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My son Michael
6-8-02 | OxfordMovement

Posted on 06/08/2002 11:06:51 AM PDT by OxfordMovement

My three year old son Michael died this morning at 3 a.m. He had been experiencing high fevers for over a month and has been in the hospital again for the last few days. The doctors were unable to determine the cause of his illness and had contacted many others to review the many tests they had run on him.

Though he received very good medical care, his little heart just stopped beating and wouldn't start again. I know he is in the arms of Jesus, but I just don't understand why this has happened.

Please pray for me, my wife, and my other children. I don't know what we are going to do. We are all so upset. The doctor at the hospital gave my wife an injection of a sedative to calm her down. I'm feeling really desperate. God gave us such a beautiful boy, and now He has taken him away from us. I don't understand. Please pray for us.


TOPICS: General Discusssion
KEYWORDS: catholiclist; christianlist
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To: OxfordMovement;68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
My heart is breaking. Words fail me except to say, anytime you want to leave me a note, I'll give you a call. I'm a good listener. I mean that, friend.

Thanks Tonkin.

151 posted on 06/08/2002 5:13:40 PM PDT by leadpenny
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To: OxfordMovement
My condolences:

May Christ envelop you beautiful son In His Sweet Embrace and protect his Soul forever and a day.

152 posted on 06/08/2002 5:14:45 PM PDT by poet
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To: OxfordMovement
How terrible -- hold on.

In Jesus

153 posted on 06/08/2002 5:22:02 PM PDT by Havisham
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To: OxfordMovement
More tears and prayers are sent your way. My deepest condolences.
154 posted on 06/08/2002 5:25:31 PM PDT by roachie
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To: OxfordMovement; Dukie; Joanie-f
May the Peace of God be with you and yours in your loss. But know this ... you will see and hold Michael again.

In my faith he is in Heaven and waiting for you there. He was a rightous spirit that did not need the travails of life that most of us need to humble us and get us to return to God ... he just needed a brief exposure to earth life so he could be prepared to carry on in the eternities with God the Father and Jesus and whatever taksks they have for him there.

You and your dear wife and children will see him again, and rejoice with him there. It does not releave the pain entirely ... but it does convey hope and peace.

May God be with you and yours.

155 posted on 06/08/2002 5:34:40 PM PDT by Jeff Head
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To: OxfordMovement
I haven't shed a tear since my husband died so suddenly 10 years ago. I didn't think anything could make me cry again. But your sad news did.

May I offer you one word of advice? Your wife will want to talk, and talk, and talk about her sorrow. You will probably feel that you must be the strong, silent one so that you can help your family get through this. GO TO A GRIEF COUNSELOR. Your wife thinks you're silent because you don't understand a mother's grief. You wish she would stop talking about it because it threatens your ability to remain strong. At a grief counselor, you will both learn how the other feels, and how to deal with it. With understanding and prayer, you will be closer than ever before.

I am praying for you and your family.

156 posted on 06/08/2002 5:36:52 PM PDT by kitkat
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To: OxfordMovement
Dear Oxford,

It hurts me so much to read of the loss of your little boy. I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child. I lost a brother a couple of years ago and it was horrible. I shall keep you and your family in my prayers. I have no answers only support and condolescenses. May God bless you and your family.

157 posted on 06/08/2002 5:40:04 PM PDT by Wphile
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To: OxfordMovement
May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and bring you peace.

My prayers are with you and your family.

158 posted on 06/08/2002 5:50:49 PM PDT by Taxman
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To: OxfordMovement
I am so sorry to hear of your loss...I cannot know what you feel, I can only tell you, that I will pray for you, your good wife, your other children...and I will pray for Michael, but I know, he is well, for he is with his Lord...

I can tell you that I also lost a child...I lost my older boy, many years ago, after a valiant struggle with a very deadly form of leukemia

My son was also named Michael....I would like to think, that my Michael, is welcoming your Michael, home to heaven(I suppose that is a wish for my own comfort, but I would hope it may be true)..

