Posted on 01/24/2003 4:41:20 PM PST by A.J.Armitage
When my husband and I moved from Utah to the Washington, D.C. area seventeen years ago, we knew nothing of the inadvertent legacy we carried from our four years in Utah. Shortly after we arrived in our new home, we saw a television commercial for a local grocery store chain. The spokeswoman's name was the unusual "Odonna." "She's gotta be from Utah," I said to my husband. "That's a Utah name if I ever heard one."
We eventually learned that Odonna was, indeed, Utah born and bred.
It dawned on us that many names we'd heard during our college careers, and found only mildly remarkable, were indeed unique to the Utah Mormon culture. Thus began our quest to define what makes some names singularly Utahn, and what sets them apart from ethnic names with roots in other cultures, such as Juanita or Shoshanna; or African-American names such as Tawanda and Shaquille; or the newly common, soap-operaesque handles such as Skylar, Tiffany, Raven, and Adrienne. There's a difference, and it's not just the obviously Mormon scriptural names like Mahonri or Nephi or Moroni. Often identifying a Utah name is a gut feeling akin to Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography: you know it when you see it.
The quintessential Utah name often has a French-sounding prefix such as Le-, La-, Ne-, or Va-. Often names appear to have genesis in the combined names of the parents--Veradeane or GlenDora, for example. Related is the practice of feminizing the father's name--as in Vonda (dad is Vaughan) or Danetta. Others, such as Snell or Houser, appear to be surnames called into service as first names.
Related is the curious tendency, more common in Utah than elsewhere, for men (women do not seem to do this) to use the first initial, then the full middle name as the given name, such as L. Flake Roberts, who ran for office in Utah County when we lived there. (Come on, you've noticed this habit among the general authorities of the LDS church!) Besides puzzling over why someone would want to be known as "Flake," it makes one wonder just what the "L" stands for.
[Hmmmm. Where have we heard about that before? --A.J.]
So my husband and I entertained ourselves by collecting the often bizarre names we found in Utah publications (including the obituaries, which indicates that this is not a recent fad) and of Utah natives we met. We compiled a list and shared it with our friends, who often as not had a few more to add. We really hit a bonanza when one woman shared our observations with her mother, who worked at a Utah bank and had access to lots of names. She started her own list and began sending the names to us. (My personal favorite, LaNondus, came from this source.) Another friend told us of a set of sisters, all of whose names began with "Ja."
Once my husband had Internet access, he collected more names and corresponded with another couple who amused themselves the same way. They made cleverly categorized lists: "The ward choir director's daughters: LaVoice, Choral, Audia."
It makes you wonder what some parents were thinking when, for instance, they named their baby girl Lanae (la-nay)--and she unfortunately ended up with a big nose (le nez [la-nay] in French means "the nose"). Or the girl named M'Lu--are clever wags endlessly asking her to skip to it? And how the heck do people with apostrophes in their names fill out computerized forms? There's no apostrophe space. The guy I really pity, though, is the one saddled with the unfortunate moniker, Rube.
Of course, parents cannot predict what new interpretations the marketplace will bring to the names they lovingly bestow on their offspring. I once worked at a company which had dealings with a woman named LaPriel (pronounced la-prell). When I told my former roommate about this inexplicable first name, she sardonically replied, "What's her sister's name--LaTegrin?"
With the generally larger-than-average family, often saddled with the very ordinary surnames Smith, Johnson, or Young, it's not surprising that many Utah parents look for unique given names for their children. When you throw in the reverence for family and ancestors forwarded by the LDS Church, it seems inevitable that someone would end up with LaEarl, KDell, Arnolene or Hariella.
Some names, though, seem to defy description--if not pronunciation. While pride of place may have spawned Utahna, how did somebody come up with Wealtha? And while Lloydine's genesis seems plausible, how on earth were Printha or Noy coined? And I have no idea what constitutes the correct pronunciation for Kairle or Tawhnye. (I suspect they may be wildly creative spellings of Carol and Tonya.)
