and investigate. Again, men are held accountable for their indiscipline, but women are not. Men expect to adapt themselves to the Army, but women expect the Army to adapt to them. And it does. The male instinct is to keep women happy.
Note that a woman who brings charges of sexual harassment against a man suffers no, or minor, consequences if the charges are found to be unfounded -- i.e., made up. A man who lied about a woman's misbehavior would be sacked. He is accountable. She isn't.
Yes, large numbers of women are responsible, competent, and agreeable. Few engage in the worst abuses, as for example the fabrication of sexual harassment. Yet they can do these things. A man cannot throw a fit and get his way. A woman can. Only a few need misbehave to poison the air and set society on edge. And the many profit by the misbehavior of the few.
People will do what they can get away with. Men assuredly will, and so are restrained by law. Women are not. Here is the root of much evil, for society, children, men and, yes, women.
I'll vote for that one and also for letting boys grow up to be the healthy males they were meant to be.
BTW, the author is a racist pig who hates women. They were attuned to saving maidens and the sheltering from life's storms of white Christian motherhood.
Not for one minute do I believe that women jumped ship first. It was men who shirked responsible leadership and women responded with feminazism.
The abbandonment of Patriarchy for the Playboy philosophy is what started the gender war, it's just that the playboys have been very good at ducking and the patriarchs have take the shellacking.
Like I said, this is based on believing the Bible. If you don't believe it, then I suppose you'll have to come up with something else. :-)
Looks like an interesting basis for a vanity.
After 35 years of study I agree with you to some extent. Playboy philosophy started the war. But the women also decided they liked the action in bed and eagerly took the bait. However, they didn't like the consequences of having taken up the life style.
I enjoy Fred's humor immensely. But it only took your question to wipe the smile off my face. By turning our boys over to the sole care of selfish women via divorce, single motherhood, and the feminized public school systems, we have committed cultural suicide. By the time men as a social force realize that "enough is enough," there will be too few of us left to do anything but slink into mountain caves to wait for civilization to destroy itself.
The majority of them have. They have foregone serious long term relationships with women.
I'm happy you said that. Made my load a little lighter, and gave me a feeling of superiority.
The playboys and the violent wolves just as routinely ignore all the above and do what they what, and generally waltz away.
As long as men admire other men for their ability to get, use and dispose of women shamelessly, and uphold that behavior as socially acceptable the war will continue.
Men do need to put their collective foot down, but it's with other men. You dudes put your patriarchal house in order and you'll have no trouble getting the gals back in line.
I tend to agree. Here's a better take, IMHO, from a reply within Mothers in Combat Boots.
|But one must beware of some guy who is intimidated by women unless she's in a subservient or traditional position or some who want to keep women down and out.
Spoken like one who has a true contempt for women and their role as life-bearers and mothers and believes it is somehow "empowering" for women to split themselves in two so as to handle (by half the usual measure) the responsibilities of fulltime career and fulltime mother.
Perhaps it is you who are intimidated by women who aren't "leveled" down to a male-based homogenous form of New Man with the right to be unpregnant at will and a sexual predator (when she's being degraded on prime-time HBO for entertainment purposes or gang-raped, razor-bladed or copulating with animals for some pornographer's Pink Ballet).
Further to the author's quotes about the Socratic observation of human nature which the feminists seek to destroy with their unisex toilets, boys that must drugged until they behave like girls and women who must have every accomodation in order to act like men ...
... Clearly, life-affirmation is one source of gentleness and protectiveness toward women. But woman has another claim to male reverence and self-control -- her beauty. Why? Beauty is an immediately perceptible experience of perfection, of the ideal, of the sacred, therefore of God. Beauty is God's manifestation of His Goodness and perfection in the material world whether in a sunset or a woman's person.Excerpted from John Attarian's Women and the Sadean Death Culture (Culture Wars 12/97, pp.14-21)
It is not only selfish women who divorce. The trend of maternal custody is a recent one in history. It came about because the playboy philosphy values sexual freedom over paternal responsibility and gladly gave up custody to obtain it. It was a hollow victory.
Thanks for clearing that up. I fell for the old story about abortion-on-demand, liberal social welfare policies, and "divorce on demand" being responsible for the destruction of the family and marginalization of the father. Now I know the problen was really caused by guys looking at racy pictures, reading dirty jokes, and learning how to tell the difference between a Lamborghini and a Ferrari.
I see many single men in their 20s-30s-40s.
The problem is that they haven't given up casual sex, so women can still have children without husbands. Men have in effect taken themselves out of the family unit and the ability to influence future generations, but most are too busy reading the latest issue of Playboy to see what they have done to themselves.
Are these women worth having?
When I put my foot down, it did not end my life, but it sure ended my marriage. So much for that line of reasoning.
If you ever voluteer in an abortion alternative center, you would realize that abortions are not demanded by girls, but by playboys who want to play and not be men.
Fears over the "gender bender" effect of pollution, arose after Environment Agency research showed that half of all the male fish in low-lying English rivers are changing sex as a result of water pollution.
The source of contamination is believed to be urine from tens of thousands of women who use the contraceptive pill.
Sperm counts are going down steeply in England. Is contraception our own suicide bomb? By the time women decide to have another baby boom, the men will be gay. What goes around comes around.
But might I suggest you keep your pants zipped until you have in fact married such a female.
NOT even the same decade.
2. Low sperm count means a man is sterile, not gay.
I already am married. I was talking about the younger generation.
The individual least likely to cheat is the one most committed to their children or to the ideal of monogamy.
Which is why one should first be committed to the ideal (which always remains lovely) before committing to a person (who will have unlovely moments).
There are now more never-married people in that age group than since the sex's were separated by the American fronier.
Sterile men aren't any less guys than normal men.
To a slight extent true, but let's be a little more truthful. One man keeping his pants zipped has little effect when the only thing it means is that the modern liberated woman is going to screw somebody else.
My point is that while men have a part in this crap-bucket, it is not all the men's fault. Women and Gays are the ones who demand sexual freedoms, not Heterosexual men. If you look to the past you will find the many "flamboyant" Women of the Thirties, Forties and Fifties that ushered in the Sexual revolution of the Sixties. Women who took the Women's Lib movement to the extreme in it's earliest stages and negated or removed the role of men. Women who "needed" no man and preferred Females. Some of the most astounding (and crack pot) sexual research and theories of these times were "found" and/or promoted by Women (including Women\Girl, Boy\Man). Remember, most of this happened in the Universities of the day first and much while the "real" men were at war (WWII, Korea and Vietnam).
What's your point here, that she's going to screw somebody so it might as well be you?
Keeping your pants zipped will have a great effect in NOT repulsing the kind of woman you want while actively discouraging the liberated women you don't want.
Not to mention preventing yourself from being used as a sperm donor by a modern liberated Jane who wants to satisfy her biological clock.
And still, I believe that the playboy philosphy was developed by men and marketed to women. Those glamour stars of the 20's-40's were marketed to women, by men and male dominated corporations. They just didn't look far enough ahead to what "liberating" women for their sexual utilitarianism would do.
Now the culture rot and gender war is.......spiraling out of control.
The slippery slope of moral rot is clear. But where did it start and with whom? And which gender is at the forefront of demanding more sexual libertinism.
Well there are a lot more gays today and a lot fewer children so have it your way. Talking won't be able to fool nature.
That wasn't the point and you damned well know it.
yeah, yeah, yeah. Men could live by a double standard for thousands of years, but women could not. Now, that a bunch of feminazis want a chance to catch up, women are "probably more selfish"? The author's bias is a bit too apparent.