Big shark bites Santa Rosa surfer (a lawyer) LOL

Sacramento Bee ^

[Dallas]

Santa Rosa(AP) - - A Santa Rosa attorney is recovering today after he was attacked by a 16-foot shark off Salmon Creek Beach in Sonoma County.

The attack caused bone-deep lacerations on forty-eight-year-old Michael Casey's legs. He was in stable condition after two hours of surgery on Thanksgiving Day at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital.

[Dallas]

Gee, I hope the shark is OK ?

[ken5050]

whatever happened to "professional courtesy?"

[b4its2late]

I guess sharks do smell to find their prey.....

[Trailerpark Badass]

The shark let him go, huh? Professional courtesy? Or do even sharks find lawyers to be distateful? yuk, yuk...

[jigsaw]

Authorities believe the shark was a great white.

Hmmmmmm, might be a racial hate crime 'cept biting a lawyer probably isn't a crime.

[Dallas]

Sharks aren't normally bottom-feeders...

[Dallas]

Even a shark has to draw the line somewhere....

[TopQuark]

Preferrably, fun should never overstep the bounds of good taste and, most certainly, not become cruel. Your remarks are not funny and somewhat cruel.

[Chad Fairbanks]

It was a lawyer involved - there is no 'good taste'...

[NRA2BFree]

I bet the shark was repelled by the odor of BS.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Once the shark upchucks it will be okay, until the subpoena arrives.

[TopQuark]

there is no 'good taste'...

Oh, I can see that from the posts on this thread. I'll leave tastes up to others, but the cruely is repugnant to me. Enjoy your "layer jokes;" perhaps flatulence jokes are also in order --- they require as much maturity and intellectual strength.

[F.J. Mitchell]

I meant to add: The shark wouldn't have anything to worry about if it had bitten a little deeper-the Lawyer wouldn't have had a leg to stand on.

[NRA2BFree]

Dallas' remarks ARE funny, unless you have NO sense of humor. Lawyers earned their own reputations and ANYTIME I find a chance to have a laugh at their expense, I'll do it. We all feel bad about the injury but that's not the spirit of the humor here. It's about Lawyers in general.

[Fiddlstix]

Oh, that shark bites....

[Tex-Con-Man]

I bet you were a hall monitor in high school.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Our lack of empathy for this lawyer seems to be upsetting you. Are you perchance a lawyer? Or could it be that some lawyer just won a big pay off case for you? Maybe you are just sensitive-I apologize all my tasteless responses. Haw! Haw! Haw!

[NRA2BFree]

Perfect! LOL!

[F.J. Mitchell]

It was lucky for the lawyer, that the exhaust fumes saturating his body from all the ambulances he had chased, repeled the shark.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Oh, I like 'Layer Jokes'... reminds me of this one about the onion who.... oh hell, never mind... the joke would be wasted on you...

:0)

[rockfish59]

I heard Johnny Cochran's in town!

[TopQuark]

Maybe you are just sensitive-I apologize all my tasteless responses. Haw! Haw! Haw! As I said, tastelessness is common: it's the depth of your thinking process that has impressed me. Your ability to explain human behavior, your insight into their motives are without parallel.

[friendly]

I bet you were a hall monitor in high school.

LOL

The American Bar Association has special committees and is seeking indictments of those who tell lawyer jokes (I kid you not) Examples:.

(from St. Petersberg Times) Lawyers fret about bad image. Bar associations are resorting to all sorts of measures to try to counter the profession's perceived unpopularity: the Wisconsin Bar has hired consultants "to institute a branding campaign based on focus group response", while the Florida Bar has budgeted a contemplated $750,000 for its new "Dignity in Law" program which targets 1,000 journalists and government officials described by the group's president as "influential decision-makers" who will be sent "blast e-mails describing the great work that lawyers and judges do for our clients, in our courtroom and in our communities." (We hope those 1,000 journalists and influentials have all previously opted into those "blast e-mails" -- spam doesn't make friends, you know.) "Prior to launching the campaign, the Florida Bar surveyed 880 journalists about their attitudes toward the legal profession and rated their stories as positive or negative. As the campaign continues, it will monitor their changing attitudes toward lawyers to measure the campaign's effectiveness." If we were Florida journalists, we're not sure we'd be thrilled to learn that a group of dissatisfied newsmakers who wield writs had decided to "rate" and then "monitor" the tone of our coverage of them.

(from the National Law Journal) Catherine Crier, the Court TV host and former judge whose book "The Case Against Lawyers" is forthcoming momentarily, says bar p.r. campaigns "don't do anything to address the underlying areas. I'd rather see a campaign that introduces ethics classes.' Crier would prefer to see the law 'eliminate contingency fees except in cases aimed at the poor and institute loser pays in all categories. In that way, good lawyers can proceed with dignity and pursue cases that are meritorious, and those pressing frivolous actions corrupting our system will no longer have a forum.'"

