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Top 10 Things Cats Would Do If They Had Access To Computers! (MEOW ALERT)
Miscellaneous Cat Humor Site ^ | 23 April 2002 | Unknown

Posted on 04/23/2002 10:32:38 AM PDT by PetroniDE

10. Break into Vets computer and erase their appointments, And schedule the dog down the street for FULL range of shots.

9. Keep a log of lives used.

8. Access Dogs records of buried bones and change it.

7. Using a CAD program design a better mouse trap.

6. Print a time table of the best window to lay in to catch the best sun.

5. Play with the mouse.

4. Use Fax card to send junk mail back to Dog.

3. Set a schedule for time for eating and sleeping.

2. Leave E-mail to humans telling them it is time to change litter box.

1. Play chase with the cursor.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: catlist
First Kitty thread in a while.
Here, Kitty - Kitty - Kitty - Kitty.
1 posted on 04/23/2002 10:32:38 AM PDT by PetroniDE
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To: *cat_list
Here, Kitty - Kitty - Kitty - Kitty
2 posted on 04/23/2002 10:33:44 AM PDT by PetroniDE
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To: PetroniDE
very cute!
3 posted on 04/23/2002 10:34:44 AM PDT by homeschool mama
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To: PetroniDE
You know, #1 happens a lot. Whenever the cat wanders into the room while I'm using the PC, he jumps up and intently watches the cursor.

Of course, it could be because a friend sent me some alternate cursors, and the one I am using is a miniature Blue Angel jet, with afterburner aflame.

So he probably thinks it's a little blue fly of some sort. Come to think of it, I don't know which of us is more amused by the whole thing!

4 posted on 04/23/2002 10:46:32 AM PDT by spoiler2
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To: PetroniDE
I saw a god programme on PBS or something about cats; apparently they can sleep 20 hrs a day, like my cat.
5 posted on 04/23/2002 10:50:00 AM PDT by anatolfz
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To: PetroniDE
16 Signs Your Cat May Be Planning To Kill You

1. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
2. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey's 900 number on your bill.
3. He actually *does* have your tongue.
4. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
5. Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
6. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
7. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
8. Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
9. Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me punk?"
10. Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
11. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
12. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
13. Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
14. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
15. You find a piece of paper labeled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
16. Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.

6 posted on 04/23/2002 10:51:15 AM PDT by joesnuffy
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To: PetroniDE
I fully expect to come home one day and catch my crew online at the Iams website, ordering cat food by the 50 gallon drum...
7 posted on 04/23/2002 10:55:16 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan
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To: PetroniDE
11: Schedule nocturnal feline activities--preferably after owner is sound asleep.
8 posted on 04/23/2002 10:55:32 AM PDT by scholar
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To: PetroniDE
9. Keep a log of lives used.

Does a cat have to change his screen name with every life?

9 posted on 04/23/2002 11:07:04 AM PDT by Corin Stormhands
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To: PetroniDE
My cats do have access to my computers. They fight over who gets to sleep on the monitor.
10 posted on 04/23/2002 12:23:00 PM PDT by stayathomemom
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To: stayathomemom;PetroniDE;spoiler2;anatolfz;joesnuffy;GodBlessRonaldReagan;
Set up appointment with your doctor to have you spay or nutered.
11 posted on 04/23/2002 1:14:40 PM PDT by Calculus_of_Consent
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To: Calculus_of_Consent
Bwahahaha
12 posted on 04/23/2002 1:16:26 PM PDT by NeoCaveman
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To: Dog
See items #4 and #8 on the list.:)
13 posted on 04/23/2002 1:18:33 PM PDT by MozartLover
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To: PetroniDE

14 posted on 04/23/2002 1:42:03 PM PDT by martin_fierro
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To: martin_fierro
LOL
15 posted on 04/23/2002 2:09:56 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: PetroniDE

16 posted on 04/23/2002 2:11:33 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: PetroniDE
Pleez put me on your cat list!


17 posted on 04/23/2002 2:41:51 PM PDT by Lady Jag
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To: spoiler2
You know, #1 happens a lot.

I never knew a cat that didn't go WILD when printing anything on the printer. My cat jams his hands (paws) down into the rollers!

18 posted on 04/23/2002 3:00:26 PM PDT by BunnySlippers
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Can you find the hidden bird?


19 posted on 04/23/2002 3:21:20 PM PDT by strela
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To: anatolfz
"I saw a god programme on PBS or something about cats; apparently they can sleep 20 hrs a day, like my cat."

ONLY 20 hours? ... I have a cat that sleeps 23.75 hours/day ... awake only long enough to eat at 5PM ... and by Jove ... you better not be one minute late. In 15 years, I've never even seen her use the litter box (although, I'm sure she does). LOL &;-)

20 posted on 04/23/2002 3:56:54 PM PDT by 2Trievers
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To: PetroniDE
One of my all-time favorite cat photos ...


21 posted on 04/23/2002 4:04:56 PM PDT by 2Trievers
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To: penny1
PING
22 posted on 04/24/2002 12:08:43 AM PDT by irishtenor
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To: GodBlessRonaldReagan
I fully expect to come home one day and catch my crew online at the Iams website, ordering cat food by the 50 gallon drum...

Mine keeps pulling up the site for Omaha Steaks.

23 posted on 04/24/2002 12:52:25 AM PDT by uglybiker
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To: PetroniDE

My cats don't need this. Luckily.

24 posted on 04/24/2002 1:34:11 AM PDT by petuniasevan
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To: PetroniDE

25 posted on 04/24/2002 1:36:12 AM PDT by petuniasevan
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To: PetroniDE
One day my husband was lying on our bed, petting our affectionate orange tabby, Pretzel.
I was blow-drying my hair. No problem; the cat was mellow.
Well, I turned off the dryer for a minute while I combed my hair. Then I turned the dryer back on.
I didn't know it was possible for a kitty to convert from a soft purring bundle o' love to whirling razor wire in 1/1000 second.

My husband was NOT amused; he had scratches all over his arms, one cheek, and the side of his neck.

26 posted on 04/24/2002 1:43:18 AM PDT by petuniasevan
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To: PetroniDE
Were you calling a kitty?




27 posted on 04/24/2002 6:12:00 PM PDT by Sungirl
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