I do not know exactly what to tell you...You said you feel so desperate, at this time, and yes, there is for sure a feeling of desperation when a parent loses a child...for this is not the way we envision life...

All I can really say to you, will probably not really be of comfort...but what I will say, is that allow yourself to feel the desperation, the sadness, the grief, the tears, and the anger...You will wonder how you are going to make it through this terrible event...You loved your child, took care of your child, and thought they would go on...but sometimes they dont, and there is no rhyme nor reason, which makes any sense of that...

I hurt so badly for you, for I understand, that you are going through the very worst time right now...I will pray for you, and think of you and your whole family...

Should you ever want to talk, Freepmail me and I will listen, for I know from my own experience, that having someone who will simply listen can be a gift...God Bless You, and all of your family...

159 posted on 06/08/2002 5:51:23 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
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To: OxfordMovement
We are so sorry to hear this. Mere words seem to inadequate. I will pray for you and for your precious family.

Here is an excellent site that you may want to peruse when you're feeling up to it.

Wonderful site for families who lose a child"

I really liked "My Grief Rights: Ten Healing Rights for Grieving Children"

It also has all the different steps of grieving, which are so helpful when trying to understand all the conflicting and confusing emotions you are feeling.

I hope this helps. And again, we are just so sorry. Prayers for your little one and all of you, going to the Father right now!!!

160 posted on 06/08/2002 5:54:35 PM PDT by Vets_Husband_and_Wife
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To: OxfordMovement
May the prayers of many uphold you and give you strength and comfort during this horrible time. Words are never strong enough to help you through this, but the prayers and thoughts behind them are.

You and your family are in my prayers tonight.

161 posted on 06/08/2002 5:59:31 PM PDT by gramho12
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To: Vets_Husband_and_Wife
Here is another site that is extremely well done by a couple Physicians. I worked as a Hospice Volunteer,..and the two sites I gave seemed well done. I pray they will help you know how to handle this with your children at home:

"How Caregivers Can Help Children Exposed to Traumatic Death"

TONS of prayers coming your way!!!

162 posted on 06/08/2002 6:01:31 PM PDT by Vets_Husband_and_Wife
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To: OxfordMovement
God be with you and your family. I most certainly will be praying for you and your wife and family and friends. Hang tough, there will be answers someday and as you walk through your desparation, remember that you are never alone and that you will be ok. Your son is wrapped in such love just now that there are no words to describe it, be comforted and know that as time softens the hurt, peace will come. God Bless you, deeply, and your family, too.
163 posted on 06/08/2002 6:10:15 PM PDT by Republic
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To: OxfordMovement
You are in are prayers.
May the Lord comfort you in this time of sorrow.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted...
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.


164 posted on 06/08/2002 6:13:44 PM PDT by ppaul
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To: OxfordMovement
You have my prayers and my heartfelt condolences. May God bless you and keep you and may His Spirit come upon you and your family and grant you the serenity to accept that which you can't possbly understand. I am so very sorry that this has come upon you and your family.
165 posted on 06/08/2002 6:22:55 PM PDT by pgkdan
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To: OxfordMovement
Please take comfort in knowing what a wonderful gift God gave you - LIFE! When and why he chooses to take such a wonderful gift away at such an early age is a mystery. I hope someday to be able to ask Our Lord that very question.

My prayers go out to you and your family during this very difficult time for you. I know your pain is heavy, I sincerely pray that God will guide you all! God Bless!

166 posted on 06/08/2002 6:25:07 PM PDT by Gerish
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To: OxfordMovement
Not ever having experienced the loss of a child, I cannot imagine the depths of pain you and your wife are experiencing. I will pray for His comfort and your faith in holding on to Him. Many believers here are already bearing one anothers burden. And, one day He will use you to come alongside another who has walked through this valley.
167 posted on 06/08/2002 6:28:50 PM PDT by anniegetyourgun
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To: OxfordMovement
This is very sad news, I pray that God gives you and your family the strength you need in this time of such sorrow. My wife and I will continue to keep you in our prayers as you and your family struggle with your loss. I can't imagine the grief so I wont comment on it, I'll just say that we will Pray daily for you and your family.