Perhaps the following list (by no means comprehensive) will amuse you. Perhaps it will offend you. Perhaps you will find your name, or the name of a relative, on it. Or perhaps you will be so enchanted by a particular name that you'll want to bestow it upon one of your own offspring. If that is your plan, first do this: go to the back door, fling it open and yell the name at the top of your lungs six or eight times, because that's how it's going to be heard for the next eighteen years. And remember, when little Wynante (boy or girl, you choose) grows up, you'll have to live with the consequences.
The new parents couldn't be happier: Gladell & Delightra (sisters), Luvit, Delecta, Delite, Joyette, Joi, Joyia, Joyellen, Joycell, Hallah Lujah [How about Hallah Back Y'all? --A.J.], Bliss, Joyanne
Cleanliness is next to Godliness: Zestpoole, Sparkle
The Ward Choir Director's Daughters: Aria, Audia, Aurel, Choral, LaVoice, Tonilee, Capella, Chime, Rocksan Violin
Jewels every one: Amulet, Pearlette, Pearlene, Emerald, JewlyAnn, Ahmre Jade, Treasure Tonya, Turquoise Nova, Sequin, Amethist.
Girls you just know have big, floofy hair: Blondeen, Rayette, Faundaree, Shazette, Shasheena, Honilynn, Najestica, Teasa, Shazzanna, Pluma, Bobbette, Blonda, Breezy, Wenderella, Aquanetta, Brinderella, Dazzlyn
Maybe they're in the Klingon Ward: Tchae, Xko, Corx, G'ni, Vvhs, Garn, Ka, Deauxti, Xymoya, Sha'Kira [Her older sister is called Macare'na.], Zy, Xela, Tscharna, Nivek, Zon'tl, Zagg, Xan, Judziah Datz (a female, named after a character in Star Trek), K'lar (ditto), Jarna Nazhalena, Chod, Xarek, Grik, Stod, T'Shara, Tral, Sherik, Curg
[I am Krang the Merciless!! And I'm a Mormon!]
The Worth of a Soul: Cashley
Astronomical: LeVoid, Sunan, Moonyene, Starlene, Sunelly, Luna, Lunia, Solinda, Sunirae, Staryl, Marandastarr, Season, Aries, Starlyn, Cressent, Celestial Starr, Summerlyn, Astrolena
Could only be LDS: Cumorah Hill, Liahonna, Ensign, Nauvoo, Kirtland, Templa, Templer, Tempella, Tempalia, Ziona, Deseret (and Desereta), Tabernacle, Woodruff, Pratt, Tithing, Quorum, Helamans Warrior, Iron Rod, Morona, Manti, Stripling, Nephi Courage, Celestial Glory, Celestian, Brighaminie, Zion, Xione (pronounced "zion")
Parents were BYU math majors: Alpha Mae, Seven, Seavenly, Twenty, Prime, Omega Lee, Jennyfivetina, Tenna [Mormon porn star: Tenna Tameson.], Elevena, Ninea, Eighta
[How would you like to be named after your birth order?]
You can name a kid this, but you shouldn't ingest it: Cola, Vinyl, Orlon, Chlorine, Clorene, Florene, Florine, Lexann, Dow, Tide, Downy, Codiene, Daquari, DeCon, Starbuck, Crayon, Treasure Cocaine
[Classy. Real classy.]
Names inspired by the family car: Audi, Fairlene, Celecta, Pontiac, Vonda, Vonza, Auto, Cherokee, Lexus, Porsche, Skylark, Truckston, Avis, Chevrollette, Chevonne, Caprice, Dodge
["Honey, nothing says class like Lexus. Now go make some jello."]
