Skip to comments.Need advice regarding our 13-year-old daughter(vanity)
Posted on 09/13/2002 10:41:21 PM PDT by rudy45
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If you are friends with the family of the boy, play it up. Ask your daughter about the boy, using terms such as "How is that fine young man, (insert name)."
Trust me, there is nothing more discouraging to a teenage girl than a parental endorsement. My father did this to a boy he particularly didn't like, and it worked like a charm. My sister still hasn't figured it out, many years later. ;)
If the dude doesn't leave (skidmarks in the driveway) she could tryout as Alannis Morreset (sp?) for MTV.
I like to shoot watermelons in front of the boys. It makes quite an impression.
The real threats get the buddy treatment and I let them see the toys in my garage.
So far the gear head angle has nipped a couple of potential's in the bud
If you have a grease monkey daughter this tack might not be quite so effective.
I guess the question here is, how much attention WOULD you like for this (or any) boy to be giving your daughter? Is this a matter of genuine concern for your daughter's wellbeing, or this just a father's normal feeling of panic over his little girl growing up? Is the boy's behavior dangerously predatory, or is it just an awkward, overzealous first attempt at "courting"? Is your daughter encouraging his attentions? If she is, then perhaps you need to focus your attention on her behavior rather than on the boy's behavior.
I'd say you need to take a closer look at what your real concerns are here......and then act accordingly. (LOL!! Can you tell I don't have any kids? I make it all sound so easy......)
I'm curious -- going on 21 physically or emotionally?
Do you have an inkling of what the messages on the computer, or the phone calls are? What I mean is, is she doing this in the open, or is she trying to keep it away from you.
How about inviting him for breakfast when neither is all dolled up?
My husband used to say that the most protective of fathers were the cut-ups when they were teens themselves --- hence the strictness. LOL! (you devils!)
Getting to know the boy is good.It could work both ways. He can get to know you and respect you also, and that respect will probably be directed toward your daughter.
Open dialogues and plenty of communication. I had one daughter,and 3 sons, who were all teenagers at the same time, (they were all a year apart) and we were constantly talking in the kitchen, when I was cooking, etc. I didn't instigate it, they just came and talked. I understand that the pressures are different now, but back then there were still the drugs and free love stuff, and the skirts up to you know where.
We weren't afraid to say 'no', and the kids knew it. We are all good friends to this day.
After all this, all the aunties and unclies out here will want to know how this all comes out!!
They know the plumbing. They don't know how to tell her what she wants/needs to hear (as a group, exceptions for children of used car salesmen, preachers and others of the ilk). This was all based on the assumption that the girl was'nt a slag or dumb as dirt. Girls with low self esteem are doomed. If you screwed up when she was six now is when you start to pay.