French to join war on Iraq

Clinton News Network | 30 Jan 03 | John Smith

[elhombrelibre]

Paris - In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L’Abandonnement du Field d’Honneur Battalion (French Surrender Battalion) of the Legion Etrangere (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the overwhelming might of the American Armed Forces. “Eet ees important to be haughty and insufferable when surrendering,” said Colonel Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in over 200 battles going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954. “We French are the world masters at surrendering, n’est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. Ha, I spit on your filthy American victories.”

President Chirac also announced that his government will be sending 3000 advisors from the elite Force du Collaborateur Francaise (French Collaboration Force) to assist the Iraqis in collaborating with the Americans while pretending to be part of a non-existent resistance movement.

[elhombrelibre]

Good, news. They'll bring the cheese.

[white trash redneck]

They'll bring the cheese.

And the slugs.

[cajungirl]

Now that is some funny article,,it is a keeper,,congrats to the writer. Vive la France Surrender Monkees!!!!

[MJY1288]

French Military rifles for sale, Excellent Condition, Only laid down once

[Hugin]

Pretty funny, except the inclusion of the Foreign Legion. They are actually fine soldiers with a proud history. Of course the enlisted men are 100% non-French, which explains why they are so supurior to the rest of the French military.

[First_Salute]

If the French had opposed the German move back into the Rhineland in the summer of 1936, we would not be having this conversation.

[stayout]

Does anyone have a link to that hilarious screenshot graphic of a failed Google search of "French military victories," suggesting instead "French military defeats"?

[Paul Ross]

The french will have to hurry, or the Krauts will beat them to the punch!

[Hugin]

BTW, Bill Krystol had a good line on Special Report last night. He said since the Democrats are now aligned with the French position on Iraq, he will henceforth refer to them as Le Parti Democratique.

[txradioguy]

France has the only military where camoflauge is only needed on the BACK of the uniform!

[LuisBasco]

They must have believed the rumor we planted about there being truffles in Iraq.

[Davis]

Cartoon
http://www.atrentino.com/CartoonFrench.html

[OldFriend]

It's the regiment of the Appeasamente forces!

[elhombrelibre]

Unfortunately, in these situations, the good French do get painted with the same brush. Sadly, there's too many French and Germans willing to put trade with Saddam ahead of freedom for Iraqis. Its their shame, but, hey, that's the way these folks are.

[BlueLancer]

"They'll bring the cheese.

And I'll bring the chøcølåte Møøse.

[B. Rabbit]

"French to join war on Iraq" Too late. So sorry. We don't want you on our side. There's going to be an opening soon for a third member of the axis of evil though if you want to call them up.

[txradioguy]

YOu know, if the Vichy....errr....French really do decide at the last minute thay wanna flip-flop and join the coalition, I hope Bush looks at them and says "we don't NEED your help." And leaves them sitting there with their thumb up their French pitard!

[illumini]

Good, news. They'll bring the cheese.

We didnt ask for 200,000 white flags. Who needs them?

[sheik yerbouty]

Avez les Francais mange les champignons malades?

[txradioguy]

I just don't understand how a nation that could produce the Foreign Leigon, as tough a military unit as you'll find ANYWHERE, can on the whole be so spineless! I feel for my fellow men in uniform in France.

[MHGinTN]

IMHO, it is sad but reality that we cannot now trust the French to not collaborate with the enemy. We cannot afford and it would be foolishness, to expose our troops to the possible treachery of the French seeing that they have been dealing treacherously (treachery toward the UN resolutions and embargos) with Iraq up to this week. There is no nice way to put it, the French should not be trust and would only be a liability to the war effort.

[Smittie]

French Military rifles for sale, Excellent Condition, Only laid down once and never fired!

[elhombrelibre]

You realize most of the foreign legion is not French, right?

[txradioguy]

Yes I do. But they thought of it. Have to give them props for that. But had someone suggested a force like that today, it would have never been formed.

[RogueIsland]

French to join war on Iraq...