Wishful thinking: Darlin', Courage, Winsome, Justan Tru, Pictorianna, Paradise Sunrise, Sage, Angelic, Breed, Godlove, Myrth, LaVirgin, DeFonda Virtue, Chastice, Normalene, Lovie Angel, Precious Blessing, Heavenly Melanie, Glee, Mormon Beauty, Pledger, Jentill, Devota, Coy, Fondd, Bridella, Verna Noall, Vervine, Viva, Golden Noble, MarVel, MemRee, Brunette, Merrily, Merry Ann, Celestial, Cherrish, Kash, Cashelle, Teton, Forever, Luvit, Mystiq, Worthy, Truly, Pleasant, Speedy, Hereditary, Shrudilee, Halo, Gentry, Truthanne, Finita, Mavryck, Amen, Merrijane, Marvelous Man.
Dad's hobby is obvious: Justa Cowgirl, Rode O, Hazer, Durango, Rifle, Laker, Jazz, Truck. Granite, Garnet, Gneiss (and other sisters with rock names beginning with “G.”)
Conversational: Whisper, Chat
Indications of possible birthplace: Arizonia, Floria, Montania, Utah, Utahna, Idahana, Idaho, Mauntana [Flunk spelling, name you kid Mauntana. Study hard!], Michigan, Nevadna, Okla, Vermont, Wyoming, Wyoma, Cache, Jordana, Payson, Vernal, Boise, Brookelynn, Lexington, Demoyn, Fredonia, Leremy, Platte, Salina, Seattle, Takoma, Tulsa, Tustin, Vail, Lundyn, Londyn, Irelynd, Irelan, Madrid, Manila, Cairo, Damascus, Tyre, Desert, Shahara, Trinidad, Houston, Cachelyn, D'Asia, Edon, Takoda, Orem, Shannon doah, Davenport Shore
No man (or woman) is an island - exceptions: Oahu, Irlanda, Tonga, SeaBreaze, Tiki Lou
Possible conception placenames: Hilton, Nafeteria, Bridges, Castle
Indications of possible birthdates: Juneth, Junola, LaJune, Julyn, Halloween, Novella, Summerisa, Winnter, Christmas Holiday, Merrienoel, Kris Miss, Tuesdee, Aprella
The day dawn is breaking: Dawnae, Dawnia, Dawnel, Dawnelle, Dawnene, Dawnalyn, Dawnette, Karadawn, RaDawn, Keturah Dawn, SheriDawn, LuDawn, LaDawn, Le Dawn, El Dawn, Dawnetta, Dawnese, Mistidawn, Berva Dawn, Celestial Dawn, Bodawn, Honey Dawn, Sunrise, Dawny, Yodawn, Dawnika, Dawnray, Denverly Dawn, Sunni Dawn, Dusty Dawn, Taradawn, Twyla Dawn, Georgia Dawn, Iva Dawn, Marva Dawn
Dad was a plumber: Valva, BeDae, Latrina, La Jonne, Digger
Dad worked for the postal service: Mailene
Dad's a lawyer: Justicia
Dad had a hernia: Truss
Less is more: La, Oa, NB, T, M, Q, JJ
I hope the computer will accept apostrophes in the name fields: D'Ann, D'Aun, D'Bora, D'Dee, D'Elise, D'Loaf, D'Shara, E'all, L'Deane, L'orL, Ja'mon, J'Costa, J'dean, J'Leen, J'net, J'Shara, J'Vonna, La'Donis, Me'shell, M'Jean, M'Kaaylie, M'Kenna, Mi'Lara, M'Lisa, M'Liss, M'Lu, M'Recia, O'lea, R'dell, R'lene, Shan'l, Young'n, B'andra, De'lys, D'Dree
["And the called her... O'Lestra. She had the runs a lot."]
Future names of prescriptions: Lyravin, Monalaine, Nyleen, Merlaine, Monease, Naquel, Ronalene, Nylan, Rolayne, Tyron, Lexine, Lyrin, Mikatin, Artax, Xtrin, Tylene, Qedrin, Tamrin, Denilyn, Kevrin, Nicolin, Xylan, Tolex, Zylan, Daycal, Falycid, Zerin, Davon, Sydal
Wow! What a Babe!: Wavie, Zhalore, LaTanna, Tressa, LaDreama, Amourette
Fluid-related: Thermos, Soda, Logan River, Jordan River, Susquehannah, Canteen
When simple alphabetic characters aren't enough: K-8 (pronounced "Kate," I guess)
[Kids: that's happens when you're illiterate. Stay in school!]
