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Need a Break? Try Gitmo Beach Vacation Resort!
internet ^ | 30 Apr 02 | gorio

Posted on 04/30/2002 6:52:07 PM PDT by gorio

Gitmo Beach Vacation Resort:

 Is the sound of daisy cutters keeping you up all night?
Are you tired of sleeping in that cold dark cave wondering if and when you will ever eat again?
Did the boss skip town and leave you holding the bag?
Is the Northern Alliance causing you more grief than camel hairs in your milk?










We have just the thing for you!

Gitmo Resorts in collaboration with the US military is proud to offer this once in a lifetime opportunity. If you are or have been a member in good standing with either the Taliban or Al Qaeda then you could be the lucky recipient of a luxurious vacation in beautiful Guantanamo Bay Cuba.

To see if you qualify, simply visit one of the US Marine detachments located conveniently near your cave. If you are selected then you will be whisked away in one of our finest, state of the art, transport planes. Upon arrival at the Gitmo Resort you will be pampered beyond your wildest dreams. 


Worried about what to wear? No problem! We will furnish you with a brand new wardrobe at our expense.  We will even provide plenty of hot water for showers that were at one time only a dream for you and your buddies.


 You can forget about sleeping on the hard ground of that cave with barely a blanket to cover you. All of our guests sleep on top quality mattresses while enjoying the comforts of a modern climate controlled environment.  You will be the envy of all your friends back in Afghanistan as you relax in a tropical paradise and eat three square meals a day.  

Worried about security? No need to worry about that. Our armed guards will be with you 24/7. 

You can forget about that pesky Northern Alliance and devote all of your attention to Allah.  
We will even provide signs that point the way to Mecca.

Just listen to what Amhad "The Goat" Rushoubi is saying about his stay at the resort.

“I joined Al Qaeda after a blind date in Kabul went terribly wrong. I thought the Al Qaeda would give me a sense of fulfillment. After many months of living in the cold with very little to eat, I decided to try the Gitmo Getaway package.”

"It was more than a pleasant surprise to see real Fruit Loops for the first time.
They taste so much better than month old goat cheese. 

"The people here think of everything. Some of the security people are women who do not cover their faces! 
I got very excited when I saw them.

Need we say more?

If you think you might qualify for this incredible opportunity then walk, don't run, to the nearest American military unit near your cave.  Be sure to specify the American plan as other offers might leave you eating grass in a wooden cage.

Sign up today before this offer expires. 

Some restrictions apply.

(Offer good for a limited time only to members of Al Qaeda or the Taliban. You must be actively engaged in military actions or conspiracies against the United States. Some recipients of this offer may be required to wear shackles at the discretion of the military hosts. Length of stay subject to immediate termination by military tribunal, legal action, repatriation or firing squad.

TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: alqueda; cuba; gitmo; humor; vacation
Another Treasure from the web!

1 posted on 04/30/2002 6:52:08 PM PDT by gorio
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To: gorio
This is a keeper.
2 posted on 04/30/2002 7:04:03 PM PDT by grammymoon
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To: gorio

Hey look heres some guests signing up now.

3 posted on 04/30/2002 7:04:07 PM PDT by DainBramage
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To: gorio
Ever since I saw that these low life, F$5#$*$,scum will have flush toilets,I have had an image of them overflowing these toilets,and our military men having to clean it up.

The thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.

Don't mean to bum anyone out.

4 posted on 04/30/2002 7:05:30 PM PDT by mdittmar
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To: PsyOp
5 posted on 04/30/2002 8:27:05 PM PDT by Marine Inspector
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To: infowars; 2Trievers; sleavelessinseattle; Righty1; twyn1; mountaineer; ~Kim4VRWC's~; TopQuark...
Mega Bump!
6 posted on 04/30/2002 8:37:04 PM PDT by PsyOp
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To: Lazamataz
Not bad for an amateur.
7 posted on 04/30/2002 8:39:17 PM PDT by Travis McGee
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To: psyops; Colorado Tanker; Libertina; pissed off janitor; happygrl;Dennisw;sjackson;Proudeagle...
When I grow up, I want to be a travel agent!!!
8 posted on 04/30/2002 9:19:50 PM PDT by sleavelessinseattle
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To: gorio
G ... this is fantastic! &;-) Thank you!
9 posted on 04/30/2002 10:40:00 PM PDT by 2Trievers
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To: gorio
This story was lifted from the JDHAUSER.COM web site.
10 posted on 05/27/2002 8:29:56 PM PDT by jdhauser
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