Anheuser-Busch To Introduce Budweiser MEGA

2-10-03

[Jimmyclyde]

Anheuser-Busch To Introduce Budweiser MEGA

The newest king on the block, BudMEGA.

St.Louis, MO Following on the heels of their wildly successful introduction of Michelob Ultra this past summer, brewery giant Anheuser-Busch is set to unveil new Budweiser MEGA.

Michelob Ultra, with its low-cal low-carb combination, has quickly gained 3.2% of the domestic beer market share, so hopes are even higher for the new BudMEGA. "Consumers have told us they want more with less, and we have delivered it by the case," stated Adolphus Busch IV, "Now we are going to deliver more with more, and we will deliver it by the truckload."

What will make BudMEGA different from any other beer is its departure from simplicity. Gone are the basic, hops, barleys, and malts from which most beers are made, and lost is the focus that has long sought to minimize calories and carbohydrates.

Instead, the beer will be loaded with fat, cholesterols, carbohydrates, sodium, sugars, artificial flavorings and colorings and, of course, calories. Early testing of the concoction showed a tendency for the mixture to congeal at typical beer-serving temperatures, however, so even more chemicals were added to eliminate the problem, Busch said.

"BudMEGA was beginning to taste less and less like a beer as it evolved and more and more like a meal," Busch said. "Artificial colorings and flavorings brought it back to what we know Budweiser to be, but we've still managed to capture a flavor that is very full-bodied or full-figured, and very meaty," he added.

The beer will also feature a skyrocketing alcohol content to accompany its full taste. Forty six of the fifty states will allow its sale with a twelve percent alcohol content.

Busch said that a twelve ounce serving of BudMEGA will include 460 carbohydrates, twenty eight grams of fat, and 840 milligrams of sodium. "For years people have joked about 'drinking' their dinner at a local bar. BudMEGA makes that not only possible, but logical, too," Busch said.

[Jimmyclyde]

Hold muh mega beer alert!!

[Jimmyclyde]

Bttt

[1Old Pro]

Sounds like the Onion

[mhking]

"Hold muh beer 'n watch this!" PING....

If you want on or off this list, please let me know!

[talleyman]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me than a frontal lobotomy" bump.

"A beer won't drive you crazy,
Won't ask you where you been -
A beer won't call you lazy,
And bad-mouth all your friends.
A beer won't turn you down
When you want 'em near -
And all in all, I'd rather have a beer!"

[Grampa Dave]

Would you please cut me two slices of Bud Mega, slap some butter on the slices and zap it in the microwave for 60 seconds! I'm hungry for a carb, fat and sodium load.

[Semper Paratus]

Thanks, I'll stick to Duff Beer.

[chnsmok]

I don't understand why this beer is being compared with Michelob Ultra. Ultra has 2.6 carbs per 12 oz. It is an excellent beer for low-carbers.

[HumanaeVitae]

Michelob Ultra is tasty stuff...

[niteowl77]

We don't serve Duff. We serve Fudd.

The article really does read like something from The Onion. How many crappy aspects of a product can we turn into positives? Apparently, all of them.

[MadIvan]

This has to be a joke. Please tell me it's a joke.

Regards, Ivan

[null and void]

The Red Dwarf - Series One - CONFIDENCE & PARANOIA: From the people who brought you beer mikshakes!

[bigfootbob]

"Michelob Ultra, with its low-cal low-carb combination, has quickly gained 3.2% of the domestic beer market share"

This is a joke. 3.2% was near beer when I use to drink. You could only buy 3.2% beer on Sundays here in Washington, I don't remember when they changed. "MegaBeer" my @$$! Micro-brew is the mega beer!

[null and void]

Beer milkshake ping!

[Dane]

It' a joke. Look up at the key words where it says, politcal humor/cartoons.

I think that AP's web address is, www.ap.com or org.

[dirtboy]

It's a joke. The poster was a naughty boy for indicating that it's from the Associated Press.

[r9etb]

Low-cal, low-carb beer.... What's the point of that?

Gimme a good high-calorie, so-many-carbs-you-can't-see-through-it beer any day.

[Billthedrill]

Instead, the beer will be loaded with fat, cholesterols, carbohydrates, sodium, sugars, artificial flavorings and colorings and, of course, calories.

This needs to be revealed for what it is: a dastardly, backhanded attack on the pizza industry! For shame!!

[r9etb]

Oh, and I'd just as soon that beer be made with real ingredients.....

[Pilsner]

BTTT

[sheltonmac]

I have long held the belief that the terms "Budweiser" and "beer" should not even be used in the same sentence. I prefer Sam Adams. It's more patriotic. :-)

[null and void]

DISPENSER: Good morning. How can I help you?
LISTER: Bonjourno. Um, give me breakfast.
DISPENSER: What would you like?
LISTER: Uh ... chicken vindaloo ... and a milkshake.
DISPENSER: What flavour milkshake?
LISTER: Um ... beer.

[Desdemona]

I have long held the belief that the terms "Budweiser" and "beer" should not even be used in the same sentence. I prefer Sam Adams.

A-B has the contract to brew and distribute it here in St. Louis.

People, none of this is going to change that Lynch St. is still going to smell.

[martin_fierro]

I like Sam Adams, too.

You don't drink it so much as chew it. <|:)~

[hardhead]

Dang, you had me going! I was salivating about a full-bodied beer (sort of like an Anna Nicole Smith beer).

[Great_Dame]

Anna Nicole on a beer label...kinda makes you think of "Old Frothingslosh", doesn't it??

[Lee Heggy]

'Mega' soon to be followed by Old Forester's Rump Roast and Bourbon cocktail party mix! YUM!!!

[hardhead]

I am really a big fan of St. Pauli GIRL also.

[HHFi]

Fudd? Isn't that that stuff that made those hillbillies go blind?

[AdA$tra]

Micro-brew is the mega beer!

Agreed! I drink India pale ale! I knew it was a joke when they said it would have a fat content...LOL.

[AdA$tra]

A "well built beer."