Skip to comments.High-Priced Emancipation [Book Review: Why There Are No Good Men Left]
Posted on 01/03/2003 7:50:23 AM PST by TroutStalkerEdited on 04/22/2004 11:47:49 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
Anyone who has ever struggled to find a house to buy should intuitively understand the difficulties faced by the legions of accomplished, educated, 30ish women currently roaming society in search of a husband. They are the stuff of mass entertainment now, these handsome, quick-witted graduates of higher education. On TV, they're the saucy females of "Sex and the City" and "Will & Grace." They surface in fiction as lovelorn Bridget Jones and the hapless heroines of Pam Houston's best-selling short stories.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
As I look back on my 30 year career in wafer fab/electronics, and notice that I've been unemployed 9 of the last 12 months, I must asert there is no such thing as "security"...
But it's not a suicide pact.
A woman (married) I worked with used to tell the others to look for men in laundramats. She said that only single men go to them and if for some reason a married man is there you're going to see women's and kids' clothes so you'd still know. She said it was much better than looking in bars.
Because so many of us have been burned...
Really, as a 40-year-old married man with three kids, I feel guilty for even having read it.
But what should I tell my sons - my daughter - to expect in life?
Should they get married in college? Shortly after? Should I raise my daughter to expect a MRS degree?
I don't know.
My wife, formerly a Special-ED teacher (now a full-time mom), will tell the world that the vast majority of her special-needs children were born to 40+ mothers. It isn't just that fertility goes down, its that risk is increased.
I think I will go hug my wife.
Why is it this topic always generates so many impassioned posts?
Because the rules for how men and women get along with each
other have changed; instead of having one set of rules we all agree
on, each side is now working with it's own set. The previous rules
worked to look out for men, women and children; the current rule
sets have evolved to promote the maximum betterment of each
side's (short term) interest at the expense of the others.
So now the common feeling in approaching the opposite sex is one
of going into 'Indian Territory'; we go carefully, mindful of our own
wants, wary of the wants of the other. We know that in any conflict
there is no cultural arbitration available, only the courts. The average
relationship is always in danger of becoming a zero-sum game.
So the powerful attraction between the sexes, necessary for any species
to continue, is now continually at war with every individual's self interest:
We are drawn to each other's company, but we no longer know how to
get along. We dance, each to our own music, out of rhythym and synch
with the other, stepping on each other's feet, knocking each other down,
desperately wishing we could get it right.
And just to increase the anguish level, we see, here and there, couples
dancing smoothly together, smiling as they turn and and swirl across the floor....we see; we know it can be done...
What I am, is a person who enjoys studying other people. I have not had a bad relationship yet, because I dont allow myself to get into the kind of traps most men fall into.
It is very easy to spot a woman with an agenda beyond just having fun together, so I am not in any danger. I have not whined about a thing, I have only made comments in observation of the things I see out there in the dating world.
My attitude may appear negative to some, but only on the subject of marriage and children. As fun-seeking companions, I have nothing but a good time with women, and most of the time I prefer their company to other men (as long as the Raiders are not playing) for doing things and going places.
Above all, I like to comment on these threads, because they provoke discussion of a serious subject. I am not just playing devil's advocate here, but there is a humorous lean in most of my comments that some of you just miss.
What else is a guy to do on a rainy Saturday before the playoffs begin? Some woman already cleaned up the place, so I have nothing better to do right now.
Thus the few 'available' men are looking at all wimmin, while the career wimmin are looking only at the handful of equals/superiors.
If these wimmin want to marry, they are gonna have to widen their sights. They are going to have to choose a man who makes them happy, not necessarily one that is smarter, better educated or richer.
If wimmin want a man they must learn that if they are part of the educational and financial elite, that they are gonna have to look down for a mate, just as men who are in the educational and financial elite often have to. Men often are happy with a simple minded little thing that looks good and adores them. Wimmin will have to learn to be happy with a Walking Love Muscle who worships them, but is too dumb to come in out of the rain.
A woman's chances of finding a man who has it all are about the same as a mans. Vanishingly slim.
You should tell them to marry and have kids before they figure out what the hell they're doing becuase, after they figure out what they've done, they won't be happy trying again. All the idealism of it vanishes.
I am thinking that they should have kids in their twenties - then concentrate on the career. Later is plain dumb.