Yard-Furniture Law Passes First Vote - Bans indoor furniture on front lawns (Florida city)

Fort Pierce Tribune ^ | August 6, 2002

[Shermy]

FORT PIERCE -- If your lawn is adorned with living-room furniture, you might have just two weeks to remove it or stick it in the back yard, out of public view.

A 3-2 City Commission vote Monday night tentatively passed a proposal to prohibit indoor furniture from being used outdoors.

A final public hearing and commission vote on the proposal is scheduled for Aug. 19. If it passes a vote at that second hearing, it would amend the city's nuisance ordinance.

It's important for people to visit with neighbors from their porches, but only if they're sitting on appropriate furniture, said Commissioner Bob Benton, who supported the measure with Mayor Eddie Enns and Commissioner Christine Coke.

"If we move forward, we need to use common sense," Benton said. "Certain types of [outdoor] furniture are OK. . . . It's just having the right furniture."

Coke said she's lived next door to someone whose outdoor couch set off a "stench."

"I couldn't sit in my back yard," Coke said. "It breeds insects, bugs and mildew, and makes it hard for people to breathe."

Commissioner R. "Duke" Nelson, who opposed the measure with Commissioner Rufus Alexander, said the problem isn't very pronounced. When residents have been asked to move their furniture in the past, they have complied, he said.

"Personal pride and neighborly pressure can cause this to go away," Nelson said prior to the meeting. "To try and legislate it at this time is not needed."

Only furniture designed for outdoor use, like that made of fiberglass or plastic, would be allowed outdoors if the ordinance passes the second vote.

The ordinance wouldn't apply to furniture enclosed by a screen or not visible from the street.

Residents found in violation would receive a letter from the city's Community Response Department, giving them a designated amount of time to remove their furniture.

Those choosing not to comply could face a citation or hearing with the Code Enforcement Board, which would determine a fine

[maxwell]

REDNECK OPPRESSION ALERT

[mystery-ak]

Does this include washing machines?

[speedy]

I think you've found the loophole -- the law only says furniture, not appliances. You have to be an attorney.

[porte des morts]

It's still okay for me to use my plastic lawn furniture in my living room though, right?

And my pink plastic flamingos stay right in the front yard, or else...

[Constitution Day]

REDNECK OPPRESSION ALERT

Hate to tell ya, but Wilson, North Carolina (where yours truly is now typing) did this way back in 1998:

Carolina Couch Controversy: Local busybodies target the front porch by John Shelton Reed

[mewzilla]

=80

Some people just have altogether too much time on their hands.

[nothingnew]

REDNECK OPPRESSION ALERT

Duly alerted and glad I live in the mountains of CO where nobody cares what's on my front lawn dirt and rocks!

(My full size couch (circa 1957) has finally dried out from last winter).

FMCDH

[mewzilla]

They didn't prohibit porcelain, did they? Cuz you know what I'd do...

[PBRSTREETGANG]

-- the law only says furniture, not appliances.

So the rusty refrigerator can stay on the porch where it belongs.

[gov_bean_ counter]

Be sure to leave the seat down.

[maxwell]

They didn't prohibit porcelain, did they?

BWAHAHAAAAAAA! Bro, I have the utmost confidence you can find a suitable pic...

[TomGuy]

Whew! Jake, we don't ha' ta take tha' ole Ford off'en 'em cinderblocks.

[speedy]

Yup, right next to the bloodhound.

[Johnny Shear]

GREAT IDEA!!!

I live in a non-incorporated area...A fairly well populated "Lake Area" and we're PLAGUED by Hillbillys! I would LOVE to be able to enforce laws like these. Send the Hillbillys into the innercity, or the nearest trailer park where they BELONG!!!

[Moleman]

I'll tell ya what, they better not take my dang ole' couch from the alley. Where am I gona drink?

[small voice in the wilderness]

Why make them remove the couches? Then they have no place to sit and view their Christmas lights. In July.

[mewzilla]

J.S., I'd far rather live with your so-called hillbillies, than with a bunch of folks who are so anal and ovine that they eagerly cede their rights to some local housing nazis who tell them everything from what color thay can paint their house to how short their grass has to be. Sheesh.

[Feiny]

HA HA

We used to have couch burning parties! A friend moved into a house that had about 5 couches in the backyard so we would throw keggers and burn them for warmth. After the original 5 were gone, they would pick them up off the street when others tossed theirs out.

[Politicalmom]

Wow,there go the Shaker Wood rocking chairs and wicker....

What a crock.