May God Bless you and your family,

Mike & Colleen

168 posted on 06/08/2002 6:28:57 PM PDT by MJY1288
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To: OxfordMovement; rintense; kayak
Oh, I am so sorry for this indescribeable grief. There is no way to understand this from a human perspective. I will be praying for God's comfort for you and your wife.
169 posted on 06/08/2002 6:29:59 PM PDT by ohioWfan
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To: OxfordMovement
I don't pretend to understand the pain you and your wife are feeling. I am so sorry for this, and join with others in praying that God will comfort you. Michael is in Heaven, where there is no sorrow. God bless you.
170 posted on 06/08/2002 6:30:41 PM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: OxfordMovement
Oh, I am so very sorry to hear about this devastating loss to you and your wife. And to have no answers, this just doesn't make sense! It certainly tests your faith and confidence to have something like this happen. I will pray for you and your wife and ask that you get he answers you need to find some resolution in this horrible sorrow you must be feeling. This is just awful. :(
171 posted on 06/08/2002 6:38:18 PM PDT by MistyCA
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To: OxfordMovement
Thank you for sharing your grief. It reminds me of how much I must cherish every moment I have with those I love. My little girl just turned 4. I'll hug her an extra time tonight as I pray for you and your family.
172 posted on 06/08/2002 6:43:26 PM PDT by madprof98
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To: OxfordMovement
Sorry to hear this,my heart goes out to you both.

Remember there are other little boys out there that NEED your love, in time you can give it and it will be renewed for you.

Tet68

173 posted on 06/08/2002 6:48:35 PM PDT by tet68
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To: OxfordMovement
��5{��������way I can fathom the pain you are feeling at this time. My heart and prayers go out to you. You and your wife will be in my prayers. Michael is safe and happy in the arms of our Savior and you have a strong advocate in Heaven in Michael who will be praying for you constantly and offering you comfort until you will see him again for all eternity. God bless and keep you.
174 posted on 06/08/2002 6:52:42 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper
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To: OxfordMovement
There is no consolation except in Him.

I can imaging Michael climbing onto the lap of history_matters and worrying about his Mom's and his Dad's tears.

Let yourself be flooded by your tears so that you are consoled and so that the fires of hopelessness, despair and grief might be quenched, if even for a moment ... through Christ Our Lord. Amen.
175 posted on 06/08/2002 6:54:01 PM PDT by AKA Elena
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To: rintense
Thank you for the ping, Rintense. this is terrible news.
176 posted on 06/08/2002 7:07:45 PM PDT by MistyCA
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
Thank you for the ping, Tonk. This is so sad. I feel stunned by the sorrow this family must be feeling. This is terrible.
177 posted on 06/08/2002 7:08:58 PM PDT by MistyCA
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To: OxfordMovement
I am very sorry to hear about your son. I don't have any words that would be adequate enough to soothe the hurt you are feeling right now. I can, however, offer you a shoulder to lean on, or cry on if need be.

I do pray that God will be your comfort and strength in this time of darkness for your family. Even though you may not be feeling it right now, God still loves you and cares for you.

I will keep your family in my prayers. I am in Florida, but if there is anything you may need, please don't hesitate to FReepmail me.

Your Brother in Christ,
-Kevin

178 posted on 06/08/2002 7:10:32 PM PDT by ksen
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To: OxfordMovement
Dear Friend,

My heart is heavy and aching for the grief that you and your family must feel over the loss of Michael. Words are insufficient. May God be your source of strength in the coming days. Trust Him for He knows the complete story--all the why's regarding the need to take Michael at this time. Surely He has a reason that we will one day understand once we get to heaven ourselves. I look forward to the day when I see you, Michael, and the rest of your family reunited there. What a wonderful day that will be. Until that day, may God be your comfort and strength. He knows the pain of losing a son. He will not leave you comfortless.

