High-Priced Emancipation [Book Review: Why There Are No Good Men Left]

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Friday, January 3, 2002 | MEGHAN COX GURDON

[Poohbah]

My wife is fond of telling her single friends that all men are, to some degree, fixer-uppers.

Shortly after we were married, I was working night shift and my wife worked days. As a result, I did the grocery shopping. One day, I went during lunch hour, and worked my way diligently through the shopping list, purchasing real food that needed to be cooked and not TV dinners.

About halfway through the store, I had an odd sensation of being watched.

I turned around, and five professional women were staring a hole through me. I waved with my left hand, and their faces fell instantly when they saw the wedding ring.

They thought that they had someone who was pre-domesticated.

[BuddhaBoy]

Last year, I ran into a group of women from a seminar on finding a mate. I was at a HOME DEPOT in California to buy an air conditioner.

They were told to seek out men with home improvement supplies in their carts who were not wearing a wedding ring.

It was at that time, I realized that men now have the upper hand. It was a pathetic scene. I believe that if I had played along, I could have gotten that air conditioner paid for, for the price of a date.

[KC_Conspirator]

Instead of college, marriage, children and, perhaps, career, the new single woman roars out of academia with no desire for romantic entanglement or expectation of it. She establishes herself in a career, takes multiple sexual partners, perhaps moves in with a boyfriend or two, and then -- well, we all know what happens. As 30 hovers into view, she begins to desire a warm home life along with the fruits of her education and work. But her upbringing, as Ms. Whitehead explains, has not prepared her for this eventuality.

I would also say there is another reality here that the author is onto, but just quite can't admit. Lots of time these women have accumulated extreme emotional baggage from some past sour relationships and maybe this women has also contracted an STD. Maybe she's had an abortion or two, just to add more psychological instability. (BTW, I can name a dozen of these women off the top of my head and can name some with all three things I've listed, Hooray for the Sexual Revolution! /sarcasm). So now she's going to magically settle down like they do in Hollywood's "Sex and the City"? PUH-LEEZE!

Sorry but many possible suitors out there will find them unsuitable and will prefer that young, supple, 25 year old without all that baggage? Its sad, but thats the way that most men think - who wants an old hag who is all used up? Those are the harsh realities.

[RooRoobird14]

LOL, BuddhaBoy!!! As hubby and I say to each other, "It's a jungle out there!!"

[BuddhaBoy]

Stay away from Home Depot, dude.

[cgbg]

a HOME DEPOT in California to buy an air conditioner. They were told to seek out men with home improvement supplies in their carts who were not wearing a wedding ring.

That is hilarious!

(Hint to wingle women out there. Home Depot is a low-end home improvement store. Your better catches will be at smaller hardware stores in good parts of town. You can tell which ones they are because they sell premium products like Benjamin Moore paint or Cabot's deck stain.) ;-)

[goodnesswins]

I think I'll print this thread off and mail it to some young women I know......might help them as they enter the "marriage years"....one can only hope. The "slut syndrome" should be studied....but, then, the Feminists would be outted.

[Poohbah]

Stay away from Home Depot, dude.

I've had that experience. I've even had a woman come up and start hitting on me the minute my wife went to the ladies' room.

[BuddhaBoy]

Single women in their mid30's and up have got all of the associated trauma and anger of your average Vietnam veteran.

They are the walking wounded. One only need remind them of a past negative event, to recieve a full-on frontal assault in response. I believe that there should be a law against single women owning guns or knives sharper than butter knives after a certain age, because they are dangerous. They can hire someone to cut their meat.

I am reminded of the movie Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close is standing in the bathtub with the knife, whenever I see one of those 'sophisticated women' packing their briefcases and sensible shoes through downtown Seattle.

[HeadOn]

Good for you, and God Bless you. My wonderful wife is a "Southern Belle" whose GPA was better than mine. She is an electrical engineer. She "has it all" too, but she and I BOTH had a good understanding of each other before we got hitched.

After 6 months, I asked her to marry me. We promptly had a discussion about religion, parenting styles, and important decisions to be made down the line. To my delight, she gave ME the tie-breaker vote on tough calls. But I've NEVER had to use it, because we talk about stuff, and I don't always have to have my own way. Lots of men (including me) are just stubborn enough that if a woman insists she be in charge, we won't let her. If she doesn't insist, we don't care so much.

Women who don't need men don't understand that when men see that attitude, we walk away, thinking, "Ok. So you don't need me. I'll find someone who does. Have a nice life."

[BuddhaBoy]

Was she hot? Probably not. Hot women don't shop at Home Depot without their OWN husband or boyfriend.

[Poohbah]

Was she hot?

Not really, mostly because she was so aggressive.

Hot women don't shop at Home Depot without their OWN husband or boyfriend.

My own wife being a case in point.

[E.Allen]

You ever see the Sam Kinison routine about the "Honeymoon Killer"

He pitched it as a movie idea. A serial killer shows up at weddings, shoots the bride, and makes his escape with his signature exclamation "you'll thank me later". Seems the police are less than enthusiastic about tracking him down since most of themare married.

[RobRoy]

Thanks. I came THIS CLOSE to spewing coffee on my keyboard!

[alpowolf]

We are no longer willing to make the compromises and sacrifices necessary for a successful marriage, and are left with those same "Sex in the City" types to choose from, of which we say "No thanks", and are called women-haters for our trouble

Man, you hit the nail right on the head with that one. I've noticed with myself, that I am no longer willing to put up with the changes imposed on my friends by their wives. I'm not getting rid of my guns, changing my magazine subscriptions, shaving my beard off, etc etc. I'm not going to have any of this "what's yours is mine and what's mine is my own" crap.

[KC_Conspirator]

I think you should do that. Our young women are sold such a sack of $hit today in our colleges. Virtually nothing their feminist radical professors say is the way things really are.

[alpowolf]

They're also either divorced single moms or single mothers of b*st*rd children---and are mad at the world (and men in particular) because they're "stuck" raising their kids alone.

That's one of the things to scare guys like me away from the single moms--the anger. Another is the revelation that some have made to me: they would marry a man they don't love "for the sake of my children"--i.e. the man would just be a life-support system for his wallet. Maybe I'm just weird but I was kind of hoping to find a woman that loves me.

[BuddhaBoy]

It is my married friends who are the strongest in advising me to never get married.

[alpowolf]

Likewise. They have all told me about putting the beans in the jar and so on. My favorite came from a fellow sailor: "Me and da old lady are into S&M. She Sleeps, I M....bate".

Seriously, tho, what you say is true. We just seem to be thought of as so much cattle these days.

[BuddhaBoy]

Maybe I'm just weird but I was kind of hoping to find a woman that loves me.

Oh, she will love you, right up until she discovers that she can have your stuff, your money and your house WITHOUT you, with a single phone call.

After that, you will be public enemy #1.