Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks
Pointless Waste of Time ^

Posted on 12/22/2002 9:05:26 PM PST by A.J.Armitage

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-5051-100101-150151-200201-238 next last
To: HairOfTheDog
I assumed you knew that. Tsk.
151 posted on 12/23/2002 12:56:47 PM PST by Jael
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 149 | View Replies]

To: Jael
I'm negative? - au contaire! - I am the most optimistic person I know!

ask anybody.

152 posted on 12/23/2002 1:00:49 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 150 | View Replies]

To: motzman
Refering to the geekilary.

Harvard Lampoons Bored of the Rings.

The Boogie national anthem.

We Boogies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat untill we choke
Loving all like friend and brother
We hardly ever eat each other.

Ever Hungry, ever thirsting
Never stop till belly's bursting (grammer error in orig.)
Chewing chop and pork and muttons
A merry race of boring gluttons

(sing) Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble
Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble

Boogies gather round the table,
Eat as much as you are able.
Gorge yourself from moon till noon
(Don't forget your plate and spoon).

Anything edible we've got dibs on,
And hope we all die with our bibs on.
Ever gay we never grow up
Come! And sing and play and throw-up!

(sing) Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble
Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble

153 posted on 12/23/2002 1:24:34 PM PST by Dinsdale
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 57 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
The Orcs were obviously stolen from PC game maker Blizzard and its Warcraft series. Too bad Blizzard is apparently too scared to sue New Line over it.

What!? Has this numbnuts actually cracked the book and looked at the original copyright date?

What a weenie.

154 posted on 12/23/2002 1:35:07 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: jerod
I just stopped reading at #13. What a tool.
155 posted on 12/23/2002 1:36:59 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Jael
I respect your consistancy. "Guard your hearts and minds inChrist Jesus" I have some home school friends that present the same viewpoint. I will agree to ponder and pray on these points. I do believe God's power and revelation is way beyond the realm of man to understand. The soaring imaginations of Lewis and Tolkien have always prompted me to attempt to fathom the majesty and omnipotence of God. I am very aware of the dangers of the occult (ala with of endor) I,ve read seduction of Christianity and realize that we are in an epic stuggle of good and evil where only God can give us the wisdom or strength to contest "the wiles of the evil one" I've always like LOR because good triumps ultimately over evil. C.S. Lewis and Tolkien were scholars of mysthology in a time when europe was turning postchristian. They were holding out the last bastion of orthodoxy in a contintent that would turn away from God. It is true they were not orthodox in every respect, Incidentally Chuck Coolsen cites Lewis' Screwtape Letters as instrumental in his coming to faith. Audios, Keep up the stuggle. I will ponder your thoughts regarding mythology.
156 posted on 12/23/2002 1:48:55 PM PST by 2nd Amendment
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 140 | View Replies]

To: Dinsdale
This ring and no other was made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mothers to grab it themselves...

157 posted on 12/23/2002 2:50:41 PM PST by kaylar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 153 | View Replies]

To: exDemMom
Hi, DemMom:

Fortunately Bored of the Rings is still in print. No doubt they rushed it back in when the first Jackson movie came out. Who could forget immortal lines like:

We boggies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat until we choke...


Or,

An elven lass there was of old,
A stenographer by day...

158 posted on 12/23/2002 3:06:22 PM PST by valkyrieanne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: exDemMom
That should be "exDemMom." No offense taken, I hope.
159 posted on 12/23/2002 3:07:04 PM PST by valkyrieanne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 158 | View Replies]

To: aruanan
As far as racism is concerned. Ha ha ha ha ha. Since the orcs are not human their darkness has nothing to do with race.

Actually, the Orcs were produced (not by yanking them out full-grown wrapped in goo from the ground, as in the movie) by the evil Valar Melkor (Sauron's Boss) in the time after the creation of the Elves in Middle-Earth, but before Men were created.

Sauron captured Elves and experimented on them, torturing and deforming them until they produced the Orc "race." Orcs mate and produce little Orcs in the (presumably normal, for them) way. If they are black, it's because they were made that way by Melkor.

They apparently like to go on abducting sprees, capturing Elf women, and at least one Human character in the book (Bill Ferny in the town of Bree) is said to look as if he might have some Orc in his ancestry.

I find this very curious because Tolkien was apparently almost entirely ignorant of the current science of the day (1930s or so) and yet was able to work into his story a point that even most science fiction of the day didn't even approach, with perhaps the exception of HG Well's Island of Doctor Moreau. Of course in today's atmosphere, with scientists creating human/pig and human/mouse hybrids, it's even creepier.

