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RANBO'
Gun-toting granny shoots 2 rapists' testicles off
MELBOURNE, Australia -- Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - - and shot their testicles off!
"The old lady spent a week hunting those bums down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way," said admiring Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. "Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.'
81-year-old Ava Estelle shows how she turned two rapists into sopranos.
Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the seedy hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up. The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, policy said. "The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to," Detective Delp told reporters. "Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through."
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the police would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either -- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' it all my life."
So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos' car, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel. "I know it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them," the ornery oldster recalled. "So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door -- and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em got right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in."
Now, baffled lawmen are tying to figure out how to deal with the vigilante granny. "What she did was wrong, but you can't really throw an 81-year-old woman in prison." Det. Delp said, "especially when all 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood."
I didn't have a URL for this because it was sent to me via email.. But had to post it. I'm still laughing.
I see she remembers how to deal with bushrangers. G'day!
Let's all chip in and buy her an airline ticket to Washington DC so she can pay a visit on our rapist president!! Go Granny Go!!
This article has already been posted here and exposed as a fake. Here's the FR URL.
" I shot 'em got right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went down to the police"
What a woman..
Ah heck, I knew it sounded too good to be true .....
Sort of give a whole new meaning to the statement, "I'll bet they will not have the b#lls to try that again?"
THIS ONE isn't a fake. From Mike Royko, 1993:
We've had the year of the woman and it is still going on, with females being elected to high office and named to cabinet posts, and the power of Hillary Rodham Clinton.
But what about Curtescine Lloyd? You never heard of her? Well, she is my choice as one of the most amazing and heroic women of our times.
Ms. Lloyd is a middle-aged nurse who lives with an elderly aunt in the rural hamlet of Edwards, Miss., near Jackson.
This is her story, most of it taken from a court transcript.
One night, Ms. Lloyd was awakened by a sound. She thought it was h er aunt going to the bathroom.
Suddenly a man stepped into her bedroom. Terrified, she sat up. He shoved her back down and said: "You better not turn on a light. You holler, you're dead. You better not even breathe loud."
He declared his intentions. which were to rob her and commit sexual assault. Of course, he phrased it far more luridly.
Then he took off most of his clothing and jumped into her bed.
Here is what happened next. according to court records:
Ms. Lloyd: "I got it. I grabbed it by my right hand. And when I grabbed it, I gave it a yank. And when I yanked it, I twisted all at the same time."
(Need I explain what Ms. Lloyd meant by "it"? I think not.)
"He hit me with his right hand a hard blow to the head, and when he hit me, I grabbed hold of his scrotum with my left hand and twisted the opposite way. He started to yell and we fell to the floor and he hit me a couple of more licks, but they were light licks. He was weakening already."
With Ms. Lloyd still hanging on with both hands, squeezing and twisting, they somehow struggled into the hallway.
"He was trying to get out, and I'm hanging onto him, and he was throwing me from one side of the hall to the other. I was afraid if I let go, he was going to kill me.
"So I was determined I was not going to turn loose. So we were going down the hallway failing from one side to the other, and we got into the living room and we both fell. He brought me down right in front of the couch and he leaned back against the couch, with me.
"He says. 'You 've got me, you've got me, please, you've got me.' I said. 'I know damn well I got you.' He said: 'Please, please, you re killing me. you're killing me. I can't do nothing. Call the police, call the police.'
"I said. 'Do you think I'm stupid enough I'd turn you loose and call the police?' He said, 'Well, what am I gonna do" I said, 'You're gonna get the hell out of my house.' He said: 'How can I get out of your house if you won't let me go?' How can I get out?'
"I said: 'Break out. Son of a bitch. You broke in didn't you? And I was still holding him.
"He said, 'Oh. you've got me suffering, lady, you've got me suffering.' I said, 'Have you thought about how you were going to have me suffering?' He said, 'Well, I can't do nothing now.' I said, 'Good.'"
Ms. Lloyd, still twisting and squeezing, dragged the lout to the front door, which had two locks, and told him to unbolt them.
It was a difficult process because he kept collapsing to the floor and she kept hauling him back to his feet.
