In God We Trust…..Semper Fi
In God We Trust.....Semper Fi
Posted on 03/14/2003 8:40:15 AM PST by TADSLOS
Soldier: 'You Can Get Rid Of the Mint Brownie, Sir'
CAMP WOLF, Kuwait -- This may seem a strange place to conduct consumer research, but the man with the notebook couldn't have it any better.
"OK, you don't like the Thai chicken," food technologist Michael Acheson says, scribbling the comments of Spc. Joe Diggins, one of a dozen Army infantrymen, snipers and scouts gathered around him in a semicircle.
Mr. Acheson normally works outside Boston at the Army's Combat Feeding Directorate in Natick, Mass., where Meals Ready-to-Eat are developed and tested. Meals Ready-to-Eat, or MREs, are the military's infamously long-lasting foodstuffs encased in rubbery, brown plastic bags that look like large bricks and are strong enough, according to government standards, to survive being parachuted in from airplanes flying at 2,000 feet, or simply dropped from a helicopter without a parachute at 100 feet.
Mr. Acheson tastes so many MRE entrees he must continually spit them out so he doesn't get fat, much as wine tasters do to avoid getting drunk.
But nothing beats feedback from grunts on the ground, for whom MREs have long been the subject of jokes, twisted appreciation and, in the case of certain entrees, avoidance. Soldiers eat them while training, while fighting, while waiting for war. The more they sit, they more they talk about MREs.
At Camp Wolf, a holding station near the Kuwait City airport, Mr. Acheson meets waves of U.S. troops passing through, Spc. Diggins among them. Mr. Acheson assures him that Thai chicken improvements are on the way. Two ingredients -- bamboo shoots and water chestnuts -- have returned. "They're here to stay," Mr. Acheson says. "You've got to have that crunch in there."
Officially, Mr. Acheson, 53 years old, is a civilian volunteer who, among other duties, helps process military contractors who tag along with highly mechanized military units. A culinary-trained Army veteran who once cooked for a general, he wears desert-camouflage clothing, sports a bushy mustache and a floppy tan hat, and carries a gas mask on his hip. "Every spare moment I have, I talk about food," he says.
One of his targets: Spc. Diggins's bunch, a unit of the Army's 101st Airborne division, whose responses come flying at him.
"Those pound cakes, those are awesome. Keep them all, the plain vanilla, the orange, the pineapple, the lemon-poppy seed, the spice," says Spc. Justin Morrow.
"You can get rid of the mint brownie, sir," adds Pvt. Fernando Gutierrez.
"Everyone tries to pawn that one off, sir," agrees Sgt. First Class Dan Cunningham.
Mr. Acheson e-mails the useful tidbits back to headquarters in Massachusetts.
There are 24 main entree choices in MREs, such as beef teriyaki or cheese tortellini. Besides the main meal, each MRE contains a handful of smaller bags containing side dishes (lots of rice), desserts (M&Ms, Tootsie Rolls, Skittles) and extras (Tabasco sauce, chewing gum, wet wipes, instant coffee, olive-green matches). The MREs are labeled with the entree they offer, so soldiers can pick what they want. Each entree has a different set of sides and desserts. Some items can be heated by inserting them into a plastic bag, packed in the meal, with a chemical strip inside that bubbles up a hot poaching solution after soldiers add water.
MREs came into use about 20 years ago to replace the fabled military "C-rations," which came in little cans. The Army requires MREs to have a shelf life of three years at 80 degrees, or to keep for six months at 100 degrees, and to meet the Surgeon General's nutritional guidelines. The Army says it pays $6.77 per meal.
Some military camps are large enough to have mess tents, so soldiers eat MREs only part of the time. One MRE brick can weigh about 1½ pounds, so some soldiers will "field-strip" them -- that is, break them down to remove the condiments and packaging material they don't need -- to make them lighter to carry.
As with most aspects of the military, MREs are the stuff of legend. A widely shared notion: They're deliberately made to make those who eat them constipated, sparing soldiers one worry in the field.
"Absolutely not," Mr. Acheson says. Constipation is probably just a reaction to switching diets, he says.
What is clear is that MREs also are a ready source of entertainment. One game, dubbed the MRE Challenge, calls on contestants to remove all the smaller bags from the main bag, tear them open, pour the contents back into the outer bag and mix. Sprinkle in some match tips, Tabasco sauce and tissue paper for added zest. Add a little water. Stir. Then try to consume in less than 15 minutes.
"People get bored," says Spc. Joe Claussen. "I threw up about 12 or 14 minutes into it."
To break the monotony, soldiers trade MREs among themselves, and with troops of other countries. "In Somalia, the Belgians had the best MREs I ever saw," Spc. Claussen says. "They had goose pate. You had to trade four of our MREs for one of theirs."
After Operation Desert Storm, the Army says it figured out that soldiers would eat more if they were able to pick preferred meals, and, therefore, has been replacing unpopular items. Soldiers do say MREs are better than they used to be, save for a Beef with Mushrooms entree. "First bad one I had in a while," says Spc. Claussen. "No redeeming qualities whatsoever."
Mr. Acheson says the Army plans to cut Beef with Mushrooms from its 2003 offerings, along with Jamaican Pork Chop and Pasta with Alfredo Sauce. Soldiers are sometimes too tired, too hungry, too hot, too wet or moving too quickly to stop. So they eat a lot of MREs unheated. On that test, the Alfredo fails. Indeed, a cold Alfredo is the only MRE Mr. Acheson says he doesn't like.
Coming this year are Hearty Clam Chowder, Pot Roast with Vegetables and a Poppy Seed Pound Cake. "We're working on a salmon," he tells the soldiers.
"Yeech," says Lt. Eddie Commender.
"No, I tried it. It's good," Mr. Acheson says.
The soldiers offer far more positives than negatives, so Mr. Acheson presses: "I'm interested in what you don't like, too."
"The vegetable cracker is the worst thing they ever did to an MRE," Lt. Commender says.
"Mmm ... I've heard that a couple of other times today," Mr. Acheson says, making a note.
-- Sarah Ellison in New York contributed to this article.
In God We Trust…..Semper Fi
In God We Trust.....Semper Fi
"Yeech," says Lt. Eddie Commender.
"No, I tried it. It's good," Mr. Acheson says.
Ping!
Agreed. MRE's are bricks waiting to be excreted from the body. They're made to accomodate the calorie burn of soldiers in their late teens and early twenties, not us 40 something old farts. I could usually only eat one a day and made sure to drink ample water to help with the flush.
Cheers, CC :)
And yes, the mint chocolate cake is indeed weird. Tasty, but weird.
Yup, after eating a couple of them in the field, I sometimes went a week before nature would finally call. Back when I was in, MRE's had just replaced C-Rats, so we were the first guinea pigs. Ham and chicken loaf, and chicken ala king were the worst.
"Yeech," says Lt. Eddie Commender.
"No, I tried it. It's good," Mr. Acheson says.
TT Ping
"We are no longer taking orders for SURE-PAK meal cases due to current world events, and the resulting production increases in military product."
You guys should see the food that the contractor Brown and Root serves in Bosnia-----you would not believe it--awesome.
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