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Wolf recovery has farmers howling
Journal Sentinel on line ^ | Nov. 9, 2002 | DAN EGAN

Posted on 11/10/2002 6:27:17 AM PST by SLB

Grantsburg - It starts after sunset with howls echoing from the black woods at the edge of the pasture.

Then the cows begin to moan.

It is the return of the endangered timber wolf. And for the Fornengo family, there is nothing remotely romantic about it.

These beef cattle ranchers in northwestern Wisconsin say nighttime wolf raids cost them 92 calves last year alone, and they expect similar losses when the cattle are finally tallied for this year.

They say they are being driven out of business - and practically out of their minds - by a wildlife recovery program run amok. When they think of wolves, they see red.

Blood red.

They've found calves with their hindquarters shredded, still alive and trying to suckle. They have stumbled upon a pregnant cow ripped open and her fetus torn out. They have seen calves with crushed throats - dead without losing a drop of blood. Killed, they believe, simply for the thrill.

"You see pictures of (wolves) looking all pretty in the winter, but you don't see pictures of what they do," says Cortney Fornengo, 19. She says wolf numbers have increased so much in the past two years that she no longer will walk alone in the woods around their ranch. "There is a reason the farmers made (wolves) extinct before, and this is probably the reason," she says.

Reviled for their uncanny ability to make life hell for farmers, wolves were shot, trapped, poisoned and eventually eradicated in Wisconsin by the late 1950s. Now, three decades of federal and state efforts to restore the species to the state are starting to pay off - in a big way.

Just over a decade ago, the state was home to less than a few dozen of the deer-loving carnivores that had roamed over from Minnesota's northern timberlands. Today, packs are breeding here with abandon, and their numbers easily top 300.

"I don't know if we ever thought we would be at this point. We figured 100 or 150 wolves may be as many as the state could hold," says Adrian Wydeven of the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.

In Wisconsin's North Woods, the wolves have reclaimed their spot as the top carnivore, but the federal government has yet to formally acknowledge that success.

The wolf in Wisconsin and Michigan's Upper Peninsula is still listed as endangered under the Endangered Species Act, and that means each animal, no matter how problematic for a farmer, is still protected and cared for as if it were worthy of a berth on Noah's ark.

Most wolves live off deer, though some develop a taste for livestock. So as wolf numbers climb, so do problems for some farmers. Last year alone, Wydeven says 17 hunting dogs were also killed by wolves.

Now even the staunchest wolf advocates agree it is time to reclassify the animals as "threatened," which would allow government workers to kill problem animals. Minnesota wolves have been classified as threatened since 1978.

The federal government first proposed the switch for Wisconsin and the U.P. more than two years ago, but the papers have yet to be signed - thanks, basically, to a tangle of red tape in Washington, D.C. One of the problems is that Wisconsin's reclassification is lumped in with a proposal to change protection levels for wolves in the West. That is a highly emotional and political issue, and the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service is proceeding cautiously.

Still, the reclassification should come before year's end, and most expect the species could be listed as officially recovered within a couple of years. That could open the door to limited wolf hunts.

Meanwhile, trapping and relocating problem animals are the only options to help people such as Cortney Fornengo's father, Tony. He says the process is too slow, and there is no guarantee problem wolves won't return in a couple of days.

When it comes to wolves, Tony Fornengo can be an emotional and sometimes foul-mouthed fellow. Some wildlife workers just shake their heads when his name comes up. But people do agree he has a problem that could be fixed with the stroke of a pen.

"I'm frustrated by the slow pace of the (reclassification) process probably just as much as the folks out there with wolves in their pastures," says Ron Refsnider, regional endangered species listing coordinator for U.S. Fish & Wildlife in Minnesota.

Probably not.

As Fornengo pilots his big black Dodge turbo diesel pickup truck across one of the muddy pastures on the family ranch that stretches over more than 2,000 acres and straddles the Wisconsin-Minnesota border north of Grantsburg, he looks past his herd and off into the woods. He knows there are yellow eyes staring back.

He believes government wildlife officials secretly and illegally reintroduced the animals to Wisconsin, something DNR officials say is nonsense. "It's a (expletive) nightmare around here," he says. "Start shooting the bastards, or let us kill them."

He hears howls at night and gets so mad he can't fall back asleep.

He says he is about to adopt a wolf-management policy he says some others in the area already embrace. It's called shoot, shovel and shut up. "It's gotten to the point where I'll take care of it myself," he says.

Warns Refsnider: "There is a risk. A very big risk."

The maximum federal fine for killing an endangered wolf is up to $100,000 and six months in jail.

Wildlife officials acknowledge illegal killings are on the rise. In a recent 12-month period, 15 wolves were found killed in Wisconsin. This fall, four turned up shot in the U.P.

"In the past, we'd probably have one or two shot per year," Wydeven says.

Fornengo insists he is left with little choice but to take the endangered species law into his own hands.

