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My ten year-old nephew died today
myself | March 23, 2013 | myself

Posted on 03/24/2013 12:07:58 AM PDT by proud American in Canada

Hi, everyone.

I hesitated to do this, because I know it's not right to post and run. However, I will check this thread first thing in the morning and reply. because I'm going to try to get some sleep. I just was hoping for some prayers sent out for my ten year-old nephew who died today.

He had cancer, which spread to from his adrenal gland to his lungs, then to his brain. My sister, who lives in Wisconsin, called the ambulance yesterday; James slipped into a coma, which I learned early this a.m. At around 3, our family spoke to him (my husband, my daughter and son, and myself) to wish him goodbye. He died about 30 minutes later.

She called me at around 6 to tell me; I had some work to do at 6:30, which is unimportant.

At this point, I feel that my faith is a little shaken. I wear a Cross every day, and I was praying for him. Now I wonder, where is he? I felt so sure before, that the soul lives on, but now I don't know. And what can I do for my sister? She lives so far away.

Anyway, I felt I had to reach out, even though I am exhausted. I will try to sleep, and will reply tomorrow. I guess I'm asking now if for prayers for a ten year-old boy who will never know what's it's like to fall in love and have a family.

I don't understand why God takes the innocent.

Julie


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Prayer
KEYWORDS: cancer; deathofachild; prayer; youngchildren
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To: proud American in Canada

I will pray for his soul and for his family at Mass today.


101 posted on 03/24/2013 10:24:15 AM PDT by paterfamilias
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To: proud American in Canada

Prayers going up and cyber hugs going out to you and your family. As your nephew suffered through this disease he was figuratively on the Cross holding onto Christ so your wearing the Cross through this has much meaning for all of us reading - you are bringing all of us closer to Him. God has taken all your nephew’s suffering and has turned it into His Love showering down on all the world for the forgiveness of sin. It is unbearable to see such young ones and those we love go through this, unbearable except for the support and the Love of family and friends through which God heals our hearts along the best medicine, his Mercy and Grace.


102 posted on 03/24/2013 10:29:34 AM PDT by Domestic Church (AMDG ...)
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To: proud American in Canada
You and your family have my deepest condolences. I had been praying for your nephew nearly every day since I saw your earlier thread about him (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2879302/posts) last year. My prayers were simply that the "boy with adrenal cancer" get better and recover. I am very sorry that his condition worsened. Your family will continue to be in my prayers for the repose of his soul and that you may all one day be reunited again in Heaven with God forever.
103 posted on 03/24/2013 10:31:43 AM PDT by Ronaldus Magnus
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To: proud American in Canada

I cannot understand the loss of an innocent child, either. But I believe children like your nephew are very special, here to teach the rest of us compassion and love, giving more to the world in their short time here than most of us do in a longer lifetime, and now resting comfortably in the arms of the Lord. Deepest condolences, Julie, to you and your nephew’s family. Please don’t feel that you have to respond to this post. Your nephew, you, and the family will be in our prayers today.


104 posted on 03/24/2013 10:35:45 AM PDT by Tired of Taxes
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To: proud American in Canada

My prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.


105 posted on 03/24/2013 10:41:32 AM PDT by NoKoolAidforMe (I'm clinging to my God and my guns. You can keep the change.)
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To: proud American in Canada
Julie,
So sorry for your loss, my prayers for your nephew, you and your family. God does not "take" the innocent, or anyone else for that matter, but he does welcome them home. Your nephew now sings with the Angels.

With deepest sympathy,
Gandalf the Gray

106 posted on 03/24/2013 10:55:30 AM PDT by Gandalf_The_Gray (I live in my own little world, I like it 'cuz they know me here.)
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To: proud American in Canada
You ask why God takes the innocent, as if life on earth was a reward, and death a punishment for evil. But people rarely receive their reward on earth for their righteous or wicked deeds. Usually, justice waits for the time after death.

No, life on earth is not the best thing God has to offer us; heaven is. In the case of a beautiful young child like this, his death on earth is not God's punishment. Instead, God welcomes him quickly into heaven, where there is no weeping or pain, only love and perfect joy.

You say that your faith is shaken, and this is natural--you and your poor dear sister did not get what you asked God for. You prayed that Jamie would be cured, and God's answer was "Not on this earth, not now. He will join Me in heaven and will be cured there. He will be spared the travails of life on earth." In our pain, we often shriek to God, demanding and accusing Him. That's OK; He understands, and He can take it. Yet God is not an ATM who gives us whatever we ask, if we do it in the right way, or hard enough, or often enough, or if we round up enough people to join our prayers. We can't understand why He sometimes says No, and we must wait until we too are in heaven, rejoicing with the loved ones who went before us, before we learn His reasons.