Politically incorrect: Sambo, Aryion
[Maybe they weren't thinking "Aryan", but "Arian". Heretics gotta stick together!]
Heard chanted in the Salt Lake airport: Ara-Om
Has food connotations: Dianarea, Dicey, Vindalu, Blenda, Strawberry, Sugarlee, Beena, Pork Chop, Sesami, Jar, Karmel, Kresent, TaffiLyn, Chipo
Had breathing problems in the hospital nursery: Azure, Syrullean
You might find in a forest: Wrendie, Jilbear, Timber, Oaks, Pixie, LaFawnduh, Fawn-Dew, Ember, Bird, Magpie, Serenity Fawn, Paradi, L'Aire, Brookelle, Sylvan, Fawna, Lawn, Rain, Gazelle, El Fawn ["El" makes it masculine, "Fawn" makes it girly-poofy. El Fawn: expressing pride from Salt Lake City to San Francisco.], Aspen, Acacia, Panda, Briar, Rhodendra, Fernnola, Birdene, Hummingbird, Disney, Chinchilla Zest, Haven, Glade
No doubt about it, this kid's in charge: Rexina, Rexine, Queenola, Dominee, Ruger, Messiah Angel, Oden, RexDee, Navy, Jentry, Czar, LeeMaster, Quintessa, Marquessa, Leviathan, Captain.
Smells: Cachet, Reaka, Violeet, Avon, Budla
Faux ethnic: Laddie, Walkasheaqua, Bsjonet, Hishla, Chilnecha, Forthilda, Kaltighanna, Alainka, Chip-wa, Pawnece America, Zem Saxon, O'Ann, WaThene, Sheighlagh, Valliere
Commemorating something or another: Welcome Exile, Confederate American, Southern Justice, Liberty Lulu, Young Elizabeth, Genesis, MistiNoele, Imagine, Thankful Flood, Friends Forsaken, Joyous Noel, Tennyson, Knight Train, Miracles Precious One, Sunday's Hoseana, Disney, Blessing Ream, Stormy Shepherd, Denim Levi, Vernal Independence, Sincere Devotion, Mothers, Elvoid, Noah-Lot, Mormon Miracles, MyLae, Nightrain Lane, Zion Anakin, Jeopardee, Statehood, Denim Levi
Let's hope not: Rube, Sleeza, Nymphus, Golden P., Burns, Hydra, Non, Malis, Talon, Beefea, Patches, Storm, Slayer, Sterile, Slaughter, Jynx, Hyde, Prynne, StormiAnn, Sham, Apathy, DeRail, Dull, Gamble
In a class of their own (In fact, I'm not sure I believe these but we asked for details and a confirmation and got convincing replies, so here they are): NaLa'DeLuhRay, Phakelikaydenicia, Zaragrunudgeyon ("Zarg," for short), Jennyfivetina, Tiarrhea, Nudity, VulvaMae, DaLinda LaDale, Tugdick, Saunsceneyouray, and, yes... Clitoris.
["Well, it sounded pretty when the doctor said it, and my wife Placenta likes it."]