The bleeding, he says, has spilled out of his pastures and into his ledgers, and he is not sure how long he can keep operating the ranch his father purchased in 1953. He says the wolves claimed $50,000 worth of livestock last year alone.

State policy provides for Fornengo and other farmers to be reimbursed for livestock lost to wolves, but state wildlife managers question Fornengo's numbers. Only nine of his losses last year could be confirmed. Fornengo says wolves are such voracious eaters that they often leave no trace of their kill on his expansive ranch lands, which are home to more than 1,200 head of cattle. State biologists remain dubious, but they did agree to pay for about one-third of the family's reported losses last year.

Fornengo sent back the check, hired a lawyer and has vowed to sue.

"I'm just trying to make an honest living," he says.

Back from oblivion

Before he will talk about the issue, Fornengo wants to know one thing: "Are you for the wolf, or against the wolf?"

He divides people into these two camps. His side is by far the underdog.

The wolf enjoys overwhelming support across America. Maybe it's because the creatures have been gone for so long they no longer seem so big and bad. Maybe it is because people today have a greater appreciation for all aspects of the environment, even the messy business that goes on at the top of the food chain.

Maybe it's because the closest most people ever get to one of the beasts is a glossy magazine photo.

Sitting on a bar stool in the North Woods city of Spooner, well driller Chris Lindstrom says it is simply a matter of respecting Mother Nature.

"We have coyotes. We have fox. We have fishers. We have a lot of predators in this area," he says. "It's nice to have the wolf around . . . you've got to have balance."

Not everyone is so tolerant. Gilman's Lawrence Krak has fought wolf recovery for years. He doesn't believe the species ever was endangered, given its numbers in Minnesota and Canada. He considers the recovery a make-work project for federal biologists. As for the wolves themselves, he says, "We got along just fine without them."

For others, the animals have become, quite literally and simply, a matter of fact.

Asked what she thinks about the creatures, Radisson gas station attendant Amy Rynda replies, "They're around. That's all."

It is a testament to a wolf recovery program that has been, by most accounts, a wild success.

The wolf was among the first protected following passage of the 1973 Endangered Species Act, and not long after that, they began to roam over from northern Minnesota and slowly began to recolonize Wisconsin forests.

Today biologists count 323 animals inside state borders, and the actual figure likely is higher. The U.P. has a similar number.

The key to the recovery?

"Just quit shooting them for a while, and let them do their thing," says Martin Smith, a biologist for the conservation group Defenders of Wildlife.

Perhaps their natural return is the reason so many people in the northern Midwest have been so willing to make room for them.

It was a different story out West.

In 1995, the federal government embarked on a controversial program to capture Canadian wolves and drop them in the wilds of central Idaho and Yellowstone National Park.

Network television news loved the story, but many Westerners saw the reintroduction more as a chance for the federal government to flex its muscles than as an attempt to save a species.

It didn't take long before some of the animals started turning up dead with bullet holes in them.

Now, almost eight years later, populations in both Yellowstone and Idaho continue to grow. While rules do allow problem wolves to be killed, hard feelings about the transplant linger.

Stanley, Idaho, hunting guide and outfitter Ron Gillett opposed the reintroduction but says he decided to give the wolves a chance when they first arrived. Their population in Idaho has since blossomed from a handful to hundreds, and he says it is ruining ranching and killing the elk hunt upon which his business depends.

He has sympathy for people such as Fornengo who are trying to cope with a creature Gillett refers to as a "land piranha."

"If I ever go to jail, it will be because of wolves."

Fur flies

Wildlife officials like to say that understanding the science behind an environmental problem and finding a solution to it are the simple parts. Problems occur when that science collides with human interests.

That's when the fur flies. That's where the wolves could be headed as their numbers climb.

"We've built up a store of goodwill in this state toward the wolf," says Eau Claire wolf advocate Jim Olson, a retired college professor. "That is gradually eroding as we get more and more depredation kinds of issues."

State wildlife managers are scrambling now to keep a handle on the burgeoning species. With federal rules prohibiting killing wolves in all but the most extreme cases, such as when a human life is threatened, biologists are playing an elaborate game of musical chairs. Dozens of animals this year have been trapped and transferred around the state.

Recently, an entire pack was shipped to the Menominee Indian reservation located about 40 miles northwest of Green Bay.

"We're running out of places to relocate problem wolves, and we're starting to run the risk that relocated wolves could cause new problems in other locations," says the DNR's Wydeven.

Just last week, one of the wolves that plagued the Fornengo farm was relocated to central northern Wisconsin.

The DNR planned the release for late afternoon to lessen chances that someone would stumble upon the creature while it was in a drug-induced stupor.

The biologists were worried it might get shot.

Their worries were not unfounded. Their dream of restoring the wolf to the North Woods has been realized, but the fear exists that a public relations nightmare could be in store for the animal if the government doesn't move to strip its endangered status.

Some wildlife managers may not like Fornengo's feisty attitude, but they know he has a legitimate problem.