...Surrender terms being negotiated.

[jmaroneps37]

This is good news. Everybody has something to bring to the effort. The frogs, since the don't wash and are so annoying, can interogate prisoners. Two minutes in a room with an arrogant smelly frog and saddam's "tough republican guardsmen" will give up anything they know.

[Arpege92]

It's time to celebrate.....razor's for all the women of France!!!

[cynicom]

Got their surrender towels at the ready....

[techcor]

Excellent idea. The French join the Iraqis, that way they'll surrender faster. I like it.

[rmvh]

Its the brave Vichy French all over again...

[nicmarlo]

They'll bring the cheese.

But not without the whine.

[FBD]

For a history of French "Warfare": Find "The Perfidy (treachery) Of The French

[Lando Lincoln]

Gravity does funny things to a French military rifle.

[FBD]

Link to FR Thread: A History of French "Warfare" (hilarious)

[FBD]

I'll try that again: A History Of French "Warfare" (hilarious)

[weikel]

of the Legion Etrangere (Foreign Legion)

Knocking the French is okay but don't knock the legion. They generally don't surrender( Dien Ben Phu where they were surrounded due to French political military meddling aside).

[Allan]

Bump

[PCOECSI]

One day last week I overheard an old timer who was a WWII veteran asking a Frenchman if he spoke German, when the Frenchman replied "No" the old time curtly replied "Your Welcome"

[dfwgator]

France - always there when she needs us.

[nicmarlo]

Very good! : )

[Jimmyclyde]

A recap of French "warfare".....



Gaul vs. Julius Caesar - Gaul defeated by Rome circa 49 B.C. (Rome defeated the early French swine - the Frenchies had to Hail Julius Caesar as their new leader)

Gaul vs. Franks - Gaul defeated by Franks (the 'original' French, replaced by the Franks *sigh*)

Franks vs. Huns - Huns sack Paris circa 450 A.D. (Huns finally defeated here - Attila's ONLY defeat. Notice it was done by a German-Roman coalition, NOT the Franks)

Franks vs. Themselves - Clovis unites Franks into one kingdom around 511 A.D. He dies and the 'kingdom' falls apart at the seams. Ever hear of naming a successor or how bout a will?

Franks vs. Muslims - Charles Martel defeats a SMALL Muslim raiding party at the Battle of Tours in 732 A.D. Muslims lost interest so Charles claimed a 'great victory'. Notice they didn't follow up and kick the Muslims out of Spain though.....

Franks vs. Franks - Charlemagne crowned 'Emperor of the Romans', Christmas 800 A.D. Again this 'empire' fell apart by 840 A.D. - sheesh. Charlemagne could read but couldn't write - now what sense does that make?

Franks vs. Vikings - From 841 to 911 A.D. the Viking Warrior-Badasses mopped the Frankish countryside with Frank ass. France surrenders Normandy to Vikings 911 A.D. (Stupid mid-evil France was easily bullied by real warriors)

Franks vs. Black Death - 1347 - 1350 A.D. Black Death kills Frenchies good. This plague was said to originate in Mongolia, from the vermin. BUT, we all know it HAD to have came from the filthy French swine.

France vs. England - 100 Years War 1337 - 1453 A.D. Battle of Crecy - 1337 A.D. (English hand the French their own asses in the start of the 100 Years War with the timely use of the longbow. French knights are mowed down like the cannon fodder they were.) Battle of Poitiers, 1356 A.D. - More of the same. Battle of Agincourt, 1415 A.D. - Henry V gets some French butt-whoopin' action. Unfortunately, a heretic freak named Joan of Arc came along and united all the French Frogs and they managed to repel the English. And we all know where that got her....TOASTY.

France vs. World Culture - Renaissance starts in Italy circa 1200's, NOT IN FRANCE.

France vs. World Exploration/Economics - Commercial Revolution starts - major players are England, Spain, and Portugal. Notice who ISN'T on that list?

