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FRANCE - Some Famous Quotes
current news and history | see keywords

Posted on 03/08/2003 7:36:58 AM PST by Xthe17th

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." --Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." --Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --P. J. O'Rourke

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." --John McCain

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" --Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: chiraq; conan; france; johnmccain; leno; letterman; margesimpson; marktwain; patton; pjorourke; regisphilbin; rushlimbaugh; schwartzkopf; surrendermonkeys
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You've probably already seen or heard some of these, but here they all are again in a single post. Feel free to add to the collection.
1 posted on 03/08/2003 7:36:58 AM PST by Xthe17th
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To: Xthe17th
Number of French Dead in World War II through June 1940: 120,000

Number of American dead in Korean and Vietnam Wars combined: 95,000

Rhetorical value of the fiction of French cowardice: priceless

Courtesy, The American Conservative.


2 posted on 03/08/2003 7:42:52 AM PST by JohnGalt
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To: Xthe17th
bump
3 posted on 03/08/2003 7:43:06 AM PST by groanup
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To: Xthe17th
"The French fight with their feet and f**k with their faces." -- Unknown
4 posted on 03/08/2003 7:47:19 AM PST by martin_fierro (SOUTH American Idol)
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To: Xthe17th
The most famous French quote, "I surrender."
5 posted on 03/08/2003 7:49:04 AM PST by Founding Father
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To: Xthe17th
"France is a dog-hole." - William Shakespeare, (All's Well That Ends Well, c.1603)

"The friendship of the French is like their wine, exquisite but of short duration." - German saying

"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language." - Mark Twain
6 posted on 03/08/2003 7:51:00 AM PST by Chad Fairbanks ("We've got, you know, armadillos in our trousers. It's quite frightening really. The size.")
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To: Xthe17th
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf

I believe Donald Rumsfeld said this.

7 posted on 03/08/2003 7:51:45 AM PST by IronJack
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To: Xthe17th
Thanks for the quotes. :)
8 posted on 03/08/2003 7:54:56 AM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: Xthe17th
Let me first say that I am French. That is my ancestors hailed form France but came to the new world because life in France was so awful. They carved out a new life for themselves in wildernes of Quebec. Then when Quebec was invaded they were caught defending in the wrong direction (can you say Maginot line, boys and girls? I knew you could). Finally my ancestors were subjected to terrible deprivations and discrimination and decided to come to America.

So to my French cousins across the pond...thanks for nothing.

9 posted on 03/08/2003 7:59:03 AM PST by Straight Vermonter
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To: JohnGalt
Rhetorical value of the fiction of French cowardice: priceless

Oh come now sir, I'm surprised at you! Let me provide you with a little contrast:

It's well documented that the French had the largest land army in Europe at the start of WWII and its equally well documented that the Poles didn't. Yet the Poland took longer for the Germans to conquer even with more troops to do it with. After the occupation Polish resistance to the German military took the form of the Polish Home Army and huge numbers of soldiers and airmen escaping to th Russians and British. The French "resistance" took the shape of a pathetically small number of fanatics terrorizing Vichy collaborators' women and children.

You bring up Vietnam...isn't the finest exploit of "French" military bravery exhibited by the French Foreign Legion? And even when that wasn't enough...did w not have to come and bail them out again?

Comparing the numbers of dead for us and them is infuriating and wrong. It proves nothing.
10 posted on 03/08/2003 8:03:40 AM PST by Live free or die
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To: Xthe17th
France: A relatively small and eternally quarrelsome country in Western Europe, fountainhead of rationalist political manias, militarily impotent, historically inglorious during the past century, democratically bankrupt, Communist-infiltrated from top to bottom.
--William F. Buckley, Jr.

