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Choose Your Pope!
You Tube ^ | 2-24-13 | Lutheran Satire

Posted on 02/24/2013 3:38:56 PM PST by ReformationFan

The latest from Lutheran Satire. I think all critics(both Protestant and Roman Catholic alike) of theological liberalism can appreciate this one.


TOPICS: Catholic; Current Events; Humor; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: catholic; chooseyourpope; lutheransatire; pope; romancatholic; satire

1 posted on 02/24/2013 3:39:07 PM PST by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan

I hear the Admin Moderator is up for the job.

Pope Zotius.


2 posted on 02/24/2013 3:57:50 PM PST by bigheadfred
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To: ReformationFan

Glad to see this is satire.

Not for us to choose. All we can do is pray.


3 posted on 02/24/2013 4:07:03 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: ReformationFan

Pope Josey Wales I


4 posted on 02/24/2013 4:08:39 PM PST by Rashputin (Jesus Christ doesn't evacuate His troops, He leads them to victory.)
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The new 21st century pope to compliment our 21st century president


5 posted on 02/24/2013 4:22:29 PM PST by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average IQ. In the US the number is 54%)
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To: ReformationFan
Hey, RF, I think it's pretty good even though the gal-person talked so fast I didn't understand one word she said (I do have a hearing disability) (for real) and yet I could GUESS what she was saying, despite total lack of facial expression, gesture, or body language. Let's see if I got this right:

1. You gonna go on being uptight shrivel-ass celibate male sexists, or you gonna have women priests?

2. Abortion-contraception-sodomy-fornication-divorce/remarriage, embryo-cannibalism, and you can pick one of your "traditional" Sacraments to round it out to seven. OK?

3 Blah-blah global warming, inclusion diversity sustainability, small carbon footprint, eat the rich, beat and strip the middle class, infantilize/brutalize the poor, social justice (but I repeat myself), stop being mean and just give Israel to the Palestinians, and while you're at it, give Italy to North Africa. OK?

#4, after the break, was probably quite a doozy, but it must have been something like, "Stop worshipping Jesus, he is offensive to Gaia because he was a MAN! OK?"

:oP

Did I come close?

6 posted on 02/24/2013 5:17:20 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: dsrtsage

Is this a famous person?


7 posted on 02/24/2013 5:19:06 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o (asdfgh)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Famous for being famous. It’s Kim Kardashian, and the funny thing is until I grabbed that picture, I can proudly say that I didn’t know what she looked like either (though I can’t say that anymore).


8 posted on 02/24/2013 5:30:45 PM PST by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average IQ. In the US the number is 54%)
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To: dsrtsage

:o)


9 posted on 02/24/2013 5:33:27 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o (asdfgh)
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To: dsrtsage

I guessed it although I’ve never before actually seen her. Apparently she’s an intellectual and deep thinker?


10 posted on 02/24/2013 5:36:44 PM PST by steve86 (Acerbic by Nature, not NurtureĀ™)
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To: Salvation

I’d like to choose the guy who will excommunicate all Kennedys, Bidens, and Cuomos!


11 posted on 02/24/2013 5:40:23 PM PST by miserare
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To: miserare

...and Kardashians!


12 posted on 02/24/2013 5:41:36 PM PST by miserare
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To: ReformationFan

Pope Pompous.


13 posted on 02/24/2013 5:42:24 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: ReformationFan

Vote for Pedro.


14 posted on 02/24/2013 5:49:55 PM PST by BipolarBob (Happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor.)
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To: ReformationFan; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows

My best pal’s brother is a Cardinal, and he promised him to send texts during potty breaks when the Conclave meets.


15 posted on 02/24/2013 5:54:04 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: ReformationFan

LOL! My husband, 25 yr. old daughter and I got a kick out of that!


16 posted on 02/24/2013 6:56:23 PM PST by SuziQ
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To: Revolting cat!; ReformationFan; a fool in paradise
My best pal’s brother is a Cardinal, and he promised him to send texts during potty breaks when the Conclave meets.

What, he can't live-tweet it?

17 posted on 02/24/2013 8:18:30 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: ReformationFan
The female character in the video nailed the character of 90% of the Catholics I knew during my 20 year stay in the not-so-great state of Massachusetts, including my ex wife and her siblings and parents.
18 posted on 02/25/2013 5:39:57 AM PST by jacknhoo (Luke 12:51. Think ye, that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, no; but separation.)
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To: jacknhoo; ReformationFan; SuzyQ; Tax-chick
Got the transcript from Fr. Z's Blog!

A recent college graduate, Kelly earned a BA in Advanced Feng-Shui Marketing. A self-described way-devoted super-Catholic, Kelly has attended mass almost 7 times. Therefore, making her opinions on the theological direction of the Catholic church entirely valid and perfectly worthy of public attention.

Question #1: Since I have absolutely no interest in knowing the scriptural and historical reasons for the male only priesthood, and since my Religious Worldviews in the Feminist Paradigm professor told me that, like, five of the apostles were totally women, I think the Catholic Church is finally ready for women priests. You guys agree, right?

Oulette: No.
Turkson: No.
Scola: No.

“Question #2: Like most devout Catholic women who don’t go to Mass and don’t believe anything the Church says, I use birth control because babies are a lot of work and my boyfriend and I totally need to re-tile our master bathroom. That’s cool with you guys, right?”

Oulette: “No.”
Turkson: “No.”
Scola: “No.”

“You guys are lame.”

Question #3: I like the aesthetics of the Catholic Church but don’t like its theology. I support no-fault divorce, abortion rights, gay marriage, gender-neutral language, and think that it’s mean to criticize Islam. I couldn’t be more of a liberal episcopalian if Katherine Jefferts-Schiori formed me from the dust from the ground, and yet I still inexplicably identify myself as a Catholic.

Cardinal Ouellet: Is there a question coming any time soon?

Kelly: Unless you want to be elected bishop of mysogyny, don’t interrupt me! My question is this: even though my utter indifference towards the church that perfectly represents my theology clearly reveals that there’s no way that I’ll ever come back to the Catholic faith, you guys will still cast aside your vows to be faithful to the teachings of the Catholic Church unto death and 2000 years of tradition in a pathetic attempt to woo me, right?

Oulette: “No.”
Turkson: “No.”
Scola: “No.”

Question #4: My favourite TV show is “Glee”…

Cardinal Ouellet: Oh, sweet mercy, no!
Cardinal Turkson: Stop!
Cardinal Scola: Please shut your mouth before the Angel of Death destroys us all!


19 posted on 02/26/2013 4:26:15 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o ("The Church of the Living God: the pillar and foundation of the truth." - 1 Tim 3:15)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Excellent writing by LS.


20 posted on 02/27/2013 5:39:18 PM PST by ReformationFan
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