160 posted on 12/23/2002 3:14:58 PM PST by valkyrieanne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 116 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
Finally, a LOTR post I enjoyed..

thank you.

161 posted on 12/23/2002 3:16:31 PM PST by Jhoffa_
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #162 Removed by Moderator

To: Alouette
LOTR has always seemed to me very similar to the old German epic, Nibelungenlied ("Song of the Nibelungs") which was also the basis for the series of operas by Wagner.

Me too. I hadn't heard the English-mythology angle (sounds plausible too.) But I remember from a class on CS Lewis learning that both Lewis and Tolkien were both fascinated by & saturated in Norse mythology. Before anyone claims that Tolkien immersed himself in this area because he was an "occultist," let me point out that it was his *job* - he was a specialist in ancient European languages and of course was deeply familiar with their literature, folklore, and mythology.

In fact, that's what makes the story so good, and what I liked about the second Jackson film in particular. The Norse gods die individually; thus the five-handkerchief story of the murdered god Baldur. Love relationships don't really work out well in Norse mythology, and Jackson gave us a little hint of the end of Aragorn & Arwen (again, a 3-handkerchief tear jerker.)

Finally, the Norse gods know that they will die at the end of their history, in the final battle of Ragnarok. They know their tragic end is coming, yet they fight on in a battle against the giants, werewolves, other assorted evil guys *anyway.* The Two Towers are definitely suffused with that dark Norse sadness, even though the story (like Christianity itself) ultimately does have a happy ending.

163 posted on 12/23/2002 3:24:32 PM PST by valkyrieanne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 137 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
Is this supposed to be humorous? i.e., complaining that that "novelization" is already out?

(I'd much rather sit through nine eventual hours of LOTR, than read through this.)
164 posted on 12/23/2002 3:31:29 PM PST by unspun
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: valkyrieanne
Actually, the Orcs were produced (not by yanking them out full-grown wrapped in goo from the ground, as in the movie) by the evil Valar Melkor (Sauron's Boss) in the time after the creation of the Elves in Middle-Earth, but before Men were created.

Yes, the ground goo seemed to not ring a bell.
165 posted on 12/23/2002 3:54:20 PM PST by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 160 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
The beauty of books. I fell in love with the story when I read the trilogy. I'd rather leave the drama to my imagination and don't plan to see the movies. The trailers already don't look like the imagination conjured up in my head when I read the books.
166 posted on 12/23/2002 3:58:09 PM PST by snippy_about_it
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jael
And why are "fairy tales" wrong? Are you to say that anything that doesn't seem plausble must be thrown out? If so, then I suppose we should pack up our very illogical faith and settle in for the gloom of rationalism, where everything is nicely ordered and there are no mysteries (though that it is, of course, hardly true). It might be dangerous to view the natural world as anything more than the logical, if artless in formation, product of chance. Or if there is some God surely He can no longer be involved in the whole thing, as that would cause our solid steady reason to hit roadbumps in figuring things out logically. After all, the supernatural protruding on our logic certainly makes for hard going.

Certainly "realistic" fiction has its place, and is perhaps the most important of fiction, for a good realistic work such as, say, Crime and Punishment, shows us our sin vividly and inexescapably. But if all we had was the grim, logical reality of sin, we would be miserable, joyless people, and very much doomed to black death. But we know that "realism" is not all that is real; that what is not seen is "realer" than what is seen.

And so we see the need for what we call myth and religion: we see it all through man's history, from the Epic of Gilgamesh to the Odessy to Beowulf to Star Wars. Man realizes, most of the time, that there is something unseen, and he tries to explain it. But most myths and religions are not true, and only partially fulfill man's longings: for they lack a true knowledge of God, and most mportantly, they lack His Son, the Savior of man, the great King, the Captain of the Starry Hosts. And we find that, like all myths and religions, the true God does not fit within the confines of man's reason: indeed, He exceeds them, and all myth and religion, surpassing man's fallen nature. He exceeds both our reason and our fancies- His design and guidance are greater than any scheme concocted in man's mind, and His mercies and love exceed any idea any man could have had about God.

The wisdom of God is foolishness to the scholar of the age. One cannot boil it down into "realism", but then one cannot fully express it in "fairy tales"- rather, He exceeds both, but we can express His nature and truth in both. So it is unwise to throw the faerie world and its wonder out the window, for in doing so we come close to deciding that our logic decides all: and let it be known, the wisdom of the cross is foolishness to the "wise".

