To: Mia T; carlo3b; jellybean
posted on 03/12/2003 12:06:13 AM PST
(The Clinton Legacy Cookbook is here!!!!!!!!!!!)
To: christie; carlo3b
The clinton Legacy Cookbook BUMP...
...but with this caveat:
The clintons are NOT edible.
The process depicted by the cover illustration is not culinary; it is punitive
- GEFILTE FISHY
- by Mia T
- The clintons:
- Meshuga, tref, tsuris.
- Shopworn shtick, schmaltz, tsimmes.
- Ganef, schlemiel, schlimazel.
- A crooked putz with a big schnozzle.
- Nudnik, nebbish, tummler.
- Two chachkas on Geraldo's mantle, two schnorrers.
- Kibitzer, kvetch with chutzpah.
- Yenta, spieler, two stuffed kishkas.
- BAGELby Mia T
- A Katz's delicatessen bump.
- (The best in New York City.)
- (Send your boy in the Army a salami)
- (It's a Jewish thang, ya wouldn't understand!)
- Me, I prefer a New York bagel, some nova and a (fat-free) schmeer. . .
- The bagel's attenuation, BTW,
- has nothing whatever to do with triangulation,
- Safire notwithstanding.
- (The clintons analogize not to the bagel's substance but to its hole.)
- The modern bagel is not trying to be a doughnut.
- The doughnut-ization of the bagel is illusory.
- The tough torus softened because of technology,
- not demographics, or even demagogues. . .
- It all boils down to boiling...
- and, according to some bagel purists, New York water!
- Real bagels are first boiled in a kettle,
- then rinsed and cooled in a fresh water trough.
- Only then are they baked.
- The boiling process
- reduces the starch and increases the gluten
- to produce the real bagel's
- characteristic leaden heft, golden brown thin crust and chewy center.
- So-called bagel stores in recent years have skipped this very important step.
- They steam the bagels in a rack oven
- producing the ubiquitous,
- (and quite-by-accident doughnut-esque),
- ersatz bagel.
- Why this happened:
- Real-bagel makers are dying off and taking their trade secrets with them.
- Real-bagel making is more time- and labor-intensive.
- Boiling reduces shelf-life...
- Would that we had parboiled the co-presidents, too...
posted on 03/12/2003 1:04:35 AM PST
by Mia T
(SCUM (Stop Clintons' Undermining Machinations))
To: christie; sultan88
Note to self: Order a Clinton Legacy Cookbook!
posted on 03/13/2003 8:01:36 AM PST
(Every picture tells a story, don't it?)
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