The Schadenfreude Thread

Various Sources ^ | 2002.11.05 | B-chan

[apillar]

"The DU'ers are split about 50/50. Half are moving to Canada. The other half are gonna stay to fight the next civil war, which they claim starts next Tuesday or shortly thereafter."


I'm shaking in my boots....

Even if they do own guns, odds our they lost the key to their trigger locks!

[Chemist_Geek]

Watch for on-duty police guards at polling places everywhere. Watch for stringent new ID requirements at polling places. Watch for instant "background checks" at the polling places for outstanding warrants, unpaid-parking tickets, speeding tickets, etc.

And these are Bad Things exactly how?

Rush is right, about the Left when they're out of power...

[SarahW]

I took a little peek in the wee hours of the morning before the polls opened. I came away with the same impression...

[far sider]

I guess I was struck at how miserable with life they all seemed. Anger, bitterness and fear seemed to permeate from every post... I get the impression that many of them are seriously damaged people who take refuge in blind hatred of Bush.

More likely they take refuge in their bunk beds in the corners of their parents' basements.

[Billthedrill]

Well, inasmuch as their site is now down for maintenance and many of them must be lurking here, all I can say is "begin Plan 115A, comrades!" Now it can be revealed.

I did finally break the crypto on the DU membership database and have uploaded all the names, email addresses, and true identities to Ashcroft's Enemies Database deep in the bowels of the RNC. Once the camps are constructed (think snow and desert, yeah, baby) we can begin the arrests and internal deportations.

We aren't Nazis, of course, so there will be no death camps, just labor camps, the first honest labor most of these folks have ever done. Anyhow, if we have them working in the lead mines we're going to put into all the wilderness areas nature will take care of itself (this would be after we rescind OSHA, of course). Hey, it worked for Stalin in Kolyma.

We can actually cut administrative overhead (and put a few bureaucrats on the breadlines) if we make the welfare checks directly depositable to the bank accounts of the wealthiest 1% of the country. Obesity being the problem it is, we'll have to cut the bread rations for the blue zones, but hey, they've been disarmed, so I don't see a lot of problems with that.

But that's all in the (hopefully near) future. Tonight's a night for feasting - a table groaning under a load of roast endangered species, lit by whale oil and with genuine fur chair covers. The servants should be able to keep the lower classes from disturbing our repast.

Now, what does one wear whilst kicking down doors and grinding the faces of the poor into the dirt? Iron-shod Doc Martens? Is that too liberal?

[Media Insurgent]

good one!

[dead]

DU was the absolute greatest place to be last night. My brothers were over and we were reading their posts out loud, toasting their misery with beer and champagne.

This one has to be my favorite from last night:

Please forgive me--I'm drunk. And I'm very sad. And I'm very, very afraid.

I have a daughter who is about to be born, for God's sake.

Her name is Isabella Grace and she's due on December 26. And she is going to be born into a fascist country. And she is going to be born into a country controlled by a mindless corporate media with no ethics and no notion of truth or goodness or the value of democracy. And she is going to be born into a country which believes it has the right to attack any other nation on earth at any time for any reason it chooses to concoct. And she is to be born into a country which hates people of color. And she is to be born into a country which hates its poor. And she is to be born into a country which hates women.

And she is to be born into an America who believes that George W. Bush and the Republican party are the best hope for our future.

I say we provide active resistance to the theft of our nation. I say we gather in the streets and protest. I say that this nation is no longer America. It can be. It might be, if enough Americans still existed. If enough Americans still believed in the dream.

As I say, forgive me. I'm drunk.

I'm scared to death.

My daughter is coming and I don't know how I will protect her against the horror that my beloved America has embraced.

Either that soon-to-be-born girl's got one whiney, femmy dad or a drunk pregnant mother. Either way, she's doomed.

[Media Insurgent]

Good plan, Herr Oberst. Even as I write this I'm sitting here by a pile of burning books, finalizing my list of enemies who will be liquidated when we have our inevitable "Night of the Long Knives."

[mil-vet]

Thanks for posting the DU tripe - it's an excellent illustration of brainless, amoeba-like humanoids who don't, and never will, have a clue!

As clear as their on-going failure as members of a functional society is and has been, it STILL never ceases to amaze me that they actually believe this way.....

("amoeba-like" refers to their apparent lack of brains beyond the stem which provides the autonomic functions like breathing - they obviously aren't THINKING, so maybe it's simply a physiological problem of no higher brain function).

[GOPJ]

Good one:

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!...oops

Sorry, I meant to say, I feel the Dem's pain.

NOT!!!

[GOPJ]

Good one:

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!...oops

Sorry, I meant to say, I feel the Dem's pain. NOT!!!

[SevenDaysInMay]

Socialists better move on to eastern Canada. Saskatchewan, Alberta, B.C., and Yukon are rethinking the error of resisting 54-40'.

Terrorists and Ottawa's utopian dreams may speed the process.

[Democratshavenobrains]

amoeba-like humanoids

You insult amoebas and humanoids by comparing them to DUhers.

[agrace]

That cut and paste is dispicable. No, that's not even a harsh enough word. The only thing worse that I saw over there (late last night) was a poster cursing God. Actually used the name Yahweh. I physically cringed.

[Snowy]

Either that soon-to-be-born girl's got one whiney, femmy dad or a drunk pregnant mother. Either way, she's doomed.

I can't believe how fragile the DUhs are...

[TopQuark]

Beautiful post! Many, many thanks.

[mil-vet]

Oh, right! My bad.....LOL!

[300winmag]

Even if they do own guns, odds our they lost the key to their trigger locks!

I would suggest to every DUer that they go out and buy a gun. Let them see what our "lax gun laws" are really like.

I honestly wish they would buy guns. That will either teach them personal resonsibility, something they've never yet learned, or clear them out of the gene pool.

I hope somebody here will take that message to DU. I visited once, and after five minutes of reading their rantings, felt so dirty I had to log off and take a shower. The memory of the moral pollution there still gives me the creeps.

[surely_you_jest]

Obesity being the problem it is, we'll have to cut the bread rations for the blue zones, but hey, they've been disarmed, so I don't see a lot of problems with that.

But that's all in the (hopefully near) future. Tonight's a night for feasting - a table groaning under a load of roast endangered species, lit by whale oil and with genuine fur chair covers. The servants should be able to keep the lower classes from disturbing our repast.

*snicker*

[Gumlegs]

In some exit poll that was done in Joisey, a large number of people who voted for the Laut said that keeping the Senate in slimy demonRat hands was a big motivation. HAHAHAHAHA! So now they're stuck with a drooling, senile old crank -- and he's not in the majority!

Ahem. I'm a New Jersey voter.

You're cute when you gloat.