Prayers for the wife of a friend

6.16.02 | Michael King

[mhking]

We got home last night after being out much of the afternoon, and I received a distressing e-mail:

It is with deep sorrow that I must tell you that Rodney O. Lain took his own life yesterday. Irma called my wife this afternoon and informed her of the news.

Rodney struggled for several years with depression.

Rodney was the brightest, most creative man I have ever met. He was more than just a black guy who taught me what racism does to people. He was my friend. He was my brother. He was such a good friend I never even thought of him in terms of race, but as a great and gifted human being.

Now he is gone to where there will be no more pain. No more worries about seratonin levels. No more fears from being abandoned as a child. No more racism. No more pain from having his faith violated by his former religion.

Dammit Rodney why didn't you take your pills??

Pray for Irma. She's got a rough week ahead. A funeral date has not yet been set.

Bill Ferguson

PS: A special thanks to all his fans in the Apple Computer world. There was nothing Rodney loved more than Mac Computers and writing about them. He always wanted to be the black Guy Kawasaki, he idolized Steve Jobs, he made it as far as working in the Apple Store in the Mall of America, and writing for several web-zines. One thing is for certain, writing and Mac's were his love in life.
--
William Ferguson, ferguson@quango.net on 15/06/2002

Rodney was just here with me in Atlanta three weeks ago; he was down for his brother's college graduation. We grabbed a few drinks, and gabbed for hours. I had no clue that anything like this was in the offing. Regulars to Mac message boards or sites may be familiar with his regular musings on MacObserver.com or his own site iBrotha.com. He worked full time for UPS in Minneapolis, and part time in Apple's store in Mall of America.

He and I had become good friends over the last year or so - fellow travelers, if you will - we shared a lot of insight on writing and politics and life. I was planning on introducing him to FR soon; he was a black conservative himself, and just finding out that there were more of us out there than he realized.

I'm still in shock this morning.

It's a hell of a way to spend Father's Day.

It makes me more thankful for my family here, and to know that they love me, but this is still a shock to the system. So I ask for your prayers for Rodney's wife, Irma. I have never met her, nor talked to her, but she does need prayers through a difficult week.

And to be selfish (and I apologize in advance for my selfishness), I could use your prayers as well - this one hurts.

[Caipirabob]

Prayers and assorted good vibes being sent your way!!!

BUMP!

[mombonn]

Prayer on the way for Irma, and for you. I'm so sorry for your pain.

[marvlus]

My thoughts will be with you and Irma. I feel bad for your loss!

[What Is Ain't]

My heart goes out to your friend's wife and to you.

[Bad~Rodeo]

A ruddy drop of manly blood

The surging sea outweighs,

The world uncertain comes and goes,

The lover rooted stays.

I fancied he was fled,

And, after many a year,

Glowed unexhausted kindliness

Like daily sunrise there.

My careful heart was free again, —

O friend, my bosom said,

Through thee alone the sky is arched,

Through thee the rose is red,

All things through thee take nobler form,

And look beyond the earth,

And is the mill-round of our fate

A sun-path in thy worth.

Me too thy nobleness has taught

To master my despair;

The fountains of my hidden life

Are through thy friendship fair.

[LBGA]

Prayers being sent up for Irma, and for you.

It takes great courage for a black person to be a conservative and there must have been a very special bond between the two of you. I am so sorry for your loss of a good friend.

[pt17]

Our prayers go out to all in Rodney's life.

[Criminal Number 18F]

Please accept my condolences. In the face of such a miserable tragedy they can only be inadequate, but they come from the heart. In reading your message, and Ferguson's, it is clear that I missed something important in not knowing Rodney Lain during his too-short life.

I can't even begin to think of words that I, a complete stranger, can say to comfort Irma. Only that complete strangers, too, feel a sense of shock and loss, and extend their sympathy and their inadequate prayers to her in this trying time.

May the God that created him have gentle mercy on his soul. In the most literal sense, vaya con Dios, Rodney O. Lain.

d.o.l.

Criminal Number 18F

[Paul_B]

Sorry for your loss, Michael. May all involved be comforted. -pb

[Freedom'sWorthIt]

Prayers going up and will be made through the day today for Irma and for you! So very sad to learn this news. God bless you for your friendship to Rodney.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Prayers for all.

[knighthawk]

Prayers are with you.

[JudyB1938]

I am so sorry. Although you didn't mention her, may God help his mama.

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

prayer bump

[Pathfinder]

How sad! We are sorry for the loss. Sending prayer for everyone involved.

[billbears]

My friend, I offer up prayers for comfort and strength for Irma and for you as well.

[Vigilantcitizen]

So sorry, neighbor, to hear about this.

Prayers for Irma and for you.

[Vigilantcitizen]

Prayers needed for a friend, please.

Ping.

[Amelia]

Oh, a former coworker did this a few years ago! I know how much it hurts - and how you wonder if there's something you could have done to make it better.

Prayers for you & for Irma.