"It's way beyond time" to begin killing problem wolves in Wisconsin, says David Mech, a senior research scientist with the U.S. Geological Survey and perhaps the world's foremost authority on North America's wolves.

"I worry," says Mech, who has worked to recover the wolf for more than three decades. "If we don't handle it right, and if the government doesn't respond to people's needs by delisting the wolf and by letting appropriate management tools be used, then there will be an increasing backlash."


TOPICS: Canada; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; US: Idaho; US: Michigan; US: Minnesota; US: Montana; US: Wisconsin; US: Wyoming
KEYWORDS:
Now there is a program to introduce the Red Wolf at Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky. I have seen the results of introducing them in Wyoming, Montanna and Idaho. Not saying it can't be done, but it sure needs to be supervised closely. The federal government needs to stay out of the wolf business.
1 posted on 11/10/2002 6:27:17 AM PST by SLB
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To: SLB
Does anyone know the efforts to re-introduce the wolf in Adirondeck state park in NY?
2 posted on 11/10/2002 6:36:44 AM PST by inspector
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To: SLB
"Wildlife officials like to say that understanding the science behind an environmental problem and finding a solution to it are the simple parts."

So what problem would the re-introductiion of the wolf solve? It seems to me that the established environmental fact is that the habitat does not support the wolf or it would be there.....
3 posted on 11/10/2002 6:55:13 AM PST by Plain Old American
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To: SLB
This is part of the war on Rural America. They are going to drive us all off the land.
4 posted on 11/10/2002 6:58:03 AM PST by B Knotts
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To: SLB
Now there is a program to introduce the Red Wolf at Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky.

Thanks for the post. Have bookmarked for reference

We don't need the Red Wolf in Kentucky. They won't remain where introduced but will spread much like the Coyote has. Then we've got a serious problem essentially statewide.

What can be predicted is hikers or campers are going to be attacked. Perhaps that's what the Greenies are counting on to keep people out of large protected areas? Wouldn't surprise me.

We may find life becomes more exciting for those of us who hunt varmits. A new adversary.

5 posted on 11/10/2002 7:01:09 AM PST by toddst
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To: SLB
They are certainly magnificent animals. See nothing wrong in having preserves for them but once they leave; they are fair game.
6 posted on 11/10/2002 7:07:51 AM PST by Eternal_Bear
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To: Plain Old American
So what problem would the re-introductiion of the wolf solve?

The problem of having yet another tool to use for land control purposes.

Also sentimental city types who aquire their understanding of nature from the discovery channel get to feel all warm and fuzzy.

7 posted on 11/10/2002 7:11:31 AM PST by AAABEST
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To: AAABEST
I think they should spread the wealth around. Lets reintroduce the wolf in Central Park, NYC. No elk to feed on but it should help with the homeless/wino population problem.
8 posted on 11/10/2002 7:25:58 AM PST by Movemout
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To: SLB
Destroying the cattle industry was the major reason behind this in the first place. The hatred of environmentalists for modern food production is legendary. They frequently like to talk about the necessity of reducing Earth's population by 80% through the control of food production. Simply put, their intention is to starve 5 billion people to death.
9 posted on 11/10/2002 7:49:53 AM PST by Seruzawa
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To: Movemout
I'll second that - but let's add them to the Beltway as well. As for the ranchers, I'd suggest a good long range rifle with a supressor and a third generation night vision sight. Shoot silently in the dark, bury in the morning.
10 posted on 11/10/2002 7:49:57 AM PST by 11B3
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To: AAABEST
"Also sentimental city types who aquire their understanding of nature from the discovery channel get to feel all warm and fuzzy."

I would bet that the die hard greenies would probably love to see a wolf pack on every ranch and in every maternity ward. IOW, this is a nother appeasement to the Green Terrorists who wish to destroy this country for their own suicidal intents.
11 posted on 11/10/2002 7:50:51 AM PST by Dr Warmoose
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To: SLB
Yes, yes! I've heard that they through babies on their bayonettes!
12 posted on 11/10/2002 8:01:17 AM PST by Born to Conserve
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To: Movemout
Great idea, they would definitely thrive on Central Park cuisine and create a whole new meaning for "lets do lunch" on Wall Street. Our Rocky Mountain lupines would be far better immigrants than some of the other wingnuts trying to cross our borders.
13 posted on 11/10/2002 8:21:55 AM PST by albertabound
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To: albertabound
Yup! The joggers would have additional impetus to keep up a fast pace. It would give the gang bangers something to shoot at besides each other. There are all kinds of positives.
14 posted on 11/10/2002 8:25:21 AM PST by Movemout
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To: albertabound; SLB
Please lets not forget to reintroduce the wolf to Boston and Cambridge Commons in Massachusettes then of course to the New Haven Green in Connecticut so some of our benighted Ivy Leaguers can experience the joys of seeing a wolf in the wild close up. This will give the Wolves a chance to sample ivy league activist cusine.

Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - yorktown

15 posted on 11/10/2002 8:37:29 AM PST by harpseal
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To: inspector
Just what I need. I lose enough calves to the coyotes. This was the first year I had coyotes come around while I was haying. They don't have much fear of people any more. Makes them easier to shoot, though.
16 posted on 11/10/2002 8:37:54 AM PST by Nonfaction
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To: SLB
I believe there is a solution to the reintroduction of the wolf in my state. It's called shoot and shovel. Just another example of our tax dollars at work through the wisdom of the uncontrollable DNR.
17 posted on 11/10/2002 8:45:21 AM PST by giznort
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To: Plain Old American; NorCoGOP
"You see pictures of (wolves) looking all pretty in the winter, but you don't see pictures of what they do," says Cortney Fornengo, 19.

Allegedly do, Miss Fornengo. Nowhere in this article did it EVER say "I SAW THE BIG BAD WOLF DO THIS OR THAT"...

EVERYONE knows it's the saucer people who do the cow mutilations... 'cause I ain't buying the argument that those wiley wolves are eating the ENTIRE calf, especially to the point they are completely gone and nothing provided to the guvment for compensation. The wolves would look like gorged Puffins..

All kidding aside, National Geographic had a tape on the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone, and you can actually see the difference between a puny coyote (which was the top of the food chain) and a pack of wolves.

Yes, they do roam, without concern for "Park Boundries". And the cattlemen are just as pissed at wolves as they are with the damn bison that spread disease. BUT IN THE BIG PICTURE, only the wolves can take down an elk.

Not sure if the deer population in Minnisota or Wisconsin is spreading to the point where the wolves are needed. It's not like they can allow people with GUNS to take care of things. I believe it's more of a sickness/age thing, where the wolves take out the elderly/infirmed in the South Park Manner: You know, "Thin out their numbers"..

18 posted on 11/10/2002 8:59:21 AM PST by Pookie Me
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To: Movemout
Oh, you're bad. Bad, bad, bad. Very bad.

I have a suggestion. Move them to San Francisco instead!
19 posted on 11/10/2002 9:05:21 AM PST by Billy_bob_bob
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To: Billy_bob_bob
The meat in SF is tainted. The wolves probably would not survive.
20 posted on 11/10/2002 9:14:48 AM PST by Movemout
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: giznort
I believe there is a solution to the reintroduction of the wolf in my state. It's called shoot and shovel. Just another example of our tax dollars at work through the wisdom of the uncontrollable DNR.

That's the first thing I thought of when I read the article. "Shoot, Shovel and Shut Up." This was the advice from our game warden when we had a prob with beavers and asked him to trap them for us. There are also alot of exotic animal farms around our area... and I've seen puma and wolves roaming our property. The word is, that the owners of these farms will release animals when they have too many to care for and can't get rid of them.

22 posted on 11/10/2002 9:26:14 AM PST by LaineyDee
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To: SLB
There is supposed to be compensation paid for the livestock lost to the reintroduced wolves in WI, $1K/per cattle. This story is very fishy. Mr. Fornengo must have recieved a significant part(almost all and more likely more) of that $50K loss, or he'd definitely be out of his farm. That $50K approaches 50 cattle. I did hear the DNR was using the compensation money for new cars, ect...

If the greens want to hear howling and such, they can afford to pay to feed their performers. Else they should shut up when other folks fling lead at 'em. Seems all the pot lickers like to band together to protect their endangered enterprises.

23 posted on 11/10/2002 10:35:43 AM PST by spunkets
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To: SLB
"We have coyotes. We have fox. We have fishers. We have a lot of predators in this area," he says. "It's nice to have the wolf around . . . you've got to have balance."

It's NICE to have the wolf around? You numbskull!!

You obviously don't care for human life.

The guy I know who came upon a wolf munching on the still-warm remains of his 8-year-old son would probably disagree with you.

24 posted on 11/10/2002 11:03:34 AM PST by nightdriver
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To: Quixdraw4440
Perhaps these wolves need help being relocated in numbers to lib surburban areas.

Politicians neighborhoods ---or the environmentalists. Let them have to keep their own kids locked up all day.

25 posted on 11/10/2002 11:11:53 AM PST by FITZ
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To: SLB; AuntB; comwatch; Carry_Okie; SierraWasp; Jeff Head; madfly; MadIvan; Alamo-Girl; ...
Dangers of the ESA being exposed.....I strongly support shoot, shovel, and shut up.

This article points out the danger when the greenies and the NGO groups ramrod BS down people's throats.

26 posted on 11/10/2002 11:13:39 AM PST by Issaquahking
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To: AAABEST; sfwarrior
I can't resist. I love reading this piece almost as much as I enjoyed writing it.
PETA & the Wolf

©2000 by Mark Edward Vande Pol
Republication by permission only

People have an odd sort of affinity for the wolf born out of a sense of human frailty, over that thinnest of veneers, restraining the animal within us. It is that slightness of difference between the fiercely wild and the faithful domestic that is so reflective of our own, perilous spiritual journey between violent hedonism and peaceful civility. The wolf is an archetype of the internal turmoil of life, vicariously lived in spontaneous freedom.