The consolation, if you are a Christian, is that yes, we will someday rejoice in heaven with the loved ones who went there before us. It's a long, exasperating wait until then, but for some reason the Lord keeps some of us here longer, working in His service and learning His lessons, until we have done everything He wants us to do (or until we've had every chance to do so). Then you and your sister and your brother-in-law will be with this child again. If the desire to spend eternity in heaven with Christ isn't enough to motivate us to devote ourselves to Him, surely the hope of seeing our loved ones again is!

Until that happy day, let me tell you a secret: other Christians may disagree, but I believe--I know-- that in many cases, the dead will visit us before they go away. They may come in dreams or they may appear in the darkness while we are awake (not appearing to our eyes, but to other senses that have no names). Wait, listen, attend, and pray, and if it is permitted, you may have the comfort of some little sign of love from your nephew.

107 posted on 03/24/2013 11:10:13 AM PDT by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: proud American in Canada

Dear Julie,

It’s normal to question everything when something like this happens. But I truly believe your nephew is at peace in heaven now, with God and the angels and saints and those of your family who have gone before.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s OK, of course this totally s*cks. Please give our condolences to your poor sister and her family.

I’ll remember you and your nephew and family in my prayers.

Very, very sad.

Jessica


108 posted on 03/24/2013 11:37:54 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: proud American in Canada

My condolences to you and your family on your loss. May the young man rest in peace.


109 posted on 03/24/2013 12:05:13 PM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Prayers up for James and his loved ones. May the Good Lord grant peace to those here.


110 posted on 03/24/2013 12:30:17 PM PDT by Eagles6 (Valley Forge Redux)
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To: proud American in Canada

My heart hurts for your loss and for your confusion that you feel toward God. We live in a fallen world; however, God does not hold a 10-year-old accountable for salvation. He has saved your nephew, and that little guy is experiencing heaven even as you read this. I know that you prayed and prayed over him and that you wanted him made well. God wanted him well also. When we get to heaven, we will find out the answers to the “why” questions. For now, we must trust Him. It is the only way. May His comfort surround you and your nephew’s immediate family. The temptation will be to be angry with God and to stop talking to Him. I urge you to pour out your anguish upon Him. He is big enough to take it and can certainly understand how one feels when a loved one suffers and dies. God bless you.


111 posted on 03/24/2013 12:35:39 PM PDT by Faith
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To: proud American in Canada

I’m so sorry to hear about your nephew. May his spirit be with God, and may God comfort you. I believe your nephew is in Heaven, and I wish I understood why God allows things like this to happen. The only conclusion I can come to is that God has a plan, and it’s ultimately a fallen world because of sin. There will be suffering in this world, but if we live right, there won’t be in the next. The next is what matters because the next is eternal. I say these words to you, but I know they are far easier said than understood and lived when you’re in the situation you’re in.

Here is a song that is very comforting for the loss of a loved one, especially one who seems to have gone before his time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-hJ87ApWtw

This second song I have listened to this past week because we had to put our cat, who was a member of the family, down Tuesday after a brief but horrible illness claimed her too soon. It comforts me, and I believe it will bring you and your sister comfort:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8q_7iVQF0w


112 posted on 03/24/2013 12:56:07 PM PDT by Pinkbell
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To: proud American in Canada

Terrible news. Prayers for you and your family.


113 posted on 03/24/2013 12:56:33 PM PDT by tanuki (Left-wing Revolution: show biz for boring people.)
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To: proud American in Canada

I am so sorry for your loss. And...it is heaven’s gain so it’s not over for your nephew’s existence and you will see him again.

I will be praying for you and your family.


114 posted on 03/24/2013 1:06:09 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: proud American in Canada

Lord Jesus, rest the soul of the innocent young man with the saints and comfort his family.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen.


115 posted on 03/24/2013 1:32:17 PM PDT by annalex (fear them not)
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To: proud American in Canada

             

116 posted on 03/24/2013 1:33:57 PM PDT by tomkat
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To: proud American in Canada

You are as close to your sister as the telephone. I would let her know she can call at any hour and I would check on her by phone several times a day. My suggestion for regaining faith is prayer and meditation. There have been days in my own life when I have dropped to my knees at least once every waking hour, sometimes in an office cloak room. God will clarify everything in time. Though your nephew is beyond earthly cares you can visualize him with your every act of kindness and love.