[ravingnutter]

I'd far rather live with your so-called hillbillies, than with a bunch of folks who are so anal and ovine that they eagerly cede their rights to some local housing nazis who tell them everything from what color thay can paint their house to how short their grass has to be. Sheesh.

I second THAT motion, LOL!

[usconservative]

Does this include washing machines?

Nope. It also doesn't include cars up on blocks with no tires or other missing parts. Whew! At least they'll still have a place to sleep!

[Johnny Shear]

You've neer been around Hillbillys like this...

The kind with guns that get shot off (While drunk) on all major holidays. The kind that use those same guns to shoot into the air in order to scare one of their friends who had irritated them. The kind that have pit bulls who break their chains and attack a family dog that is being walked on a leash. The kind that allow their 4 year old son to go down to the lake front all day by himself because they put a life-vest on him. The kind that park their broken-down cars in their side yards and leave them for years. The kind that INSIST on using your pier to swim and play-on even though they have NO ownership rights. The kind that pick fights with the owners (And force that owner to defend himself with his bare hands...Knocking the drunk OUT and then facing the possibility of a law suit due to the injuries sustained when the drunk hit the concrete with his head) of said piers because they have the GALL to put "No Trespassing" signs and gates on those piers.

Yes...These are ALL true stories that have happened to me over the past couple of years, and No...I am NOT exaggerating.

You literally have NO idea!

Thank GOD it's better now but only after FORCING some of those Hillbillys to move by.......Getting one thrown in jail for an extended period of time after numerous unlawful acts. Killing the dog of one after it had attacked yet ANOTHER dog......Calling child wellfare on another.....And getting yet another's rented property condemed.

And those are just the one's in my immediate area...And they'll come back...Or at least SOME Hillbilly will and we'll have to go through it all again!

Ps....I'm not talking about banning flag poles or anything...Just "Hillbilly Stuff". I think we both know EXACTLY that those things are....

[Zon]

It's important for people to visit with neighbors from their porches, but only if they're sitting on appropriate furniture, said Commissioner Bob Benton

No doubt politicians and bureaucrats will determine what is and is not appropriate furniture. Claiming to protect the people when in fact all they are doing is protecting their unearned paychecks. I guess the bed of nails can only be used in the house. ;^)

"If we move forward, we need to use common sense," Benton said.

You dude, you have already demonstrated a debilitating lack of common sense.

 "Certain types of [outdoor] furniture are OK. . . . It's just having the right furniture."

Perhaps some enthusiastic entrepreneur will begin selling the common-place plastic lawn chairs with politicians mug shoots printed on the seats.

"I couldn't sit in my back yard," Coke said. "It breeds insects, bugs and mildew, and makes it hard for people to breathe."

Notice how Coke goes from being one person to being people. Most likely due to the collectivist trap of we are responsible but no individual is responsible.

[itzmygun]

What's happening to this country? I remember a time when a couch and a refrigerator on the front porch was what life was all about. The man who had that setup was king; his neighbors admired him as a no-nonsense kind of guy who truly understood the meaning of happiness. That man, with a comfy couch, could sit all day and all evening and watch the "goings on." The hole the dog chewed in the cushion held a can of beer and even kept it cold. And there's nothing like falling asleep under the washed glow and rythmic slaughter of the bug zapper - right off the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.

What happened?

Nagging women. Yes, nagging women (Is that all you're gonna do? What time are you coming inside? Pick up those beer cans! You smell like that damn dog! Put a shirt on before the neighbors see! No, you cannot move our TV out there! Are those dead bugs in your hair?). Next thing you know there are gnomes on the front lawn where the metal pile used to be, the bug zapper is replaced with hummingbird feeders, and the patio furniture looks like you should put on a tux before you sit in it.

[shiva]

LOL!!!!!!!

[INSENSITIVE GUY]

You'll have to make other arrangements if you want to lay around and admire that car up on blocks.

[LurkerNoMore!]

svitw... LOL

oph... there's nothing like the look of sofas scattered amid the bluegrass and white rail fences.

[mewzilla]

Actually, we do have an idea. But there are plenty of laws that deal with this kind of behavior already. And plenty of friendly law enforcement folks already on the payroll to enforce them. Draconian beautification regs enacted and enforced by the cultural elite are not needed. And, BTW, around here most of the people we see exhibit your so-called hillbilly behavior have way too much money to be considered hillbillies. Go figure.

[fivetoes]

The reason was different. It was to prevent burning of couches during student riots. The result is the same however, it is just one more point of control. It is designed to see how much liberty people are willing to give up.

I am always amazed at how new laws are constantly being created in order to save us from ourselves. I live in Loveland and I am opposed to sending our council critters to these national conferences of city council members. It seems like every time they return they put on a push to get all cities to get in step with the latest trend that is deemed good for us.

