High-Priced Emancipation [Book Review: Why There Are No Good Men Left]

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Friday, January 3, 2002 | MEGHAN COX GURDON

[equus]

Don't take it too seriously, hinckley.
Just giving the guys back some of their own. Maybe they'll "hear" what they really sound like.

[equus]

I think there's a lot of truth in your article.

[equus]

It never ceases to amaze me how the brains of intelligent people on this site turn to mush and jelly when they divide the entire world into liberal and conservative in the most crude ridiculous fashion.

So liberals apparently don't marry??????

Gimme a break! LOL!!!!

[alpowolf]

Whatever it is, it's not the same as being "too good" which is the line this 40+ bachelor always got when putting my heart on the line for a girl.

Sounds like you have gotten what I refer to simply as "The Speech". It starts with "You're a nice guy, BUT..." I don't even bother listening to the rest, as it's usually just filler. The "BUT" tells me all I need to know.

[AK2KX]

Bump for a later read....

[alpowolf]

The absolute worst day of every year for me is Valentine's Day.

LOL! My response to Valentine's Day anymore is "Bah, humbug". I've wasted a small fortune on chocolate on this nightmare, and slaughtered Lord knows how many roses. At least I've learned not to eat the chocolate myself--I like chocolate too much and I would be as big as a house.

[dbwz]

Bumping for later...

[shhrubbery!]

guys should be cautious of women in their late 30 who have not married because there is usually a reason why this is so; such as they are unstable psychos, too selfish, a wacko ultra-lib, etc..

To extend the analogy of the book review, she's like a house too long on the market? Actually I don't think this is fair. Such women may not be psychos, etc., but only victims of feminist propaganda who realize too late that they really do want marriage and family.

Sadly, one's late 30s are not a good time to start the process.

Conservative women should take their cue from Margaret Thatcher: marriage and family first, career later.

[shhrubbery!]

I wonder if the author answers the question (Why are there no good men left?) by looking at how feminism has altered men's expectations.

The last couple of generations of men have grown up largely inculcated with the feminist notion that women should be self-supporting --or, at least, capable of financial independence. If these men ever do decide to marry, they expect their wives to have a career. Children, if produced, are of course to be warehoused in day-care, rather than being cared for at home by a loving full-time mother.

I'm not saying this attitude is universal among gen-X and -Y men, but it's common enough to wreak havoc with traditional family life, and to further diminish a woman's chances of finding a mate willing to assume to mantle of traditional husband and provider, while she 'nests.'

[Theophilus]

There are a lot more cowboy boots than there are cowboys.

[Mr. K]

no kidding- I had that experience- I got rolled by a psycho with a 15 year history of child abuse. She Lied to me about being on birth control, two minths later I was in hell. MY mistake so far, OK... I was a bone head. I tried to do the right thing and married her until and tried to make it work until she became dangerous for the children.

The courts own doctor recommended the I (the father) have SOLE custody of my 3 little girls until my ex completed psychotherapy. This was becuase my ex was a diagnosed psycho with 15 year history of child abuse and neglect and mental illness. So she then bashed herself in the head and had me arrested for it. On nothing more than her say so I was forced from my home.

This backfired because I was able to prove I was not even home at the time she claimed I assaulted her, and the kids began living with me pending the divorce trial.

During this time she had weekend visitation, and one of my girls was hosptialized for neglect after a weekend with her. Her visitation was suspended.

All reports of child abuse filed against my wife were ignored ( by the police, by the hospital, by neighbors) without any investigation.

End result: New York State Surpeme Court Judge John O'Donnell took them out of my home after 2 years and written proof from the shcool that they had improved dramatically and GAVE THEM TO THE DIGANOSED PSYCHOPATH MOTHER.

NEW YORK STATE Child Protective Services HELPED the judge do this to me by 'indicating' a report of child abuse against ME based on nothing but my ex's say-so, without ever interviewing me. A report she filed the DAY AFTER I filed for divorce.

He also gave her $2000 a month child suppport, despite the fact that I took a lesser paying job to be home when my children were living with me.

This bankrupted me and forced me to sell all my properties (worth $1 million), and effectively destroyed my childrens financial future.

The mother had two older boys who have since been arrested, another individual was arrested in her home with drugs and a gun, and the ex is on liv-in in boyfreind #3 (in less than a year)

This is a MUCH better environment for 3 little girls... (twins 6 and a baby 3)

[riversarewet]

"...associated trauma and anger of your average Vietnam veteran."

---

I resent that statement. Outside of a Hollywood movie, the average Vietnam Vet is just like any other man his age and certainly not overwhelmed with trauma and anger.