117 posted on 03/24/2013 1:44:16 PM PDT by Brad from Tennessee (A politician can't give you anything he hasn't first stolen from you.)
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To: proud American in Canada

Julie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that sometimes I will start missing someone so much, that I just ask Jesus to give them a hug for me. It makes me feel better.


118 posted on 03/24/2013 1:51:11 PM PDT by Grammy
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To: proud American in Canada

Prayers for you and the family! So sorry...


119 posted on 03/24/2013 1:55:30 PM PDT by oust the louse (You need your parents signature to go on a school field trip but not to get an abortion.)
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To: proud American in Canada
My prayers up for your whole family. Rest assured your nephew is happy in a painless eternity in the arms of God our father.
120 posted on 03/24/2013 2:10:47 PM PDT by jmaroneps37 (Conservatism is truth. Liberalism is lies.)
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To: proud American in Canada

May the Lord use this to keep you close to Him, may He bring you and your family the peace that passes all understanding.

May the Lord heal your family’s pain and give you joy.


121 posted on 03/24/2013 2:16:28 PM PDT by GWfan
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To: proud American in Canada

Sorry Proud American,We will keep your family in our prayers.((((Hugs))))Fatima


122 posted on 03/24/2013 2:27:45 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today :))
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To: proud American in Canada

I feel as though any advice that I might offer might seem petty. Who can understand what has happened to you and your family? I have been close to 2 families that have been through similar situations; one losing a new born the other having lost their eight year old boy to leukemia. Both were and still are strong in faith. In fact, their faith stood out and gave courage to those around them. While neither family ever mentioned it, my guess is that they both went through similar circumstance, similar feelings of confusion and doubt or even abandonment by God. Maybe, when the time is right, you should reach out to families who have been through similar situations?

Give yourself some time. Using reason, you should understand that these feelings are normal for humans, that we might comprehend God’s place in this or how God would allow such a thing to happen to the innocent. That these feelings should become permanent would be the real issue.

In his book, “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People”, Rabbi Harold Kushner, who also lost one of his children, asks the same question. In the end he gives himself time to question God, as an angry child might question their parent. It’s okay. God will forgive you for these temporary feelings of anger and hopelessness, but what is important is to make your way back in faith.

I will be praying for you and your entire family this week. May God bring peace to you, your family and your sister’s family.


123 posted on 03/24/2013 3:09:45 PM PDT by incredulous joe ("No road is too long with good company" Turkish Proverb)
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To: proud American in Canada

...a precious dear innocent. What a tragic loss. I pray for the family, for you, for your nephew. Our Dear Lord cradles him in His loving arms. I believe that. No more suffering.
God bless.


124 posted on 03/24/2013 3:11:51 PM PDT by fatfertile
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To: proud American in Canada

So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and the family.


125 posted on 03/24/2013 4:18:19 PM PDT by tob2 (Want to sue the groundhog for inaccurate weather report!)
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To: proud American in Canada

I’m so very sorry, Julie. Prayers are on the way.


126 posted on 03/24/2013 4:24:14 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: proud American in Canada
Julie,

I am so sorry to hear about James.    I am praying for him, you, your sister, and your whole family and circle of loved ones.

We can't understand everything completely right now, but we will someday.

Please lean totally on Someone stronger at this very sad time, to bolster your faith.

    Jesus wept.    John 11:35

    “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."    Matthew 5:4

    For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.    1 Corinthians 13:12

127 posted on 03/24/2013 5:30:59 PM PDT by Heart-Rest ("God is Love" 1 John 4:8)
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To: proud American in Canada

May your nephew rest in God’s peace.

Prayers for and condolences to his family and friends.

May our Lord help ease your pain, strengthen your faith, and give you the understanding you need at this time.


128 posted on 03/24/2013 8:51:42 PM PDT by Fawnn (Fawnn.com and AccessibilityJournal.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: proud American in Canada
A tragedy for you and your entire family. We will pray for you for God to give you strength through this hard time

Why God takes the innocent? I don't know. Perhaps in a way as the innocent we know that your little nephew will be waiting for you and the rest of the family in heaven

129 posted on 03/25/2013 12:37:28 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
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To: proud American in Canada

I lost my girlfriend last night to a sudden cardiac arrest at the movie theatre
No symptoms or history of heart trouble we were smiling and holding hands and then she cried out in pain and was gone despite the factcthat there were doctors and nurses in the audience who performed cpr and shocked her twice with an aed even before ems arrived

She was a school teacher 40 years old and leaves behind a beautiful 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter

Life is pointless to me now
she kept me sane
She was beautiful kind caring obedient and was loved and appreciated by 100s of her students and good friends

I seriously question the existence of a God that would inflict that kind of pain


130 posted on 03/25/2013 1:15:46 AM PDT by Rome2000 (THE WASHINGTONIANS AND UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE ARE THE ENEMY -ROTATE THE CAPITAL AMONGST THE STATES)
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To: Rome2000
She was a school teacher 40 years old and leaves behind a beautiful 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter

Life is pointless to me now

Your life is not pointless to her, nor to them.