"When he finally unlocked the door, he screamed, 'I'm out, I'm out.'" But Ms. Lloyd, now confident that she had a full grasp of the situation. said: "No. I'm taking you to the end of the porch. And when I turn you loose. I'm going to get my gun and I'm going to blow your (obscenity) brains out, you nasty, stinking, low-down dirty piece of (obscenity).
"And when I did that, I gave a twist, and I turned him loose. He fell off the steps, jumped up, and limped around the back of my aunt's car and started down the hill.
"And I ran into my aunt's room, got her pistol from the nightstand, ran back to the porch and I fired two shots down the hill the way I saw him go. Then I ran back in he house and dialed 911."
The police came and examined the man's clothing. Inside the trousers was written the name Dwight Coverson. They found Coverson, 29, at home, in considerable pain and wondering if he could ever be a daddy.
A one-day jury trial was held. As Coverson's court-appointed lawyer put it, "The jury was out 10 minutes."
And the judge gave him 25 years in prison.
The defense lawyer also said that Ms. Lloyd was recently on a local Mississippi TV news show and mentioned that she had been contacted about a possible movie of her story.
That is a film I would pay to see.
My favorite Weekly World News headline:
Cheating Wife's Head Explodes.
They also had pics of Rush cavorting with aliens.
I really didn't know. That's why I wasn't able to post a URL and posted it under Humor but I don't think it was disproved. Only questioned.
I apprecialte anyone searching for the validity of stories but wonder why they don't do the same with all stories and only a selected few.
Thank you. That may be the funniest thing I've ever read on FR.
"The police came and examined the man's clothing. Inside the trousers was written the name Dwight Coverson. They found Coverson, 29, at home, in considerable pain and wondering if he could ever be a daddy."
Too funny
Ouch! ROTFL!
I heard another one years ago on Paul Harvey how a woman heard her female neighbor screaming for help in the alley between their houses. So she goes outside as sees this guy trying to drag her neighbor away. The only weapon she can find are rocks. Big ones. So she proceeds to chuck them up the side of the would be rapist head until he lets go and flees for his life. As he is running away, this female Nolan Ryan keeps hitting him in the back and the back of the head until he is finally out of range.
The heroine in this case was a 65 year old grandmother.
This is one movie that Lifetime ("The All men Are Monsters" Network) might make that I would really enjoy seeing.
"I shot 'em got right square between the legs, "
I'll bet the don't have the balls to rape anyone again...
First of all, who writes their name in the pants, and secondly, I don't care if he's going to be a daddy, at least we know that he won't be a rapist!
"I grabbed it by my right hand. And when I grabbed it, I gave it a yank. And when I yanked it, I twisted all at the same time."
Now THAT is a 'head-lock!'
"Now THAT is a 'head-lock!' "
I'm one of those people who try to visualize a story when I hear it and this visual is extremely funny.. I can see it all..
God Bless women with Guns to protect themselves!
Attawaytago Granny!!!!!!
"...this visual is extremely funny.. "
I find this story amusing to the point of justice being served and a woman defending herself successfully.
However, I don't neccessarily find your visualization excercise "extremely funny."
[If you need to know why, ask Texas Dad.]
"First of all, who writes their name in the pants, and secondly, I don't care if he's going to be a daddy, at least we know that he won't be a rapist!"
I thought it was a note but if you take your pants to the laundry, your name is written in them.
My husband always laughts because MY name is written inside of all of his trousers and shirts.
And I tell him, that's so he remembers who he belongs to.
"[If you need to know why, ask Texas Dad.]"
Hahaha! is that why he crossed his legs and went OOOOO! when I told him the story?
I think he was doing a little visual exercize there as well..
Think this is a good place for this. Click Here
That's what I call BALL BUSTER JUSTICE! Good for her....
Congratulations to the author! This had me laughing right out loud sitting here all alone in my office.
HHHMMMMMM..... Didn't Paula Jones say that Bill Clinton was bent? [Of course, we all knew he was crooked.]
I wonder what heroic woman left her mark on the Bent-One.
Give that woman a bottle of Geritol and a new gun.
Well I can't speak for all grannies but if anyone hurt my two little granddaughters they better be aware grandma is packin.
I wouln't hesitate to do the exact same thing
"That's what I call BALL BUSTER JUSTICE! Good for her...."
LOL!
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