As you are probably aware, the US Fish and Wildlife Service is engaged in a program to reintroduce the Mexican Gray Wolf throughout the Southwest. As you might suspect, it has been no surprise to anyone that this has been a controversial exercise. Wolves can do a lot of damage, and it can be pretty gruesome, sometimes even dangerous. They eat a lot, and that to do that, they kill things. Wolves enjoy killing things, especially when they run away.

Ranchers, farmers, and townspeople had this programme shoved down their throats along with all sorts of civic promises that have yet to materialize. They were promised full compensation for lost livestock, and were met with a pittance after a series of ridiculous bureaucratic loops. They were promised that the wolves were shy and would avoid human settlements, which hasn’t proven true either. They were told the wolves would remain within a limited range as long as there was adequate food, and they have strayed for many miles instead. They were told that the wolf would improve the herds of elk, and instead they are decimated. The government has promised these things without accountability, and it is time that the accountability should be properly affixed. The technology already exists.

The citizens of the Southwest should demand that the government develop shock collars triggered by the Global Positioning System (GPS) receivers to keep the wolves on their range. GPS is already used for tracking their movements. If the wolves wander off government land, they would be nailed by the collars until they turn back! The US Forest Service and Fish and Wildlife Service employees that love these wolves so much can then spend their time running after the wolves changing batteries on shock collars or else face a lawsuit for gross negligence when a child is eventually attacked and killed in a schoolyard. Only when they think they have solved the problem, will they discover…

The Law of Unintended Consequences .

Let’s leap forward in time with a flight of fancy, and see how it all worked out.

After a number of years of repeated battery changes, the wolves of the Southwest had figured out that they sort of liked the effects of being shot in the haunches with darts full of Phenobarbital. They started hanging out nearer and nearer human settlements, further from their game and risking increasing numbers of shocks; in order to be nailed in the rump by a dart gun, to be followed by a warm and numbing stupor.

PETA sued USFWS and demanded sensitivity training for all USFWS employees and a research programme to end the use of drugs. They demanded rehabilitation and drug treatment programs for the wolves. To reduce the incidence of human interaction, the reintroduction programme area would have to be expanded to include all of Texas and connect through Colorado to the realm of the Northern Gray. The labor union for the Immigration and Naturalization Service sued the USFWS because the wolves were hindering illegal immigration, displacing jobs, and not paying dues.

Because of the expanded scope of the programme required to treat addicted wolves (and fourteen years of general recession), the USFWS was still complaining to Congress of a lack of university trained certified wolf-psychologists. The level of funding to retrain the former INS agents as canine drug-counselors was insufficient to run the programme. The drug manufacturers worried about the associated liability and raised prices on tranquilizer darts dramatically. There was no domestic supplier. Without a guarantee of indemnification, and tired of late payments on the now insurmountable trade deficit, Sandoz and Novartis, the Swiss suppliers of tranquilizer darts, refused to deliver their usual shipments without cash payments from the American government, up front.

When deprived of their regular fix, the wolves became strung-out and violent. Some of them suffered seizures and convulsions from barbiturate withdrawal. In a fit of such rage, one alpha male, instead of issuing a normal correction and maintaining the usual pack-discipline, attacked an innocent bitch and instead got hooked into the collar of its dying victim. This noble animal subsequently died of starvation nearly seventy miles away from the original incident after over a month of unbelievable cruelty, unable or unwilling to feed off the carcass of its fallen mate. The National Geographic cover page brought home the graphic evidence: the futility of humans arrogantly presuming to manage the wild.

Several months later, a PETA consultant was brought in to solve the problem. Together with a new infusion of FWS employees and former INS agents (now canine drug counselors), the PETA principal convened an evening séance around the campfire. While the swirl of various sorts of smoke infiltrated their Gnostrils, and as the sound of drums throbbed in their chests, the PETA infiltrators on the FWS were suddenly infused with an inspirational, consensus vision. They Gestalted that their spiritual kinship with the wolf, under the watchful eye of Gaia would allow them to approach the wolves to change the batteries without the aid of tranquilizer darts! It was to be a spiritual test of personal self-control, to approach the wolves without fear, lest the scent of anthropocentric terror arouse the prey drive of their brothers. The humans howled with the call of communion and donned their lambskin blankets as a token of their peaceful community with their spiritual brothers. (The hides had been willingly surrendered by the local ranchers, as a penalty for having introduced non-native sheep. Curiously, they were only too happy to help. It was nice to see them so cooperative and cheerful.)

Upon their approach, the wolves startled from their sudden slumber. Amid the confusing aroma of sheeple and suffering the lack of their usual offering of tranquilizer darts, they interpreted this event as both an impending fix and an offering of dinner. They responded entirely logically toward their PETA/USFWS benefactors. It was a hideous sight, the fury of the wolves and the cries of human death echoed in the silence of night in the desert, until suddenly, all hell broke loose with the sound of shooting.