I will be praying for you.

179 posted on 06/08/2002 7:26:17 PM PDT by Faith
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To: OxfordMovement
I just got back from vacation. I visited my 80 year old widowed aunt on my trip. While visiting her, she asked me if I had seen a picture of her daughter lately and showed me her daughter's picture. My little cousin had passed away when she was 3 months old, but it was like yesterday to my aunt. My aunt has kept her little girl close to her heart for fifty years. I am sure she is looking forward to seeing her daughter again in paradise, praising the Lord for all eternity.

I don't know why your son was taken from you, or why my little cousin died so young, but I do know that Jesus promised to be with us throughout every situation in life. You are truly walking through the valley of the shadow of death right now, but remember that the Lord is with you, He is your shepherd.

I will pray for you and for peace and acceptance for your family.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

180 posted on 06/08/2002 7:38:02 PM PDT by GWfan
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To: OxfordMovement
None of us understands why things like this happen. I'll say a special prayer for you and your wife tonight. God speed.
181 posted on 06/08/2002 7:44:22 PM PDT by irish_lad
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To: OxfordMovement
I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. Faith is so hard when life is painful and there's so much we don't understand.

May the peace of God, which passes understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

May the Lord hold you close to His heart, under the shadow of His healing wings.

Blessings

182 posted on 06/08/2002 8:03:56 PM PDT by Paul_B
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To: OxfordMovement
God bless you and your family.. There has got to be nothing worse than losing a child. You are in my thought and prayers.. All of you.. We wonder why and the answer doesn't come. He is in the arms of Jesus and that is a comfort for believers. I ask Him to wrap His arms around you and your family and give you comfort.
183 posted on 06/08/2002 8:09:32 PM PDT by Texas Mom
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To: OxfordMovement; one_particular_harbour; MarMema; don-o
O Lord, who watches over children in the present life and in the world to come because of their simplicity and innocence of mind, abundantly satisfying them with a place in Abraham's bosom, bringing them to live in radiantly shining places where the spirits of the righteous dwell: receive in peace the soul of Your little servant, Michael, for You Yourself have said, "Let the little children come to Me, for such is the Kingdom of Heaven." Amen.
184 posted on 06/08/2002 8:44:39 PM PDT by FormerLib
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To: OxfordMovement
Know that God truly loves us. His own Son became man, suffered, died and was buried. God allows those who suffer the death of their children to join Him in the real and sacred mystery of love. Love is sacrifice. God loves you and your family greatly. He shares in your grief and temporary loss. Temporary because someday you, too, will be reunited with your son as He is with His Son.

Deo gratias.

185 posted on 06/08/2002 8:46:57 PM PDT by MSSC6644
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To: OxfordMovement
Although we know little Michael is in the arms of Jesus, the pain isn't any less. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you and your family must be in right now, but God WILL get you through this. Just lean on him for comfort and I pray for his wonderful peace that only he can provide you with at this time. Here's a little something I find comforting in bad times--hope it helps at least a little.

HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU

Oh, how I long to span the miles

and be there with you.

But I will clasp you

close to my heart...

and whisper a prayer

to our DEAR LOVING LORD

who walks beside you today.

Though you may not know

where tomorrow's road may lead...

GOD KNOWS.

So hold to HIS STRONG HAND...

Cling to Him.

He will never, ever let you go.

By Glenna Oldham

186 posted on 06/08/2002 8:48:56 PM PDT by GOP-Pat
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To: OxfordMovement
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our 20-year-old son April 3 of this year to leukemia. I will be praying for you.

I don’t think anything much helps at first. You just somehow manage to find the strength to go on.

People may try to give you lots of advice. I know you need comfort, not advice. But I’m going to tell you some of the things I have gone through in the two months since my son’s journey to Heaven to be with Jesus. Maybe my experience can prepare you for some things.

