Wed, July 17, 2002
I took a day off from work because I felt tired and I think I might have a flu or something. I slept until 11am and then I found out that Ella had left for school without waking me up. She's really sweet. At least I have some time now to write about the concert we went to see last Saturday. It was to start at 7pm so Nikki's mom drove her over to our place at 5pm. She was so pretty, all made up and dressed in her favorite clothes. Her hair was done with lots of little beads which I bought for her birthday and she wore her bell-bottom jeans and cute little T-shirt with a big yellow sunflower on the front. She even wore some lipstick but not too much, and a stick-on tattoo on her shoulder. I spoke with her mom for a while before she left and she said they will fly to Spain on the 2nd of August and will return on the 17th, so from then until her school starts we can go anywhere we want which is great!!
Meanwhile Ella took Nikki to the kitchen and gave her some chocolate ice-cream to eat. Nikki loves ice-cream, it's her favorite desert. When her mom left I joined them in the kitchen and we chatted for a while about the concert and school. Nikki was very excited about the concert because she's never been to a big concert before. The one we were going to wasn't big but she was still excited because she likes the group who was going to play. The group is called Sugar and they're something like Spice Girls used to be. They're not very well known outside [...] but kids here like them.
At one point Nikki said how Ella and me should get married and then adopt her. I thought it was funny and so did Ella but in secret I felt it would be a dream if we could do something like that. We talked about things for almost an hour. It was mostly Nikki asking about Hong Kong because Ella said how she was going there soon and Nikki didn't know where Hong Kong was. I had to remind Nikki that we would be late if we didn't leave that moment and I almost had to drag her out because she just kept talking. She just wouldn't get away from Ella, as if she has a crush on her or something. Maybe I'm just paranoid or jealous because I pay too much attention to what she does. Anyway, we finally left from home at 6pm and it took us another 20 minutes to get there, so by the time we arrived we couldn't get the best places anymore. We were at the back, away from the stage but we could still see what was going on there, and the sound was pretty good so it didn't matter. On one hand, it was good because it was dark and no one paid any attention to us, so at one point I held her up in my arms and we kissed when her favorite song was playing. Unfortunately, she grew up a lot in the last year so I can't hold her in my arms for a long time as I used to before. But we still held hands and danced. It was great and the music wasn't too bad although it's not my kind of music. But I kind of like everything Nikki likes so I didn't mind.
We saw lots of cute girls at the concert, but I really couldn't bother paying too much attention to them because I was there with my little cute sweetie. Only at one point I remember seeing one absolutely stunning girl. I remember her because she was dressed in a sexy short plaited skirt, white shirt and wore her hair in pig tails. She was about 12 I think, and really really hot. She looked like little Lolita. I wish Nikki would wear short skirts sometimes but she mostly has shorts and old cut-off jeans. The sexiest outfit she has is a pair of really tight extra short shorts which she wears with a tight little tank top that shows her tummy, ohh yummy! It even rhymes!
When the concert was over, it took us a while to get out because it was so crowded we could hardly move. Outside was a clear warm night and we decided to drive to the beach and be alone for a while. We needed some quiet after all the noise at the concert and our ears still rang with the music. At the beach we walked until we found a quiet spot away from the people and the street. We sat down and just looked out at the sea and the stars for a while. It was beautiful. I played with her hair, trying to tie it into little braids because it was fun to do and because it was still too early to take her home. It was around 9pm and tomorrow was Sunday so neither of us had anything important to do. Nikki's mom said I should return her home before 11pm because that's her bedtime on weekends and holidays. At one point we were chasing each other on the beach and then we rolled on the sand. It was fun but our hair got all messed up and I had to clean the sand from her hair and clothes before we went back to the car.
On the way back we talked about where we could go when she returns from Spain. I promised her I'll look for something fun while she's away because neither of us know where to go yet. I might even take her to another country. We drove for a while because there was Saturday night traffic so by the time we arrived at her home it was close to 11. I parked the car and she climbed to my side and sat on my lap facing me and then we hugged. I held her really tight as if someone were going to take her away from me and she held me around the neck. The street she lives in is quiet and leafy with tall old trees growing along the footpath so I hoped no one would see us in the car. There aren't many people along that street at that time of night anyway but it still made me uneasy. It was very quiet for a while and all I could hear was hear breathing. I didn't want to move at all. She was so light and warm in my arms and we could have probably spent the whole night like that in each other's arms. Then after some time she moved and I heard her say "I'll write you letters from Spain." It made me smile. I know she doesn't like to write letters so I asked her why and she said, "Because I'll miss you!" I felt as if I was going to cry and we hugged again and I said, "I love you Nikki," and some other things I don't want to repeat here because they would sound too romantic and make me blush :)
I could hardly let her go but when I looked at my watch it was already past 11 and she had to go home. We kissed for one last time and I whispered in her ear I'll call her tomorrow and then I walked her to her door.
On the way back home I missed her so much. I would have given anything to have her with me then at least until the next day. It's only when she's gone that I realize how much she means to me. When I got home, Ella was still working on her assignments. I almost told her everything about Nikki right there but then I stopped and went to bed. I wanted to fall asleep with Nikki in my mind and I tried to imagine what she was doing at that moment. I could almost see her asleep in her little bed surrounded with her teddy bears. I don't think there is anything more beautiful or precious than Nikki.
This might be boring to some but it feels so nice to write about her and what I feel for her. I can't tell this to anyone and so this is the only way I can express it. I'm seriously thinking about telling it all to Ella even if it breaks us apart. I can live with it but I don't think I could live without Nikki. Maybe I'll do it when she returns from Hong Kong, who knows... Right now I still feel sick and tomorrow I must go back to work. I'm not sure what we have planned for this weekend, but it would be nice to go somewhere with Ella and Nikki.
Sick lesbian freak. It's what the homosexual agenda is all about.