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Restroom Signs (18 and over language)
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Posted on 06/19/2002 2:50:53 PM PDT by pocat

Just recieved this in an email from a friend. I'm not sure if these signs are actually in the locations stated, but it would be appropriate. Enjoy.

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men ---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" It's "Hi, how are you?" ---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. ---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

To do is to be - Descartes To be is to do - Voltaire Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra ---Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona

Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married! ---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. ---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers ---Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom

Express Lane: Five beers or less ---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him. ---Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hill, CA

No wonder you always go home alone. ---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. ---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. ---Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away. ---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. ---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's get wasted together and have the time of our lives. ---Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? ---The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. ---Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. ---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. ---Revolution Books, New York, New York

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. ---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. ---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 06/19/2002 2:50:53 PM PDT by pocat
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To: pocat
Don't remember where this one came from except that I saw it
on a condom machine years ago. "Don't buy any of this gum.
It tastes like rubber."
2 posted on 06/19/2002 2:55:26 PM PDT by davisfh
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To: pocat
Saw one over a urinal:

"Please don't eat the big pink mints"

3 posted on 06/19/2002 3:18:52 PM PDT by saurus
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To: pocat
Sign over a urinal:

We aim to please. You aim too, please.

4 posted on 06/19/2002 3:27:08 PM PDT by southernnorthcarolina
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To: pocat
My favorite is;

“Veni Veni WeeWee!" – Men’s Room Harvard Club, NYC

BTW been to Greasewood Flats and saw that one too, a keeper.

5 posted on 06/19/2002 3:31:19 PM PDT by TightSqueeze
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To: TightSqueeze
“Veni Veni WeeWee! = "Veni, Vidi, WeeWee"

Can’t even get a damn joke right today. Sheese
6 posted on 06/19/2002 3:36:08 PM PDT by TightSqueeze
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To: pocat
Oohhh naughty language. I best cover my ears!! Please censor this from me!!
7 posted on 06/19/2002 3:37:10 PM PDT by BlessingInDisguise
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To: southernnorthcarolina
We don't piss in your ashtrays, please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinals.
8 posted on 06/19/2002 3:37:33 PM PDT by Freedom4US
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To: pocat
Seen in a construction portapottie:"Here I sit;Tired and dirty; Hiding from the foreman; Till 3:30".
9 posted on 06/19/2002 3:46:54 PM PDT by Lokibob
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To: BlessingInDisguise
I would laf
10 posted on 06/19/2002 3:59:07 PM PDT by BlessingInDisguise
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To: Lokibob
Here I sit broken hearted;
Came to sh*t and only farted
11 posted on 06/19/2002 4:15:57 PM PDT by StACase
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To: StACase
Here I sit broken hearted;
Came to sh*t and only farted

BWAHAHA! Ain't that the truth...

12 posted on 06/19/2002 4:18:37 PM PDT by maxwell
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To: pocat
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle...
Be a sweety wipe the seaty..."

My daughter found this in a gas station in Flagstaff Arizona.

13 posted on 06/19/2002 4:31:27 PM PDT by in the Arena
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To: pocat
"What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. ---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY"

I saw that one in a restroom at Old Faithful when I was a kid.

14 posted on 06/19/2002 4:53:29 PM PDT by Kerberos
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To: pocat
"Our lads are laid, our anchors are weighed, and we're the fools that our mother's made" - stall in an Officers Head onboard the second ship I served on. I wish I could say that I wrote it but I didn't.
15 posted on 06/19/2002 4:57:58 PM PDT by Non-Sequitur
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To: Non-Sequitur
"Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once!"

Seen by me on a men's room stall at U.T. Austin.

16 posted on 06/19/2002 7:56:03 PM PDT by DJtex
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To: StACase
You left out the second stanza:

Thought I'd give it a second chance;

Tried to fart and sh*t my pants.

17 posted on 06/19/2002 8:00:45 PM PDT by Knitebane
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To: pocat
Speaking of bathroom signs. I was in the carribean once, and I don't speak spanish.

Soooo, naturally when I walked into what I thought was the men's room (it was all in spanish, hell I didn't know) and noticed the commodes all had stalls I thought "wow, this is really nice..." and then I noticed how clean it was..

I only realized my mistake when I passed a woman on her way in as I was leaving.

Needless to say, the Managment watched me very closely after that..

18 posted on 06/19/2002 8:09:30 PM PDT by Jhoffa_
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Comment #19 Removed by Moderator

To: monkeyshine
You might need this. I did.
20 posted on 06/19/2002 8:18:47 PM PDT by d4now
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To: Jhoffa_; d4now
I did that at a Beverly Hills department store once. Heck, it was Beverly Hills, I figured all the bathrooms had nice stalls!

On my way out of the stall I caught the eyes of a woman through the mirrow. I must have gotten an extremely embarassed look on my face, because she just got a sort of stared at me with this satisfied smirk on her face... and without word I just slipped out the door. (I finally did find the men's room. To wash my hands, of course).

21 posted on 06/19/2002 8:39:36 PM PDT by monkeyshine
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To: monkeyshine
Huge smile here. Thanks.
22 posted on 06/19/2002 9:24:49 PM PDT by d4now
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To: DJtex
And for those who find this whole bathroom thing unchallenging then try 'doing it' in Japan.

From www.engrish.com .

23 posted on 06/20/2002 3:43:59 AM PDT by Non-Sequitur
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To: Non-Sequitur
When I was in the USAF, stationed in Japan (way back in 1985) I once took a woman-friend out to Yokuska to go shopping at the Exchange electronics store (the best one on the main island).

Before we got there, she had to go weewee really bad. The only toilet (toto, if you need to ask for the location of one) we could find was an old Japanese style. That is, it was unisex, with urinals and a porcelin trench for the toilet.

