Pass the Duct Tape (Dowd alert)

The New York Times ^ | 02/11/03 | Maureen Dowd

[Pokey78]

2003 Oscar nominations: Best Supporting Actress

Kathy Bates: "About Schmidt"
Julianne Moore:"The Hours"
Queen Latifah: "Chicago"
Meryl Streep: "Adaptation"
Catherine Zeta-Jones: "Chicago."

From Oxblog:

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD

1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

[Reagan Man]

Maureen Dowd is an intellectual lightweight and should never be taken seriously.

[CFC__VRWC]

The president and his secretary of state had been huffing and puffing to prove a link between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda. The world wasn't entirely buying that rationale for war.

Mr. Powell was so eager to publicize Osama's statements that he broke the news himself at a Senate Budget Committee hearing, hours before Al Jazeera even acknowledged it had the tape.

Isn't it amazing how quickly Colin Powell went from the media's penthouse to their outhouse?

[toupsie]

What is this? The E! Channel chat board?

[dighton]

Mr. Douglas looks tired, as who wouldn't under the circumstances.

[CyberAnt]

"Bushies"

How rude and arrogant! I guess we're supposed to be grateful she bothered to capitalize his name.

[VRW Conspirator]

That's why they were so busy hawking the Osama tape, rather than coming up with ways we can protect ourselves from the coming Osama attacks - other than plastic and duct tape.

Dowd - Confound it - There is another use for duct tape. Draw a four inch strip from a roll and press it firmly over your pie hole.

[ewing]

The more Zeta Jones glows the more spiteful Dowd becomes.

If Catherine wins the Academy Award Mo may just drink her self to death...pass the cherry quick!

[ewing]

[ewing]

Douglas may be liberal, but he is no dummy..

[Miss Marple]

Pokey, we really need to have a concise history of the Dowd-Douglas relationship at the beginning. Newcomers don't know the connection and think we are simply posting Hollywood gossip.

toupsie-Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

[F16Fighter]

Dowd rambling on through yet one more incoherent alcohol induced essay...

The Times doesn't care -- why should she?

[mcenedo]

Riiiight Mo.

Osama is playing "boy" George into invading Iraq.

Every time the left's reasons for not invading Iraq are exposed as shameless lies, they invent new reasons why we shouldn't attack.

All hail the queen of the "Axis of Weasels".

[ewing]

[dighton]

"How's that for a bit of pi r-squared?"

-- The Entertainer.

[F16Fighter]

Thanks for filling in the gaps on the Douglas-Dowd thing...

"Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael."

The alcohol-induced incoherence make a bit more sense now ;-)

[ladyinred]

That Bushies term angered me too!
I would love to wipe that nasty little smirk off that horrid woman's unattractive face!!!!

[Miss Marple]

Send her a copy of Michael and Catherine's wedding photo. That ought to do it.

[jwalsh07]

Ignoring all the blatant Qaeda hooks to Saudi Arabia, Syria, Yemen and Pakistan; ignoring the fact that Osama has never had any use for the drinking, smoking, womanizing, secular Saddam;

The woman's an idiot. This is exactly how the miserable jihadist bastards spent there last weeks on earth before heading straight for hell. How freakin ignorant cab she get?