France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
--Billy Wilder

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.
--Samuel Johnson

I would have loved it--without the French.
--D. H. Lawrence

Everything is on such a clear financial basis in France. It is the simplest country to live in. No one makes things complicated by becoming your friend for any obscure reason. If you want people to like you, you have only to spend a little money.
--Ernest Hemingway

Frenchmen are like gunpowder, each by itself smutty and contemptible, but mass them together and they are terrible indeed!
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you; they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
--Fran Lebowitz

They aren't much at fighting wars anymore. Despite their reputation for fashion, their women have spindly legs. Their music is sappy. But they do know how to whip up a plate of grub.
--Mike Royko

Every Frenchman wants to enjoy one or more privileges; that's the way he shows his passion for equality.
--Charles de Gaulle

[Compiled by Jon Winokur ISDN 0-453-00565-9]

11 posted on 03/08/2003 8:04:33 AM PST by cloud8
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To: Xthe17th
Regarding the French: "Cheese eating surrender monkeys." Some show on the radio.
12 posted on 03/08/2003 8:06:40 AM PST by raybbr
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To: Live free or die; JohnGalt
A comment regarding French History the French Army at the start of World Wa II had more tanksthan the German army and more fighter planes than the Luftwaffe.
13 posted on 03/08/2003 8:10:59 AM PST by harpseal (Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown)
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To: Xthe17th
"France would sell its own sister into prostitution."

-- One of my government professors, circa 1983



14 posted on 03/08/2003 8:19:31 AM PST by Atticus
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To: JohnGalt
Number of French Dead in World War II through June 1940: 120,000

Number of American dead in Korean and Vietnam Wars combined: 95,000

Rhetorical value of the fiction of French cowardice: priceless

Number of estimated Iraqi Dead in Gulf War One: 60,000 to 200,000

Number of estimated Iraqi Deserters in Gulf War One: 150,000

Rhetorical value of equating the numberof casualties with bravery: Zero

If death toll equated with bravery, zooplankton would qualify as the bravest organisms in the Animal Kingdom.


15 posted on 03/08/2003 8:21:45 AM PST by Polybius
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To: Straight Vermonter
So to my French cousins across the pond...thanks for nothing.

My ancesters (well, some of them) arrived in Canada from Montigny, France, in 1695. I concur with your sentiments.

16 posted on 03/08/2003 8:26:46 AM PST by Atticus
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To: Xthe17th
FRANCE WAS SMART IN ONE AREA. OVER 70 PERCENT OF THEIR ELECTRICAL POWER IS GENERATED BY NUCLEAR, WHICH IS CLEAN AND SAFE (IS USING OTHER THAN SOVIET MKB TYPE TECHNOLOGY).
NO CO2 EMISSIIONS...LITTLE SOLID WASTER. IF KYOTO TREATY WERE IMPLEMENTED FOR SOME STUPID REASONS, FRANCE WOULD BE AHEAD OF THE ENERGY GAME.
OTHER THAN NUCLEAR POWER THEY STINK.
17 posted on 03/08/2003 8:31:20 AM PST by bobg (Bob G.)
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To: raybbr
Groundskeeper Willie on the Simpsons, actually.
18 posted on 03/08/2003 8:31:33 AM PST by Andyman
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To: harpseal
the French Army at the start of World Wa II had more tanksthan the German army and more fighter planes than the Luftwaffe

And what did they do with them after France declared war on Germany while much of the German army was hundreds of miles away in Poland? Not a damn thing!
19 posted on 03/08/2003 8:33:11 AM PST by Live free or die
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To: Xthe17th
"I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government -- I'd give it all up for one erection.

- Groucho Marx
20 posted on 03/08/2003 8:35:49 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult ("Read Hillary's hips. I never had sex with that woman.")
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To: Polybius
"If death toll equated with bravery, zooplankton would qualify as the bravest organisms in the Animal Kingdom."

LOL! LOL! I gotta remember this line. It's too good not to use in some future conversation...

21 posted on 03/08/2003 8:36:44 AM PST by Exeter
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To: Xthe17th
Looking for a quote which I think was from the movie "Yellowbeard". I'm going from memory but I think it was a British ship captain who said "we must sweep the seas clear of the French until the rest of the world figures out what a great idea it is."
22 posted on 03/08/2003 8:40:18 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult ("Read Hillary's hips. I never had sex with that woman.")
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To: Xthe17th
Heaven: A place where the French are the cooks, the Germans are the engineers, and the British are the policemen.

