Fun with the Dialectizer!

President Bush on homeland security:

From da a.m. o' Septemba' da damn 11t', 2001, t' dis hour, America has been engaged in some unprecedented effort t' defend our freedom an' our security. We be fightin' some wah' against terror wit' all our resources, an' we be
determined t' win.

Wit' da damn help o' many nashuns, wit' da damn help o' 90 nashuns, we be trackin' terrorist activity, we be freezin' terrorist finances, we be disruptin' terrorist plots, we be shuttin' waaay down terrorist camps, we be on da hunt one sucka' at some time. Many terrorists be now bein' nterrogated. Many terrorists have been wasted. We've liberated some country. Word to yo' mama.

Diary uh a Human Shield by KEN O'KEEFE Gulf War ah' Veteran Sunday 16 February Finally, afta' a long delay in Rome and some few passpo't hiccups in Turkey, ah' arrived in Baghpops yesterday on some flight fum Jo'dan. 'S coo', bro. It's been some long and windin' road, but we human shields who started out fum London on 25 January is all in Baghpops now and hangin' whut we set out t'do. 'S coo', bro. Not all uh us made it, uh course. Some had t'go crib. Oders plan t'go back soon, fo' baaaad reasons uh deir own. 'S coo', bro. And, as many British newssheets gleefully repo'ted, dere wuz disagreements and difficulties along de way. Slap mah fro! One uh de dree double-deckers we left London in--mine--broke waaay down in Italy and we wuz stuck dere fo' some time. ah' wuz drown out uh Turkey when de audo'ities refused t'recognise mah' "Citizen uh de Wo'ld" passpo't. Man! Fo' everyone, de journey wuz long, cold, 'eshaustin' and not much fun. 'S coo', bro. But now we is here, in Baghdad. And, as ah' had hoped and 'espected, dat gots put everydin' in puh'spective. De in-fightin' and da damn politics gots diminished and now we's focusin' on whut we's here fo'. De only doodad dat still downsets me about da damn politics and da damn conflicts dat broke out on de way here be de amount uh energy it drained away, energy dat would gots been betta' used fo' mo'e impo'tant doodads. ah' dun did de best ah' could t'try t'avoid it, but whut kin ya' say? As fo' de press focusin' on de negative--well, dat's deir job, t'waaay downplay de powa' sucka's gots'ta effect some betta' wo'ld. Trust da damn 'sperts, trust da damn politicians, dat's deir message. To me, dat's all baaaad. Keep writin' dat rubbish, ah' say, cuz' our powa' is growin'.

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