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Democrats Pounce on Newest Bush Business Scandal
www.bsnn.net ^ | Red Kneck

Posted on 07/16/2002 7:23:49 AM PDT by goliath

Democrats Pounce on Newest Bush Business Scandal

By Red Kneck

 

Above: Congressman Dick Gephardt immediately took to the House floor with proof of President Bush's heretofore undisclosed relationship with a corrupt, family-owned Arkansas oil company. 

WASHINGTON – The scandal plaguing corporate America moved closer to President Bush today with the revelation that official documents appear to show he provided a misleading account of a heretofore undisclosed relationship with a corrupt, family-owned Arkansas oil company. Democrats pounced on the new information claiming it proves that when it comes to cleaning up Big Business, President Bush has more jawbone than backbone.

Mr. Bush’s relationship with Clampett Oil came under scrutiny after repeated investigations into his dealings with Harken Oil failed to damage his approval ratings. Clampett Oil, Inc. filed for bankruptcy last month after revealing it had reported huge accounting irregularities.

Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle has called for a Senate investigation into the president’s relationship with Clampett Oil not only for the potential financial scandal but also for Clampett’s poor environmental record.

“As you may recall,” Senator Dashcle said, “Jed Clampett [CEO of Clampett Oil] was ‘shootin’ at some food when up through the ground came some bubblin' crude. Clearly this reckless use of an assault weapon to shoot at what was most likely an endangered species needs to be looked into. What did the president know about the Clampetts and when did he know it.”

Daschle went on to say he believes the environmental damage done by the bubblin' crude is also suspect, especially in light of the fact that the administration has halted Superfund cleanup activities at Clampett Oil Field #1.

Congressman Dick Gephardt joined with Daschle in calling for an investigation, saying, “Clampett Oil’s connection to Milburn Drysdale's bank and the ensuing accounting fraud must be fully connected to the president, and I intend to make that connection.”

The emerging scandal also caught the attention of former Vice President Al Gore, who commented on it while speaking at the 4-Club exhibit at the Crawdad County Fair in Crawdad, Tennessee.

“While Mr. Bush’s abuse of power and criminal financial activities must be fully exposed,” Gore said, “I am most concerned with Clampett Oil’s exploitation of woodland critters through Senior Vice President Ellie May and the failure of Granny Clampett, as a physician, to support the AMA regarding firearms in the home. Furthermore, Jethro's [Clampett Oil’s CFO] sexual harassment of females is troubling. But most egregious is the Clampett’s use of an old, gas-guzzling, non-pollution-controlled vehicle which is the likely cause of smog and increased medical costs to residents of Southern California .”

The White House refused to comment on the emerging scandal.

© 2002 www.BSNN.net All Rights Reserved. Reposting to message boards or discussion forums permitted only with this message intact. Any other reposting or use is strictly prohibited.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: bush; business; dasshole; fraud; harkenoil; scandal; stocks

1 posted on 07/16/2002 7:23:50 AM PDT by goliath
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To: goliath
That was funny! Thanks for starting my day with humor. That was REAL humor. :) Have a nice day.
2 posted on 07/16/2002 7:28:14 AM PDT by cubreporter
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To: cubreporter
my pleasure
3 posted on 07/16/2002 7:33:02 AM PDT by goliath
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To: goliath
LOL! That's great!
4 posted on 07/16/2002 7:38:11 AM PDT by Pokey78
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To: goliath
In defense of my home state, only Jethro Bodine was clearly from Arkansas (how's that for a defense!). It's likely the Clampetts were from the Missouri part of the Ozarks.
5 posted on 07/16/2002 7:44:41 AM PDT by GraniteStateConservative
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To: Pokey78
My hat is off to you. It took a few moments.

Wonder how many stopped reading early and "mumbled" ill of the Pres..

Have a great day.

Sac

6 posted on 07/16/2002 7:46:07 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: goliath
Terrific - see if you can mainstream this - if it could come from a Democrat either extremely stupid or they were the the with a sense of humor and good Democrat credentials, maybe it could slip by the liberal screeners at one or more of the vrs. electronic and paper mainstream jounalists.
7 posted on 07/16/2002 7:50:06 AM PDT by MarkT
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To: goliath
Wasn't it Clampett Oil that first discovered Texas tea? X'cuse me while I go turn on some Earl Scruggs.
8 posted on 07/16/2002 7:54:08 AM PDT by jumpstartme
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To: GraniteStateConservative
Well in that case, what did Jean Carnihan know and when did she know it?
9 posted on 07/16/2002 7:58:09 AM PDT by goliath
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To: goliath
Oh, and Buddy Ebsen is a Republican-- so it's even more of a scandal.

When Nancy Kulp, the birdwatching Vassar grad Miss Jane Hathaway, ran for a Congressional seat from Pennsylvania in the early 1980s, she only lost when Buddy Ebsen stepped in to actively campaign against her.

10 posted on 07/16/2002 8:23:43 AM PDT by GraniteStateConservative
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To: goliath
WHAT!?

This is terrible!

I knew the Democraps would get him sooner or later.

Never did trust him.

This scandal will cost the GOP in the coming elections.

What's that?

Oh.

.

Nevermind...

11 posted on 07/16/2002 8:28:55 AM PDT by ofMagog
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To: goliath
As, f'Pete'ssake, the Clampetts lived in Beverly Hills!

Commies.

12 posted on 07/16/2002 9:02:57 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: GraniteStateConservative
LOL! That's so true. I forgot about that election. Talk about type casting
13 posted on 07/16/2002 11:24:25 AM PDT by Hillary's Folly
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To: goliath
I loved this, very funny stuff.
14 posted on 07/17/2002 3:57:24 AM PDT by harleyrider
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To: Billthedrill
As, f'Pete'ssake, the Clampetts lived in Beverly Hills!

Commies.

But they did business with that rich greedy Republican S&L owner, Mr. Drysdale.

15 posted on 07/17/2002 5:14:49 AM PDT by lowbridge
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To: goliath
Here I wasw ready to blast the democrats for always being a place to find a clymer, and it turns out to be a very funny bit
16 posted on 07/17/2002 5:21:36 AM PDT by The Wizard
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To: harleyrider
me too
17 posted on 07/17/2002 2:05:35 PM PDT by goliath
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To: The Wizard
your initial response was valid, even though this piece is not. The way they are so willing to get on C-span to blast bush before fulling vetting information makes such a thing thinkable to me.
18 posted on 07/17/2002 2:07:15 PM PDT by goliath
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