[Aggie Mama]

I am so very sorry. Prayers for all involved going up right now.

[deadhead]

Prayers for Rodney, Irma and their Loved ones. God Bless All

[WillaJohns]

I am so sorry. Prayers winging upward for Irma and you and all who are touched by this terrible loss.

[dansangel]

So sorry for the loss of your good friend, mhk. I can't imagine having just seen someone who appeared to be doing just fine and then hearing this awful news. My prayers are with you and Irma.

May God comfort you and Irma in the knowledge that your friend Rodney is in His warm embrace and can be hurt no more. May the Lord give you strength and heal your sadness.

May God have mercy on Rodney's tortured soul. May he rest in peace, Amen.

[Bahbah]

This is so sad. Depression is absolutely treatable. What a terrible loss of a good person. My prayers for Irma that she will find strength in the Lord and know that this terrible event is not of her doing.

[gonzo]

Prayers along. Suicide is always tough for the ones who remain.

Stay well and vigilant, and enjoy life, pal. Go fishin' and talk to yourself. It helps..........FRegards

[pubmom]

Prayers for Irma and for you.

[.45MAN]

Will say some extra today.....

[Ff--150]

Prayers for you and Irma.

[backhoe]

Certainly, done. You just never know for sure the hurt and despair in another person's heart.

[Great Dane]

This is indeed a sad thing to have happen around fathers day, I am so sorry.

Done, will be keeping you, Irma and her family in mind with good thoughts.

[mhking]

I got some advice to drop a note to those of you on my ping list for this one...

I could use your prayers for my late friend's wife, folks...

He was a fellow black conservative, and a good friend...this one truly hurts...

Thanks to all of you who have already sent your prayers and thoughts.

God bless all of you...

[in the Arena]

In my thoughts and prayers...

[stainlessbanner]

mhking, I offer my humblest prayers. It's always a shock to deal with when someone takes his own life - I've gone thru it twice with people around me. Prayers for you, your friend, and his family. Many blessings.

[Vigilantcitizen]

"Stay well and vigilant, and enjoy life, pal. Go fishin' and talk to yourself. It helps..........FRegards".

Great suggestion, gonzo.

Michael, whenever you are ready, I have inside knowledge of some good fishing holes. Just let me know.

[lavaroise]

May your friend learn soon how you are wishing him well. Prayer bump.

[Askel5]

Not selfish at all ... it's the inflicting of suicide on beloved that's the selfish part.

I'm so sorry your friend lost hope and you, his wife and all who loved him have my prayers.

[kcvl]

Prayers on the way for you all...

[MissAmericanPie]

You and his wife are in my prayers, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

[mafree]

Prayers and good thoughts to all of you. My condolences to Rodney's family and may he rest in peace.

[SAMWolf]

Prayers and a bump.

[aomagrat]

Prayers

[CDHart]

Prayers for you and your friends. Very sad, especially when the sun is shining and birds are singing and you know he will never see these again. Perhaps he is in a better place now.

Carolyn

[whoever]

You and this man's family have been added to my prayer list.

May all of you look to Him for comfort and peace now.

[stands2reason]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and Rodney's family are on their way.

[stands2reason]

Depression is a killer. I, for one, am lucky to be alive.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Offering prayers of comfort.

[trussell]

Prayers for Irma and for you.

May God wrap his loving arms around you both, and protect your broken hearts.

[Askel5]

I understand, believe me ... not just suicide attempts but also years of really stupid and self-destructive behavior rooted in rank nihilism and utter disregard for how precious I was to others if not myself.

Part of escaping that hell, however, was dying to self and thinking of others. Not the "It's a Wonderful Life" realization of how much you've meant to folks (I was a stand-offish selfish jerk myself, hardly the stuff of the self-sacrificing Jimmy Stewart). Rather, it's a real appreciation for how much you yet can do to beat the clock and how awful it would be to continue making others suffer.

So, my experience was more or less like that of Scrooge and realizing I wasn't dead already after all ... that there still was time to make the rounds and gift others as best I could after the example of Christ.

I believe modern therapy (and medication) mostly keeps folks comfortably numb and perpetually focused on finding someone or something to blame and/or some means to rationalize or feel "okay" about one's plight as a way of maintenance of the problems they're "dealing with". But, absent a recognition of one's own obligations (and sometimes culpability through lack of self will or other failure), there's really no hope of substantively changing the equation because the person never actually takes control of their own life ... particularly the life of their mind (or soul).

I think history shows that those in control of same are able always to endure the unspeakable in oppression, hardship, torture and alienation that drive others to despair, insanity or suicide. It's true that history is a vale of tears. Better to place your hope in the enduring and true.

My finally letting go of the suicidal bent was rooted in nothing but the realization that was one bit of pain I could spare my folks ... having put them through the wringer for years. It was a start.

[cowgirlcutie]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying that God put His loving arms around Irma and the rest of Rodney's family and friends, like you, who love him and grieve for him. God Bless you.