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Pope Francis admits he is just making most of his theology up as he goes
Streitbarer Zwinglianer ^ | 21 May 2018 | Zwinglius Redivivus

Posted on 06/15/2018 1:08:21 AM PDT by CharlesOConnell

In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.”

Where past Popes have been careful in their attempts to stay in line with official Catholic teaching, Pope Francis confessed he doesn’t really know much official doctrine, stating that he’s more of a “shoot from the hip kind of guy” when it comes to weighty topics of morality, salvation, God, and eternity.

“People ask me questions, and I’m not always sure what to say, so honestly I’m just winging it,” the Pope said in his candid, unscheduled address. “This job is really hard, when you think about it. Trying to be the Vicar of Christ and deal with everybody’s complicated theological questions all at the same time? Ugh. It gives me a headache. So I just start talking. Even I’m surprised with what comes out sometimes.”

“I just want everyone to know about, like, love and God and stuff,” he added thoughtfully before beginning to take questions from those gathered in the Sistine Chapel, with the Pope signing off on Christian fornication, adultery, and polygamy during the short impromptu Q&A session.


TOPICS: Catholic
KEYWORDS: comedy; francis; hoax; pope; satire
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There was once a Foolish Shepherd. His predecessors had tried hard to be faithful, brave and wise, keeping nearly silent watch over the sheep, only calling out to them when they were in danger because of their tendency to foolishness, the Shepherd speaking seldom but resolutely so that the sheep always knew the sound of his voice and got some idea in their foolish heads, after painful mistakes, of the cost of ignoring his voice.

The last shepherd died, and the quislings of the Wolf managed to get their candidate appointed to the office of shepherd. They chose a man who could be counted upon to speak freely even when he had nothing to say. The new, Foolish Shepherd would sit in the gateways, the marketplaces and the inns, spouting off anything that came into his head.

The spies of the Wolf would provoke the Foolish Shepherd to speak whatever came into his mind. He would often say the most nonsensical things, to his mind exercising his office of Shepherd over the sheep. His voice droned on so continually that the sheep became confused. When they were in danger, the Foolish Shepherd would be speaking his random thoughts better left unsaid, rather than warning them about the danger and guiding them to safety.

In this way, many of the sheep wandered close to the cliffside. Without the accustomed voice of the Shepherd to warn them against danger, more and more of them were falling over the side, just where the Wolf wanted them so he could easily swallow them down without any risk to himself.



1 posted on 06/15/2018 1:08:21 AM PDT by CharlesOConnell
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To: CharlesOConnell
There was once upon a time an old goat who had seven little kids, and loved them with all the love of a mother for her children. One day she wanted to go into the forest and fetch some food. So she called all seven to her and said, "Dear children, I have to go into the forest, be on your guard against the wolf; if he come in, he will devour you all--skin, hair, and all. The wretch often disguises himself, but you will know him at once by his rough voice and his black feet." The kids said, "Dear mother, we will take good care of ourselves; you may go away without any anxiety." Then the old one bleated, and went on her way with an easy mind.

It was not long before some one knocked at the house-door and cried, "Open the door, dear children; your mother is here, and has brought something back with her for each of you." But the little kids knew that it was the wolf, by the rough voice; "We will not open the door," cried they, "thou art not our mother. She has a soft, pleasant voice, but thy voice is rough; thou art the wolf!" Then the wolf went away to a shopkeeper and bought himself a great lump of chalk, ate this and made his voice soft with it. The he came back, knocked at the door of the house, and cried, "Open the door, dear children, your mother is here and has brought something back with her for each of you." But the wolf had laid his black paws against the window, and the children saw them and cried, "We will not open the door, our mother has not black feet like thee; thou art the wolf!" Then the wolf ran to a baker and said, "I have hurt my feet, rub some dough over them for me." And when the baker had rubbed his feet over, he ran to the miller and said, "Strew some white meal over my feet for me." The miller thought to himself, "The wolf wants to deceive someone," and refused; but the wolf said, "If thou wilt not do it, I will devour thee." Then the miller was afraid, and made his paws white for him. Truly men are like that.

So now the wretch went for the third time to the house-door, knocked at it and said, "Open the door for me, children, your dear little mother has come home, and has brought every one of you something back from the forest with her." The little kids cried, " First show us thy paws that we may know if thou art our dear little mother." Then he put his paws in through the window, and when the kids saw that they were white, they believed that all he said was true, and opened the door. But who should come in but the wolf! They were terrified and wanted to hide themselves. One sprang under the table, the second into the bed, the third into the stove, the fourth into the kitchen, the fifth into the cupboard, the sixth under the washing-bowl, and the seventh into the clockcase. But the wolf found them all, and used no great ceremony; one after the other he swallowed them down his throat. The youngest, in the clock-case, was the only one he did not find. When the wolf had satisfied his appetite he took himself off, laid himself down under a tree in the green meadow outside, and began to sleep. Soon afterwards the old goat came home again from the forest. Ah! what a sight she saw there! The house-door stood wide open. The table, chairs, and benches were thrown down, the washing-bowl lay broken to pieces, and the quilts and pillows were pulled off the bed. She sought her children, but they were nowhere to be found. She called them one after another by name, but no one answered. At last, when she came to the youngest, a soft voice cried, "Dear mother, I am in the clock-case." She took the kid out, and it told her that the wolf had come and had eaten all the others. Then you may imagine how she wept over her poor children.