Viet Nam vet.

[riversarewet]

To my delight, she gave ME the tie-breaker vote on tough calls. But I've NEVER had to use it, because we talk about stuff, and I don't always have to have my own way.

---

Been married for 32 years. We have never made a big decision without discussing it first, and both agreeing on it. Although I think the real secret is we have separate checking accounts. She balances hers to the penny every month, and I just kind of keep track of my balance.

[Rytwyng]

Did you guys watch The Bachelor? ... He did choose the one who, relatively speaking, was independent, intelligent, and had her own career. She wasn't a rocket scientist by any means, but he preferred her to the blond bimbo who was just finishing college

He totally blew it. He should have picked Brooke. Brooke is not a bimbo -- she's just young. And she strikes me as a much more honest, old-fashioned, down-home girl than the other one. (My wife says the same... she thinks he's an idiot for not picking Brooke.)

BTW... why the "blond" crack? Are you prejudiced against people whose ancestors got trapped between the glaciers, thousands of years ago? Why is it acceptable to say "blond bimbo", but not "brunette bimbo" or "black bimbo"?

[HeadOn]

32 years! That's great. We are moving in on 20 this spring. Kind of sad, though - I think you and I and our wives are more of the exception than the rule now, overall.

(By the way - my wife doesn't like the way I'll write off a nickle, instead of searching for an hour, so she "gets the priveledge" of balancing the checkbook.) We've both got plastic, so I spend what I want. I just don't want big stuff very often, so it's not a problem. -Although a Pontiac Firebird did follow me home in 1985...

God Bless and Happy New Year.

[Rytwyng]

the good women (like the good men) also happen to be the "boring" types who don't hang out in bars, go to church regularly , and probably don't look like centerfolds

Some of the good ones DO look like centerfolds, and they're STILL single.

For the men, being a "nice guy" often cancels out the advantages of height and good looks, and renders good moral character irrelevant as well. Women have the idea (sometimes right, often terribly wrong) that nice guys aren't strong, real men.

For a woman, her good looks may be her downfall: they elevate her perception of the type of man she thinks she can attract, so she'll hold out for more money, height, "coolness" (which is often inversely proportional to character), education, status, etc, than an average woman. But, alas, there aren't anywhere near enough tall, handsome multimillionaires to go around, compared to the vast number of women who think (rightly or wrongly) that they can attract one.

Fortunately, I met a woman who was smart, beautiful, AND realistic, and thus I at last escaped from the singleness trap. (Had to be from God.) But many of the women who rejected me, are still alone, and the guys they might have once been able to land, either married someone else or are now targeting a younger age bracket.

[RooRoobird14]

LOL--you must have dated some of the chicks Hubby dated when he was young and stupid (LOL).

I'm aware of a couple of his ex-girlfriends who were quite beautiful and really gave him cr@p.......because they could get a away with it for a while. Hubby finally realized what was going on and got sick of their "I'm entitled to treat you like cr@p and your're required to spend lots of money on me" attitude. As he told them when he broke up with them, "Darlin' there's lots prettier girls than you, and you certainly aren't good-looking enough for me to put up with your sh*t!"

[Tall_Texan]

I think there is a brilliant strategy some women use. If she likes you, she treats you like cr@p. If you leave, that just proves you weren't really interested anyway. If you stay, she can continue to treat you like cr@p and, if you object, she can always say "well, you KNEW I was like this...".

Therefore, it's YOUR fault that she treats you like cr@p. See how this works, guys?

[jpl]

Are they just hoping the MAN has some, or have they forgotten that they have already run out the clock, so to speak.

Millions of young women are being so misled and propagandized by our popular culture today that they don't even believe that they actually have a clock. By the time they discover the clock is quite real, it's often too late. "60 minutes" actually did a piece on this very subject a short while back.

[Rytwyng]

From my perspective, women still earn less on the dollar.

Women and men who do the same work, for the same hours, with the same education and seniority, get paid almost exactly the same (the difference is >2%). This is well documented, you can go check it out for yourself if you wish. The old feminist chant of "59 cents on the dollar" (now revised to "76 cents on the dollar") is, and always has been, a lie-of-ommission because it ignores the fact that men, on the average, work longer hours and do more difficult and dangerous jobs.

Meanwhile, as she points out, men have a big pool of available fascinating women to choose from. Particularly true in big cities

Fascinating women in the big cities? Ha! WHERE? Not in Lost Angeles. Oh, perhaps some of these women are interesting from a fornicator's perspective... But a single, old-fashioned, abstaining-til-marriage guy will find the pickings very, very slim. I found my wife elsewhere.