I bet if we find out what went on at the last one somewhere in the propaganda the council members were exposed to is the idea that indoor furniture should be kept indoors.

[uglybiker]

Does this include washing machines?

Those fall under 'recreational equipment', like hot tubs and jacuzzis. Different category.

[Johnny Shear]

Actually, we do have an idea. But there are plenty of laws that deal with this kind of behavior already. And plenty of friendly law enforcement folks already on the payroll to enforce them. Draconian beautification regs enacted and enforced by the cultural elite are not needed. And, BTW, around here most of the people we see exhibit your so-called hillbilly behavior have way too much money to be considered hillbillies. Go figure.

No offense but you don't understand...These are dangerous people. The dog wasn't take care of it because they had no right to make him get rid of it. The drunk has been in jail dozens of times...The cops will come out but the judges keep letting him go. They all know him. He and his friends are REAL treats. And these people have no money. They rent run-down hellholes (Ownded by landlords who are JERKS and just want their 200 bucks per month) and live day-to-day.

And ALL because we're unincorporated...No services to speak of...Just county sheriff service and no enforcement of abandoned cars and dangerous pets. Even though it's densly populated in the very small geographical area we're in. More so during the summer of course. But those people are "Lakers" and GREAT people. (Who, by the way, end up paying a BIG part of the taxes that pay for these Hillbillys schools).

These people are absolutely, positively worthless.

[small voice in the wilderness]

LOL! Grandmothers DO have their own decorating ideas. Mine once took her replaced toilet outside and planted petunias in it. It stayed there a long time. No one knew what to say to her about it. Come to think of it, maybe Christmas trees in July aren't that bad, after all!

[Twodees]

Ha! they didn't say nothin' about pickup truck seats. A lot of ol' boys in Ft. Pierce are chuckling up their sleeves right about now. Wonder what it cost'em to get the language they wanted into that bill? teeheehee.

[Twodees]

I drove an old boy down to Wilson one time to pick up a new Sheetrock boom truck he had bought. Y'all Wilson folks had some of the purtiest couches I ever saw on y'all's porches. I was 'bout to quit Charlotte and come live in Wilson 'til I sobered up some and decided not to. ;-)

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

It's important for people to visit with neighbors from their porches, but only if they're sitting on appropriate furniture, said Commissioner Bob Benton, who supported the measure with Mayor Eddie Enns and Commissioner Christine Coke.

"Dear Commissioner Benton:

"F@%& YOU, @$$HOLE!

"Sincerely,

"Tolerance Sucks Rocks
"Grand Destructor of Homeowners Assocations."

Apologies to the faint of heart, but supreme arrogance such as that practically screams for invective! And no, I did not actually send this to him...yet.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Here, hold muh beer while ah show you what you can do witchyer hillbilly ree-lo-kay-shun program!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Awright, nevah mind. Jus' hold muh beer while ah buy yew a shotgun to drive off them there varmints!

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Here, ah'll gitcha an AR-15 rifle to go with the shotgun...

[Bob J]

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[A CA Guy]

How dare they? Next they'll want all 10 year olds in schools. What nerve! LOL

[stainlessbanner]

white trash bump

[ijcr]

Keep your hair on folks,as a citizen of this fine Burgh, I have read the replies and I am ROFL....why? Fort Pierce is 75% Black.

[womanvet]

The kind with guns that get shot off (While drunk) on all major holidays. The kind that use those same guns to shoot into the air in order to scare one of their friends who had irritated them. The kind that have pit bulls...The kind that park their broken-down cars in their side yards and leave them for years...

I do not have a pit bull, I have an otter hound. He's a h**l of a lot bigger than a wimpy pit bull. And if you don't like it, mebbe I'll throw my couch at you after I shoot off my shotgun to scare the s**t out of you...

grumble, grumble...

D**n city sophistacates movin' out here, spoiling the neighborhood, and then complaining about how we live...

[Constitution Day]

I drove an old boy down to Wilson one time to pick up a new Sheetrock boom truck he had bought. Y'all Wilson folks had some of the purtiest couches I ever saw on y'all's porches. I was 'bout to quit Charlotte and come live in Wilson 'til I sobered up some and decided not to. ;-)

Well actually I live out in Edgecombe County (north of Wilson).
Wilson is where I work.

Up in Edgecombe, I can put all the damn sofas, refrigerators and junk cars I want, wherever I want 'em.
(I just choose not to)

I can shoot my "assault rifle" whenever I want, rev up my old truck REALLY loud and fly my CBF.

God Bless the South! 8^)