Teletubbies: Laalaa
Guaranteed to get last place on our list (or anyone else's): ZZkora
I can't think of anything clever to write but these must be mentioned: Barbeli, Revo Cram, Feramorz, Glint, LaNondus, Wynante, Camera, Lecoya, AureJudd, NaNon, Bimberly, DavidO, Leumas ("Samuel" backwards), Ralphene, Shimber, T-vive, Synthi, CoJane, Nona-rene, Gaylawn, Txanton, LaZello, Daycal, Sancie D'Wan, RaVoe, Zenus, Gatobon, LaEarl, Trystal, AndiOdette, Serenity-Tabitha-Ann, Alexavier, X Y Zella, Bonquisha, Musser Cenia, Jubeltine, Oryeon, Shlori, Danlonaga, Zedwain, Casualeen, Young'n, Shambertine Crille, Canon, Malique, LeeWitt, Jazzeri, DeRaunz, Teru, Aaro, Divid, Cimemthymia, LaDonnaJosephrania, LaDeeDee, deRalph, MaddLynAlain, Vyquetoriya, Falycid, Rophis, Mick BonScott, Kaysional Tempest, Darianlelo, DeLaVerne, BoChe', Minnet, Kandle, Seena Tawnya, Dwodger, J Thoral, Xanderrick, Abcde, KNikkol, Demeatrice, LLean Shanalyn, Scytha Solena, HiDee
Latter-day Saints, unlike many other Christian traditions, do not accept the definitions of God as created by the Greek philosophers. Our beliefs about the Godhead "are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner [stone]." (The Holy Bible, Ephesians 2:20)
Using the apostolic and prophetic teachings as our base, Latter-day Saints believe in the Jesus who was the preexistent Word of the Father; that was the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; that was the God of Abraham , Isaac, and Jacob; that was the Only Begotten Son of God who was born to the virgin Mary in the town of Bethlehem; that was baptized by John; that healed the sick and raised the dead, that walked on water, multiplied loaves and fishes, and performed many other miracles; that set a perfect example for mankind to emulate and that all men and women are commanded to follow his teachings and example in all things.
We believe that Jesus suffered in the garden and on the cross, until he finally died as a willing sacrifice for mankind in order to bring about an infinite atonement through the shedding of his blood. After his death, we believe that he was physically resurrected and that he ascended into the heavens, from which he will come at the end of this world to establish his kingdom upon the earth and eventually to judge both the living and the dead. We believe Jesus is and was the Holy Messiah, the Savior and Redeemer of the world and all those who will follow him. Finally, we believe in the Jesus who is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations.
Now that we have established the identity of the Jesus Christ in whom Latter-day Saints believe, may I ask who is the Jesus in whom you believe?
Taken from Do Mormons believe in a different Jesus?
Not surprising, given the shallowness of your intellect and the callowness of your soul.
What YOU need answers for is HOW to begin the repentence process. Your Lying-In-Wait-To-Deceive game is taking you farther and farther down the road to hellfire, and were I you, I'd turn about quick.
Worry less about the great work of Christ's ONLY true Church on the face of the earth, and more about your own dark, dirty, filthy works.
The former has no effect on you at all. The latter will damn you for eternity if you do not repent.
CA what did you hear during Sunday School, Gospel Doctrine, and Relief Society even Sacrament?
Were you able to honor fast Sunday?
Were you consistence in prayer and reading your scriptures daily?
Really CA how many years did you endur?
I think these are reasonable questions?
Wow, what an interesting and ORIGINAL claim!
How convenient for you anti-Christ "nitwits". When you run out of ideas, you just start and the beginning and go all over again!
The fact that you appear to be "going all over yourself" to the casual observer, of course, is inconvenient, but don't let that stop you (especially when you have other religious-incontinents standing by to tell you that your Urine makes the best lemonade they ever tasted).
NO OTHER RELIGIOUS DENOMINATION ON EARTH, expecting only the Roman Catholic Church, does more charitable work, gives more in terms of money, goods and services, than the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Your ignorance does you great service; it reveals you for the smarmy antiChrist you are.
My questioning was not to judge you. I have no Idea if you attened a ward or a branch? The purpose for the question is that these things really have nothing to do with physical, or to form an mundane opinion.
It is to help one see how much one has in their spiritual bank account. For this is the fuel that enable one to endur trails and not fall away!
It is something that has to be continually nurtured so one is protected. It is very easy for the oposition to distract and lead one way.