131 posted on 03/25/2013 1:39:12 AM PDT by cynwoody
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To: Rome2000

Oh Rome2000.... I am so sorry for your loss, and for your pain, and know that there are so many folks here who can can speak to your feelings in a much more meaningful, and touching way, but well, while wholly inadequate, here I am.

I was awakened by our dog, and before I crawled back into bed, I stopped to check my mail, and FR... and there, at the top of the page was your heartbreaking post - in a prayer thread for a family who lost a child...

All I can tell you my FRiend, is that I could not go back to sleep without responding as you cried out; and that if it helps; my belief is that God does not inflict us with the pain in our lives. That He is, instead, there to help us endure it, in encouraging each of us to reach out when such seemingly unendurable pain strikes another of us...

May He rest her immortal soul, and bring comfort and strength to yours, dear FRiend. Then, with that strength, may you be able to help her beautiful children in this terrible time.

Do take care FRiend, and take time.
May God bless.
Tatt

.


132 posted on 03/25/2013 2:15:20 AM PDT by thesearethetimes... ("Courage, is fear that has said its prayers." Dorothy Bernard)
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To: proud American in Canada

Prayers up for you and the rest of the family (and his friends).


133 posted on 03/25/2013 2:19:25 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: proud American in Canada

God bless all of you!


134 posted on 03/25/2013 4:37:36 AM PDT by nandrew
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To: proud American in Canada

Your faith should not be shaken at all. You love a God who is all merciful and all just. Another poster on here wrote a good comment about your nephew being spared the hell that is happening on Earth now. Isaiah has a good verse (Isaiah 57)about the righteous and Godly dying. Remember that the God you worship loves your nephew even MORE than you or his parents do. Take comfort in knowing that.


135 posted on 03/25/2013 6:22:55 AM PDT by Paved Paradise
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To: proud American in Canada
Prayers offered up for your nephew and his loved ones who grieve. When you see him again in Heaven, every tear will be wiped away.
136 posted on 03/25/2013 11:04:21 AM PDT by JustSayNoToNannies ("The Lord has removed His judgments against you" - Zep. 3:15)
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To: proud American in Canada

Bless him; dear, dear child. - Have faith. This life is not what we think it is; and God has EVERYTHING in control! Peace.


137 posted on 03/25/2013 11:35:55 AM PDT by Twinkie (John 3:16)
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To: proud American in Canada

Prayers offered for young James, and for all who loved him. With heartfelt prayers that you may find strength, comfort and in time, peace of mind, to consider the thought that perhaps, our Lord takes noone from us, but instead, is there FOR us, in these times of unimaginable loss.

May He hold you close.
Tatt


138 posted on 03/25/2013 1:16:48 PM PDT by thesearethetimes... ("Courage, is fear that has said its prayers." Dorothy Bernard)
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To: thesearethetimes...; cynwoody; proud American in Canada
Appreciate the wisdom and kind words.

My heart goes out to the parents and friends of the 10 year old child as well.

I will be there for my girlfriends kids, they are so young and cannot fully appreciate their loss which is merciful in its own way.

We will endure with the help of God, who brings us the light and will watch over us all praise be his name.

139 posted on 03/25/2013 6:01:34 PM PDT by Rome2000 (THE WASHINGTONIANS AND UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE ARE THE ENEMY -ROTATE THE CAPITAL AMONGST THE STATES)
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To: proud American in Canada

I will keep you and the family in my prayers.


140 posted on 03/25/2013 8:52:45 PM PDT by LadyDoc
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To: fr_freak

“I don’t understand why God takes the innocent.

In my opinion, this is only a question that could ever be asked by someone who did not grow up with great suffering. For those of us who did, the answer is not only clear, it is obvious: He takes the innocent because they are the ones most worthy of going. He spares them the pains of this world.

You grieve for your nephew, but at this moment, it is not he who is enduring the ailments of this world - it is us. He is free. He is in the arms of God. You grieve because you miss him, but he is in a better place than we are. If you believe in God, then you must believe that it is better to be with God than to be on Earth. We are the ones who are tasked with dealing with the pains of this increasingly corrupt world, until we are allowed to leave. “

______________________________________________

That is a beautiful post, and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you.