Hell: A place where the British are the cooks, the French are the engineers, and the Germans are the policemen.
23 posted on 03/08/2003 8:45:14 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult ("Read Hillary's hips. I never had sex with that woman.")
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To: Xthe17th

24 posted on 03/08/2003 8:48:19 AM PST by TheRedSoxWinThePennant
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To: Xthe17th
Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English?

A: Welcome!
25 posted on 03/08/2003 9:09:18 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult ("Read Hillary's hips. I never had sex with that woman.")
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To: harpseal
Quite true, but is it fair to suggest they were cowards?

Italy was checked by the Albanians, Greeks, French, English and won a squeaker against the Ethiopians between 1936 and 1941. You could throw in the Austrians (allbeit led by Rommel)in 1915. All were OFFENSIVE wars rather than defensive measures that the French were fighting...quite a difference, eh?

Sadly, the French, Germans, and Russians are playing a game of power politics that is well over the heads of the average war hawk who thinks France is just being, well, France. Americans will discover soon enough when the creditors that have been supporting our welfare state start buying Euros rather than t-bills.


26 posted on 03/08/2003 9:16:49 AM PST by JohnGalt
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To: Polybius
If death toll equated with bravery, zooplankton would qualify as the bravest organisms in the Animal Kingdom.

Bravo!
27 posted on 03/08/2003 9:18:31 AM PST by gitmo (You know, I feel more now, like I did, than when I first got here.)
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To: gitmo
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. -- Dennis Miller
28 posted on 03/08/2003 9:28:06 AM PST by Smedley
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To: raybbr
"Cheese eating surrender monkeys." -- Homer Simpson
29 posted on 03/08/2003 9:32:10 AM PST by Smedley
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To: Xthe17th
When all is said and done we shall discover that Saddam, who controls, and dips his fingers into, his country's treasury as if it were his own, gave lots of money to both Chirac (who claims a close, long-standing relationship with the tyrant that dates back to 1975 and before), and Schroder, who comes from extremely modest beginnings, on the guise of contributing to their political campaigns. Saddam must also have had similar arrangements with Putin/Ivanov, given the huge volume of business dealings between the two countries.
30 posted on 03/08/2003 9:34:24 AM PST by Diogenes
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To: Smedley
Official French Peace Treaty - Form

French Peace Treaty Signed this __________ day of _________ in the year _____. We, the Government of France do hereby surrender, unconditionally, to the Army(ies) of ________________, _______________, _______________, (additional space available on back if necessary). We do not wish hostilities to continue with aforementioned Army (ies) as it may lead to pain and suffering of our proud army. We will allow aforementioned Army (ies) to occupy our country, drink our wine, violate our women (children left to us), and to have unfettered access to anything else they should desire, for as long a time period as they wish. Please do not hurt us, we are a peaceful country that has no real army to defend ourselves (America…PLEASE HELP). X______________________________ President, Jacques 'Le Worm' Chirac

31 posted on 03/08/2003 9:35:31 AM PST by friendly
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To: Polybius
Rhetorical value of equating the numberof casualties with bravery: Zero

Especially in light of the relevant numbers:

Number of French soldiers killed in all of World War II: 122,000 (far fewer than any other major power)

American: 290,000

Great Britain: 305,000

USSR: 11,285,000

32 posted on 03/08/2003 9:37:45 AM PST by Frunabulax ("If the truth will kill them, let them die.")
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To: Xthe17th
The French make the best utitity knives, though. Here's Old Yeller:

http://www.75thrangers.com/french.html
33 posted on 03/08/2003 9:48:56 AM PST by kcar
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To: JohnGalt
Yet we can all thank France for establishing the first modern police state which was the fore-runner of all other totalitarian regimes ... Napoleon's France. I have nothing but contempt for the French ... as my father who served during WWII told me ... "What do you expect from people who fight with their feet and f**k with their faces?"

Having served and been to France myself, I personally, wouldn't walk across the street to piss in their mouths if their teeth were on fire.