It is you folks that embrass the Pagan version of ANOTHER JESUS the one from Consatantine known as the Nicene Creed. Their is no such referance in the Bible called the Nicene Creed.
The NC was never Authorized by a servants of the Lord, that were call as was Aaron!

Please you know the different
and you made a choice 
that would fit comfortable
with your life style!
I know your profit. He is yesterday what Benny is today. A charlatan. By their works I know them.
Had you lived in the days of the Savior's walk on this earth, you WOULD have eagerly cast the first stone.
I would have followed Him as he choose me first.
Spirit babies are homeless, too!
Also bodiless!!!
What IS it about 'official LDS sources' (ref #463) that causes you to recoil so violently from them?
Is it the realization that perhaps the thing you so wish to be true and pure, has warts, errors and a crumbly foundation?
Moses 4:1 AND I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the begining, and he came before me, saying--Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will I all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.
Illbay, I suggest that you look around the Samaritan's Purse Website and see if you find any references to the LDS Church's allegedly massive donations. Check it out.
Samaritan's Purse exists to carry out the Great Commission and to spread the Gospel that Billy Graham and Franklin Graham preach -- The REAL Gospel -- not the False gospel that Joseph Smith preached.
Now if you can provide us with some evidence that the LDS Church has made massive official donations to Samaritan's Purse that would indeed be interesting.
Also bodiless!!!
Spirit babies live with Heavenly Father in heaven. clones evolve from a test tuble and when they expire they they no longer exist not even in the spirit world, and are NOT resurrected on Judgement Day!
Is that official LDS Doctrine? Or just your own bizzarre theories?
NOTE2: The catholic church is all believers in Jesus Christ. As the Mormons prefer being called LDS, so the church with its assumed head being the Pope is rightly referred to as the ROMAN Catholic Church, i.e., that part of the universal church with its leadership in Rome, Italy. There is a significant difference.
Therefore, I have no problems using the word "catholic" in the Nicene Creed.
P.S. - you probably knew this, so I simply make the information available to others who may have missed that part of Sunday School.
Grace and peace
BTW most Christian missionaries do NOT get a salary..they come back to the states to raise money by visiting churches and finding sponsers..so your dad did well...
I compared your prophet to the pope and that stands..he lives very well with no numbers being given to the people that pay the bills...
What is it to you if people like a full time 24/7 Pastor and are willing to give him a living allowance so he can be there for them?
When my grandson died the pastor spent 5 days with us.,other than to sleep he was never away..he even drove the body south in the church van..
I think the fact that your President came from "humble" beginings makes it more suspicious looking at his suits and travel..he certainly is not spending "old family money" (except YOUR family money) .
Again I think that is fine but a bit of hyprocicy on bills part not to see the log in the Mormon$ eye on this one

Yea they just get "allowances". I will remember that
BTW who makes a profit on the sale of the underwear ..that is handled by the local bishop right? What other things is he the middle man for? Does he have a credit card for fuel etc?
In a christian church that all would be in the yearly report
LOL I knew it..so you get and "allowance " huh??..Hyprocity
Interesting idea. Do have mormon scripture on that, or a new revelation? Or is it your own opinion?
So why don't you take this opportunity and accept the True Gospel? Say the sinner's prayer and from this day forward follow the TRUE and LIVING Christ (not the Brother-of-Lucifer-counterfeit, but the ALMIGHTY GOD original). Then perhaps you can meet some of these clones in heaven.
My older brother spent 8 months in Kenya working for Africa Inland Missions. He spent a lot of time raising the money needed to cover his expenses. He sure didn't do it to get rich.
He spent the time there setting up an accounting system for them. It wasn't what he thought he was going there for, but it was where God lead him.
Ummmmmmmmmm I do not think they give to "Catholic Charities" either (if they do someone needs to speak to the bishop there about it)...
Isn't considered a virtue to lie for the sake of the "gospel "in the LDS belief system?? Sorta like "falling up"
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