France vs. France - 1572 A.D. St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre by Queen Catherine. She killed thousands of protestants and Jews. Hrm...that sounds really familiar - the FINAL SOLUTION ring any bells? Evidently these bastards were no better than Nazi Germany and yet they are proud of their heritage?

France vs. Europe - War of Spanish Succession 1648 A.D. (France tries to fight rest of Europe over Spain and looses to Frederick William of Germany)

France vs. Europe - 7 Years War or French Indian War 1756 A.D. (France gets beat up on 2 different continents by England and Germany plus the early future Americans - a guy named George Washington ring any bells?)

France vs. France - French Revolution 1789 - 1799A.D. (France kicks their own asses) Dr. Guillotine makes a handy invention that allows the Frenchies to chop off their own heads with amazing speed - thanks Jacobin Republicans!

France vs. Europe - Waterloo 1815 A.D. (Wellington delivers knockout to Napoleon - 2nd time. This comes AFTER the Russian Winter destroyed the largest army in the World and the U.S. conned old Nappy in the Louisiana Purchase - WHAT A BARGAIN!)

France vs. France - French Revolution (again) 1848 A.D. (France is still kicking their own asses on a smaller scale)

France vs. Mexico - late 1860s - early 1870s A.D. - France conquers Mexico. Wow! Amazing. What an accomplishment. Funny though, when the U.S. decided to enforce the Monroe Doctrine and in so many words told France to get the HELL out of our side of the world, they tucked tail and ran.

France vs. Prussia - Franco-Prussian War 1870 A.D. (William I of Germany kicks the teeth out of Napoleon III - good old Willy proclaims himself emperor of Germany at the Palace of Versailles - can you say bitchslap?) This all started because France opposed the unification of Germany - notice this starts a nasty chain of events that doesn't end till 1945......seems to me we can almost chalk up WWI and II on the dumbass French.

France vs. Germany - WWI 1914-1918 A.D. (Germany beats the hell out of France - without the aid of USA, France would be speaking German. France only won because of Uncle Sam jumped in - then those dumbass sore-winners in France impose an incredibly harsh Treaty of Versailles to 'punish' the Germans. Notice the resulting conditions of this allowed the rise of an unknown Austrian named HITLER.

France vs. Germany - Rise of Hitler 1933-1939 A.D. (Germany bullies France into letting them take more territory - the wussies wouldn't even fight over it - they adopted a policy of 'appeasement' - can you say SCARED?)

France vs. Germany Round II - WWII June 22, 1940 A.D. (France surrenders to Hitler at Compiegne after putting up a fight that made Polish Army look good. Notice Vichy France who quickly jumped ship to be friends with the Germans. And once again without the help of good old Uncle Sam the Atlantic Wall would never have been penetrated - France would either be a part of the 3rd Reich or a satellite country of Communist Russia under Uncle Joe Stalin)

France vs. Vietcong - Vietnam 1954 A.D. (French Army at Dien Bien Phu surrender to Ho Chi Minh) Nuff Said.

MORAL: Even before Jesus walked the face of the Earth, the French have been getting their asses kicked. The smelly, cheese eating, fu-fu dressing French can't fight worth a damn. You TOO can conquer France!

[kyllonen]

Found in many places nowadays, check this one
http://www.mircscripts.org/viewImage.php?cid=6094&v=b
or google some more using "french military victories" and google as search terms

[Paradox]

The quote is from Jed Babbin, former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense:

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind.

As stated on Hardball with Chris Matthews.

[wayne_etc]

How about "French Military Victories" in French....


http://www.internetcetera.com/enfrancais


This is on my website. I've actually had some French visitors to this page! HA!

[Ex Legionnaire]

"Our army that now remains in Vietnam is in a state approaching collapse, with individual units avoiding or having refused combat, murdering their officers and noncommissioned officers, drug-ridden, and dispirited where not near-mutinousŠ[C]onditions [exist] among American forces in Vietnam that have only been exceeded in this century by...the collapse of the Tsarist armies in 1916 and 1917."

Armed Forces (US) Journal, June 1971