34 posted on 03/08/2003 9:58:22 AM PST by Colt .45 (Certo scio, occisam saepe sapere plus multo suem.)
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To: Xthe17th
"France is where all good
Americans go when they
die
." -- Chuck Jones cartoon
35 posted on 03/08/2003 10:03:13 AM PST by theFIRMbss
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To: Colt .45
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. -- Douglas William Jerrold

I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French. -- Charles de Gaulle

The French are a tremendously verbal race: they kill you with their assurances, their repetitions, their reasons, their platitudes, their formulae, their propositions, their solutions. -- Christina Stead

In France one must adapt oneself to the fragrance of a urinal. -- Gertrude Stein

There's something Vichy about the French. -- Ivor Novello

It's easy to forget how central the French people are in everything we mean when we say Europe. -- John Dos Passos

It is not that the French are not profound, but they all express themselves so well that we are led to take their geese for swans. -- Van Wyck Brooks
36 posted on 03/08/2003 10:03:24 AM PST by Ipberg
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"when it comes down to it,france is a like a blocked toilet,a $hithole filled to the brim of floating turds"-Razbinn
37 posted on 03/08/2003 10:10:15 AM PST by razbinn (I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,and the republic for which it stands)
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To: razbinn
of=with
38 posted on 03/08/2003 10:15:31 AM PST by razbinn (I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,and the republic for which it stands)
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To: Xthe17th
P. J. O'Rourke Bump

P.J.'s Books ar awesome.

39 posted on 03/08/2003 10:17:35 AM PST by Mad Dawgg (French: old Europe word meaning surrender)
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To: cloud8
France claims only one prominent soldier named Napoleon, but he hailed from Corsica, part of the Genovese "empire." His name was really Buonaparte. He ruled all of Europe at one time, killed hundreds of thousands of people, including French, and is commemorated by a large tomb in Paris that few people ever see. It is a dusty, ugly mausoleum with hole-in-the-floor-no-paper heads. Sorta reflects the French ideals of culture and civilization. Yuk!
40 posted on 03/08/2003 10:25:58 AM PST by Paulus Invictus (Coke make)
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To: Xthe17th
I was given these in e-mail recently. I accept neither credit nor blame for originating them:

------



Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.


Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy....


Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.


Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.


Q: The French have just ordered a new national flag.
A: It's a white cross on a white background


Q: Where do you find 60million French jokes?
A: In France.


Q: How many gears in a French tank?
A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.


Something to ponder:
You are the President of the United States. Scientists have
discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas.

As the President, you must decide. Do you :

A. Stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live?

or

B. Tape it and watch it in the morning?
41 posted on 03/08/2003 10:31:17 AM PST by Pastor of Muppets
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To: Ipberg
"Never was there a country where the practice of governing too much had taken deeper root and done more mischief." Tom Jefferson, and he knew from close experience. The French have not changed. Never will.
42 posted on 03/08/2003 10:33:25 AM PST by Paulus Invictus (Coke make)
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To: Xthe17th

From the Department of Homeland Security:
What to do if terror strikes and you are French



1. Get in a fetal position and begin crying. That is all.

43 posted on 03/08/2003 11:44:06 AM PST by SAMWolf (We do not bargain with terrorists, we stalk them, corner them , take aim and kill them)
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To: SAMWolf
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter

44 posted on 03/08/2003 11:49:01 AM PST by friendly
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To: Live free or die; JohnGalt
I agree Italy's record in WWII was nothing spectacular and I am making no comment about the bravery of French soldiers merely presenting a couple of facts. The big problem the French had was a severe lack of insight by most of their Generals and politicians at the start of World War II. Many of the French Army who died in WWII died in prison camps after their forced surrender. I note that in the Franco Prussian War, and World War I the German army came from the northeast of France and still the heaviest fortifications were concentrated in the Maginot line.

As to WWI the Battle of the Marne was probably the finest hour of the French Army. The so called phony war was one of France's greatest mistakes. The Free French in 1944 and 1945 performed very honorably.
45 posted on 03/08/2003 11:55:20 AM PST by harpseal (Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown)
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To: Colt .45
That's the funny part really. I get called a Hitler worshipper for suggesting we should have left the French to the Nazi's and Stalin, and on this thread I'm made out to be a Francophile.

