USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies

MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.

The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

You will stay right where you are on the thread.
Please take a moment and Thank a Service Man or Woman.
Just Click on a flag to SEND an e-mail.

Army	Navy	Marines	Air Force	Coast Guard	Canadian Military

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Please post your military jokes AND your links and graphics about the military.

God Bless and Protect our military and our allies military.

[JohnHuang2]

Morning, amigo.

God bless our troops.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Military Lurkers:
Feel free to e-mail me at seaside611@hotmail.com your ideas about what you would like to see in the Canteen.

FReepers please post your ideas on what you would like to see in the Canteen.

[JohnHuang2]

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Morning King of Ping!

[JohnHuang2]

=^)

Bump!

[JohnHuang2]

Bump!

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

[leadpenny]

Current Time:

Army - 0800Z
Navy - 0300 Local
AF - 3:00AM Eastern
Marines - Mickey's big hand is on 12, and his little hand is on 3.

[Mo1]

Oh Geez Tonk .. I don't know if I have any military jokes .. I'll have to check my files .. but will this do for now?



The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a
wall.

The owner asks the clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

And the clerk goes "Well, he came in here this morning to get something to stop his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle
of laxative."

The owner goes "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of
laxatives!"

The clerk goes "Of course you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

[Soaring Feather]

[Kathy in Alaska]

Click for current time
in Afghanistan

[Soaring Feather]

[Kathy in Alaska]

A PRAYER OF PROTECTION

The light of God surround you
The love of God enfold you
The power of God protect you
The presence of God watch over you
Wherever you are,God is,
And all is well.
Amen.

.

Bless This House

Bless this house O Lord we pray;
Make it safe by night and day;
Bless these walls so firm and stout,
Keeping want and trouble out:
Bless the roof and chimneys tall,
Let thy peace lie over all;
Bless this door, that it may prove
ever open to joy and love.



Bless these windows shining bright,
Letting in God's heav'nly light;
Bless the hearth a'blazing there,
with smoke ascending like a prayer;
Bless the folk who dwell within,
keep them pure and free from sin;
Bless us all that we may be
Fit O Lord to dwell with thee;
Bless us all that one day we
May dwell O Lord with thee.

.

(Click on praying hands above,
or on banner at the top to hear the music)

[Kathy in Alaska]

FREE TED MAHER

Click on Ted for Ted Maher Thread

[Kathy in Alaska]

Duty ~ Honor ~ Country

Click above to visit "A Day in the Life of President Bush"

[Soaring Feather]

Stepping Stones

The Lord came to me like a dream one day and asked, "why do you sorrow?"
I answered, "Lord my life is so full of pain, I can't face one more tomorrow."

The Lord sat down beside me, and gently took my hand. He said, "Let Me explain to you, and then you'll understand.

Each sorrow is a stepping stone you must surmount each day....and every stepping stone you climb is a sorrow that's passed away.

The road of life is a mountainside, with crevices in which to be caught, But as you struggle on your way, I, the Rock, will lend support.

Every stepping stone you climb, makes spirit and heart grow strong. Exercising character and faith, this road seems painful and long.

The way is paved with stepping stones, to uplift your heart and soul, Though difficult, they aid your way, to a City paved with gold.

I know that you are tired, for I too have walked this way, My sorrows did they multiply, but I cleared many stones away.

I left My Rock to lift you up, I left behind My story. To give you strength to make your climb, to that special place in glory.

And never fear, the Rock is here, you'll never climb this mountain alone Surmount life's sorrows, continue on, for they are but stepping stones.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

[Aeronaut]

Good morning Tonk.

[firewalk]

Thanks for the ping Tonkin

Good morning everyone