Among the consensed was a young FWS ranger, a rather pluckish girl who had undergone a sudden attack of mechanistic thinking before breaking camp. She had spiritually fallen to question her ability to approach the canids fearlessly while smelling like lunch. After a liberal dosing of musk, she had donned her Kevlar flack jacket (usually reserved for negotiations with willing sellers) and slipped her standard issue 9mm Glock under her garment along with an extra clip in her boot. Upon the attack, she closed her eyes into her tears, and started to fire.

Although the slaughter she witnessed wasn't fatal to her, the destruction of the wolves, the loss of her comrades, and her shameful fear for such spiritual weakness, not to sacrifice herself to the bosom of Gaia, drove her to suicide. She was a single mother with two children. National mourning ensued for the wolves amid celebration at her spiritual contrition and self-sacrifice for her many crimes among which was her darkest secret, now made public. She was a breeder. Pregnant with two kids - how unthinkable! She deserved to die.

The rest of the USFWS employees suddenly unionized with the INS agents, demanding safer working conditions and better batteries for shock collars. The now ravening and overpopulated wolves had attacked a Hollywood set, killing three little pigs during the on-location filming of the sequel to that Oscar winning eco-documentary, "BABE in the Woods". In a sympathy action the Grips walked off the set and demanded rabies shots. The Disney Company filed a complaint through the People’s Assembly to the UN Security Council.

Meanwhile, the former property owners in the Alamagordo internment camp who had been serving time for hate speech delivered to a FWS Battery Replacement Technologist, made bail when the recovered collar was found on the now, long dead canis. Their attorney, Alan Derschowitz discovered the key to breaking the government's case. He was able to prove that the battery terminals were indeed backwards. Thus the term 'backwards idiot', instead of a hurtful epithet toward a selfless global citizen, was intended to be a helpful suggestion regarding a poor career choice. PETA still demanded a retrial with the Death Penalty, complaining that the former property owners had gotten off on a technicality. The court conceded, giving the hapless landowners instead their choice of community service parole: security duty in Zimbabwe, or census-taking in the South Bronx.

Facing certain death upon their “release”, and prior to the beginning of the sentencing phase of the new trial, INS-FWS union activists staged a breakout of the landowners. Together they high-tailed it en masse, for the nearby spas in Taos, NM to take hostages.

With the situation in New Mexico getting out of hand, the Michael Eisner Foundation had insisted that the UN hold a special collaborative summit at Taos. The spas had been recently commandeered as an attractive nuisance after the facility had been quietly bought up by a multimillionaire gay marriage counselor years before. The good doctor had diversified operations into the Universal Center for Political Consensus (UCPC). The stakeholders at the meeting were from the Department of Stake, the USFWS, the INS, the facilitators were to be former President Clinton, and a an anonymous party, a broad.

The harmonization of the convention was shattered by the sudden attack from the landowners and turned onto an ugly international incident when the, by then, starving wolves joined the fray. The Russian Ambassador met his Maker in a particularly cruel fashion when he tried to fend off a 70 kilo alpha male with a bust of Alan Gisburg. According to the coroner’s report, Mr. Clinton died of natural causes. Madeline Albright speaking from Prague, issued a statement to the effect that it was just a case of a bellicose Ambassador taunting a wild animal with the closing comment, "The wolves were there first." She demanded the Russians apologize by sending a supply of bears with which to augment the diversity of indigenous stocks and to control the marauding wolves. Meanwhile, a column of Chinese led Mexican regulars headed toward Taos.

Upon receipt of the final report, the USFWS began collaborating with Lockheed under contract to produce a tranquilizer dart that holds enough Vodka to stun bears, but the program stalled in disputes over cost overruns and a lack of raw material for field trials.

When a Chinese auditor from the IMF found the vodka discrepancy on the books, President Gore offered him a free trip to Taos to investigate. The bean counter is now at Memorial Sloan Kettering undergoing painful rabies treatments due to an encounter with a renegade band of infected USFWS employees, apparently hanging out at the now deserted spa, convinced that they were themselves brethren of the Wolf.

China declares war.

Now, to show you that life imitates art, this was posted in NewsMax.com.
Saturday May 27, 2000 12:51 PM EST

Federal Agents Help Ted Turner Round Up Wild Wolves

Jim Ridgeway, writing in his "Mondo Washington" column for the Village Voice, details "one of the sickest wildlife programs in recent memory."

Hold on to your seat belts for this one.

Ridgeway reveals that you, the taxpayer, are forking over big bucks for a project to capture wolves that prey on cattle.

No cowboys riding horses and swinging lassos here.

According to Ridgeway, the wolves are "being rounded up by helicopters manned by federal agents armed with dart guns."

The story gets worse.

After the federal agents have "darted" the wolves, they are collected and sent "to media mogul Ted Turner's Flying D Ranch south of Bozeman, Montana, where they are to be fitted with electric shock collars."