[johnny7]

The bigger sharks fear nothing.

Two years ago near Ponce de Leon Bay, I saw one jump out of the water that was over 15 feet in length.

It bit a huge branch on a mangrove... maybe plucking a big bird.

Don't wiggle your feet or hands in the water down there... you just might lose them.

[semaj]

"...whatever happened to "professional courtesy?"

LOL

[TopQuark]

Oh, no please do not hold back: typos are funny also. I am still waiting for the flatulance jokes to kick in.

[Cicero]

Q: What do you call parachuting lawyers?

A: Skeet.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A: The rooster clucks defiance.

Q: What does a lawyer and a bullfrog have in common?

A: Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

[BurbankKarl]

Tort, it's what's for dinner.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Well... I told you it was wasted on you... oh well, I suppose since I have to, I'll make a fart joke - but only if it will make you happy... don't thank me - I live to serve :0)

A woman goes into the doctor's office and says, "Doctor, you have to help me...I've got this problem; You see I can't stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don't stink. As a matter of fact, I've farted 20 times just now while talking to you". The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady: "here, take these and come back in a week". So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. "Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I'm still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?" The doctor replied, "Oh don't worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we'll work on your hearing problem".

[TopQuark]

Thank you. It is very amusing to see "conservatives" involved in pure groupthink --- as long as it is against an approved group, it's OK?

Not only you do not know live by principles --- you cannot even recognize it when someone points it out to you.

The Dems say hello to you: just like you, they make similar jokes about Republicans.

[TopQuark]

Well... I told you it was wasted on you... oh well, I suppose since I have to, I'll make a fart joke - but only if it will make you happy... don't thank me - I live to serve :0)

There you go: I knew you were capable of that. Good boy!

[Tex-Con-Man]

Phhhhht!

[Chad Fairbanks]

Now, if you'll just scratch me behind the ears, my leg will move really fast...

[Chad Fairbanks]

Don't even get me started on Principals - they are almost as bad as lawyers...

[F.J. Mitchell]

Such praise embarrasses me-I am really nothing more than a average run of the mill genius in the art of observing human behavior.

[NRA2BFree]

LOL @ #21 Great Pic and caption!

[TopQuark]

No, silly: your master has to scratch yout belly for you leg to start moving. It's OK, Chad things will be better once you become a yearling.

If only your standards were as high as your editing skills...

[Chad Fairbanks]

I think I finally see your point...

I also think lawyer jokes are wrong - heck, lawyers don't think they are funny, and no one else thinks they are jokes...

:0)

[Chad Fairbanks]

Did you hear about the lady lawyer who dropped her briefs and became a solicitor? ;0)

[NRA2BFree]

The Dems say hello to you: just like you, they make similar jokes about Republicans.

And...we're supposed to care? You need to buy a clue.

[Burkeman1]

Most shark attacks are like this. The shark mistakes the surfer for a seal- bites into the person- feels bone - and lets go. Seals are almost all blubber with little bone. A boney human is not appealing to sharks. If someone dies from a shark attack it is usually from loss of blood from the initial bite. Rarely is a human consumed in full by a shark.

[FITZ]

A witness told rangers the shark approached Casey from behind, then tossed him into the air and let go

I wonder why? Was it the taste? Wouldn't a shark usually eat it's prey?

[mhking]

"Hold muh beer 'n watch this!" PING....

If you want on or off this list, please let me know!

[RightOnline]

"whatever happened to "professional courtesy?""

No more phone calls.............we have a winner.

[rintense]

Shark bites lawyer...

So much for professional courtesy.

[friendly]

Oh well, this calls for some serious lawyer Jokes:

What do lawyers use for birth control? * Their personalities.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? * A tick falls off of you when you die.

Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? * To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? * Not enough sand.

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? * There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? * A Doberman.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? * If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? * One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? * They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Lawyer's creed: * A man is innocent until proven broke. What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? * Lipstick.

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? * Skeet.

What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? * Chelsea Clinton

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him? * It might be your bicycle.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? * The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) * ...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? * You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

[Chad Fairbanks]

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

• Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.
• The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
  1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.
  2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
  3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this selfsame document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.
• NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".

[oldironsides]

You think lawyers are bad? You should meet some of the sorry a**ed clients they represent. Nameless idiots that spend years spinning a web of problems and expect someone to fix it in a week. You should meet some of these nitwits that raid elderly parents bank accounts and real estate.
They sure do hate lawyers. The clients with kids that are
a**holes are the best lawyer haters. The parent raises a little puke and then has to keep hiring a lawyer to defend it. Lawyer haters are an interesting group.

[Enterprise]

"Gee, I hope the shark is OK ?"

Me too. Poor li'l sharkey anyway. Just minding his own business and trying to get a bite of food, when he bites another shark - er, attorney, instead. I think we should start a fund raiser for the shark. This has to be a terrible blow to his self esteem.