141 posted on 03/26/2013 10:11:17 PM PDT by proud American in Canada (R.I.P., James Helmuth, my nephew who passed away at ten years old, from cancer, on March 23.)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

Thanks, Kathy—what a great song. :)


142 posted on 03/26/2013 10:12:30 PM PDT by proud American in Canada (R.I.P., James Helmuth, my nephew who passed away at ten years old, from cancer, on March 23.)
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To: proud American in Canada

You were right...it is beautiful.


143 posted on 03/26/2013 10:32:07 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska (((~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)))
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To: cva66snipe; All

“BTW your body and mind need rest. The mind plays bad tricks when you are tired and things will look the worst.”

____________________________________________________

That is so true. I had a full night of sleep last night, but after I dropped off my children at school and my husband at work, I could not keep my eyes open on the way home. I kept nearly falling asleep, veering into the oncoming lane, on the two-lane road in a rural area. I opened the window and turned on some music. I’ve never been so happy to pull into the driveway.

Fortunately, at that time, people were at work, and as I mentioned, it’s rural, so no one was there. Thank God I didn’t hit anyone.

It is sad what death does to a family. I call my Dad every night; he’s recently been saying that he wishes that God has taken him instead. “I’ve seen my children grow; I’ve seen my grandchildren.” I talked to him a few minutes ago and said, “Dad, please don’t get so depressed; we need you. We don’t understand God’s plan for us. Perhaps we’re not supposed to.”

My brother died in 1969; he was premature and lived only a couple of days. I think his grandson’s death has hit him hard, so I have a list of things I’m going to do tomorrow (send him photos and a word jumble book and maple syrup candy; it’s maple syrup time up here. :) )

Anyway, thank you all for your support. Maybe I can figure out how to post his picture here.

All the best to all of you,

J.


144 posted on 03/26/2013 10:32:13 PM PDT by proud American in Canada (R.I.P., James Helmuth, my nephew who passed away at ten years old, from cancer, on March 23.)
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To: Rome2000

“I lost my girlfriend last night to a sudden cardiac arrest at the movie theatre
No symptoms or history of heart trouble we were smiling and holding hands and then she cried out in pain and was gone despite the factcthat there were doctors and nurses in the audience who performed cpr and shocked her twice with an aed even before ems arrived

She was a school teacher 40 years old and leaves behind a beautiful 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter

Life is pointless to me now
she kept me sane
She was beautiful kind caring obedient and was loved and appreciated by 100s of her students and good friends

I seriously question the existence of a God that would inflict that kind of pain

____________________________________

No, no, Rome2000. Your life isn’t pointless—no life is ever pointless.

Don’t you think her children need you now? If you go into a tailspin, they will lose their compass. Grieve together; remember her, perhaps have some sort of family ceremony, whatever helps the three of you get through this terrible time.

What happened to her terrible, and I can’t imagine your sadness. It is understandable. Perhaps the little ones could cuddle with you at bedtime; maybe even sleep next to you for a few days. Human contact is important at times like these.

She sounds like she was a wonderful teacher—that is her legacy.

Maybe someone could help you organize a service with her students; they could say something, or perhaps put notes on an Easter Lily or church wall, telling everyone what she meant to them.

Your girlfriend clearly made a difference—please don’t give up. Her children need you.

All my love and prayers,

Julie

p.s., it is Holy Week; I don’t know your names but I will pray for you and your family, and God will know who I’m talking about. Sometimes we get mad at God, but he’s probably used to it. I have to believe there is a purpose in this world.


145 posted on 03/26/2013 11:20:47 PM PDT by proud American in Canada (R.I.P., James Helmuth, my nephew who passed away at ten years old, from cancer, on March 23.)
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To: proud American in Canada

Thanks so much for your kind words and wisdom
We will preservere with Gods love and grace


146 posted on 03/27/2013 10:19:31 AM PDT by Rome2000 (THE WASHINGTONIANS AND UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE ARE THE ENEMY -ROTATE THE CAPITAL AMONGST THE STATES)
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To: proud American in Canada; Rome2000

Both of you have received a lot of very good prayers and words of comfort. May they sustain you in the valley you are treading at this time. May the Lord comfort you both.


147 posted on 03/27/2013 8:06:57 PM PDT by WVNan
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To: proud American in Canada

My heart goes out to you. Such a sad and difficult time. Prayers up for you and all of your nephew’s family. I pray that God will grant you strength and solace.


148 posted on 03/30/2013 4:26:47 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved! -Ps80)
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