167 posted on 12/23/2002 4:49:40 PM PST by Cleburne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 140 | View Replies]

To: Cleburne
What is it that Tolkien said? The man who most fears and hates "escape" is - a jailer.

There are, sadly, no Elves in this world. But if they are they too would be created by God.
168 posted on 12/23/2002 4:51:27 PM PST by JenB
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 167 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage; MeeknMing; dubyaismypresident; Constitution Day; SamAdams76
ROTFLMAO!!!

That is outstanding, dude... That warrants a PING and a TOAST... \_/ \_/ \_/

169 posted on 12/23/2002 4:57:20 PM PST by maxwell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: maxwell
That is outstanding, dude... That warrants a PING and a TOAST... \_/ \_/ \_/

LOL ! Need some hep, my FRiend? heh heh !



170 posted on 12/23/2002 5:27:57 PM PST by MeekOneGOP
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 169 | View Replies]

To: xzins
Is this serious?

No, of course not. It wouldn't have been funny if the author meant it because it was so stupid.

171 posted on 12/23/2002 6:44:00 PM PST by Capriole
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: 2nd Amendment
Hi, I am glad you wrote back. :-)

Let's continue this sometimes. I also homeschool, so we are kind of busy right now, trying to get some things finished before the end of the year.

I hope to discuss more with you later.
172 posted on 12/23/2002 8:56:08 PM PST by Jael
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 156 | View Replies]

To: Cleburne
Thanks for a thoughtful post. :-)
173 posted on 12/23/2002 9:00:26 PM PST by Jael
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 167 | View Replies]

To: nina0113
I "got it" on the 3rd one & laughed all the way through.

170+ posts so far and some still aren't getting it.

174 posted on 12/23/2002 9:15:37 PM PST by js1138
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 123 | View Replies]

To: AppyPappy
Very clever.
175 posted on 12/23/2002 9:45:12 PM PST by Deb
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 94 | View Replies]

To: motzman
20 sided dice! LOL!!!!

Only the true nerds will get that one.....

176 posted on 12/23/2002 10:10:10 PM PST by The Coopster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Jael
bump for later reading, and head-shaking at how some people can find evil in anything.....
177 posted on 12/23/2002 10:27:40 PM PST by The Coopster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 151 | View Replies]

To: The Coopster
A very used copy of The Monster Manual had already been won on a previous thread, so sandflea had to get the consolation prize...
178 posted on 12/23/2002 11:11:17 PM PST by motzman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 176 | View Replies]

To: motzman
Oh, man......THAT drags me back.......
179 posted on 12/24/2002 4:44:16 AM PST by The Coopster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 178 | View Replies]

To: Deb
And a very Merry Chistmas to you!
180 posted on 12/24/2002 4:53:08 AM PST by AppyPappy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 175 | View Replies]

To: AppyPappy
Didn't she work on this film a few years ago when they shot all 3 episodes in NZ?
181 posted on 12/24/2002 4:59:55 AM PST by dennisw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 180 | View Replies]

To: dennisw; Deb
She was the barmaid in the saloon fight scene.
182 posted on 12/24/2002 5:54:58 AM PST by AppyPappy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 181 | View Replies]

To: underthesun
ping
183 posted on 12/24/2002 9:31:44 AM PST by CougarGA7
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jael
A few ripostes to the article you posted:

It was Tolkein who converted C.S. Lewis from atheist to Christian.

While Led Zeppelin did make a lot of Tolkein references, and wrote "So Mote Be It" on the vinyl of Led Zep III, and Plant bought Crowley's mansion, they rocked! And Battle of Evermore featured Sandy Denny, who worked with the Strawbs in her earlier years. The Strawbs are one of my top three favorite bands - try "Songs from the Witchwood" or "Grave New World"

Saw Illuvatar at the 2002 NEARfest. They were pretty good.

184 posted on 12/26/2002 9:01:26 AM PST by lds23
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: valkyrieanne
My favorite line is when the wizard reappears after fighting the Ballhog, and they ask him how he got there.

"Well, once out of the pit...."

185 posted on 12/26/2002 9:05:31 AM PST by lds23
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 158 | View Replies]

To: Sabertooth
Can I be put on this ring ping list. I am a huge Lord of the Rings fan (both books and movies)
186 posted on 12/26/2002 9:17:36 AM PST by Festa
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Ignatz
This guy clrearly dose not know what he is talking about.All of this is BACKWARDS!
187 posted on 12/26/2002 10:16:10 AM PST by Sawdring
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 100 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
Somebody needs to read the trilogy before writing about it.
188 posted on 12/26/2002 10:19:57 AM PST by gitmo
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
The only things more amusing than funny satirical posts on FR are the totally serious outraged posts that follow. Thanks for the double amusement Mr. Armitage. :-)
189 posted on 12/26/2002 10:22:27 AM PST by Snuffington
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
What a dumb rant...

