Skip to comments.Can the Da Vinci Code be a hit, despite critical assault (some satire included)
Posted on 05/19/2006 6:40:58 AM PDT by dangus
As the Da Vinci Code's approval ratings (15%) appear to be settling far beneath even President George Bush's immigration program, and left-wing conspiracy theories begin to sprout up that the whole controversy is just Karl Rove's evil plot to distract America from the Iraq War / Halliburton / The Washington Nationals' bullpen woes, I thought I'd see if it were possible that such a poorly reviewed movie could become a hit. So I checked the list of 324 movies which have made $100 million for any movies which seemed like they could have gotten such low ratings. These, then are the most critically unliked "hits" of them all:
Pearl Harbor, 25%, $199 million
Home Alone 2, 19%, $174 million
Fantastic 4, 25%, $155 million
Cheaper by the dozen, 24%, $139 million
Bad Boys 2, 25%, $137 million
Godzilla, 25%, $136 million
The Flintstones, 6%, $131 million
Van Helsing, 22%, $120 million
Hook, 21%, $119 million
Wild, Wild West, 19%, $114 million
Crocodile Dundee 2, 14%, $109 million
I put "hits" in quotes, because several of these movies cost far more than $100 million to make, and any movie which loses its makers tens of millions of dollars cannot properly be called a hit in my book.
At 15%, the Da Vinci Code is about as popular as Madeline Albright's remake of "Beach Blanket Bingo." I did think the Da Vinci Code was popular enough with so many readers it had to be a hit. Think "The Phantom Menace," a movie so bad it took shell-shocked fans months to admit how bad it was, despite featuring the bastard love child of Goofy and Barnie. Then again, Jar-Jar Binks was a bit easier to make into Happy Meal toy than a dead, naked curator with a Pentagram scratched into his back. But I didn't expect the French critics at the Cannes Film Festival to agree to authorize military action against Ron Howard.
It's unclear how the critical disaster will affect the careers of the stars of the Da Vinci Code. Rumors have it that "Wilson" is refusing to appear in "Cast Away 2," and Aubrey Tautoo has been roaming the streets of Paris, screaming at random people, "That's 'Amelie,' not 'Gigli'!"
All of the movies listed about S-CKED!
Oh, just say it out in the open. This isn't the Sixth Sense. She appears in a photograph in an earlier post on this thread.
The rest were indeed first order stinkeroos, though.
That's a sketchy bio but if his background is Phillips Exeter and Amherst, Catholic or Muslim seems unlikely.
More likely a mainline Protestant if he ever associated with religion.
I don't know if 'pride and joy' is correct.
Content aside, any good movie can be art. And it can affect you unlike other kinds of art.
A bad movie is garbage.
Almost all movies are productions of very large corporations so profit is always part of the equation. They are products to be consumed from the corporate perspective.
With a bad movie, the corporation stole your money. With a little thought, they might have made an adequate movie and given you value for your money.
Supposedly there is another person at the end who is revealed as the last descendant-- someone well-known-- not the French chick. Supposedly it is laughable.
There is a lot of speculation on the identity.
"There is a lot of speculation on the identity."
I relied on this as acurate:
By John Thavis
Catholic News Service
CANNES, France (CNS) -- Toward the end of the movie "The Da Vinci Code," the main character, Robert Langdon, tells his sleuthing partner, Sophie Neveu: "You are the last living descendent of Jesus Christ."
That line, meant to be the dramatic apex of the film, drew laughs from many of the approximately 900 journalists who viewed the film's first press screening May 16 at the Cannes Film Festival.
The derisive laughter, along with widely critical comments from reporters afterward, summed up the Cannes press reaction to the much-heralded launch of the movie. When the credits ran, silence and a few whistles drove home the response.
The movie sticks to most of the book's controversial religious elements, while softening some of the edges.
Well that is the exact ending of the book...
Because some movies are really terrible. That's not bad in and of it self, but when the movie claims to be something that it's not, a thinking persons movie, or a "historical" thriller, and turns out to be an overly long pile of doo-doo it's going to get creamed.
Now myself I am a fan of the Horror genre, and if you are a fan of horror movies your going to watch a lot of crap. But that's OK, because generally horror movies aren't distributed under the pretense that they are anything other than low-budget, popcorn muching, lurid, cheesy, tougue in cheek fun. In short prentious movies with big name actors, that cost hundred of millions of dollars to make, better be damn good paticularly if they are going to go of their way to offend a large segment of the public.
You have responded to me both in public and private; I hope you do not mind that I respond to you in public, but some of what I say is "general-education" material around here, and because I did invoke the mods.
I did not call you delusional, or an idiot. I did say your arguments are intellectually weak, but that does not mean that you are incapable of making stronger arguments.
However, it appears that there is a little bit of a cultural gap between us. Being made aware of it, I'll be a little less presumptuous of what you should know.
I recognize that what Americans consider forthright and honest comes across in many cultures as blunt and crude; and, contrarily, what many other cultures consider mandatory respect comes across to Americans as manipulative or passive-aggressive, especially when the rest of your conduct does not demonstrate that same respect. I have many immigrant friends who took some time adjusting to America, where people say what they mean; and I know George Bush comes across as a cowboy for the very same straight-talking that makes many "red-state" Americans love him so much. In fact, real Americans LIKE cowboys.
What I refer to in your case is that you always say, "Good morning sir" and "Best regards." As a sincere gesture of respect, that is very well appreciated. However, you suggested that I "took pride and joy bashing on movies," the way "we used to maybe in the 3rd grade." When that level of disrespect is shown, then all the niceties are received as insincere or ironically disrespectful.
"Passive-aggressive" refers to conduct which is made to seem polite, passive, or peaceful, but which actually has an aggressive intent. In some countries, such as France, it is seen as diplomatic. In America, it is seen as weak, underhanded and dishonest. I'll admit to being aggressive; what I faulted you for wasn't being aggressive, but being passive-aggressive.
As for the purpose of this web site:
The world is full of sources of liberal perspectives and viewpoints, and frankly, most of us are sick of it. It's not all about having the same point of view: there are many flavors of conservativism, and many sources of disagreement among conservatives. And we love a good debate over thesee issues. But most of us are simply sick of hearing the same smarmy, smart-ass liberal crap over and over again. We don't come here to read it.
Not every argument here is necessarily logical or cool-headed. We do take fun in being a little smart-ass towards liberalism, or even, occasionally, gloating. But as I commented in front of the admin, if you are going to take a liberal point of view, it had better provide a uniquely insightful approach; we come here because we are sick of liberals, and like to have some honest discussions among ourselves, without having to put up with the same old boring liberal presumptions.
Pearl Harbor, 25%, $199 million - Terrible movie. No talent having Ben Affleck puts me makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Tora! Tora! Tora! had better special effects.
Home Alone 2, 19%, $174 million - Can't recall the plot, but I remember rooting the bad guys would strangle McCauley Caulkin.
Fantastic 4, 25%, $155 million - Want to like this. Snooze fest.
Cheaper by the dozen, 24%, $139 million - Haven't seen it. I was in the play in highschool.
Bad Boys 2, 25%, $137 million - Best of the bunch I have seen. Mindless, cliched, and completely action packed. Probably worth watching just for the freeway chase.
Godzilla, 25%, $136 million - Terrible. The lizard in your front yard is more interesting.
The Flintstones, 6%, $131 million - Another snoozer..
Van Helsing, 22%, $120 million - Tricked by a great trailer into paying to see this CGI filled trash. Awful. Boring. I have more chemistry with Kate Beckinsale then Hugh Jackman.
Hook, 21%, $119 million - Mind numbingly bad.
Wild, Wild West, 19%, $114 million - Utter garbage. Ruined a great TV show.
Crocodile Dundee 2, 14%, $109 million - Paul who?
Maybe you should consider that (a) this movie both "takes pride and joy" and hopes to turn a huge profit off of slandering the most deeply-held beliefs of 1.3 billion Christians and (b) falsely characterizes an orthodox organization of lay Catholics as a group of sado-masochistic, murderous nutcases.
>> All of the movies listed about S-CKED! <<
Well, it is a list of the all-time worst-reviewed big-budget movies...
You sure you want to admit having seen every one of the worst-rated movies ever? :^D
>> I have more chemistry with Kate Beckinsale then Hugh Jackman. <<
You, sir, are my idol. :^D
i shouldn't admit to it, but I actually did like some elements of "stigmata," a movie rife with heresies and Catholic bad-guy plot points, but which made no claims to being true, and was not presented as a thinking-man's movie. (The gospel that stigmata claimed the Catholic Church was violently trying to keep hidden was, in fact, published by Catholic historians. It was the howlingly silly "Gospel of Thomas.")
>> She appears in a photograph in an earlier post on this thread. <<
Madeline ALBRIGHT in Beach-Blanket Bingo???
(Oh, right, my computer mysteriously crashed on me as I was trying to post that picture.)
Really? I thought Stigmata was hokey, lazy, and just plain silly. But it was marketed as a horror movie, so I dutifully went to see it (I am Catholic btw.) Hoping for some sinister demons, or something more along the lines of the Exorcist or the Omen, I was sorely dissapointed.
As a psuedo-religious fantasy movie, Constantine was much better done.
Do note that I said, "I actually did like elements of...", not exactly a whole-hearted endorsement.
As for Constantine, it struck me essentially as a knock-off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with a little dab of blasphemy, and lacking the cuties or the humor.
At least "Lost Boys" had some humor in it. And it's more preposterous elements, like the Frog brothers, actually were quite real on another level. (13-year-old boys who, thinking they were all bad and that because they were finally going to get a chance to use all the silly vampire-legend stuff they have learned, run in terror at the sight of a real vampire.) Cool INXS song. And nice use of a Doors song. Didn't take itself too seriously, but wasn't merely goofy schtick.
Hollywood announces for the umpty-thousandth time, "We are unable to generate an original idea. Or even copy an idea."
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