I know asking “Why?” doesn’t help. I don’t think that question will be answered this side of Heaven (when it won’t even matter to me anymore). But I still keep asking “Why?”.

My mind tries to replay the last hours and moments of my son’s life over and over. I try my best to not to let my mind do that. That is the best and most practical thing I have learned to do to keep myself sane. I’ve lived through that hell once. I try to stop my mind from making me relive it over again.

I’m no longer surprised when people I thought would stand by us don’t. And I’m no longer surprised when people I never dreamed would stand by us do. And the creepy people in my life didn’t stop being creepy.

People don’t know what to say, because there IS nothing to say. So sometimes they say stupid, thoughtless things.

I know it’s OK for me to be angry at God. If someone ever tells me otherwise (no one has so far), I will turn my back on them. They don’t know what they’re talking about. How could I NOT be angry at God? I’m still angry at God, but I am gradually coming to understand that the anger will eventually go away if I let go of it. I also know that I can still pray even when I’m angry at God.

I am surrounded by a world that keeps reminding me of my son. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with, there are always reminders and memories. I’ve learned not to lose it when I can see the memories coming. But I can’t always see them coming. And I lose it. Also, I still quite often think of something I want to show or say to my son. And then in an awful moment, I realize I can’t.

I still don’t know what to say when someone I don’t know asks me if I have children. “Yes, we have a daughter“? But do we still have a son? Should I say “We have a daughter but lost a son“? Do people WANT to hear that? (Answer: No.)

The question my wife hates the most is “do you have other children?” Each child is irreplaceable. Ryan didn’t have a “back up.”

Is my grief getting less intense? No. But it comes less often.

The day after my son’s death my wife woke up with the strangest scripture in her mind:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

All I could tell her was that one of our dearest treasures was now in Heaven. That’s true now for you and you wife as well.

I don’t think this will help you now. Come back in a few weeks. Maybe it will help some then.

187 posted on 06/08/2002 9:00:26 PM PDT by Semi Civil Servant
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To: OxfordMovement
I am so sorry for your loss. There aren't words. Please G-d, may your family find strength in each other and your community.
188 posted on 06/08/2002 9:28:12 PM PDT by Cinnamon Girl
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To: Semi Civil Servant
All I could tell her was that one of our dearest treasures was now in Heaven. That’s true now for you and you wife as well.

I shall pass this along to my folks. Time doesn't heal all wounds, it's true.

Thank you, Semi Civil Servant. I have learned a lot from you and Siobhan this day. I am so grateful there were those who did have words so full of faith and charity and hope as to serve OxfordMovement long past this, the saddest day of his life.

I'm so sorry about your son and shall pray for you too.

189 posted on 06/08/2002 9:43:10 PM PDT by Askel5
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To: OxfordMovement
I don't know what to say. I have 2 boys of my own (13 and 8). I know that I would not know how to handle loosing either one and would have to reach out to Jesus for strength everyday. I will pray for you and your wife. I know that God will give you the will to go on. You will both have to support each other extra hard during this time and please know there will be many thinking and praying for you.
190 posted on 06/08/2002 9:48:20 PM PDT by GUIDO
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To: OxfordMovement
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Michael. I lost my 14 year old son to Ewing's sarcoma on December 7, 2001. Words will probably not be of much comfort to you right now, because I'm sure you feel unbelievable shock. I do not know why God calls the young ones back home, but he must need them more than we do. Friday was the 6 month anniversary of Jake's death, and I can say that the fog I've felt, feels like it is lifting. Take your time with your grief. Don't let anyone set a limit on it. The bitterness will lift and the wonderful memories will take over. A friend of mine emailed this to me after Jake died and I read it every day. I hope it gives you some degree of comfort, as it does to me still:

