Skip to comments.Weekend vanity... What kind of forum poster are you? (illustrated examples)
Posted on 08/24/2002 7:38:15 AM PDT by KneelBeforeZod
mostly funny site... an artist who made drawings of a ton of internet forum posting archetypes....
2 examples to start you off, not necessarily residing on FR!:
Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.
Weenie is a very sensitive guy, and it angers him that everyone isn't as sensitive as he. A soi-disant male feminist, he not only cares deeply about women's issues, he's concerned about poverty, people of color, gay rights and sea turtles. Weenie strives to be politically correct at all times and is ever vigilant against anti progressive attitudes. Weenie is always solicitous towards the oppressed classes, but will lash out viciously at retrograde brutes such as Deacon and Troglodyte.
Stone Deaf is one of the few truly invincible Warriors because nothing can shatter his impenetrable armor of non recognition. His primitive battle strategy is maddening effective; he simply refuses to acknowledge any arguments he doesn't like. Kung-Fu Master can hammer away with devastating blows, Cyber Sisters can screech in full throat and Profundus Maximus can expound until he drops, but Stone Deaf remains utterly oblivious as he advances his dogged and often repetitious attacks. In the early stages of battle a wide array of Warriors will fling themselves at Stone Deaf, but inevitably they fall back exahusted or lose interest when they see that their best weapons have no effect. His only real enemy is Administrator, who has the power to eject him from the discussion forum.
Rebel Without a Clue
Rebel Without a Clue's deep seated and infantile hostility to authority motivates his random and seemingly gratuitous attacks on list owners, SysOps and anyone else who attempts to maintain a modicum of order and civility in discussion forums. Differing markedly from Rebel Leader, he is unattached to any cause other than petulance for its own sake, and will therefore seldom inspire general insurrection. In his frequent and ineffectual attacks on the established order he will often cite the Bible, or the US Constitution to support incoherent arguments. Rebel Without a Clue NEVER reads forum FAQs, and loudly decries as fascism any enforcement whatsoever of forum rules.
Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth.
"For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as if the barbarians were battering at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed."
Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.
WARNING!!! YOU MUST READ THIS!!! Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not pass it along as accepted fact (in ALL CAPS with multiple exclamation marks). Congratulations, you are recipient 16,747 of today's Urban Myth. CAUTION: Often Klaxon knowingly posts false alarms to foment mischief.
Issues has an issue and she wants it to be everyone's issue. The discussion could be about fondue pots and Issue would rage about the multinational corporate conspiracy to exploit fondue pot workers. Of course, Issues is found among all ideological persuasions - anti-gun mothers, gun totin' mothers, bloodthirsty feminists, troglodyte misogynists, politically correct, politically incorrect, lefties, righties, vegetarians, carnivores, radical Rotarians - it doesn't matter. HINT: An effective tactic to employ against Issues is indifference.
I know this guy! :)
That describes me!
Grenade isn't actually a Warrior, per se, but he is an ordnance so widely employed by combatants that no Flame Warriors guide would be complete without mentioning him. When lobbed into a discussion forum Grenade instantly reduces any semblance of reasonable discourse to smoking rubble and sets in motion the forces of war. Grenade can be loaded with different explosives depending on the forum, but some common detonating materials are Clinton, gun control, homosexuality, Reagan, abortion, taxes, conspiracy theory, the NEA, welfare reform, etc. When beleaguered and facing certain defeat a Warrior can deflect even the most determined attack by triggering a diversionary explosion. Grenade is a particularly destructive weapon when wielded by Evil Clown, Issues, Troglodyte and even Weenie, but almost any Warrior can use it to gain a temporary strategic advantage. Grenade is the preferred weapon of Troller and L'Enfant Provocateur. Eagle Scout has been known to throw himself upon Grenade to save the forum.
I gotta go!