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What's changed? Nothing. (And i don't think you're being nosey at all.) In fact, my first thought was that the changes had something to do with being legal, but he assures me it's not. Matter of fact, I was more reluctant to tie the knot again than he was.

We have a good, comfortable life, and I've gone through the laundry list of externals that might be the problem.

His job? Stressful, but actually less so now than before. He works for a small company and for a couple of years the owners were paying salary out of their pockets, but that's changed.

Money? According to the Left we're rich, but we aren't. Together we constructed a budget at the beginning of the year that will find us debt free by mid fall (except for the house), so we don't have as much "play" money, but that's by choice. (And only have the debt because we're good Americans and took to heart Ws plea to keep the economy moving after 9/11 :) )

Our respective children are grown and self sufficient.

We live in the same house we did before we were married.

I'm the same height and weight I've been since I was 18, excluding pregnancies, and even though middle age has made me a little softer, I'm on the low end of the weight scale at 120 at 5"6". I'll never be on the cover of a magazine, but I don't need to wear a paper bag over my head, either.

So... I don't think it's external. TBT, I've been thinking brain tumor or something along those lines. Since I met him, Mr. Lu has been mild mannered almost to a fault. He's not a wimp; don't get me wrong. The black belt he holds, he earned. But, like most of us in middle age, he'd learned to let the little sh*t slide.

Lately, however, he's morphed into someone I don't know at all. Someone who will throw shoes (that had been snowcovered and left in the sunroom to dry) because they weren't in the closet. Someone who won't cook (something he loves to do) because a serving dish was not put in the proper place. Strange, irrational behavior.

Am I sure that he's suffering from the syndrome mentioned in the article? Nope, not at all. It just really struck a chord with me.

But back to your point, RightOnline, I think many, many people hit their 40s and 50s and just get bored with who they are because they've spent the prior 20 or 30 years being the same person they were in high school or college.

I thought I had it right this time, with this man, and frankly, I'm scared to death that what I'm seeing is more than hormonal changes.

Interesting........and I appreciate you sharing that. Not sure what it could be since I don't know your husband (if I did, I'd have a far better shot at figuring it out). Those little irritants that have suddenly sprung up in his life? You're right; that's masking something else. I keep hearing about "male menopause", but damned if I know if it's for real. Still, it does sound like this article may provide a big hint, and it would behoove him to see a doc and check it out. Hey..........just tell him "what the hell; nothing to lose, right?" No surgery involved, etc., etc......and the benefits to you both could be significant. I wish you and him all the best either way.

He needs a vacation. By himself or with other men. If he won't take one, YOU take one with your friends. After the kids leave, couples tend to spend way too much time together. Men need other men for companionship and accountability.

I'm the same height and weight I've been since I was 18, excluding pregnancies, and even though middle age has made me a little softer, I'm on the low end of the weight scale at 120 at 5"6". I'll never be on the cover of a magazine, but I don't need to wear a paper bag over my head, either.

Honestly, your husband probably doesn't care as much about this as you care. I don't know how to put this gently but when the lights go out, it all kinda looks the same and a little softening is a good thing.