"I'll lend you, for a little while, a child of mine", He said. "For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he is dead." "It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, "But will you, 'til I call him back, take care of him for me? "He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief, "You'll have his lovely memories and solace for your grief. "I cannot promise he will stay, as all from earth return, "But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. "I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true, "And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you. "Now will you give him all your love -- not think of labor vain, "Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again." "I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, they will be done." "For all the joy this child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run. "We'll shower him with tenderness and love him while we may, "And for the happiness we've known, forever, grateful stay. "And should the angels call for him much sooner than we planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand." Author unknown.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

191 posted on 06/08/2002 10:02:00 PM PDT by KPritch
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To: OxfordMovement
My deepest sympathy on Michael's passing. You and your family will be in my prayers. Requiescat in pacem.
192 posted on 06/08/2002 10:11:07 PM PDT by Dajjal
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To: AKA Elena
I can imaging Michael climbing onto the lap of history_matters

Now that's a lovely thought to hold. Two angels together in the next world. I like that thought.

193 posted on 06/08/2002 10:11:20 PM PDT by MarMema
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To: OxfordMovement
Dear Oxford,

I'm so sorry to hear this, it breaks my heart and I'll certainly keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.

194 posted on 06/08/2002 10:15:02 PM PDT by tiki
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To: OxfordMovement
Dear God Help this man and his family.

Death of a Little Child

In Memory of Ruth Margaret McGee
She was so small, but her influence was so great; her life was short, but the memory of her is long.
“And Jesus called a little child unto him …” (Matthew 18:2). “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16).

At the death of my firstborn, God gave me some words of comfort which I desire to pass on to parents and to loved ones of little ones who die. There is no sorrow quite so heartrending as the death of a little child. The image of the little one is written so indelibly upon the mind and heart that during the long watches of the night it appears on memory’s screen to haunt us. If the child lives long enough to walk and to talk, the faltering steps and childish prattle are like a lingering fragrance in the home that seems so strangely silent. The arms are empty, the eyes are filled with tears, and the heart is like a vacant house. Yet, there is no affliction for which God has provided such tender comfort and such sweet solace. He is “the God of all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3).

The following comforts are mentioned with the prayer that the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, will apply them to broken hearts and to wounded spirits as strong splints and sweet ointment.

A Brief Life is Not an Incomplete Life

We sometimes feel that a life which was so brief was in vain and that God has mocked us by giving us the little one and then by taking it away immediately. The child had no opportunity to perform a work, nor was there any time given to develop character. Let us remember, first of all, that the little one had an eternal spirit and that it has gone into the presence of God where there will be an eternity to perform works and develop character.

With eternity as a measuring rod, the long life of Methuselah was merely a pinpoint on the calendar of time. Although the span of life of your little one was brief, your child completed a mission, served a purpose, and performed a God-appointed task in this world. The child’s presence turned your thoughts to the best. Your little one’s helplessness brought out your strength and protection, and your child’s loveliness roused your tenderness and love. The little one’s influence will linger in your heart as long as you live. If anything can bring a man to God, it is a child. “A little child shall lead them” is not idle rhetoric. We think of Methuselah in connection with old age, but did you ever consider him as an infant? Well, he was once a baby, and a most arresting thing is recorded about his birth. He was the son of Enoch, and it is written: “And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: and Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: and all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years: and Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him” (Genesis 5:21–24). We do not know what the life of Enoch was for the first sixty-five years, but when the day came that he looked down into a crib at a little boy named Methuselah, he began to walk with God. If Methuselah had died in his crib, he would have accomplished about as much as evidently he did in his long life. Your little one served its purpose. A brief life is not an incomplete life.

You Can Be Assured That All is Well With the Child

David lost two sons for whom he grieved deeply. One was Bathsheba’s child, who died shortly after birth. David was greatly exercised about the life of this child. The record reveals the magnitude of his grief:

David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. (2 Samuel 12:16–23)

David knew that the child was with the redeemed and that he would join him someday by death and would be with him forever.