2) All three episodes were filmed concurrently in New Zealand to defay the entir production cost...It was a gutsy business move and obviously payed off well...Not to mention that it was based on Three books...did you think they would only do one movie?

3) You really need to get grip...that is called letter boxing...and is used to display the film in its original format...what you fail to realize that on almost every movie on TV, when letter box is absent, you are missing either the Right, Left of both sides of the image...clueless

190 posted on 12/26/2002 10:27:12 AM PST by antaresequity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: titanmike
"Moreover, the plot and basic story do not really seem altogether plausible"

Hobbits, elves, dwarfs, dragons, wizards,orcs, Gollum, ents. Its all fiction anyway, how can it "plausible" to begin with?

191 posted on 12/26/2002 10:29:11 AM PST by Rebelbase
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Jael
But those books dealt with real people facing things that could really happen, in that they did not take place in some kind of fantasy world with occult images.

Personally, I can't think of any kind of fiction less imaginative or any more boring to read than that which presents situations which could happen to real people in real life. I live real life. It surrounds me. I read to escape, to experience a world unlike the one I know, which is why I read so much SF and fantasy. That doesn't mean I'm into the occult or that I am non- or anti- Christian or anything; it just means I have different tastes than you do.

Don't make so much of the fact that some people like fantasy.

192 posted on 12/27/2002 11:02:30 PM PST by exDemMom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 140 | View Replies]

To: gitmo
Somebody needs to upgrade his sarcasm detectors...
193 posted on 12/27/2002 11:06:25 PM PST by xm177e2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 188 | View Replies]

To: aruanan
Freaking hilarious.

I wonder for those reading the thread what the average number of seconds was before they realized the satiric nature of the 50 reasons.

#3 for me, although I can't believe anybody could get past #9 and still think it was serious. It's even better if you imagine it being read by Comic Store Guy from the Simpsons.

194 posted on 12/27/2002 11:43:25 PM PST by ThinkDifferent
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 118 | View Replies]

To: MarkL
One of the things that I love in the movies is to see on screen what's only been in my head for all these years.

For the most part, I haven't been disappointed.

Gee, it doesn't take much to satisfy you does it?

I saw the movie and thought it sucked major time. The movie is way too long and doesn't make a lick of sense. No way will I bother seeing the third one.

195 posted on 12/28/2002 12:14:48 AM PST by SwordofTruth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: valkyrieanne
According to the National Geographic special on Tolkein (that was included in the Special Collectors Edition of the DVD), Elvish is based on Finnish, and it's obvious that Jackson based Rohan on northern europe (from the architecture).

Mark
196 posted on 12/28/2002 3:04:06 AM PST by MarkL
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 163 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
This is meant to be laughable, right? :-D
197 posted on 12/28/2002 3:07:05 AM PST by k2blader
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SwordofTruth
Gee, it doesn't take much to satisfy you does it?

I saw the movie and thought it sucked major time. The movie is way too long and doesn't make a lick of sense. No way will I bother seeing the third one.

Who peed in your wheaties this morning? I'm glad that you won't be seeing the third movie, that way, it'll be easier for me to get a seat.

IMNSHO, this is one of the best screen adaptations of a set of books that I've ever seen. Does PJ take some liberties? Sure, but then again, a fantasy world has to be one of the more difficult things there is to bring to a big screen. I think that PJ has done a terrific job, and I'm sure that he'll be hurt that you won't be seeing his third film next year.

Mark

198 posted on 12/28/2002 3:12:35 AM PST by MarkL
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 195 | View Replies]

To: A.J.Armitage
Well 1 thing was right and it was'nt even a reason this thread is a

Pointless Waste of Time ^

Ive read the trilogy and i think the movies do them much honor as far as special affects and storyline.

199 posted on 12/28/2002 3:14:20 AM PST by ATOMIC_PUNK
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ATOMIC_PUNK
Well 1 thing was right and it was'nt even a reason this thread is a

Pointless Waste of Time ^

Ive read the trilogy and i think the movies do them much honor as far as special affects and storyline.


Still didn't get it, huh?
200 posted on 12/28/2002 6:43:25 AM PST by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 199 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-5051-100101-150151-200201-238 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson