Why NOT Having Sex Might be Good for You

Fox News ^ | 9-22-10 | Steven Crowder

[mlizzy]

Sex. Some of us do it, most of us like it and we all think about it…. A lot. I know I do (though I was told that it’s normal). Gettin’ busy really isn’t the taboo subject that it once was.

Whereas once upon a time the conversation was relegated to whispers behind closed doors, nowadays it’s discussed openly and without shame. As a stand-up comedian, I’ve seen hacks openly depict the most depraved, explicit sexual acts they can think of just to get a laugh out of the audience. Clearly, telling wiener jokes is no longer the treading of new territory that it once was.

Funnily enough, today there is one area of sex that when discussed, still makes people’s posteriors pucker with discomfort… abstinence. --SNIP--

I can tell you beyond any doubt, that my lady is able to control herself and stick to her values regardless of circumstance. Just as surely, she can say the same about me (Ben&Jerry’s benders notwithstanding). It is that display of self-control, that tangible example of living your principles through your life’s walk that ensures her that I won’t be jumping on the first well-proportioned opportunity that comes my way. By the same token, I can rest easy knowing that my dame won’t be trying to bed Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” anytime soon. -- Though he does have great abs.

[mlizzy]

Funny guy! Nice column on abstinence.

[RockinRight]

***PLACES FINGERS IN EARS AND GOES LA LA LA LA LA***

[barbarianbabs]

Wish my X thought that way!

[cripplecreek]

Sex, posterior, and pucker are probably not the best words to use together.

[HerrBlucher]

Hmmm, I read the title as “Why Not? Having sex might be good for you.” I fully expected a Christine Odonell bashing post.....LOL! I guess I have a dirty mind.

[NellieMae]

Yeah really! That does conjure up some nasty little mind pictures, huh?

[therightliveswithus]

ummmmmmm...

[Freedom56v2]

Great role model!

[Bringbackthedraft]

As a kid I was brought up to behave like a gentlemen. I wish that thingy in my pants would have done so too, but it had a mind of its own.

[BookaT]

All this talk... I will be back in 7 minutes.lol

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Haha - he doesn’t mean you! It was a good article - not preachy, but right on the money - Why is it that being a skank is considered “empowering”? Everyone knows the girl is hoping some guy will sweep her off her feet because she’s so much fun. It isn’t a sexual gratification thing, it’s a husband hunting technique. It’s kind of like a free samples at the whore house attitude.

[Boogieman]

“It isn’t a sexual gratification thing, it’s a husband hunting technique. It’s kind of like a free samples at the whore house attitude.”

Ha, but who wants to marry a whorehouse? Not me...

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

To be serious for a moment, abstinence makes biological sense.

1) As a rule of thumb in biology, having a limited number of high quality offspring is generally better for a species that having a multitude of offspring, with a high mortality rate.

2) The single purpose of sex is reproduction. Any of the other purposes to it are very secondary, and are often in support of this primary goal.

3) There is a multitude of reproductive strategies, to help insure the best offspring, as far as their survival and reproduction go.

a) The male prerogative is to provide genetic diversity, and for as many offspring as possible to have their DNA. The female prerogative is to get both the best sperm donor, and the best male provider to help her raise her offspring. Humans have improved on this with the idea of monogamous marriage, which gives a better outcome to all, male, female and children.

b) Males and females who have not produced children need a higher metabolism and “edgier” psychology to compete for, and find a mate, that do adults in a monogamous relationship who have reproduced. They need a slower metabolism and a “steadier” psychology to provide for and raise their children.

4) People have a finite amount of energy as far as sex and reproduction goes. This is because sex, reproduction and the raising of children is very energy consumptive. If they have used too much of their energy up before having children, their children will be disadvantaged.

5) People however, vary considerably in the amount of energy they have naturally. Some have so little that reproduction is out of the question for them, and sex, if any, must be very judicious. Others have an abundance of energy.

Our society lacks a social niche for those with little energy, or physical incapability, for sex, marriage and children. Yet if they remain abstinent, they will have enough energy to make important contributions to society—just not children.

Those with enough energy should also consider saving it up, to give their children the benefit of having more energetic parents.

[trisham]

It’s astonishing. :)

[Vide]

Not having sex would have been good for Morgan Freeman.

[r9etb]

We just need to eat more Graham Crackers.

[Erasmus]

As a stand-up comedian, I’ve seen hacks openly depict the most depraved, explicit sexual acts they can think of just to get a laugh out of the audience.

Punch lines:

"And what do you call this act?"

"The...Democrats!"

[ClearCase_guy]

Ha, but who wants to marry a whorehouse? Not me...

That's the great irony, isn't it?

Imagine Harvard Business School telling students to always price their product above the compeititon, always go for low quality standards, and never spend money on customer support. People would graduate with all the wrong ideas, but they would be thinking "Whoo-Hoo! I'm gonna be rich!"

Yeah, it's crazy.

Meanwhile, the feminists have taught a couple of generations of women that if you act like a complete whore, men will think you're so much fun that they will want to marry you.

Errrrmmm, no. Sorry. You've been misled, Sweetie.

[catnipman]

And not having sex might be bad for you too:

Forbes

[allmendream]

“It could taste like sweet potatoe pie, but I wouldn’t know, cuz I won’t eat the filty *&%$#@%&*#(.”