David had another son, Absalom, who in manhood became rebellious and sinned grievously. While ruthlessly attempting to seize the kingdom from his father, he was killed in battle. Upon learning of his death, King David, a strong, rugged old soldier, wept as a woman. The Bible records his appalling grief:

And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son! (2 Samuel 18:33)

David did not know the destiny of the soul of Absalom, or at least he doubted his salvation. David wished it had been possible to have died in his stead so that Absalom might have another chance. David could be sure of the first child, but he was not sure of Absalom.

You, likewise, may have the assurance of the salvation of your little child; it is “safe in the arms of Jesus.” You would be willing to turn over your child to the care of a faithful nurse in this life, and you can rejoice that your little one is in the arms of the Good Shepherd who is more tender than any human nurse. In fact, the little one is better off than if it were asleep in its crib in your home. It is beyond this veil of tears. There is no danger or evil to beset its pathway. We may rest in the confidence that our children are safe with Christ. Remember that when He was here on earth, He took up little ones into His arms, saying, “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16). On another occasion He said, “Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10).

If you could but know the blessedness of your little one at this very moment, it would reconcile you to the loss of the darling of your heart.

Heaven Should Be More Real To You

The Lord Jesus has gone to prepare a place for those who are His own. Part of this preparation is the taking of your child. Heaven will mean more to you now—your dearest treasure is there. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21). He takes the family here to form the family there. Baby hands are beckoning to you, and a baby voice is calling you home.

I did not realize how many parents there were who had lost children until our first baby was taken. One after another in the congregation came with tears in their eyes to tell of their secret sorrow. One dear lady and her husband always sat down in the front pew. They were elderly and they had a son who was a great sorrow. In spite of this, they were always smiling and seemed never to be defeated by life. I shall never forget my surprise when I discovered the reason for this as they told me of the loss of their firstborn and of their happy anticipation of seeing the little one in heaven someday.

There are No Mistakes in God’s Plans

God has permitted this to happen to you. It was no accident, nor was it something over which He had no control. He knows the way you take; your times are in His hands, and He numbers the hairs of your head. Somehow and some way God will make this work out for His glory and your good. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Perhaps you do not see this now, and I am sure that I cannot explain it in detail, but here is where you can trust God. He permits us to suffer here, and in this world of sin it is part of His discipline for a higher place.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (Hebrews 12:6, 7)

You Did the Best You Could Under the Circumstances

Perhaps you are rebuking yourself for not having done something more in behalf of the child. You may be harassed by a haunting fear that you did something wrong. Martha and Mary felt that the death of their brother could have been averted. They both said to Jesus Christ, “Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died” (John 11:21, 32). Yet in the providence of God it was best for Lazarus to die, though it could have been averted—but only with divine help. Humanly speaking, you did the best you could. You are not as wise nor as strong as God. You did what you could, and you must leave the results to Him. Do not reproach yourself for negligence or ignorance. Regardless of what you had done, you are still a fallible and feeble creature. You did the best you could.

Suppose Your Child Had Lived

Multitudes of children today, growing up to maturation, are entering upon a life of crime or shame. Think of the children who bring disgrace and suffering to their parents. A father in Atlanta, Georgia, a man of wealth and who was known for his gentleness and graciousness, said to me that he wished he had buried his son the day that he sent him away to college. Think of the sad parents who have nothing but bitter memories of a debauched and godless son or daughter. Think of the anxiety of parents as their children are swept along in today’s changing world. Think of the millions of starving children in many parts of the world, of the multitudes of boys and girls being brainwashed by godless ideologies. Think of the pinched faces and swollen tummies of children who are the victims of war. You will never know a haunting dread for the future of your child, nor will there be ever a sting in your memory. God knew what was in the future for your child. Perhaps there would have been a life of illness, a disfiguring accident or brain damage, or a lingering, incurable disease. God knew all of this, and I am confident that He has given you the better part. You can be certain about your child’s future now; you could not be certain if your little one were alive.

You Will See Your Little One Someday

If you have faith in a living Savior who was victorious over death and the grave, then you will someday see your little one. We are told through the apostle Paul,

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

Notice that he did not say we are not to sorrow; he said that we are not to sorrow as those who have no hope. Death is yet to be defeated. Someday the dead in Christ are to be raised from the grave,

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. (1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17)

The little form of your child will be raised from the grave and the spirit joined to the glorified body. If you are in Christ, you at that time will be reunited, and together you will be at home with Christ forever.

Will our children be as we last saw them? I do not know nor can I prove it from Scripture (for Scripture is silent at this point), but I believe with all my heart that God will raise the little ones as such and that the mothers’ arms that have ached for them will have the opportunity of holding them. The father’s hand that never held the little hand will be given that privilege. I believe that the little ones will grow up in heaven in the care of their earthly parents—if they are saved. One of the worst things of which I, as a father, can conceive, is of parents being in hell knowing that they cannot have their child—there are no children in hell. What an added joy this lends to heaven in looking forward to having your little one again! Though the Scriptures do not teach this explicitly, this does seem to be the sense. Remember that David expected to go to his child. And referring to children Christ said, “Of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

You Can Prove the Reality of God’s Comfort

His comfort is real; His presence is vital; His words are life. He can become a mighty reality to you now. He wants to enter into your sorrow and sympathize with you. When Jesus went to a funeral, these amazing words are recorded, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Because He had our humanity and was touched with the feeling of our infirmity, when He went to the cemetery, He wept—in spite of the fact that He intended to restore life.

In every pang that rends the human heart
The Man of Sorrow had a part.

There is a story of sweetness and beauty which enlightens the heart of every parent who has lost a child. It concerns a custom among the shepherd folk of the Alps. In the summertime when the grass in the lower valleys withers and dries up, the shepherds seek to lead their sheep up a winding, thorny, and stony pathway to the high grazing lands. The sheep, reluctant to take the difficult pathway infested with dangers and hardships, turn back and will not follow. The shepherds make repeated attempts, but the timid sheep will not follow. Finally a shepherd reaches into the flock and takes a little lamb and places it under his arm, then reaches in again and takes another lamb, placing it under the other arm. Then he starts up the precipitous pathway. Soon the mother sheep start to follow and afterward the entire flock. At last they ascend the torturous trail to green pastures.

The Great Shepherd of the sheep, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, has reached into the flock and He has picked up your lamb. He did not do it to rob you but to lead you out and upward. He has richer and greener pastures for you, and He wants you to follow.

Will you follow Him? You will, if you catch a glimpse

Of the good Shepherd on the height.
Or climbing up the starry way,
Holding your little lamb asleep.
While like the murmur of the sea
Soundeth that voice along the deep,
Saying, “Arise, and follow Me.”

McGee, J. Vernon, On Comfort: Words of Hope for the Hurting, (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers) 2001, c1994.

BigMack

195 posted on 06/08/2002 10:18:54 PM PDT by PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain
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To: OxfordMovement

Emmylou Harris

All My Tears
(Julie Miller)

When I go don't cry for me
In my fathers arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole

Sun and moon will be replaced
With the light of Jesus' face
And I will not be ashamed
For my savior knows my name

It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven's store
Come and drink and thirst no more

So weep not for me my friend
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to him
Who will raise the dead again

I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

196 posted on 06/08/2002 10:32:03 PM PDT by nunya bidness
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To: OxfordMovement
You and your family will be in my prayers tonight.
197 posted on 06/08/2002 10:35:33 PM PDT by Pelayo
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To: OxfordMovement
Additional thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
198 posted on 06/08/2002 10:42:08 PM PDT by Salvation
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To: Vets_Husband_and_Wife; OxfordMovement
In about a year after the loss of a loved one you can consider going on a Beginning Experience Weekend -- grief recovery weekend.
199 posted on 06/08/2002 10:47:32 PM PDT by Salvation
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To: OxfordMovement
Sweet Jesus in Heaven, please comfort this grieving family and hold them in your loving arms. Amen
200 posted on 06/08/2002 10:49:33 PM PDT by 3catsanadog
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