The door was jammed open, so she made me stand guard outside while she took care of business. We weren't that kind of friends, either, but she was desperate.
24 posted on 06/20/2002 4:33:49 AM PDT by jimtorr
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To: pocat

25 posted on 06/20/2002 4:47:36 AM PDT by DainBramage
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To: pocat
(in a large nasty scrawl)
"I f$@ked your mother!"
(below it in smaller more precise script)
"Go home Dad, you're drunk!"

Seen written on a stall in a men's bathroom:
"My wife follows me everywhere."
Written just below it:
"I do not."
26 posted on 06/20/2002 5:09:21 AM PDT by fnord
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To: pocat
Sighted in a pub in London:

Do not throw toothpicks in the bog. The crabs here can pole-vault.

27 posted on 06/20/2002 5:19:18 AM PDT by strela
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To: jimtorr
The only toilet (toto, if you need to ask for the location of one) we could find

Imagine the distress of Dorothy's dog at seeing Japanese tourists arrive in Kansas. Yipe, yipe, yipe!

28 posted on 06/20/2002 5:23:40 AM PDT by LTCJ
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To: Lokibob
PotraPotty in Maine:

Here I sit on the pooper.
Giving birth to a Maine State Trooper.
29 posted on 06/20/2002 5:37:22 AM PDT by metesky
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To: pocat
"If only my wife were this dirty."

Once saw that written in the grime on a bathroom mirror.
30 posted on 06/20/2002 5:42:45 AM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow
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To: southernnorthcarolina
They're in ALL Waffle Houses
31 posted on 06/20/2002 5:28:32 PM PDT by Chad Bagwell
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To: StACase
That was in the midd school bathroom.
32 posted on 06/20/2002 5:30:51 PM PDT by Chad Bagwell
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To: Jhoffa_
bano= shower

cuarto de bano= bathroom

hombre= man(?)

Yo soy comiendo tu perro= I am eating your dog.

33 posted on 06/20/2002 5:36:08 PM PDT by Chad Bagwell
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To: Chad Bagwell

This just came up in conversation I suppose?

(Oh, hey bob.. by the way..)

34 posted on 06/20/2002 5:40:29 PM PDT by Jhoffa_
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To: pocat
Sign over the urinal at the Wickenburg, AZ municipal airport restaurant:

"Pilots with short stacks and low manifold pressure are requested to stand close to the urinal."

35 posted on 06/20/2002 5:48:12 PM PDT by Taxman
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To: pocat
Seen in a bar in California, a state-mandated sign.

WASH YOUR HANDS.

LAVE SUS MANOS.

It had been altered by someone with a permanent marker to read:

WASH YOUR HANDS. with

LAVE SUS MANOS. and his orchestra.

36 posted on 06/20/2002 5:58:47 PM PDT by LibKill
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To: Jhoffa_
Nope, I just tell people that to see their responce. Pero no comprenden; no tienen clases de espanol.
37 posted on 06/20/2002 6:15:15 PM PDT by Chad Bagwell
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To: Chad Bagwell

Taco Supremo.. With Sour-creem-O.. Yesterday-O cause I'm running $&@*(!% Late-O..

(I learn fast, eh?)

:)

38 posted on 06/20/2002 6:18:31 PM PDT by Jhoffa_
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To: pocat
"God is dead." --Nietzsche

"Nietzsche is dead." --God
39 posted on 06/20/2002 6:28:51 PM PDT by tictoc
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To: tictoc
In the School of Business bathroom at Indiana State University. "Jesus Saves" "Moses Invests"
40 posted on 06/21/2002 7:17:34 AM PDT by wordsofearnest
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To: DainBramage
We have Osama mat targets at the bar I go to. People have actually stolen them. :shudder:

-Eric

41 posted on 06/21/2002 7:25:11 AM PDT by E Rocc
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To: davisfh
Don't remember where this one came from except that I saw it on a condom machine years ago. "Don't buy any of this gum. It tastes like rubber."
My favorite graffiti on a condom machine remains "DEA Uniforms". >:)

-Eric

42 posted on 06/21/2002 7:26:54 AM PDT by E Rocc
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To: pocat
From a public restroom (Loo) in a park in Oxford, England, fall 1978:
You can touch a Nun once or twice
but don't get in the habit!
43 posted on 06/21/2002 2:24:37 PM PDT by Don Carlos
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To: BlessingInDisguise
Along eastbound I-84:

No loitering
Police take notice

44 posted on 06/21/2002 2:32:18 PM PDT by calvin sun
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To: pocat
Dated but funny:

Jimmy Hoffa, ... your shirts are ready!

Sign over Urinal, Rutgers University, New Brunswick NJ.

45 posted on 06/21/2002 2:36:11 PM PDT by tcostell
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To: pocat
"In case of a bombing attack, hide under the urinal-it hasn't been hit yet.
46 posted on 06/21/2002 2:40:07 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell
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Comment #47 Removed by Moderator

To: pocat
"If you can fly it, float it or f&#@ it - lease it!"

Words to live by.

48 posted on 06/21/2002 2:44:19 PM PDT by Hank Rearden
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To: pocat
(Seen in a Unisex Texaco bathroom in NJ)

{scrawled} "My mother made me a whore."
{In different writing} "If I supply the yarn, will she make me one, too?"

And from Pensacola, FL:
"Here I sit, upon the pooper,
Giving birth to a FL State Trooper."

49 posted on 06/21/2002 2:45:11 PM PDT by Malacoda
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To: pocat
people who suck laugh at you. (written by me on my own bathroom wall)
50 posted on 06/21/2002 3:00:28 PM PDT by isom35
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