Once fitted with such collars, the wolves are tested and put near the cattle. Anytime they go near the tasty cattle - zap!!! - they are hit with an electronic jolt. [Where are the animal lovers on this one? Sounds like a very cruel thing to do to animals.]

The Pavlovian belief is that wolves will "learn" to stay away from cattle.

If they don't "learn," the federal Fish and Wildlife Service and Turner plan on killing the wolves en masse. [This would make a great CNN special.]

Ed Bangs, who heads the project for Fish and Wildlife, tells Ridgeway, "We're going to try to teach these wolves that livestock aren't prey items."

Sounds great, but whose going to teach Uncle Ted and the feds the American taxpayer isn't easy prey either?

It doesn't get any better than this.
27 posted on 11/10/2002 11:38:01 AM PST by Carry_Okie
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To: Carry_Okie
OK ranchers, listen up. The Rottweiler, which is now an urban gangsta pet, was originally bred as a cattle guard dog.

This wolf-threat could be the answer to all our problems in the inner city. Every rancher could have 10 gangstas and their Rottweilers, not to mention the loud radios.
In a few short weeks the troublesome wolves would either A) learn to stay away from cattle, B) Be deaf, or C)or die laughing. To head up this effort, I nominate Al Gore.

28 posted on 11/10/2002 12:29:10 PM PST by Francohio
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To: Carry_Okie
Hehe.

I believe the 2nd true story is actually more absurd than the 1st fairy tale. We have a government gone completely mad.

29 posted on 11/10/2002 12:50:54 PM PST by AAABEST
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To: LaineyDee
We had an interesting wildlife ruckus last month. Seems some hunters saw a baby black bear in a tree. The mother bear was nowhere around and they were concerned enough to call the Fish and Wildlife ranger to come and rescue the little fellow. The ranger showed up, calmly shot the bear out of tree where it took some time to die. He then threw the dead cub into his truck and drove away. The guy caught hell from the furry animal huggers, the libs and the lib media who demanded the ranger's hide, but he is still doing his job protecting animals. He said, quite rightly, that the cub alone would have died anyway.

Wolves are another matter. The shoot, shovel and bury method works wonders.

30 posted on 11/10/2002 12:59:30 PM PST by Paulus Invictus
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To: giznort
shoot and shovel

Careful. If you shoot, either make sure the critter doesn't have a radio tag, or drop it off on some neighbor you don't like LOL

31 posted on 11/10/2002 1:14:25 PM PST by VetoBill
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To: VetoBill
drop it off on some neighbor you don't like LOL.

Toss it into a Fish and Game truck.

32 posted on 11/10/2002 1:25:20 PM PST by Carry_Okie
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To: Francohio
I read a story not too long ago where the wolves tore TWO Rotties to pieces!

I used to love wolves. Now I hate them. And, YES THEY DO KILL PEOPLE. I don't want to take the time to look up the links, but if somebody cares, they can. It's true. WOLVES KILL PEOPLE! Let alone domestic animals.
33 posted on 11/10/2002 2:09:52 PM PST by JudyB1938
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To: Paulus Invictus
He said, quite rightly, that the cub alone would have died anyway.

Quite right. What irks me about the animal right's activists... is that they put an animal life at the same or higher level as a human being. I love animals too... but the reality is that we have to set priorities in the scheme of life. God said that we are to have dominion over the beasts of the earth.....and to use them for work/food. I don't mean that we should slaughter everything else needlessly or neglect them.... just know their place in our lives. Except for opossum. They're fair game for target practice. *chuckle*

I'll never forget a blurb on the news I saw several years ago. Some wise-guy was going to make a public spectacle of smashing a live rat with some kind of invention he came up with. Several PETA members showed up and chased the guy down the street to KILL him. He took the rat to the shop where he'd bought it and ran away. Some flake who'd been chasing the guy... went in to the shop and bought the rat, then bragged he'd saved it's life...ya-dee-da. My question was...WHY didn't he buy the rest of the snake food that was in the shop? He could have saved a hundred! Good grief. Makes you wonder if stupidity has reached a new low.

34 posted on 11/10/2002 2:25:42 PM PST by LaineyDee
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bttt
35 posted on 11/11/2002 2:52:01 PM PST by Tailgunner Joe
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To: VetoBill
"If you shoot, either make sure the critter doesn't have a radio tag, or drop it off on some neighbor you don't like LOL"

I've heard rumors of said radio tags being found attached to logs thrown in the river...just a rumor.
36 posted on 11/11/2002 2:59:30 PM PST by Jesse
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To: Francohio; spunkets
You two seem to be the only ones not getting hysterical.

Dogs, donkeys, or s/s/s are all options.

This compensation thing does sound awfully fishy. I know for a fact that dead cattle are often left out in pasture for the next storm so they can be claimed to insurance as lightning kills. Im sure the same is happening with this. Sounds a bit too much like the "gotta shoot dem loose dogs cuz dey chase da deer" mentality.

