Skip to comments."Look, Mama, she's naked!"
Posted on 11/15/2002 11:55:10 AM PST by Coeur de Lion
I'm waiting in line at the newsstand with my very observant two-year-old daughter, and she is pointing to Rolling Stone magazine.
On the cover is 21-year-old singer Christina Aguilera, sprawled on a red velvet blanket. She is wearing black leather boots, black nail polish, one studded bracelet, ratty hair extensions, and as my child has so innocently noted, nothing else. Aguilera's privates are strategically hidden behind a guitar; her backside is tastelessly, tritely, exposed.
The article lays bare all the silly, sordid details of Aguilera's new album (appropriately titled "Stripped"), her new hardcore music video (titled "Dirrty," with an extra "r" thrown in for, you know, edge) and her transformation from bubble-gum, Mickey Mouse Club member to foul-mouthed vixen. The young woman who once sweetly warbled the theme song to the Disney movie, "Mulan," now grunts and writhes in a thong and kneepads, thrusting herself onto every moving object in her way, while "singing" the following "lyrics:"
Ah, dirrty (dirrty) Filthy (filthy) Nasty, you nasty (yeah) Too dirrty to clean my act up If you ain't dirrty You ain't here to party (woo!)"
DJ's spinning (show your hands) Let's get dirrty (that's my jam) I need that, uh, to get me off Sweat until my clothes come off
In a pathetic attempt to prove that this is not just a made-for-TV act, Aguilera has been spotted around New York City reenacting her "Dirrty" video in popular nightclubs. The New York Post's gossip page even launched a "Christina Aguilera Skank Watch," which tracked her recent visits to local stripclubs, where she "got lap dances" "fondled the breasts of a buxom stripper," and "was spotted cuddling with some sexy female friends at a "Drunk Love" party.
"F*** the pretty," Aguilera retorts when asked by the Rolling Stone reporter about her tamer, younger years as a teen idol.
"F*** the dessert -- where's the tequila?" she exclaims apropros of nothing.
Aguilera's other favorite f-word is "flava." As in: "I want the boys with the flava." Explaining why she doesn't usually date "white boys," Aguilera expounds with faux ghetto flair: "He's got to have some flava and edge to him. I don't discriminate because of color. I actually dated my first one recently. I put some cream in my coffee." Flava lover Aguilera herself is paler than vanilla ice cream when not slathered in coffee-colored, self-tanning lotion.
"I don't see anything wrong with being comfortable with my own skin," Aguilera snaps defensively, as she strikes another gangsta pose and shows off her ridiculous body piercings-which Rolling Stone has painstakingly diagrammed for the masses.
As I am returning the trashy magazine to the newsstand rack, my toddler chirps in again: "Mama, where's her shirt?" I answer: "Her mama forgot to tell her to put one on." My daughter, naturally, has a follow-up question:
"Well, where's her mama?!"
That's exactly the question I ask myself whenever we encounter some young Aguilera look-a-like and her friends hanging out at the mall with their thong straps glittering out in the open, their hip-huggers succumbing perilously to the forces of gravity, their noses and eyebrows and tongues marred with metal, and their faces plastered with red light district makeup.
Where were their mamas-and dadas-to teach them that slutty is not sexy? Gutter talk is for vagrants, not for young ladies who want respect from the world. Promiscuity isn't a sign of maturity. It's a sign of self-loathing. Being "comfortable in your own skin" doesn't require having to bare every last inch of it in public.
From Madonna, to Britney and Christina, to the under-dressed teens at the mall, legions of girls have been raised to believe that letting it all hang out is the only true path to womanhood. Christina Aguilera is a sad symptom of this cultural zeitgeist. Stripped of her inhibitions and sense of self-restraint, it's much too late for mama to put her peep-show-profiteering daughter's shirt back on.
This naked truth cannot be disguised: The era of radical feminist sexual liberation has produced a generation of shameless skanks.
Perhaps. But there are different "rules" in play for them good ol' boys than there are for the girls.
I cannot understand your saying that, ewing.
Who'd you think *they'd* try to "reach" as they set-out to groom & nurture their future "customers," anyway??
We'd not just have flashed 'em our middle digit; we'd have done to 'em much worse...kept our dough in our wallets.
No...since 9 of 10 "parents" are doing any & everything but "raising" their offspring?
Those young minds make the *perfect* -- unprotected -- target.
"I am no prude, but who made that decision..."
Well, let us just say the brainiacS behind this harlot & all the others before, during & to come *probably* are manifestations of white, male, Liberals & leave it go at that, shall we?
"I would be aghast as a parent!"
Sure; but, then again??
You'd then BE a, "parent."
...subtle difference, eh?
1 entry found for skank.
Out of all the pop bimbos, Britney Spears seems the most wholesome. At least I haven't seen her completely bare her chest like all the others.
Yup. She's pretty amazing.
Ahhh yes; *family* life.
Why I can actually remember what got'cha to this point, guy.
Way back when you had that room mate? :o)
"I'm trying to get the wife to wear the shirt herself (behind closed doors). Yowza! Saddle up the stove, honey, we're ridin' the range tonight!"
And *K* wants me to put my old Speedo around one of my thighs, too.
Funny, isn't it??
What we're finding's a "turn-on" in our old age?
...talk about, "obscene"! ;^)
Madonna Ciccone (Everyone has a last name, dammit!)
The Gabor Sisters
The Barbie Twins
Cher (and what the hell IS her last name, anyway?)
Anna Nicole Smith
Roseanne Barr Arnold
Feel free to add as necessary, and to debate the entries. I was planning to post a thread on this, but this is as good a time as any.
Some ways that a young(or not) lady might make the list: Have a personal life which COMPLETELY overshadows her professional life; Have little measurable talent; Have few marriages last longer than one year; Have a LOT of marriages; Continue to have children despite having nothing but chaos in her personal life; Choose men who complement them( a relationship with either Dennis Rodman or Tommy Lee is a sure ride to the Skank List); Have several, highly publicized, drug binges; use plastic surgery to enhance her laughable self-esteem; and FINALLY, act like it's HER who is the "victim" of all of the above.
Note, there are no (admitted) porn stars on the Skank List...this is because whatever their faults, porn starlets lack the insane hipocrasy of the typical Skank. They ADMIT to being exactly what they are. Furthermore, one former wife of Tommy Lee has evaded the list: Heather Locklear. This is because she actually has built a career without continually mentioning her ex-husband.
Some of these women DO have talent, no doubt. However, that talent is eclipsed by their VERY public "private" lives. As such, part of their celebrity, FOREVER, will be their legacy as Skanks. Seriously, how many on the above list would have become famous, save for their association with famous men? One? Two at the most?
I make absolutely NO judgement about these women's good or evil, or whether or not they are bad people(their legions of exes are far better qualified for that work than I), this is only for the fun of it. The ludicrous way these women have conducted their lives, free from consequences that those of us who work for a living face, is itself worthy of some fun, is it not? After all, it is THEY, not us, who continually place their private(s) into the public sphere. The least we can do is ridicule them unmercifully. Besides, many of them are simply annoying no matter what they do.
And ladies, worry not. There are MORE than enough MALE Skanks to fill a few lists...we'll get to them soon, okay? Anyhoo, there it is. Have at it, FReepers!