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Humor break: Democrats protest mine rescue
Posted on 08/07/2002 6:03:45 PM PDT by Las Vegas Dave
*****NEWS FLASH*****
Washington, D.C.
A Senate Committee composed of Senators Daschle, Clinton, and Feinstein have announced that the rescue of the trapped Pennsylvania coal miners has been cancelled, and the miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be placed back in the mine.
The Senators noted the following violations in the rescue process:
10. Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue site without concern for possible air pollution.
9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it was polluted, and without providing an environmentally safe catchment area for the water.
8. Numerous holes were drilled in the ground during the rescue, without first performing an Environmental Impact study.
7. No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic, and sexual diversity of the rescue workers.
6. The Governor of Pennsylvania was heard to say "Thank God!" during a live television broadcast of the rescue, thereby violating the separation of church and state.
5. Several people at this public, government-supported rescue mentioned praying.
4. The trapped miners did not represent a diversified cross section of American society.
3. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary Clinton were not given sufficient time for photo ops and speech making at the site.
2. The Senate was not given sufficient time to determine whether or not any Republican officeholder owned stock in the coal company, thus being responsible for the conspiracy that caused the mine to flood.
1. No one credited Al Gore with the invention of mine rescues.
"Once a diversified group of miners has been chosen and placed back into the mine shaft, the holes will be sealed, the water will be returned to the mine, and the rescue will then be undertaken again, in an environmentally and politically correct manner," the Committee stated.
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
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To: Las Vegas Dave
Amen!
To: Las Vegas Dave
Sadly, if we don't get off our butts and demand a more responsible government, some of this "stuff" is already part of the American lamestream thought process.
3
posted on
08/07/2002 6:08:50 PM PDT
by
caisson71
To: A Citizen Reporter; ABG(anybody but Gore); acnielsen guy; Angelwood; arazitjh; b4its2late; ...
This is so funny, and so true.
4
posted on
08/07/2002 6:09:14 PM PDT
by
Utah Girl
To: dubyaismypresident; conspiratoristo; Commiewatcher; Pontiac; fone; GOP_Lady; dr.j'sfirst
Ping!
To: Las Vegas Dave
11. The miners were not property screened for weapons by federal authorities before being transported to the surface.
To: Las Vegas Dave
ROFL!
To: Las Vegas Dave
There waiting till after the Pennsylvania governor's election in Novemnber so their won't be an August/September/October suprise.
To: Las Vegas Dave
And no doubt NOT A SINGLE one of a rescue workers was transgendered.
9
posted on
08/07/2002 6:16:18 PM PDT
by
Lizavetta
To: RANDomScout
12). The noise disturbed the lesser spotted night worm
13). Excessive lighting affected the local astronomy group.
14). No environmental impact assessment of the drilling was filed with the appropriate local, state and federal authorities.
15). The rescue team was not appropriately gender and racially balanced
To: Las Vegas Dave
11. Halliburton equipment should not have been authorized for use in the rescue until said Senate leaders had a chance to review any possible conflict of interest violations by Vice President Cheney.
To: Utah Girl
LOL! Thanks for the laugh ping.
12
posted on
08/07/2002 6:23:48 PM PDT
by
McLynnan
To: Las Vegas Dave
I'm danged funny. So I know when something is danged funny. This post was danged funny. Because it's pretty much danged true.
Dang it....
To: Utah Girl; Las Vegas Dave
Funny stuff!
The sad part is that I wouldn't put it past them .... especially if it gave them a chance to go on tv and tell lies about President Bush ...... *sigh*
14
posted on
08/07/2002 6:28:09 PM PDT
by
kayak
To: Las Vegas Dave
phunny!!
15
posted on
08/07/2002 6:34:55 PM PDT
by
lonestar
To: Las Vegas Dave; Constitution Day
It is my understanding that the Department of Labor Relations is looking into this issue of the rescue workers working without proper break time intervals.
Just kidding. Thanks for the laugh!
16
posted on
08/07/2002 6:38:41 PM PDT
by
fone
To: Las Vegas Dave
Finding mine shares in their 401Ks could get them indicted for insider trading...
To: spokeshave
16. The rescue shaft violated OSHA rescue shaft regulations by 1".
To: Las Vegas Dave
Did they put in a wheelchair access ramp after making the hole?
To: habs4ever
Did they put in a wheelchair access ramp after making the hole?No. They had to wait for the hand rails to be installed.
20
posted on
08/07/2002 7:22:05 PM PDT
by
JZoback
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