37 posted on 11/13/2002 12:50:56 PM PST by gnarledmaw
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To: nightdriver
THAT is the misconception EVERYONE makes.
This article really makes me angry.
The wolves HAVE to eat livestock, because we've killed their wolf prey FOR SPORT and they are starving. So we blame them for trying to survive. Also, wolves do not kill for "The Thrill" of it.
The attacks in which an animal was not partially or completely eaten, were almost definitely NOT wolf attacks.
Cougars, grizzlies, coyotes, maybe.
But wolves are so much more complex. They do not hunt for "the thrill". It's just that simple.
They don't.
And nightdriver, there is absolutely no way that a wolf killed that boy. It may have found the boy dead, the result of a cougar attack, and been desperate enough to eat some.
There has NEVER been a case (in recorded history) of a healthy, purebred wolf, attacking and killing a human being.
NEVER.
Wolves are just always blamed.
And they are no more (in fact, much, much, much less) savage killers than humans.
They hunt to eat.
That's that.
We hunt for fun, for money, for sport, for god knows why else, but almost never purely for food.
I honestly think Wolves are more civilized than we.
38 posted on 05/05/2005 5:55:51 PM PDT by myralee_8
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To: myralee_8
"They do not hunt for "the thrill". It's just that simple."

You are either naive or prejuciced beyond reason, but at any rate, you're really not qualified to broach the subject.

I've watched them attack and tear up a couple of dozen sheep in Canada (where this non-native species is being imported from) and maybe eat one or two and leave the rest to suffer long lingering deaths.

Too big a hassle to take my rifle to Canada, but here in the states, any wolf I see better get ready to be punctured!

If you like, I'll send you their tails.

39 posted on 05/05/2005 6:18:58 PM PDT by nightdriver
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To: nightdriver

"If you like, I'll send you their tails."

Oh, please do. Then i could give at least part of these poor animals the proper burrial they deserve.

Something that i've come to notice about many people much like you, is that you really don't take the time to get the facts straight.
You have opinion, and you base everything on that.
get the facts.
Have you actually watches such a thing occur? With YOUR eyes? Did you see if maybe the wolves were driven from the rest of their meal, and forced to leave them behind? Or maybe they returned, and finished it later.
Try to think through these things, because you're teaching a new generation an old set of lies.

I'm too speculative to hear these lies.
I won't turn out like someone who hunts animals under the incredibly mistaken impression that we are better than them.


40 posted on 05/05/2005 6:47:10 PM PDT by myralee_8
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To: myralee_8
"Have you actually watches such a thing occur?"

Did you read my post?

Of course I believe I am "better" than a stupid wolf and (sshhh! Don't tell anybody) but I think you are too! ;^)

41 posted on 05/05/2005 7:18:12 PM PDT by nightdriver
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To: nightdriver

Please, tell me, guive me ONE reason why YOU are any better than a wolf.


42 posted on 05/06/2005 3:58:56 PM PDT by myralee_8
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To: myralee_8
"Please, tell me, guive me ONE reason why YOU are any better than a wolf."

Opposable thumbs! ;^)

43 posted on 05/06/2005 5:58:48 PM PDT by nightdriver
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To: 11B3
As for the ranchers, I'd suggest a good long range rifle with a supressor and a third generation night vision sight.

For the wolves or the environmentalists?

44 posted on 05/06/2005 6:04:04 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor (What does the wolf care how many sheep there be?)
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To: myralee_8
I won't turn out like someone who hunts animals under the incredibly mistaken impression that we are better than them.

Better/worse is a matter of opinion, and everybody has one of those, so it is not worthwhile to engage in long and fruitless discussion about it.

Let me just put it this way: I generally value people more than wildlife. If my kids were starving and I was looking at the last breeding pair of spotted owls in the world, the owls would be shot and roasting over the fire very shortly. If I got the impression that a given animal was a credible threat to any family member or friend, it's gone

45 posted on 05/06/2005 6:30:28 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor (What does the wolf care how many sheep there be?)
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To: nightdriver

Yes. I'm sure that makes you so much better.
You kill; they kill.
You are intellegent; they are intellegent.

YOU are no better than them, and neither am i.
Yes, that is opinion, but it's factually based.


46 posted on 05/06/2005 9:48:46 PM PDT by myralee_8
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To: myralee_8
"YOU are no better than them, and neither am i."

Oh, yes you most certatinly are, whether you choose to believe it or not. I'd blow away a wolf, bear, coyote, alligator, or a charging bull in a heartbeat in order to protect you, because you bear the image of God, they don't.

God created wolves, coyotes, etc, in order that they should become dead wolves, coyotes, etc. It's their manifest destiny.

47 posted on 05/06/2005 10:32:07 PM PDT by nightdriver
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To: nightdriver

Your ologic in this matter is completely irrational.
I refuse to argue with this.

The funny thing is,
i'm so much younger than you.


48 posted on 05/06/2005 11:45:35 PM PDT by myralee_8
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