My only comment is that the French solidier is as brave and capable as the next, it was their leadership that was corrupt, uneducated, and incompetent; same with the Italian Army during WW2. The French are still a better friend who have contributed several great works to Western culture and they did keep out the Muslim Hordes.

France, like Germany, has been a battleground for so long, can you blame them for wanting peace? Where as Britian and the United States have had skirmishes on the edges of empire to no better avail I might add, save an ugly 'win' in the Philipines War over a hundred years ago. (Grenada, I believe is something to be quite proud of, on the otherhand, TY RR.)
46 posted on 03/08/2003 11:59:18 AM PST by JohnGalt
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To: JohnGalt
Where as Britian and the United States have had skirmishes on the edges of empire to no better avail I might add, save an ugly 'win' in the Philipines War over a hundred years ago. (Grenada, I believe is something to be quite proud of, on the otherhand, TY RR.)

Excuse me: "skirmishes on the edge of empire"? What the bloody hell do you think the Blitz was all about? We got firebombed out of our homes here in London night after night. Paris, on the other hand, surrendered in plenty of time to prevent damage.

What's wrong with the French is very simple - ever since the end of the First World War, they have been vulnerable to a school of thought which says that surrender is preferable to war. This is not a school of thought which has, fortunately, caught on elsewhere with the exceptions of Berkeley and Hampstead. I recommend William Shirer's excellent book, "The Collapse of the Third Republic" for more information.

In any event, this pernicious school of thought informs French policy to this day, calculated, philosophical cowardice. It is contemptible. And it is contemptible to label it otherwise.

Ivan

47 posted on 03/08/2003 12:05:40 PM PST by MadIvan (Learn the power of the Dark Side, www.thedarkside.net)
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To: Paulus Invictus
France claims only one prominent soldier named Napoleon, but he hailed from Corsica, part of the Genovese "empire." His name was really Buonaparte. He ruled all of Europe at one time, killed hundreds of thousands of people, including French, and is commemorated by a large tomb in Paris that few people ever see. It is a dusty, ugly mausoleum with hole-in-the-floor-no-paper heads. Sorta reflects the French ideals of culture and civilization. Yuk!

Also his tomb lists "Moscow" as a victory. No.

Regards, Ivan

48 posted on 03/08/2003 12:07:04 PM PST by MadIvan (Learn the power of the Dark Side, www.thedarkside.net)
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To: harpseal
I am certainly no Francophile, but I am sickened that such slanders to the character of the individual Frenchmen are tolerated on this website where the mere mention of Israel in the slightest negative light will have the anti-Semite branding iron burned into a thread.

There was a great revisionist (in the true sense not the deniers sense) book I read last year that argued German tactics had brought Germany to the brink of victory in 1917 only to have America enter the war and upset the balance of power. (American anglo-philes have no concept of continental politics.) The book continued that the German Army continued these tactics in 1939-1940 and secured their 'rightful' victory. Strange, that liberal historian Barbara Tuchman's 'Guns of August' carried the theme that 'if only' Germany had carried out the Schlieffen plan as originally conceived and conquered Paris in 1914, the war would have been quick and short. Well, the Wehmarcht did just that in May-June 1940 and corrected the balance of power. So internationalists need to make up their mind which story they wish to tell.

Hitler's terms were incredibly reasonable considering Britain still loomed a belligerent; he even allowed the Vichy government to fight Mussolini to a draw in the South, which gave returned incredible morale to the Southern French who viewed their Northern countrymen probably the same way the neo-cons talk about the whole of France.
49 posted on 03/08/2003 12:12:52 PM PST by JohnGalt
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To: MadIvan
William Shirer is a far left journalist; perhaps your views are shaped by a propagandist rather than a historian?

I suggest you read a Conservative Thatcherite like Clive Ponting, but I would not expect you to read conservatives. I read Shirer's book; great drama, poor history.

Yes, French political culture is contemptible and frankly, I am not sure why the British teamed up with them twice, but to question the bravery of the individual French solider from a bunch of yahoos on a website post anonymously is beneath contempt.
50 posted on 03/08/2003 12:21:21 PM PST by JohnGalt
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