At length in her grief she went out, and the youngest kid ran with her. When they came to the meadow, there lay the wolf by the tree and snored so loud that the branches shook. She looked at him on every side and saw that something was moving and struggling in his gorged body. "Ah, heavens," said she, "is it possible that my poor children whom he has swallowed down for his supper, can be still alive?" Then the kid had to run home and fetch scissors, and a needle and thread, and the goat cut open the monster's stomach, and hardly had she made one cut, than one little kid thrust its head out, and when she had cut farther, all six sprang out one after another, and were all still alive, and had suffered no injury whatever, for in his greediness the monster had swallowed them down whole. What rejoicing there was! Then they embraced their dear mother, and jumped like a tailor at his wedding. The mother, however, said, "Now go and look for some big stones, and we will fill the wicked beast's stomach with them while he is still asleep." Then the seven kids dragged the stones thither with all speed, and put as many of them into his stomach as they could get in; and the mother sewed him up again in the greatest haste, so that he was not aware of anything and never once stirred.

When the wolf at length had had his sleep out, he got on his legs, and as the stones in his stomach made him very thirsty, he wanted to go to a well to drink. But when he began to walk and move about, the stones in his stomach knocked against each other and rattled. Then cried he,

"What rumbles and tumbles
Against my poor bones?
I thought 't was six kids,
But it's naught but big stones."

And when he got to the well and stooped over the water and was just about to drink, the heavy stones made him fall in, and there was no help, but he had to drown miserably. When the seven kids saw that, they came running to the spot and cried aloud, "The wolf is dead! The wolf is dead!" and danced for joy round about the well with their mother.

2 posted on 06/15/2018 1:09:25 AM PDT by CharlesOConnell (CharlesOConnell)
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To: CharlesOConnell

The walls of the playground

“Those countries in Europe which are still influenced by priests, are exactly the countries where there is still singing and dancing and coloured dresses and art in the open-air. Catholic doctrine and discipline may be walls; but they are the walls of a playground. Christianity is the only frame which has preserved the pleasure of Paganism. We might fancy some children playing on the flat grassy top of some tall island in the sea. So long as there was a wall round the cliff’s edge they could fling themselves into every frantic game and make the place the noisiest of nurseries. But the walls were knocked down, leaving the naked peril of the precipice. They did not fall over; but when their friends returned to them they were all huddled in terror in the centre of the island; and their song had ceased.”



3 posted on 06/15/2018 1:10:08 AM PDT by CharlesOConnell (CharlesOConnell)
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To: CharlesOConnell
The Foolish Shepherd and the Wolf
4 posted on 06/15/2018 1:18:04 AM PDT by CharlesOConnell (CharlesOConnell)
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To: CharlesOConnell
"love and God and stuff"

That's straight from the Bible, by the way.
5 posted on 06/15/2018 1:42:55 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: CharlesOConnell

Note that this is from a satire website, the Babylon Bee. There are always some who fail to notice that.

https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-admits-hes-making-up-pretty-much-everything-as-he-goes/


6 posted on 06/15/2018 1:44:17 AM PDT by iowamark
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To: CharlesOConnell

Someone needs to tell him it is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.


7 posted on 06/15/2018 1:59:07 AM PDT by kalee
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To: CharlesOConnell

Well, then I presume that the Pope won’t mind if I don’t pay too much attention to what he says!


8 posted on 06/15/2018 2:23:29 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: CharlesOConnell

The Bible warns us about false shepherds leading their flocks astray. Today we see that the Western Christian church is full of them. And the “great falling away” is the result. That void is gleefully being filled by islam to the destruction of our culture.


9 posted on 06/15/2018 2:31:29 AM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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To: fella
"Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.”

that dude is a dangerous wingnut, not deserving of the respect granted to his office.

10 posted on 06/15/2018 2:41:49 AM PDT by Sa-teef
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To: CharlesOConnell

Satire folks....although it was believable until the very end when it states that the hierarchy tackles him to the ground.


11 posted on 06/15/2018 2:45:57 AM PDT by piusv (Pray for a return to the pre-Vatican II (Catholic) Faith)
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To: CharlesOConnell

Pope Francis, His ASS-Holiness, is the WORST.


12 posted on 06/15/2018 3:12:44 AM PDT by LeonardFMason (426)
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To: CharlesOConnell

Is it any wonder some of us call him a fake Pope?

Can we please get a real one now?


13 posted on 06/15/2018 3:19:45 AM PDT by Boomer (Leftism is the Mental/Moral Equivalent of End Stage Cancer)
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To: CharlesOConnell

Satire, yes? please!


14 posted on 06/15/2018 4:06:17 AM PDT by I want the USA back (The media is acting full-on as the Democratic Party's press agency now: Robert Spencer)
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To: CharlesOConnell

IOW...he is a Democrat.


15 posted on 06/15/2018 4:14:02 AM PDT by rlmorel (Leftists: They believe in the "Invisible Hand" only when it is guided by government.)
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To: CharlesOConnell

Some people simply have no respect for the words of the Bible!


16 posted on 06/15/2018 4:36:28 AM PDT by high info voter (Liberal leftists would have "un-friended" Paul Revere!)
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To: CharlesOConnell

Well, at least he’s man enough to admit who he is. Obama still can’t admit who he really is and where he’s from.


17 posted on 06/15/2018 4:39:06 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: iowamark

Babylon Bee is good this week.


18 posted on 06/15/2018 6:22:11 AM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: iowamark

The satire is good when it is awful close to the truth.


19 posted on 06/15/2018 6:57:39 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
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To: CharlesOConnell

sounds like he needs a false messiah to go with his false prophet theology.


20 posted on 06/15/2018 7:32:54 AM PDT by merkava
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