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Free Republic certifies financial record in accordance with SEC mandate...
one man's opinion.....
| HUMOR
Posted on 08/14/2002 10:24:42 AM PDT by ken5050
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"Fr has no income, pays no taxes, and makes no political contributions. We don't have a PAC, have no lobbyists, have no stock, no stock options, no 40lk," Robinson said. "Though we do have this one guy, JohnHuang2, who I've kind of promised to buy a new keyboard, because he's pretty much worn out his old one. Does that count?"
Robinson reported that FR's inventory consists solely of the good will, energy, and cameraderie of tens of thousands of like-minded Americans who share a common vision of what America once was, and more importantly, can once again become. This made the auditors a little nervous, because we can't ever seem to depreciate the inventory, because it keeps increasing in value each year."
Expenses consist mainly of bandwidth, the cost of various hunks of computer gear, and the daily aspirin necessary to make sure that Robinson's blood pressure stays within limits whenver the latest anti-Freeper screed manages to slip by the audit committee, previously known know as the Admin Moderators.
Robinson did face a few tough questions on the conference call with analysts, especially from I.B. Eschoir, financial correspondent for Salon.com. He asked Robinson repeatedly if there was anything at all in FR's financials that worried him. Robinson did admit that each month, despite his best efforts, FR seems to spend a fortune on cheese. "When I do the general ledger closing each month, on "Search", I find thousands of references and entries for CHEESE, but for the life of me, I have no idea where it goes. Everyone here in the home office hates the stuff. However, the auditors have told me it's not material, that I shouldn't be concerned. "
He did opine that he personally felt it was necessary to certify the financial results before leaving for the FR convention in Las Vegas. " Otherwise, folks might think that we were playing with the petty cash. No way, no how. I've got no use at all for stuff like a $6000 shower curtain, but maybe it might be fun to go to the roulette table and wager on RED and 02 and 04. Those seem pretty close to a sure thing.
1
posted on
08/14/2002 10:24:42 AM PDT
by
ken5050
To: Jim Robinson; JohnHuang2
Heads up
2
posted on
08/14/2002 10:25:41 AM PDT
by
ken5050
To: ken5050
Excellent!
However you left out the Moose.
To: ken5050; BRL
I find thousands of references and entries for CHEESE, but for the life of me, I have no idea where it goes.it's those damn RATS from that other uncertified web site that come over to gorge themselves on sound thought.
4
posted on
08/14/2002 10:43:15 AM PDT
by
mlocher
To: mlocher
I've got no use at all for stuff like a $6000 shower curtain, Might not be a bad idea with all the showers Freepers take.....
To: ken5050; Jim Robinson
Great! You guys keep up the good work. Nice to know FR is such dedicated hands.
Nice to see us step up to the plate even when we don't have to.
6
posted on
08/14/2002 10:45:50 AM PDT
by
ClancyJ
To: ken5050; Grampa Dave; WIMom
Bump!!
7
posted on
08/14/2002 10:56:41 AM PDT
by
EdReform
To: ken5050
financial correspondent for Salon.comHa! But I thought they all transferred to LP!
To: Luis Gonzalez
Info for the Radio Program.
To: agitator
*PING*
To: ken5050
I've bought some call options on FreeRepublic in the futures market.
11
posted on
08/14/2002 2:02:50 PM PDT
by
Faraday
To: ken5050
HAHAHA! Great satire! I understand Jim will be featured on the next "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."
12
posted on
08/14/2002 4:04:31 PM PDT
by
IronJack
To: ken5050
Funny!!!
To: ken5050
Absolutely great, ken! I especially like your odds at the roulette table ...... :-)
14
posted on
08/14/2002 4:12:03 PM PDT
by
kayak
To: ken5050
Great job!
To: ken5050; Dales; Bitwhacker; Dog; Miss Marple; one_particular_harbour; habs4ever
OH KEN!!!! BRAVISSIMO!!!
16
posted on
08/14/2002 4:41:17 PM PDT
by
Neets
To: ken5050
Thanks for clearing it all up. Let's roll . . .
To: Saundra Duffy
http://www.sec.gov/rules/extra/ceocfo.htm#ceo <>
18
posted on
08/14/2002 4:45:34 PM PDT
by
GRRRRR
To: ken5050
lol!
19
posted on
08/14/2002 5:07:00 PM PDT
by
Dales
To: ken5050
LOL! Very good! hahahahahaha!
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